Is this normal?

brokenheart

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Ever since my cat died (a week ago today), all I want to do is sleep. (When I'm awake, I'm crying.) Is that normal?

Also, why do some people say, "Well, you're lucky. At least you have your other cats." That makes no difference. 
 

zed xyzed

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I think it is really insensitive to  say that having other cats should somehow lessen the pain of losing one. Many people deal with grief with sleeping and retreating from the world, when you sleep you often have some respite from the overwhelming pain. I am sorry for yours loss and the pain you are in. 
 
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brokenheart

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I try to look at the intention behind it. In this case I know the person was not at all being unkind, it's not in her nature. It's someone dear who's only ever had one pet at a time so doesn't have the experience of knowing more doesn't equal less grief. 

Which is totally unlike the time when I was MUCH younger - and a roommate and I had to put her cat to sleep. The next day when I got off the train to work, a 30ish man I'd spoken with once or twice mentioned I looked sad. I told him about the cat and he said ... wait for it ... "Maybe you don't need a cat, maybe you need a boyfriend." Ba dum bum. That really happened!
 

zed xyzed

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OMG some people just suck (train dude). But you are correct, some people who never had a cherished pet  and don't realize just how much they are loved and a part of our lives. 

This is wonderful site because we all get it, and grieve with you. 
 

catlover73

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Ever since my cat died (a week ago today), all I want to do is sleep. (When I'm awake, I'm crying.) Is that normal?

Also, why do some people say, "Well, you're lucky. At least you have your other cats." That makes no difference. 
The grieving process has many stages and we each move through them in our own order and time frame.  I know exactly what you mean when you say it either seems like you are sleeping or crying.  I have been there personally and yes that is a part of the grieving process.  Just make sure you are still taking care of yourself too.  I had a hard time getting myself to eat after some of my losses but not eating can cause it's own problems.

I wish I knew why some people think having other cats makes the grieving process less painful.  You do not grieve any less for the ones you have lost just because you have more than one cat.  Yes having other cats can help because sometimes they are great at distracting you with their own antics.  One thing to remember though is your other cats maybe grieving too and may need extra love and attention.  I found the needs of my other cats to be a great motivator to get moving when all I wanted to do was sleep.

Your loss is still new.  There will be a lot of emotions you will feel over time.  Allow yourself to feel them because it needs to be done in order to work through things.  No one will ever replace the baby you lost but hopefully over time you will be able to look back on the memories you shared together without being sad.  No one can tell you how long this will take.  Hugs to you during this very difficult time.
 
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tobilei

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It annoys me when people are insensitive about our babies. I know it's because they don't understand but our babies are our family and we grieve for them as much as we do human family. Where you are at is completely normal. It does get less painful with time and you do get to a stage where you can look back and remember good times and laugh or smile, but you will always miss them.

Give lots of cuddles to your remaining baby and some extra love and care for her too. She will be missing her companion but she too will be okay. Sending love x
 

di and bob

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Everyone grieves differently, everyone heals their own heart at their own pace and muddles through on how to do it. You are grieving in a normal way, it is called depression, and is perfectly normal after losing a cherished member of your family. MANY people fall apart when they have lost a companion, many handle a human death better then losing a pet, who love us unconditionally and are not critical or spiteful to us. We often accept human death, especially after a long life and failing health, but our soulmates are never supposed to leave us, but unfortunately they don't have as long of lifespan. I was a mess after losing my Chrissy, I would be going down the road and start crying every time I thought of her and how she died. It has been three and a half years and it is better, I guess we just learn in our own ways how to live with it, how to cope with losing a part of our lives. Time is the only thing that helps, that and finally coming to terms with the fact that your sweet baby would never want you to be so sad when remembering what you had. You would want your loved one to be happy again, to live and love again, and that little one that loves you so much would not want less.  Your little one is bonded to your soul, they will always be nearby, your memories of a happier time will comfort you in the future instead of bringing pain.That bond and the love you feel is just that, it is not a physical thing you can touch, but that does not mean it is not there, it is a feeling, something indescribable in your heart that can never be taken from you.  

You have a loving heart, do good things in your little one's name, give pet food to the shelter, pay for an adoption to give another a chance at life and love. Give your time to those who so desperately need a loving stroke and to feel loved if only for a moment at your shelter. It helps to make you feel better about yourself and distracts you from your grief so that you don't dwell on it and make it your life. Those babies you have left are grieving to, make sure they are comforted and you will receive comfort in return. Allow yourself to grieve, you have lost an important part of your life, but you can never change the past. Use what you have gone through to prepare for the future, your sweet little one gave  much to your life, it is still better to have loved and lost then to have never known them at all, they were in our lives for a reason, to show us how to love and to care for another. Don't be hard on yourself, treat yourself gently and kindly, you are a good person, Surround yourself with others who understand and feel pity for those who don't, they have missed out on a beautiful part of life. I wish I could take away your pain, but I can't. I can say that I'll pray for you all, your beautiful little one who is at peace knowing they were so loved on this earth, and for you to eventually find that peace again in your heart and to allow yourself to be happy and alive once more. iIt WILL happen, but it takes time and it is only right to grieve for one who meant so much in the beginning, Take care........ 
 

morkie

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It has been almost one year since we helped our baby cross the rainbow bridge and I cried every single day! I'm crying now as I write this. It never gets easier to smile. Remember the great life that your fur baby had and that will get you through. Even as heartbreaking as it is to loose that special kitty I would not change a minute of it. They bring so much joy to our lives that when they are gone it seems so dark. They live on in our memories forever! They chose us for a reason. Your heart will heal but there will always be a little piece of it gone!
 

nurseangel

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I have a tendency to sleep a lot when I'm grieving and I think it's a perfectly normal response.  When you are asleep, you get a brief reprieve from sorrow.  I am so sorry for your loss.  As for those who say "you have other cats", please pay them no mind.  They just don't understand.  
 
 
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