At what point do you agree to disagree?

I'm not sure if this is better in IMO, but we'll give it a whirl in here first and then move it if need be.

Right now Facebook and the Internet in general are full of debates - presidential election, gun laws, shooting, Brexit, etc. It's not just limited to the internet though. In real life family and friends are divided with some very hurt feelings on all sides.

At what point do you step back and agree to disagree? It's easy on the Internet to debate a random person to death, but what if it is someone you consider a friend, even though you may have never met them in real life? What if it is a real life friend?

I am one that will walk away from the argument with a friend in most cases. :nod: I have different political views than plenty of friends and family. I try to avoid heated discussions and don't post things of that nature on my Facebook wall. I've seen way too many friendships break up over foolish things that have been said in the middle of a debate. In most cases it isn't worth it to me.

I agree. I have so many different views and I just ignore the hateful comments. I have two very close friends on my wall. I posted about something last week about the protests and these two men are opposite sides of spectrum. They argued for an hour. I left it because I want to see other viewpoints. I am siding with my friend who has traveled the world. He brought up some interesting facts that I didn't know. Meanwhile my other friend was just so angry.

I just don't get involved. I read and comment but I don't let it bother me. My dad is diehard republican and the rest of us are opposite. I don't belong in any group because  I am middle road on both sides. So yes it gets disgusting how people can be disrespectful. Never seen so many so called Christians swear and use the F word in my life!

Yes without social media I am much happier not seeing the hate and junk.I have always been able to agree to disagree-its the other people. They will continue arguing with me then say hateful things. I give them the eyeroll.

I just un-friended my SIL because I couldn't deal with all the hateful rhetoric. She was really getting ugly and I couldn't deal with it any longer. My sister, my niece, and her husband decided to un-follow her because they couldn't deal with it anymore. Instead of un-following, I just unfriended. She's being downright ridiculous and it was easier than having to sit on my hands every time I got on FB. Anti-refugee, all the pet cruelty situations, all the anti-Obama stuff, all the anti-government stuff. She doesn't work, she's on disability, so she has all day to post one thing after another. I can't read it anymore and there's so much of it that I can't just skim through it all.

I know it's stupid on my part, but when I go on FB, it's to try to forget all the ugliness that I'm seeing on the news and in the newspapers and listening to at work. I need to forget about it for a little while. And all I saw from her was just more of the same depressing ugliness. For a while, I couldn't help myself and I'd try to argue with her, to try to make her understand the other side, that it's not all bad....there are good things out there, too. You know what? You can't. You just can't. She's certainly entitled to her feelings and her opinions.....OTOH, I'm entitled to not have to see everything plastered there day in and day out. 

In return, she blocked me. So much the better.

I just read an article that, with this election, people are really getting ugly and it's going to be a horrible next few months. I dread the whole thing.

Well now you don't have to deal with her foolishness. I almost blocked my father. He sounds just like your SIL. He hates Obama and puts up the hateful crap.

I have unfriended some of the overzealous Christian people. I just don't understand why can't I live my life the way I want? I am an adult, I work. So therefore I should be able to make my own decisions without a swarm of women coming down on my head bullying me because I refuse to get married. If that's the worse thing I ever do in my life? whatever. And all the other bs.

I stick to cat pages. Andy Needs Help, Morton For President, Hemi the CH kitty, cat crazy corner or something like this,.cat lane is another one. I just ignore the BS.

Its ok Winchester. I would be hurt too. I unfriended this chick I met through Katniss the kitten because she kept bugging me for money to help her free cats from kill shelters. Then posts 40 shares an hour-I unfollowed her and STILLL it wouldn't stop so I unfriended her. Problem solved.

There was a vicious young woman on my list who get pregnant and would rant about the babies father how he is a pos etc. I just shake my head and said to her once-why did you have a kid with him if he is so mean? I got blasted..UNFRIEND!  I can't deal with disrespect. If he sucks then move on and stop talking about that looser already!!

This is one of the many reasons why I am NOT on FB and never will be. I call it FAKEbook. People pick fights with each other over the most ridiculous things. The whole concept to me is ridiculous anyway. "Friending" people that they don't know because someone they know knows them or because they knew them decades ago in grammar school or whatever is stupid. Most people do this just so they can say that they X amount of friends on FB. My DH passed away almost 5 years ago. Despite all the RIP notes on his page and the fact that he obviously has not posted since, he has 17 new "friend" requests. Yeah, he'll get right on that I'm sure. 

Anyway, when to agree to disagree? How much does the person mean to you? if it's someone you actually care about and the subject is something that you will NEVER agree about, just avoid it. This will save time and possible hurt feelings. You have to ask yourself if it's worth it. You have to choose your battles in life. Is this one that is worth fighting.

I don't discus politics with anyone I care about because it is NOT worth it. I have my opinion, you have yours and the chances that either of us will change the other's mind are slim to none and old Slim is on life support right now. His chances of making aren't good. Do I still like you? Yes. Do we have LOTS of other things we can talk about? YES. Then let's just do that. 

If it's someone I don't care about, I might offer my opinion but I might not because I probably don't care what they think. 

It is better not to discuss politics. People already know who they are going to vote for. I do and nothing anybody can say would change my mind. So why go there. I walk away from heated discussions and stay away from social media. The Cat Site is the only place where I post anything publicly and for the most part, I stay out of the IMO forum. :lol3:

I'm not sure that debate gets us anywhere, unless it is done specifically by the participants to see the other person's point of view and that is so rare.

I used to be really active politically.  Then I realised that it was much better to put my energy more fully into relaxation/meditation.  People aren't going to take anyone's ideas on board when they have a closed mind.  But if we work with our minds so that we don't react to having our buttons pushed, then maybe we can see the other person's point of view and work with that.  Or at least not just rip into them!

I have pretty strong views about many things, but I find a meditative mind works a lot better as a mechanism for creating change.

So I guess I'd say that if something does press my buttons I try to walk away, take time to breath and clear the head, and then if I still feel something needs to be said, I will hopefully respond from a place of respect.

I ignore a lot of the stuff on FB.  it helps if you actually know the person.  One of the 'kids' I had in my cub scout den posted something about if you support cops after blah blah then unfriend me don't post any pro-cop stuff.  I know he's 20  or 21 and very naive.  Personally I think being a cop is one of the hardest jobs out there.  I would love it if you could blocks subjects and not people.  Too many of my 'friends' post religious stuff (not my actual word) all the time.   I like them but give it a rest already - stick with the dog pictures.

When we had our primary election DH didn't bother to vote since they had him listed as an independent.  There were some local items on it to vote for and one was to clean the bay.  It passed, he was surprised people voted to spend the money.  I didn't tell him I voted for it. It's none of his business, just like I didn't mention many of the other things I've voted for that he thinks are a waste of money or will raise out taxes.  That's why I have my own vote and why it's confidential.

Well, this kind of stuff at least alerts you to whether your friends or family members are raging racists (or whatever flavor of hate they prefer). Which is possibly something you didn't want to know but it's better to find out sooner than later :/.

I am about to unfriend a cousin because of all the nastiness and hatred and belief of the lies being spread.  Usually I ignore but I did cave in and make some mild comment on something that was utterly ridiculous, and then the other cousin got involved. So I'm done with that.  Honestly, I just want to watch cute cat videos on FB, and my time on there is usually limited to however long it takes me to scroll down my wall (or whatever it's called that comes up when you log into facebook). 

Kat0121 said:

Anyway, when to agree to disagree? How much does the person mean to you? if it's someone you actually care about and the subject is something that you will NEVER agree about, just avoid it. This will save time and possible hurt feelings. You have to ask yourself if it's worth it. You have to choose your battles in life. Is this one that is worth fighting.

I don't discus politics with anyone I care about because it is NOT worth it. I have my opinion, you have yours and the chances that either of us will change the other's mind are slim to none and old Slim is on life support right now. His chances of making aren't good. Do I still like you? Yes. Do we have LOTS of other things we can talk about? YES. Then let's just do that. 

If it's someone I don't care about, I might offer my opinion but I might not because I probably don't care what they think. 

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I don't discuss politics or religion with friends, family and especially coworkers.  It's not worth the hurt feelings with people you disagree with and what is the point with people you generally agree with.  Coworkers can make for a bad situation at work and could, if things get to the point of not being able to work together, endanger jobs.

I never really got into Facebook.  I know some people are really into it.  I tried to log on again after several months and I can't login now.  I even have an old email on my acct there so I can't do anything with it, I really am not too torn up about it.

I pretty much stopped responding to friends on social media when it's about politics, religion, etc.  I also try not to with strangers online either. 

I've blocked a couple of people who were long time friends after seeing them post racist commentary.  

At work in general we all as a group do not get into those types of discussions.

We have a handful of guys who purposely get people's goat and won't shut up. I found that if I smile and nod my head-they go on their way. I see lots of stupidity on facebook by my coworkers who believe the garbage other people post. Yes I often wondered how this would affect friendships. We all just talk about our pets/children/hobbies and ignore the elephant in the room. I have met some lovely muslim folks who I can never imagine them doing any of the garbage others have done. I even asked one of them privately what they thought and they are from Egypt and he says he came here so his family can be safe and not worry about someone murdering his family simply because he doesn't believe like they do. This struck me to the core. These are people just like us who have every right to live in a safe world without harassment. I don't understand this bulldog thing with these people. In the end each person wants the same things-safe place to live=freedom to live their lives without busybodies endangering their jobs or lives for that matter.

Stick to the cat sites or other non flame sites.

The people at work who are ignorant we all ignore or walk away when they start on their tyriad about whatever the flavor of the month is.

Misinformation has become a real issue.  That aside someone's opinion is often based on their own economic status, education , religion and possibly most important their own personal experiences.  I seldom debate politics or religion anymore.  Within family its a minefield.

I moderated on a political board. There is a nastiness in the US I no longer wish to deal with.

Kat0121 said:

This is one of the many reasons why I am NOT on FB and never will be. I call it FAKEbook. People pick fights with each other over the most ridiculous things. The whole concept to me is ridiculous anyway. "Friending" people that they don't know because someone they know knows them or because they knew them decades ago in grammar school or whatever is stupid. Most people do this just so they can say that they X amount of friends on FB. My DH passed away almost 5 years ago. Despite all the RIP notes on his page and the fact that he obviously has not posted since, he has 17 new "friend" requests. Yeah, he'll get right on that I'm sure. :rolleyes2

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I completely understand what you are saying about Facebook, but I've managed to reconnect with a lot of my cousins on it. My father was one of 13 children so I have so many cousins that I never see. Having said that, there has been so much hate on there recently that I have been thinking about taking a Facebook break. :nod:

I have really lost the will to engage in sustained arguments where both sides simply spew the same facts/personal opinion over and over.  It is so easy to find confrontation on any forum that allows comments.

I have a FB page that I started to put up information about Kitten who was blinded by an overdose of antibiotic and then died of liver failure. The vet who caused this has no right to privacy and potential customers have a right to be warned. I don't need a massive number of followers. It simply allows the information to show up in any FB search for her clinic. I am connected to a few dear friends through FB.

AbbysMom said:

I completely understand what you are saying about Facebook, but I've managed to reconnect with a lot of my cousins on it. My father was one of 13 children so I have so many cousins that I never see. Having said that, there has been so much hate on there recently that I have been thinking about taking a Facebook break.

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I take breaks periodically. 

Hiding all the problem people has helped me a lot. Last time I think it was nearly a year. 

I also don't have the app on my phone, haven't for years.  It stressed me out way too much.

AbbysMom said:

 

Kat0121 said:

This is one of the many reasons why I am NOT on FB and never will be. I call it FAKEbook. People pick fights with each other over the most ridiculous things. The whole concept to me is ridiculous anyway. "Friending" people that they don't know because someone they know knows them or because they knew them decades ago in grammar school or whatever is stupid. Most people do this just so they can say that they X amount of friends on FB. My DH passed away almost 5 years ago. Despite all the RIP notes on his page and the fact that he obviously has not posted since, he has 17 new "friend" requests. Yeah, he'll get right on that I'm sure. 

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I completely understand what you are saying about Facebook, but I've managed to reconnect with a lot of my cousins on it. My father was one of 13 children so I have so many cousins that I never see. Having said that, there has been so much hate on there recently that I have been thinking about taking a Facebook break.

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I use FB to stay connected with people I've met while traveling.  We share travel stories and photos.  And I also stay in touch with relatives in other states, sharing family photos, etc.  It has its uses.  But I, too, have been 'unfollowing' several people lately.  The negativity gets crazy.

I love Facebook. I get to keep on top of my family without phone calls and they can keep dibs on me.

I have met some fantastic folks on Facebook. Plus all the weight lifting photos I can find. I really enjoy the cats and cat parents. In fact I have a few I need to catch up on. Its a great way to help raise awareness to spay/neuter.

I too hide those who are getting ridiculous. Some I have unfriended. Some unfriended me. Its all good. I am not going to sweat fakebook!