Unique Situation! Cat playdates/living in two homes? Please help if you can :)

Hello everyone, I feel like I have a somewhat unique situation that I'm trying to figure out if it will work. I'm really hoping it will.

I am adopting a beautiful little Balinese traditional-type kitten from a litter born at the beginning of May, as soon as they turn 12 weeks old. My husband and I finally bought our first home (an apartment), and since we aren't renting anymore, its the first time we're able have pets, so I'm wasting no time on getting a kitten we would love. We need a Balinese to not upset his allergies. As soon as I first met the kittens at 3 weeks old, and sent a picture to my sister, now SHE'S going to adopt one as well! (Honestly, it took no convincing at all to get to her want one herself, just one look at the sweethearts and anyone would want to take them home!) Two sister kittens, to two sisters. Funny huh? Which is excellent news. She lives with her boyfriend in an apartment as well, about 30 min drive from me.

Here's the thing... we want to be able to babysit each others cat when we go out of town.

My husband and I are homebodies, we rarely rarely go on trips or vacations, at most we will spend 2-4 days usually around Christmas time out of town visiting my father-in-law. We would only need a cat babysitter once or twice a year max.

My sister and her bf go on trips often (at least for a week or so every year), plus lots of weekend camping trips during the summer months.

We've done tons of reading about introducing two cats together (usually two stranger kitties of course, one resident cat and one newbie). But this would be a bit different. Both cats right now of course, live with their mom and other brothers and sisters... the two cats already know each other. They get along with all the siblings. We're worried that once I take my cat home, and she takes her cat home, and they get settled in their new homes, they will forget about their siblings. Do cats remember their litter-mates if separated for some time before introduced? Or would they remember the smell, etc, and welcome each other with open paws?

To help them not forget about each other, we're hoping that once we spend a few days, get the cat accustomed to each of our places, we'll go on little play dates. Maybe she brings her cat over to my place one day for a few hours, and then the next week, I bring mine over to her place?

We're hoping to do these play dates about once a week (hard of course, with work schedules and transportation coordination with our significant others on who gets the car, etc), to maintain the bond between the two cats, and so they can each learn both apartments and feel comfortable there. Because if I have to go out of town for a week say, I'd feel 100000000000x better about leaving my baby behind if I knew she was being looked for with care 24/7. Both my sister and I don't have anyone else we could trust to pet sit, and since we don't live super close to each other, it would be hard to leave the cat in the apartment alone, and rely on each other to come over every day or multiple times a day to feed/play/change the litter etc, while we too have our own kitten at home. Plus they are kittens! they need the food given several times throughout the day, its not like once a day visit, pop open a can of cat food would do the trick.

Do you think we could make this arrangement work? We figure among the difficulty of not only visiting each other often, we need to bring our pets along, get the cats each used to each home, and constantly reminded about the fact the other cat is someone they know and trust already.

Do you think we would still have problems with cats being territorial over each other?

What if we also exchanged clothing or blankets with our pets smells on it, so if the other cat isn't around, at least I could have the blanket out and my cat could get reminded or perhaps tricked into thinking she also shares this space with her sibling? So that when my sister does go away for the weekend, I could have her cat over as well, and it wont be such a shock to my cat?

So ya, we live too far from each other leave the cats in their homes and just drive by several times a day to check up and feed the cat.

We don't have anyone else we could trust to pet sit.

We don't like the idea of boarding them... kept in little cages with lots of other unknown cats or perhaps dogs around, sounds traumatizing for a kitten to me! Plus what if they get sick?

I also think my main worry would be if they did get super territorial and did need the proper re-introductions (over a few days or weeks, opposite sides of a door, etc), because our vacations are always so short, there would be no point in doing the proper re-introductions because they'd be coming home before it was complete!

I know this must be confusing to read, but I hope it make sense, and if anyone has any comments, or hints or helps, or suggestions, please let me know!

I don't really know if this will work. Generally, cats separated from one another- even siblings don't stay close. They each should become more territorial as they grow older and less likely to accept each other back. It sounds really stressful overall. I think it would depend on the cats, but for most this wouldn't really work.

I think like @NewYork1303  said, it depends on the cat. I've seen lots of famous kitties going to public events and they seem "fine" and some cats who even travel constantly. Although I think it can be stressful for the common cat. I personally would try the play dates but really monitor your cat's behaviour. They are kittens so that's a good start.

In the worst case scenario, when you or your sister are on vacation, and the cats never get along as they age, if you have a spare room, it's much better to house the cat there than to board them or force introduction. 

Like has already been said, it really will depend on the cats as they get older.

I do think if you can maintain regular play dates once or twice a week where the cats can spend several hours together it might work. The cats would need to spend time at both homes. I'd even encourage you to do some regular scent swapping.

Out of my 6 personal cats I have two, maybe three, that could tolerate or even do ok with your ideal situation. The others are more routine based, homebodies and territorial. They do fine in their home with each other, but don't want any other cats coming into their home.

Thanks everyone!

I know for the common cat, traveling is rare except to the vets office, and might stress them out. Both my sister and I plan on trying to get our cats used to their carriers and to car rides. Maybe a drive around the block every night or two nights, so that the travelling aspect won't freak them out or stress them.

But with anything, I hope it would be easier to train them while they are kittens still! Just like we know to get the cats used to having their nails clipped, crate trained, used to get brushed or having their teeth brushed is easier from a young age, I hope so the same is for getting used to both homes.

My sister and I plan on using the same items in both homes... we have the same brand of cat litter, same foods, same cat tree even. Most of our toys are identical. Trying to keep it as normal for the cats as possible.

Scent swapping is definitely something we know we will need to do. Planning on doing it with items of clothing or blankets, but now I think about it, even the toys we could right? We exchange a couple of the toy mouses etc we have at each place, let them play with the same toy they are used to, with their siblings scent on it. 

I hope if we do this from a young age we can make it work and not be stressful for our babies.

Wishing you luck with this venture.  It is always so difficult to work out ways to keep our cats happen when we have to travel.   I agree with everyone else, it is so dependent on the individual cat personalities - but also your introducing it early in their young lives will help the chances of it being successful and not a big stress to your fur families.

My previous tabby female litter sisters, and a friend who lived close to me took one of their brothers.  When they were very young we used to take them out for car trips and the brother was brought round to meet up with his sisters just around a week after we had adopted them.   The car trips for leash walks worked great and we carried that on for a few months.   For visiting in the home, they had already either forgotten each other or decided that sharing house with each other was not for them and they spent most of the time hissing and spitting at each other.   The small amount of time not spent doing this the silly brother managed to walk across my gas stove that was lit for making a cup of tea and singed his tail before we could stop him        .   Oh boy, singed kitty fur smells BAD.        He was fine and didn't quite manage to give himself an early neuter....      Come to think of it, I wonder if his sisters put him up to it.      

I have always used friends and family to cat sit in my (cats') when I have gone away, but that only works for occasional stuff (and having someone available).

What I personally do with my cats is have somebody I trust come to my house, pet them and feed them there rather than take them elsewhere to do so. Your cat will be a lot more comfortable in the safety of your home and not around a cat it does not know, even if it might be more convenient to put your cat in another house for just a few days. I wish you luck!