Cat treats me like prey but is submissive to my boyfriend

We adopted 1-year-old Pika two months ago. She's the sweetest kitten we could ever imagine - well, for the most part. In the past few weeks, she's scared me quite a bit due to her aggression toward me (but not toward my boyfriend).

My boyfriend is home 24/7 in the summer. I work full-time. My boyfriend feeds Pika most of the time, but she almost always stays by my side whenever I'm home. She constantly meows at me for attention. When my boyfriend is alone with Pika, he plays with her occasionally. Pika mostly hangs out on her own although she occasionally meows at my boyfriend and "asks" him to pet her. 

When I get home at night, I spend most of my time working on my computer/reading in bed. At the beginning, I noticed if I sat up with a blanket covering my legs, Pika would hunt the blanket whenever my legs move. I stopped covering my legs later, hoping exposing my legs would tell Pika they are part of me, not her prey. It didn't seem to work. Pika stills hunts them whenever my legs moved. More recently, the situation exacerbated. Even if I don't move my legs, she reaches out her paws at them once in a while. I would get scared and retreat my legs while pushing her to the side. She would come back to me seconds later like nothing ever happened. Even if I sit up while crossing my legs, she would still reach out for my toes. In addition to my legs, she also got interested in my arms. She started reaching out her paws to "test out" my arms recently. I almost felt like she's treating my body as a prey that she can mess with.

I do have playtime with her (three 10-minute sessions every night) but it doesn't seem to solve the problem. What's more frustrating is she only does this to me. If I'm sitting in the bed with my boyfriend, she wouldn't hunt our blankets when we move our legs. She tends to just hang out on her own when I'm with him. She never "hunts" my boyfriend when they're alone in the day.

Why is this happening and how can I change the situation? My boyfriend is a big guy and I'm small and skinny compared to him, but is that the reason? I live in a studio so I'm stuck with Pika whenever I'm home. I love her to death when she's not in the hunting mode, however it terrifies me when she reaches out her paws. To be honest, it doesn't hurt much when she hunts me, but I've been scared of sudden movements since I was young. The thought that she could be jumping at me any moment terrifies me.

She is definitely "hunting" you.  And make no mistake, she is picking up on your fear, and that is making it worse.  Every time you retreat, you enforce her instinct to pounce.    Try this, next time she "hunts" and reaches for you, use one or two fingers to tap her cheek, fairly gently, but not a caress, and say "NO" in a firm voice.  I think maybe she was taken from Mama too young, and hadn't learned her manners properly.  Mama would swat her, and give a growl or other vocalization to let her know that the behavior is unacceptable, so that is what you are going for,  not a hit, just a quick tap.

Mamanyt1953 said:

 
She is definitely "hunting" you.  And make no mistake, she is picking up on your fear, and that is making it worse.  Every time you retreat, you enforce her instinct to pounce.    Try this, next time she "hunts" and reaches for you, use one or two fingers to tap her cheek, fairly gently, but not a caress, and say "NO" in a firm voice.  I think maybe she was taken from Mama too young, and hadn't learned her manners properly.  Mama would swat her, and give a growl or other vocalization to let her know that the behavior is unacceptable, so that is what you are going for,  not a hit, just a quick tap.

Click to expand...

The above sounds like a good solution.

I'd like to throw in my experience as well since I'm here and having similar issues. Mainly because when I try to tap my cat to say no, he latches onto my arm and tears it up because he thinks we're playing so you might experience that.

My cat came to me after living with my boyfriend, who likes to go out and didn't have time for a cat. He was great for my boyfriend (although he was still sick and recovering from his terrible upper respiratory infection from when he was a stray). For me he's a pain. If you look through my threads you'll see my distress over this. But I've narrowed it down to play issues. I play with him all the time. I'm like a cat television, his main entertainment. He loves me and won't even give my boyfriend the time of day when we're both there. He stayed at his apartment for a week while I was on vacation and while he was still nipping, mainly gave in and cuddled with boyfriend because it's the only attention he could get. He has no reason to try to get my boyfriend to play since boyfriend is established as boring and not going to play with him.

So he's realized I'm the play person...and my boyfriend is the cuddle person. And he takes advantage of that. Sounds very similar to your situation.

Let me hasten to add here that this is not "mean" or "vicious" behavior.  ALL cat play is hunt related.  Pound for pound, they are the apex predators in their weight division.  Their instinct to hunt, and to hone hunting behavior during play, is linked to their strong will and drive to survive.  They do with each other as kittens, they do it with random found objects (bits of paper, cat toys, a leaf, anything) and, until they learn that it is not acceptable, they do it with us.  I would also suggest getting a wand toy, such as Da Bird or one of the similar Jackson Galaxy and play with that kitten till she lies down and pants.  After she's played out, feed her.  Exhaust her in safe play, and your legs and toes will thank you.

Sorry I took so long to add this.  I had intended a longer post in the first place, but my own "house demon," Hekitty, decided to climb on top of the refrigerator and knock a roll of foil, a roll of plastic wrap, a cake carrier and two (thankfully plastic) deviled egg plates to the kitchen floor.  I just hit "send," and ran!

Thanks for the advice. I started tapping on her cheek whenever she "hunts" me. She still reaches out her paws, but she became more gentle with them. She kind of stopped extending her nails when she touched me. I hope things will get better soon

I play with her about 30-40 minutes a day, but that doesn't seem to wear her out enough probably due to her young age. I'll engage her in active play more often. She does stay calm for a short period after each play, but not for long.​

We progress.  And if she learns to be gentle, all is good!  Keep us posted on how things are going!  There's always Plan B.  I have no clue what Plan B IS right now, but I know it is out there...somewhere!