Struggling with decision

I happened to come across this from a link in another thread. This was very beautifully written and it brings me some peace, however I'm really struggling right now. My wonderful cat Buddy was diagnosed with some type of Neoplasia yesterday. The diagnosis really came out of nowhere.  My vet said if we are able to manage his symptoms with medication, keep him eating and feeling ok then it may be about one month. She said if he doesn't respond to the medications we'll know pretty soon and when I bring him in on Wednesday for a follow up we may have to discuss his quality of life, which is just a sugar coated way of saying I'm going to have to make a decision and it's going to be soon.

Buddy was originally my grandmother's companion, she got him from an agency that provides cats to seniors and I know he had one owner before that as well. My grandma had him for about two years. When she had to move from independent living to assisted living she wasn't allowed to bring any pets so I offered to take him in and care for him. That was 7 years ago. My grandma passed away 3 years ago and he's all I have left of her. 

I know I gave him the best life I possibly could, but right now knowing that doesn't make any of this hurt any less. The moment is coming and when it does I know I'll make the choice to end his pain, but just knowing that it's coming is shattering my heart into a million pieces. 

No matter how many cats or other furry companions you have it's never an easy decision to make.  They give us unconditional love and we treasure them with all our heart.  I can't take your pain away but please know that when the time comes you will be able to help alleviate the pain for Buddy.  Not that long ago we lost our cat Neely to cancer so I understand what you are going through and am sending you special thoughts to get through this difficult time.  Thinking of you.

I know this is a really tough time in your life, it's always nice to have people who support you and know what you are going through. You have to be the strong one here, if your little one is struggling, is in pain and the quality of life has deteriorated to just existing, it is time to give peace. Only you will know when, you don't want to wait until it becomes unending pain and fear. This is not something that will improve, and no matter how much we prepare ourselves for the inevitable, we will still be filled with pain and grief when the end does come. Your sweet Buddy will hold on to your love, he will use it to comfort himself and know that his life had meaning in this world and that someone will remember him always and hold him tenderly in a loving heart. That is all he ever wanted. You will be blessed for taking him in and giving him your heart, he needed you so desperately and you were there for him.  Try to celebrate having him in your life, it is so much richer for having him there. The bond you have formed can never be taken from you, use it to pour out your grief and he will be there for you.  He is going to be with your grandmother, and they will both send their love and comfort in your time of grief. The reunion will be a joyful one, the angels will be rejoicing.

I will never understand why life has to change, and loved ones have to leave us, but somehow we go on and pray that we have someone in our life that loves us as much as we loved those who have left us when our time comes.Life is short, use it wisely and to love all we can.  Don't hold darkness and sadness in the same heart that holds your loved one, fill it once more with sunshine and happiness, it is as they would want for the one they love so much.   Take care and know we are here for you, I'll pray for you and Buddy, my heart breaks for what you are going through. 

 I am sorry that you and your kitty are having to go through this; our kitties are important members of our families. It make is more difficult when they are a living connection loved family member. Give Buddy all the love your can, tell him how much he means to you and how much you love him and will always love him. 

You and buddy are in my thoughts

It is a heartbreaking decision to make, but know that you have at least a hundred hands that have been through it right here holding your hand. 

I hardly know the words to write. I am truly sorry that you are having to face this difficult decision. It is a hard one to make, and a very personal choice. Only you can really decide , along with Buddy, when it is time. For now, just spoil him and love him. Spend lots of time with him, give him hugs, tell him how much you love and will miss him. Just know that when the time comes, he will be reunited with your grandmother. She will look after him once again, and they will both keep watch over you. Please take care of both Buddy and yourself. Let us know how Buddy is doing. I do hope you have some more time together.