He's stashing sweets!

I just went out to hubby's truck to get my glass case. It had fallen on the floor of the truck, so when I bent down to retreive it, I saw underneath his seat 2 huge bags of M&M Peanuts! I was so ticked (he is borderline diabetic) Then as I raised up with the bags in my hand, I noticed three more bags of candy in the trash can of the truck (unopened) ........sigh.....I am so angry, I know that one day I am going to have to call all five kids and tell them their father died of something he could have prevented!!


Thanks for listening, it is an old fight between he and I and not one that I want to take up right now with him.

AWWWW....I'm sorry Hissy. Why people do not take the advice that can extend their lives is beyond me (look at me talking...I got ZERO exercize today and I'll probably get ZERO exercize tomorrow).

Katie

That's so scary for you, knowing he isn't taking proper care of himself. Some people are so detached from their bodies needs and don't realize the full consequences of their actions.
Does he take the vitamin that helps with the blood sugar balance? I can't for the life of me think of the name right now, but I'll look it up if you'd like, if you don't know which it is. Hang in there.

If I was you, I'd take the candy and bring it inside and hide it, but not mention that you touched it or even knew about it. Then when he wants is it wont be there and he'll know you knew and feel bad. OR he might confront you and be mad that you took his candy, but if that happens remind him that it's for his health and that if he loves you he should take better care of himself because diabetes can be serious. I dont blame you though I'd be mad too if it was me that found the candy!

It won't work. This is why they call Diabetes the silent killer- the people who have it, don't feel sick, don't look sick therefore they are not sick. He tunes me out, and hiding his candy won't work. I will confront him tomorrow morning when my head is cooler than it is right now. Besides, I won't lie to him that's not what our relationship is all about.

hissy:

It's sad that it has to be that way, but I'm sure he cant help it, unless he really wants to. I cant image going without candy. My uncle(lives nextdoor) is Diabetic, so although I understand about diabetes I still cant imagine having it! It was just an idea...I didnt know if it would work or not. It's just guilt can work sometimes in that sort of situation...sometimes its the only way to get through to someone you care about. It's really great that you two are honest with each other, but it's not honest of him to have the candy hidden from you. Maybe he doesnt realize how much this hurts you??

MA, I don't know much about diabetes or borderline diabetes but perhaps there is a compromise. Could you and Mike have one night a week, for example, where you have a little chocolate or some sweets together. That way, there's no need to hide and Mike can look forward to having the sweets that he craves but in moderation. I know a few couples that do this and it works well. It's kind of a reward for being good throughout the week that you can share.

I'm sorry to hear this Mary Anne.

Please stay calm when you do speak to him. Tell him your fears and your concern. My grandfather was borderline diabetic for many years but he never listened to anyone. Every discussion that was ever held turned into a yelling match.

He is now diabetic and requiring daily medication. He has Type II Diabetes. I keep thinking that maybe if things were discussed calmly that he may have listened or saw some reasoning and that the family wasn't trying to stop him from having treats all together. *sigh*

It's also a lifestyle change that is required. I guess one of the failing points with men is that with all the macho stuff out there, it's difficult to admit that there is a problem.

Maryanne, that's sad that you had to find them. I hope when you talk to Mike he realises that your only doing what's best for him! Good luck.

MA I am sorry to hear about this. My Mom is the same way, she spent a week in ICU for diabetes and still doesn't think she has it. I have to get onto her all of the time about the sweets and not taking care of herself. I am like you it is an old, on-going fight with her just as you have with Mike. I wish that we both have some way of reaching them, Mom is so hard-headed

I hear you hissy, My mom and dad have fights all the time about him smoking. It will kill him, it killed his father, it killed his father's father. Both of them were on oxegen, but he won't hear it, he still puffs away.
Same thing with my hubby. He drinks TWO 2 liter bottles of soda a day! All that sugar and caffine is not good for him, he won't stop.
I hope you hubby comes to his sences before it is too late.
What I do is stick little notes on the frige that say remember to drink water.
Maybe you could stick a note on his visor that says "Your all ready sweet enough! Please watch your sugar." Cheesey but cute, and more of a friendly reminder then "nagging" (as my hubby says). I know some times I do STUPID stuff like last night I had ice cream, after I had had pasta for dinner. When ever I do that I get server stomach pain, but stupid me didn't think and did it!

I have tried being passive- passive-aggressive-loving- you name the emotion, I have been there. I used to work in health care, I took care of a diabetic woman for years. I still remember Marie begging me to be sure and if I ever got this disease to wipe between my toes after a shower to be sure the water doesn't stay there. She had most of her toes amputated, and then her leg. Mike has that cruddy stuff between his toes now, and even though I have told him what it means and asked him to be diligent about just this one issue, he blows me off. One year I had a funeral director come to the house and we talked (the three of us) about funerals and caskets- it was done for shock value to get through to him, and afterwards it shook him up enough he did drop some weight. But it came right back on later because he sneaks sweets. I told his kids about this thinking they could help turn him, but no, he just gets stubborn. His daughter has already told me that she knows her Daddy will die of this one day because he won't take care of himself.

It is just so frustrating, because he is a wonderful man- but in this he is in denial. He throws away any literature he gets in the mail on the subject, won't talk about it, just becomes a storm cloud when I bring the subject up. Sounds like he is not alone in that department- sounds like other diabetics are also in this denial room.

Thanks for listening-

Diabetes has many terrible side effects, if untreated, but he probably won't listen to you. Ask your Dr. to speak with him and point out some things that can happen with untreated diabetes i.e. amputation because diabetes destroys circulation, it is also a leading cause of blindness. The unpleasantness of insulin injections every day or several times a day. People don't believe these things happen, especially to them, but they will. See if his Dr. will talk with him and good luck.

Thanks Bailey- but the doc has also tried. Written across the top of hubby's chart at the clinic is this

Non Compliant Patient!

Thanks for letting me spew. I will work this out and am much calmer about it now. I went out and threw the candy down the garbage disposal this morning. If he doesn't like it- tough!

The saddest thing is that unless a person really wants help, there isn't a damn thing that anyone else on the planet can do about it. I'd take the unopened candy, throw it away, and not say a word. Is it worth the argument when you already know the outcome? I do like the idea of having a sweet treat night. Maybe Mike will be open to this suggestion. Have you thought about buying him diabetic candy to snack on?

We went through this, for years, with my mom. Not only is she diabetic but, she has a horrible cholesterol problem. Her triglycerides got up to nearly 6000 (normal is around 150) and didn't drop below 1000 until after her first heart attack and angioplasty.

Two months after the angio, she had another heart attack, double bypass AND a stroke.

If Mike's anything like Mom, he's not going to take care of himself until something catastrophic happens. Even now, if Mom could get out of the house alone, she'd head right to Burger King, for a Whopper and then to Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory, for 1/2 lb of fudge.

The once-a-week treat idea is a good one. Years ago, I was on an 800-calorie-a-day diet and was allowed one rich, gooey dessert per week. That way, I didn't feel so deprived and stayed on the diet. I lost 40 lbs in two months, that way.

Would you guys be upset with me if I posted from a totally different view here? I am a Type 2 diabetic myself, as is my dad and his mom before him. Hissy, I've watched my mom in the same shoes as you are in, she just cannot get him to eat what he should and leave alone what he shouldn't. I thought it was just a case of "no self-control" for years. But after I was diagnosed myself, I came to have a different perspective to it. You watch others, in real life and TV, and commercials, eat anything, everything they want to, w/no ill effecta (seemingly), and you know you aren't supposed to, 'cause you're DIFFERENT ! Now, how many of us like to be thought of as "different" ? I know I don't, and I tend to rebel against anything that classifies me as different from so-called "normal" people, including the fact that I am a diabetic. Its not so much sometimes that I really want to eat sweets, but just the plain simple fact that I am NOT supposed to have them that bugs the crap out of me, yes, to the extent that I have been known to sneak sweets when I thought that noone saw me eating them, just because they are "forbidden" foods. Sigh, sometimes its just purely psycological.
Good luck w/your hubby, I know you're walking a tough road with him and this disease !
Cindy

Oh, MA, I'm sorry to hear that! I really don't know what to say except that I'll keep you both in my prayers. Hopefully you'll make him see that you really just want the best for him, and that having sweets is only hurting him.

Originally posted by KittenKrazy
Its not so much sometimes that I really want to eat sweets, but just the plain simple fact that I am NOT supposed to have them that bugs the crap out of me, yes, to the extent that I have been known to sneak sweets when I thought that noone saw me eating them, just because they are "forbidden" foods. Sigh, sometimes its just purely psycological.

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It may be, Cindy, but it is the same for people who battle a weight problem. When I made my goal weight at Weight Watchers last year, the very first thing the group leader said to me was, "Welcome to being artificially thin." It sent a HUGE message that, like it or not, I would never be able to go back to eating the way I did before, unless I want to gain the weight right back. The fact of the matter is, I am different from people who can put anything they desire in their mouths and never gain an ounce. So, the choice rests with me as to which state of health I want to be in.

Originally posted by Deb25
It may be, Cindy, but it is the same for people who battle a weight problem. <snip> The fact of the matter is, I am different from people who can put anything they desire in their mouths and never gain an ounce. So, the choice rests with me as to which state of health I want to be in.

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Yup, don't I know it, as I too have to fight the weight battle.....but with the overweight state of the USA, I don't feel quite so different in that respect, 'specially when I look around me and see lots of folks who make me, at 200 lbs, look model thin by comparison. I just think, for some of us, a lot of the time its just because we KNOW that we're not supposed to have it that makes us want it. It's kinda like St. Paul, in the Bible, he had what he called "a thorn in the flesh". For me, that urge for forbidden foods is literally my thorn, something I have to live with, day in and day out, and as with other bad things, sometimes I win, sometimes I lose.