New Kitten vs. Older Kitten

Inari | Spayed (13 weeks | 4 months old)
Sebastian | Neutered (11 months)

2 weeks ago, I adopted Inari. I got her to be a companion and play mate for Sebastian. My dogs are older and just didn't want to be bothered with him. Sebastian is 11 months old, but got her when it was 10 months. So yea, he jus had a 'birthday.' So, anyway, during the time, I've been introducing them. Feeding them either side of a closed door and scent swapping. What I am doing is, one cat spends 4 hours roaming the house. Then, they are put away in their own room and I let out the other. Sebastian has a room we call the den and he is able to see Inari out in the living room. At times, she does go to the door.

When feeding, I would close it and then I tried having the door open twice, but there's a problem. Inari will come out, while having the wet food just like Sebastian and go to his plate. I have to put her back in so she can finish her plate, but Sebastian doesn't like it. He backs away from his food and I have to back his plate away from the door so he can finish. After eating, I crack open the door and they are able to see, sniff, and play through the door. They would paw and play through the door and at times, Sebastian or Inari will squeeze through the crack. I have to hold the door knob because Sebastian is so strong, he will push it open and I have to hold it and he pushes hard when no being able to open it with me holding the handle. If Inari leaves her room, or Sebastian slips through, at the sight of my older kitten, Inari rolls onto her side, ears pinned back, tail around herself, and hisses. She swats at Sebastian and he is jus a tad taken back. Just a couple days ago when introducing them, Sebastian has licked her fur, but she is all, in the position I described above and swatting at him.

At times, Sebastian as chased and pounced at her, causing her to squeak. I went in and picked up Sebastian and took him to his room. Inari will also hide from him. When Sebby isn't around, she is a different cat. Confident and running around the living room. When he walks in, all her confidence is done.

I am not sure what to do. Sebastian I think, I think wants to play, but ruff. How do I teach him to play nice? How can I get Inari to not be afraid of him? I want them to be friends.

Welcome to TCS! They're both just adorable - thanks for sharing the pictures! Sounds to me like you're doing a very good job at making gradual introductions. At this point, it's possible to let them show some signs of hostility. As long as the fur isn't flying, it's just part of their way of establishing the hierarchy. Some hissing is acceptable.

The important thing here is to watch your own response (or the response of any other humans in the room). Try to relax and not add stress to the encounter. Do not reprimand any cat for what they're doing and if you must talk to them (best not to) use the most casual voice you can. Avoid staring at them too. Get busy doing something else. 

One technique to try is to have treats with you. Then once they are in the same room but at a distance from one another, throw each a treat. You need to aim well so that the treat doesn't hit the cat or scare her/him and also doesn't bring them too close together. This technique can be a double-edged sword, so if you're not feeling sure about it, don't use it. It can work for some owners and some cats. 

Let us know how they're doing and take it easy - they'll sort out things eventually. There's only so much we can do as owners and sounds to me like you're doing that already.

Ok, thank you.
I will try what you said and see how it goes. I am so scared that Sebastian is hurting her, because when he pounces on Inari, she cries out. I get him off of her and have actually put him on time-out in another room. Is that wrong now?

Another thing, Inari is afraid of my resident cat. At the mere sight of him, she cowers. Ears back, sunk low to the ground, pay raised and swipes at Sebastian. She even hisses. What my other cat is doing it, before he gets close to her, he stares at her. Something ears are forward, to the side and at times flat when he pounces on her. He likes to nip or bite at Inari, especially when she gets herself cornered. I guess, he is provoking her or something.

How do I get Inari to come out of her shell and be a confident kitten she can be around Sebastian. She is confident around me dogs and doesn't fear them. Unfortunately, do I have to give her back because they aren't meshing well? I would hate to do that, but I don't want her to be miserable.

Actually, what you're describing may not necessarily be playfighting. It could be an actual show of aggression on Sebastian's part. What made you think this was play fighting? I wonder if maybe you're picking up on something that doesn't come across in the description.

If these are actual fights then you should keep them separated for a while longer and keep on with the gradual scent-by-scent introduction. Two weeks isn't a long time for introductions (and you have actually brought them together even sooner).

Maybe this can help - 

 [article="32680"]How To Successfully Introduce Cats The Ultimate Guide​[/article]  

My best advice to you is by fallowing the guidelines of cat introductions to a "T"! We adopted a kitten whom was taped in a box with the rest of her litter, double tied with plastic bags and thrown in a dumpster left for dead. When we saw her and her siblings they were very skinny, and our soon to be new family member had a broken tail... I had to take her.. I knew I could give her a forever home..... The point is... When I brought her home to meet my 11 month old female resident cat, the queen be was not happy with the new arrival.. She wouldn't let us pet her or even come near her without her growling.. So I started researching on how to properly introduce them.. It was a month long, and painful process.. But in the end, they became best friends and I almost cry when I see them laying together and grooming each other. It is well worth the wait to do it right. Hope this helps! Also some cats adjust to new friends sooner than others. Jackson Galaxy has a really good YouTube video on cat introductions.

I forgot to add... I bought a kitty condo for the kitten when I the cats were ready to see each other... Worked great! They could still see each other without being able to hurt each other... Eventually they started playing through the mesh net windows.. Resident cat still felt like the house was her territory while also getting used to kitten being in the condo.. Pretty soon she got curious about the kitten instead of feeling threatened.

2 weeks is still a very short period of time! You have to keep in mind that this is Sebastian's territory, and he actually might be intimidating her. If you see him staring at her excessively, that's threatening towards the lil one. I don't think backing up the plates while feeding at the other side of the door is bad, I think Jackson Galaxy (as someone mentioned in the other most) actually does recommend that, and to then put the plates closer and closer together. They need to start associating the smell of eachother with something good! And after two weeks you can't really expect territorial creatures, that cats are, to fully adjust to eachother. As Danidee and Anne said, read through those things carefully and maybe watch a Jackson Galaxy episode or two. He's pretty good at resolving issues between cats.

Good luck, have patience, and your kitties are absolutely adorable! 

(As I am typing this, both cats are out)

I've read through everyone advise and will type this, but I've taken all what you have typed to heart.

As I am typing this, Inari is in the cat tree and Sebastian is on the floor a couple of distances from the tree. He is staring at her though, watching her(well watching me for taking a pic.)

Right now, Inari is chilling on the tree and he is staring at her. It's like, he doesn't want her there. Anyway, Sebastian is always stalking Inari and I can tell Inari fears him at times. Now, I am confused because I don't know if things are going good or bad. I shall list them below.
#1
When I bring Inari out of her room(the bathroom) Sebastian is usually right there. Like today and yesterday, I let her out and Sebastian is licking her a couple of times and Inari kinda brushes into him.
Next thing I look up, he is chasing her and pinning her, making her squeak and will not get up until I break it up.
#2
Inari will find next to something, watching him, shaking her butt, getting ready to run and pounce on him. Other times, she will get under him and roll onto her back, pawing at him, nipping.
Next thing, she is scared of Sebastian, which is understandable. Like, one moment she gets bursts of courage and then it's gone and there is fear.

These two are giving me some serious mixed signals here. I have no idea what to do! I'm so confused!! I've had Inari for 3, nearly 4 weeks now. Do I need to back up all the way and start from scratch?
(Sebastian was starting to go to sleep I front of the dog bed, but no anymore because my mom came home. Inari got down from the cat tree and Sebby began to nip at her.)

Also, I think Sebastian might be rather possessive of the cat tree he barely uses and the kitty tunnel. Would it be better to get another tree and kitty tunnel? He can't own them both and try to control them at the same time, right?

Forgot to add this, it's like he sees her as prey. Always stalking her and getting into a crouching position, getting ready to pounce in his 'prey.'

An progress?
I am having similar problems with my two. One is a 14 week old spayed female and the other 11-12 week old unneutered boy who is at least a pound heavier. He will stalk the female and pounce and try to bite her neck. There's some growling and hissing involved.
I messed up the introductions but they are both constantly trying to bolt from their rooms and engage each other.
I hope it's worked out for you and both cats are now getting along.

I don't know really...
Sebastian keeps pouncing on her and being very rough. It's at the point that Inari fears him. Her ears will go and at times, she will hide and will for a couple of minutes. She runs from him and they can't even be a couple of inches between them.
I don't know what to do now... I believe they are back tracking.

Sebastian is now a year old and Inari is 5 months old.

Sorry to hear this. Hopefully Sebastian is just playfully aggressive instead of purposefully attacking Inari. Are both of them fixed?

Yea, they both have been fixed since they were 8 and 10 weeks old.

danideesaint said:

My best advice to you is by fallowing the guidelines of cat introductions to a "T"! We adopted a kitten whom was taped in a box with the rest of her litter, double tied with plastic bags and thrown in a dumpster left for dead. When we saw her and her siblings they were very skinny, and our soon to be new family member had a broken tail... I had to take her.. I knew I could give her a forever home..... The point is... When I brought her home to meet my 11 month old female resident cat, the queen be was not happy with the new arrival.. She wouldn't let us pet her or even come near her without her growling.. So I started researching on how to properly introduce them.. It was a month long, and painful process.. But in the end, they became best friends and I almost cry when I see them laying together and grooming each other. It is well worth the wait to do it right. Hope this helps! Also some cats adjust to new friends sooner than others. Jackson Galaxy has a really good YouTube video on cat introductions.

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OMG this is absolutely disgusting!  What the hell is wrong with people?  Throwing them in the dumpster is bad enough but making sure they couldn't get out and make an attempt at survival?  I feel nauseous.  I hate the human race more and more all the time.