Will they ever get along?

I have had 2 sister tabbies for 3 years from they were 8 weeks. They used to be inseparable and then when I got them neutered, they haven't been great but they tolerate each other. I recently rescued a kitten from the engine of my brother's car - 3 weeks ago. The tabbies have free reign, indoor and out. So separating them from the kitten wasn't a problem. For a couple of days I kept them apart and let them both explore each other's designated areas a few times for the whole smell swap thing. When i tried to do face to face, One of the tabbies went bat poop crazy. The other wasn't happy but she has come to being in the house at the same time as the kitten and warns him off if he pesters her. Just a growl or hiss. He one that went crazy had to be coaxed in at night but now. I can't find. It's been 3 days since I last saw her....

The kitten isn't at all perturbed by them. Will the tabbies ever come around to him?? Please help

The kitten will come around but I highly suggest you go through the formal introduction process. Here is a very good and helpful link.  http://www.thecatsite.com/a/how-to-successfully-introduce-cats-the-ultimate-guide

We really want them to associate the kitten with good things like play and food and height and love. We want to keep them separate and start feeding on each side of the door. Then you move the food closer each day. You can do the scent swapping especially with play and food. Then you can do the site swapping.  At some point you want to start letting them see each other. I like to play with them in front of the door for a while then open it a little and on and on. Slowly, going through the process.

We can help you through this process. Just feel free to ask anything anytime and we'll help you along. There will be good days and some setback days but you will get there. The more confident each cat is the better the process will go. We build confidence through play, food, height, and love. Get them to play and then feed (either food or treats). Give them places to go high (cats love to be up and look down on the situation, it feels safe to them). And give them a lot of love if possible. Get them to purr. The more comfortable and secure they feel the better they will behave.

Thank you so much for saving the kittens life. Good luck on the introductions and we'll help you during the process.

Thanks! I think i'll start from the beginning again... If I can find the other cat

Three weeks is not long at all. Mine took 6 months before they really accepted each other. As long as there is just hissing and swatting you are doing all right, they think the kitten is highly irritating.  I pray your lost Tabby is just hiding somewhere, I will pray that she shows up soon.You are to be commended for taking in that baby, you will be blessed for giving them all such a wonderful home. Time is all that you need, all the luck!

Di and Bob said:

Three weeks is not long at all. Mine took 6 months before they really accepted each other. As long as there is just hissing and swatting you are doing all right, they think the kitten is highly irritating.  I pray your lost Tabby is just hiding somewhere, I will pray that she shows up soon.You are to be commended for taking in that baby, you will be blessed for giving them all such a wonderful home. Time is all that you need, all the luck!

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Thank you so much. I feels good to read that! I just feel so bad for the tabbies, like u have done them an injustice but I couldn't not take the wee tyke and he's coming on in leaps and bounds. My partner believes the tabbie in question is just sulking and will return in her own time but if she's not home tonight I am forming a search party!! Will let you know when she comes home. .. Thanks again

Hi guys
Ok so tabbie no.1 is home safe and sound although still not best pleased at the new addition.... I'm afraid the tabbies are displaying signs of depression... The one who has stayed about, she is more vocal than usual and sleeping around the clock. I thought she wasn't eating but she ate all the kitten's food. I let her because I was glad to see her eat. The kitten for right beside her today and she sniffed at him and growled until he walked away but no violence. I didn't remove him but I don't want her to stress out either. Tabbie no.1, has only eaten treats in my presence. Refused her food. Growled at me when I tried to walk past her. It's not that I am ignoring them, I don't see them when they disappear all day and when they come home I give them all the strokes and cuddles they want... They weren't ever particularly playful cats once they were grown so that's not a relevant sign of feline depression. Anybody any suggestions? My friend got a kitten the same day our wee man showed up and she has 8 other cats who now treat her kitten as their own. I'm kinda jealous!! She assures me they will come around but i'm afraid they are just getting ill instead...

The introduction process can vary wildly, from days to weeks to months, to even years. If you look at my thread, http://www.thecatsite.com/t/283930/cat-introduction-woes you can read about the saga that I've had going on for 2 years now. There's actually a LOT of great advice from people for difficult introductions so it's worth a read.

But that thread shows both ends of the pole; Sinbad and Tempest are 2 years in and still separated, but Sinbad and Bêlit were playing together within a matter of days.

The important thing for you is to not worry, as your cats will sense your stress/worry and that will make it harder on them. I have learned to step away when I start to fret and do something to distract myself.

Hi, Thank you. Yes I have been fretting. Ok so today isn't much better. Last night Lacie, the tabbie who has stayed about, was asleep on one of our tanks (we have a few exotics too that stay in heated tanks, or personal heated hotspots for the cats lol). The kitten, Diesel, ran right up on to the tank beside her and she growled. He just sat there. She sniffed him and then growled again and he got down.
She will eat his food but not her own. She sleeps much more than normal and her coat looks greasy but doesn't feel it. She's not playful but like I said previously, wasn't really anyway.
She looks like she's feeling sorry for herself.
I went out at bed time to call tabbie no.1, Dixie. She came straight away and I carried her down the garden to the house and she started to fuss and growl the closer we got. I took her into their room and closed the door. I made a bit of a fuss of her and she stretched out on the floor like the Queen she is. When bed time came and my partner was putting lacie into their room, he said she was perky when she saw Dixie, her sister. But when she approached her, Dixie went mad and frightened her and she became all sad again. So he thinks Dixie is tormenting Lacie through the night and that is what is stressing her out. Because lacie is in the house with Diesel and Dixie doesn't like that. We witnessed this last week. We went in search of dixie with Lacie in tow. Dixie led the way home with lacie following, she suddenly stopped and turned to hiss at lacie. Lacie promptly sat down in the middle of the road and refused to come home while Dixie marched on into bed.

I really don't know what is going on and I blame myself entirely but I wouldn't re home Diesel now. He's happy and thriving and seemingly oblivious to his two big tabby sisters having some domestic issues....

I have an abundance of patience but I feel powerless to help them. I keep telling myself it would be the same had we moved house or had a baby, that they will just have to get used to it and tough it out but im finding it hard not to feel these pangs of guilt.

Please do not feel guilty and please do not be hard on yourself. Your heart was and is in the right place. And you are trying and doing your best. I think that is wonderful.

I have gone through the feelings you are going through. I brought in a rescue and went through the introduction process, saw the existing cats go through ups and downs, I questioned if I did what was best. But through some effort things worked out. I think it can for you as well. And I would not have changed what I did, I did what I thought best at the time. Even if it didn't work out at least I tried to save a life.

So please do not be hard on yourself.

Lacie is adjusting to someone else in her house, in her territory. She doesn't know if he wants to hurt her etc. It is very normal.

It could be that Dixie is being a bit hard on Lacie. Sometimes a cat can be frustrated by losing territory or feeling like they are losing territory.   

I really hope that you use (if possible) food, play, height and love to build their confidence and to use scent and site swapping like i mentioned in a prior posting. I know they are not that playful so play might be difficult but use food and try to play with the kitten in the tabbies presence. Do the scent swapping when giving food (food and treats) and giving love. You want to associate the kitten with good things. And it just does take time. The tabbies need to adjust to the addition to the family and it does take time. But using food and love and giving them places to go high in the world will help them adjust. 3 weeks or so is not a long time in the introduction process as another poster mentioned. It sounds like you have good cats so I don't see why they can't adjust. It is always best to go through the formal introduction process as it isn't as big a shock as putting them together right away. The existing cats always have the harder adjustment in my experience and they feel a little threatened and are wondering what might happen so I like to spoil them with a lot of play and really good food (I use warm chicken thighs) and get them in their cat trees and give them a lot of love and get them to purr and feel comfortable. 

Hang in there and please do not be so hard on yourself. I know it is hard and I know your feelings but what you have done is you saved a life and given him a great home and the two tabbies should come around though I know it feels like it is impossible it really is possible and probable.

We are here for you, please ask anything anytime. 

Ok so a quick update....

Diesel is thriving. Completely fearless and oozes affection...

Lacie is still growling and hissing but not seeming as stressed and eating better. I separate them from time to time as Diesel is not at all intimidated by her growling and insists on jumping out at her when she least expects it and she reacts with a swat and he swats back... she's 3 times his size!!

Dixie is nowhere to be seen. My partner is out as I type, looking for her again. Unfortunately, due to a stupid virus I can't leave the house to participate so I watch from the windows....

In my experience it is not uncommon for the new cat to do really well in the new home but the existing cats to have an harder adjustment time. With that said, I am so glad Diesel is doing well.

Great that Lacie is getting a little less stressed and is eating better. Is it "just" growling and hissing and a swat or is there any serious blows that deliver scratches or worse? Typically we want to go through the process slowly and limit access to each other and to gradually allow them to smell each other's scent and eat with that scent and then a visual through a screen etc.

I hope Dixie is found safe. It is a big adjustment for a cat to have a new cat in their home/territory. 

Are you going through the formal introduction process?

Hope you feel better as well and get over your virus. 

Please ask anything anytime. Good luck.

Hi guys

It's just swatting... nothing involving claws...

Unfortunately my partner was unable to locate Dixie but most of the family were put on Dixie watch just so we knew she was safe!

However, last night I was doing some work and I heard a very familiar cry in our garden. I ran to look and sure enough Dixie was sitting there!!

It took a lot of coaxing and some relocating of Diesel to get her on but she came in and stretched out on our bed like she had never been away. Lacie was ecstatic! The two of them curled up and purred all night while we fought for room to sleep around them lol.

She has been coming and going as she pleases but she's in perfectly good health and condition and as much of a madam as usual.

I have kept them entirely separate from Diesel. Dispite his best efforts to mingle. He's a quick one but we're quicker... at the minute! They have been eating in the room next to his and can hear him mewing and scratching but there has been no hissing. When they see him through his window they watch cautiously but walk on.... I will keep them separate for a while. Diesel stays in his room while we are at work anyway, he loves it in there, and the tabbies can come and go as they please all day and night.


I did have Diesel and Lacie eating together a few days ago but don't want to push it as she seems to be the fragile sort...

Thanks for all you helpful comments!! Will keep you informed!

Terrific, thank you for the update.

I am so glad Dixie is back safely.

Just take it slowly and go through the process. Let them associate each other with good things like food. Then do some scent swapping and then some site swapping. Do some visuals then. Just take it slowly so that the resident cats don't fear Diesel.

Hang in there, it can work out.

As always we are hear for you to help with any questions you may have. 

Ok so no further progress to report but I have a question.

Here is a picture of Diesel
Very definitely black and white. But this past week from the back of his head, along his back to the base of his tail and his front legs, the black is going grey...

I don't think it's health related, he's perfectly fine. I'm just wondering if anybody else has seen this happen and does it mean he's changing colour or just growing out the bad damaged fur he had when he arrived??

Wow, Diesel is adorable!! 

I would just give your vet a call and see what they think about the color change, just in case it is something medical.