I still can't believe he's GONE! :'(

I had a cat named Bunny- he was such a good kitty. He was half Siamese and half domestic short hair. But his coloring was all white with a tiny grey patch on the top of his head . I sometimes still blame myself for his death. When I got him I lived in a condo - so it was impossible for him to get outside. And he was the type of kitty that ALWAYS wanted out!
So a few years later I happened to move into a regular one family house, and as HARD as i tried to keep him inside he would always find a way out. He started to learn how to open screen doors and windows and pushing stuff open.
One weekend I had a friend of mine staying over and she left a window open not realizing or remembering my strict instructions about making sure everything stayed closed so Bunny wouldn't get out. She was so nonchalant about it and brushed off my requests bc she had outdoor cats of her own that always make it back home.
But I knew that I didn't want my Bunny getting outside because he was never an outdoor cat nor did I want him to be.
But unfortunately one fall night Bunny got out the window my friend left open- he was gone for a day and eventually came back home to die. [emoji]128549[/emoji]
While he was outside he got into some kind of poison that killed him. I rushed and took him to the vet because he was howling and crying when he finally made it back home - they took blood samples and they told me his levels in his blood showed that he was having organ failure that most likely had to do with him getting into something that poisoned his system and there was nothing they could do about it. I had to say goodbye to him right then and there.
It was one of the most devastating things I've ever had to deal with- he was having seizures and biting his paws until they bled. I could never forgive myself for what happened and I definatly could never forgive my friend either - we aren't friends anymore --
He was only 5 yrs old. I miss him everyday . RIP Bunny [emoji]10084[/emoji]️

I am very sorry for your loss. Your love for Bunny shows in your beautiful tribute. Bunny was a beautiful kitty. He knows how much you love him and will always live on in a special place in your heart. Our babies always take a piece of us with them when they leave. Hugs to you during this very difficult time.

kittygirl321 said:

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• kittygirl321
• Jul 21, 2016

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It took me a few minutes to understand why your post hit me so deeply.

I took my Kitten to a vet who overdosed her and is the most likely cause of her death. I understand that cloud of anger that is surrounding your ability to grieve.

Self blame and the burning anger at someone who caused the death. It's a hard set of emotions to get through. I don't think we will ever have any real closure over what happened to Kitten or forgive the vet who caused it and left us , like your friend left you to deal with the consequences of their actions.

What we can do is remember why we loved our cats so dearly. I am so sorry for your loss. It was unfair and obviously unnecessary. I offer you my deepest sympathy and understanding. I know it seems like it never will but time will let you heal if you give it a chance. You will always carry some anger and bitterness but I really advise you start to share about the wonderful times with Bunny so that his legacy is more than those last hours.

I validate your right to be angry. I validate your right to end a friendship where there seems to have been such a disconnect of values. What you don't want to do is lose the love you had for Bunny in all that.

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's always hard to say goodbye but especially hard when they get taken too soon. Bunny knew he was loved more than anything and he'll always be with you. He's beautiful.

Please don't feel guilt over something you had no control over. It was a tragic accident, and yes, your friend should definitely been more responsible and will carry the burden of bringing you such sorrow. My heart goes out to you. witnessing your sweet little Bunny going through such agony, I pray that you can try to not dwell on that end and use your precious memories of happier times to comfort you. You tried so hard to keep that little boy safe, sometimes things like this happen despite our doing our best, you truly have nothing to regret. But you have suffered a great loss and the emptiness in your heart and home takes a long time to subside. Time is the only thing that helps to soften the sharp edges of grief. You loved that little boy and that is all he ever wanted. He is at peace knowing the bond you forged between the two of you will be forever strong, use it to comfort yourself and call on him to heal your broken heart. We cannot change the past no matter how much we would want to, it does no good to go over all those what ifs and should haves. except to bring us heartache. Your boy would never want you to be so sad when thinking of him,  we must go on and hold on to all the good they brought into our lives, knowing they were with us for a reason and the love we have for them will never stop existing, we will have that love in our hearts for the rest of our lives. Hopefully you will grow stronger from your grief, don't let it control your life. Your sweet boy wants only the best for you, the one he loved above all. He left you a legacy of love. pass it on to another little soul, or use it to do good in his name. In this way you honor him and keep him alive and present in your life. I'll pray for you both, I'm so sorry your loved one had to suffer such pain and that you have to now suffer because of that pain, my heart cries for what you are going through, I want you to know I understand and that you are not alone in your grief. Take care.......RIP sweet Bunny, you brought such joy to the one who loves you so much, let the bright light that is your star bring comfort to the heart of the one who will hold you forever in a loving heart!  

Thank you everyone for your sympathetic thoughts and kindness. Every single one of your posts brought tears to my eyes and it made me feel better. It's still sometimes so hard to grasp the reality of what happened. I appreciate everyone's support! Thanks for listening.
PS- my ex ' friend' refused to take responsibility for her actions and told me that Bunny was sick before that incident! Which is a complete lie! That's what makes me so mad is that she won't even admit her wrongdoing.

kittygirl321 said:

Thank you everyone for your sympathetic thoughts and kindness. Every single one of your posts brought tears to my eyes and it made me feel better. It's still sometimes so hard to grasp the reality of what happened. I appreciate everyone's support! Thanks for listening.
PS- my ex ' friend' refused to take responsibility for her actions and told me that Bunny was sick before that incident! Which is a complete lie! That's what makes me so mad is that she won't even admit her wrongdoing.

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When you can find a way to stop blaming yourself you'll be able to see both your cat and you were victims.

We took our vet to court. In the last floundering's of her testimony she tried to make it seem the only way to save Kitten was to overdose her. Even though less than a half hour before she claimed to have never heard of the adverse effects of the drug.  Your friend is doing the same thing. Blame shifting. It's very important you not let her words have value to you. Again I know it's hard but you have to focus on Bunny's life not those horrible last moments. They stick like glue in our brains. Not only do we lose a beloved pet we are forced to do so because we're cleaning up the mess left by a thoughtless human being.

Your friends power is to make you feel responsible in some way so she can be the innocent. In fact she'll manage to become the victim if you let her run your emotions.  The truth has a way of coming out. When it does she will own not only the mishap but the lies to cover her backside. You really have to do nothing but wait.  No matter how unfair this all is Bunny is not suffering. You are. It's very important that your grieve for your cat and not let the anger do even more damage to your life.

Your former friend is now an ex-friend because of her actions and bad decisions. You are never going to change what this person thinks of her actions. Anger is part of grieving and just something we all have to figure out how to work through in our own way. I just want you to know and understand that you did nothing to cause your baby's death. The opposite is the truth you did everything you could to save her life. Sometimes there is just nothing else you can do to change the outcome. I really hope that in time you are able to move past the anger and blame and remember all the great memories you shared together. We are all here to support you as you grieve.

I am so sorry for your loss Bunny was a beautiful kitty 

Thanks everyone ! everyone's posts brought tears to my eyes again, I don't think I'm over it yet, even though this happened in October of 2014, it still feels like yesterday.
I still feel that if I hadn't moved no of this would've ever happened. [emoji]128560[/emoji]
He(bunny) trusted me with his life and for me to take care of him and I failed MISERABLY. And I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for that, at least for the time being.
Thanks again everyone.

Me and my Bunny .. May he RIP

Sorry for your loss.
Take care v
[emoji]128519[/emoji]

I'm so sorry for your loss of Bunny.  He looked like such a sweet kitty.  I hate how things happened.  Hope your ex-friend (if she ever was one) meets up with karma real soon.  

For Bunny   who will be loved forever 

What a beautiful picture. I promise you that no matter how awful the end was Bunny is not in any pain wherever he is.  I hope you have that picture in a frame to remind you he was more than the awful ending imprinted in your brain.

My condolences on your loss of Bunny.

Thanks everyone! It really means a lot to me. [emoji]128149[/emoji]

That was horrible, I am so sorry that you had to witness that and Bunny had to endure it. You specifically instructed your now ex-friend to not leave any windows open, she did, he went outside as some cats will do and now he is gone, and in such a traumatic way, my heart breaks for you. I know how traumatic things like this can be as in late November Sebastian (who was sick) was caught in a mini blind, sitting on the chair under it, cried when I came home and saw him, and died in my arms when I got him free; things like this change you forever, and it will take a long time to come to terms with it, but it does get better, don't blame yourself for his death, it was an accident, your friend should have known better as it was preventable but for some reason sometimes these awful things just happen. We can grieve and try to deal with it the best way that we can, and time and love and support can help tremendously.A week ago tomorrow we lost 8 year-old Skipper, started crying the day before, took him to the vet, didn't find anything obviously wrong, and the next day we came home and found him dead, just horrible, 8 months after Sebastian passed. You never know what life will throw at you....

And like the saying goes, "sometimes one leaves to make room for another", perhaps one will come your way that needs your help and love.

I hope your heart heals, I certainly do understand how you feel.

Les26 said:

That was horrible, I am so sorry that you had to witness that and Bunny had to endure it. You specifically instructed your now ex-friend to not leave any windows open, she did, he went outside as some cats will do and now he is gone, and in such a traumatic way, my heart breaks for you. I know how traumatic things like this can be as in late November Sebastian (who was sick) was caught in a mini blind, sitting on the chair under it, cried when I came home and saw him, and died in my arms when I got him free; things like this change you forever, and it will take a long time to come to terms with it, but it does get better, don't blame yourself for his death, it was an accident, your friend should have known better as it was preventable but for some reason sometimes these awful things just happen. We can grieve and try to deal with it the best way that we can, and time and love and support can help tremendously.A week ago tomorrow we lost 8 year-old Skipper, started crying the day before, took him to the vet, didn't find anything obviously wrong, and the next day we came home and found him dead, just horrible, 8 months after Sebastian passed. You never know what life will throw at you....

And like the saying goes, "sometimes one leaves to make room for another", perhaps one will come your way that needs your help and love.

I hope your heart heals, I certainly do understand how you feel.

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I really appreciate your input. It's just that sometimes those horrific flashbacks of seeing bunny dying on me in the worst way you could possibly imagine. The image of him having terrible seizures and biting his paws until they were bleeding profusely has been etched in my mind forever. It wasn't fair, it wasn't his time- but I know that things happen and we have to deal with it.
Since then I've got another addition (NOT a replacement) she's about to turn 2 next month.
There is something my dad told me while I was going through that agonizing time - he said animals life span aren't as long as a humans. So you have to always remember that your pets will most likely go before you, it's just a part of life aka Mother Nature. And if you aren't strong enough to accept that then don't have any pets, because you will go through the pain when their time comes. And somehow when he said that to me it clicked and really helped me get through things.
I will always love that kitty and never forget him and the 5 short years he blessed me with.