My cat loves others but notme :'(

I have had Kiki (a tom), since he was 6 months old. I lived with my, then, partner James but split 2 years ago this coming November. They both adored each other (despite James disliking the idea of having a cat). In March 2015, I moved into a house share with 6 others because I was lonely and needed my own company and I came to dislike the memories of the place we once shared.
It also allowed Kiki to venture outside as I lived on a main/busy road so I couldn't let him out.
Anyway, it seems that Kiki much prefers (human), male company to me. He has the range of a big house and sleeps where he likes but it's bugging me recently that he doesn't want to stay in my room from time to time/at night, preferring to sleep in my housemate's room at night. It feels like I barely see him apart from when I feed him. I play with him daily but he doesn't even seem interested in his toys.
I am also going to move to another city soon and am worried what impact this may have.
I am very sad so if anyone has any information, advice or even just a little understanding, I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you,
Lady H

I am sorry you are going through this. One of my friend's had a cat that was very attached to her husband and they ended up getting divorced.  It was really hard on Ripley at first.  I used to cat sit for him when she went out of town for work after the divorce. He seemed a little depressed at first and was hiding from me.  This is a people cat and it was not normal for him to hide from me.  I had my hubby go over and check on him a few times to see if he acted any differently and he was all lovey with my hubby.  I started using to treats to get him to come out of hiding. Also I started using interactive toys like Da-Bird to get him to play.  He had other toys but would not play with them with me. I asked his mommy to get that toy for him and she did.  Gradually through treats and play I was able to get him back to acting normal.  Ripley sadly passed away one night in his sleep.

It seems to me like Kiki has transitioned the relationship he had with your former partner to your male roommate.  Perhaps you could try using to treats and interactive toys to encourage him to play.  I would not worry right now about the move.  Hopefully once you move and there are no male roommates this issue will resolve itself.  My friend's cat over time adjusted to her hubby being gone and went back to acting normal around both of us without my hubby having to be around.

Also I really believe that cat's can just go through phases of where they like to sleep.  I have had my baby Apollo for three years now. When I adopted him he slept on me every night.  Then he went through a phase that lasted almost a year where he would only sleep on top of my couch downstairs by himself.  Now he comes to bed with us sometimes.  He also used to be very bonded to me and now there are times he will just hang out in a room with me but will be all over my hubby for cuddles. I have no idea what caused the changes in his sleep behavior.

My oldest cat Starbuck is 9 years old and we adopted her as a 6 week old kitten. When she was a baby she slept under the blankets between us every night.  Now she seems to prefer my desk chair.  She will come to bed with if I pick her up and bring her.  Sometimes she stays and sleeps other times she runs away. Sometimes she waits for hubby to go to bed before she will get on the bed.  There are times when I am getting dressed for work and she is on the bed trying to order me to go back to bed.  Sometimes when I am home alone on a day off I wake up and she is asleep on my head right next to our pillow.

I know it is sad and feels strange but Kiki not sleeping on your bed does not mean she does not love you or your relationship with he has changed.  I would not be surprised if things change again with her sleep patterns after your move.

Thank you so much for your reply with your stories and information. I very much appreciate it
I have tried treats and playing with all sorts of toys. I also got the impression that he seemed out of sorts the last few days as well but I can't explain... just noticed 'distant' behaviour. He does have lovely soft fur for a short haired tabby. Doesn't have fleas etc.
He did also bring me his first present the other day (a small, dead bird :/ in the garden) he meaowed a lot which he doesn't normally do (only at feeding times and very quietly), I petted him, thenter he playedid with ithe for a while. I didn't touch it but it was gone later when I returned to the spot in the garden where he had it but am not sure if perhaps he's become unwell as a result? I've never know him to capture anything before and also wondered if he found the bird already dead, then brought it to me.
I want to keep him in my room but I feel I am being cruel if I 'trap him in'? I want him to choose where he wants to go.
Another thing is, because we don't have a cat-flap, I keep him in over night because I'd hate it if he wanted to come back in but couldn't get in. So, maybe that is a factor?
I will be moving into another house share (with 2 people he knows and 2 he doesn't; 3 guys and 2 girls including myself) but, there is a cat flap for him to come and go at night if he chooses.
Sorry for all the additional information and I also welcome any other'site input.
Lady H

Quick question - is he neutered?

Yes he is.
Many thanks,
Lady H

*He was neutered before I got him.
Lady H

My male cat loves my old dad, even though I feed him and clean his litter and brush him. My female cat has claimed me as her person and I think he knows that. He hates her, we rotate them in house and garage and he has his own bedroom at night. Unfortunately after 6 years he try's to attack her repeatedly. They both love the dog, go figure! They all have quirks.

Thank you for your reply

Kiki seems to be much better now actually, thabk goodness. A few friends who have cats, have all said their cats have been 'under the weather' so there could be a kitty bug going around and maybe that's what Kiki's had?

I have an appointment with a vet next week so I will be taking him to get checked out just to err on the side of caution.

Many thanks,
Lady H