cant stop crying

2 hours ago i just had my beautiful cat Monte put to sleep at home. He was nearly 20 ,had a spoilt life but at the end kidney failure made his life miserable. The past month he gave up eating and drinking we had to syringe him his meals and water and then he stopped walking. He looked so do much weight,he was just existing,not enjoying life. Monte had been my rock when my life was getting hard to cope with,i dont know what im going to do without him and his cuddles. Im heartbroken.

Rest in peace, Monte.

Monte was lucky to have such a great caretaker, Mishii.

It always hurts so much when they have to leave us, somehow we go on without them in our homes. But Monte will always be with you, there is no way a bond you have forged for twenty years is going to be broken. Love is an 'essence', a feeling we cannot hold or touch, but we possess it anyway and it is something that separation will not diminish. His spirit will surround you and comfort you in your precious memories, he will dwell in your loving heart forever. You gave him what he wanted the most out of life, your love and attention, he rests in peace knowing he will never be forgotten and that he made a mark in this world by being in your life. I pray he will have a swift journey to the Rainbow Bridge, his wisdom and knowledge will be shared with the little ones who left this world without experiencing life, he will be welcomed by the countless who have gone before him, and will be strong and whole again, no more pain and fear.  His star will shine brightly above a world that is a little darker without him in it, he was a special cat who will send his cuddles on the warm sunbeams, and will visit you in your dreams to help you through the pain. Try not to dwell on the end, celebrate what he brought into your life for twenty years, you were so lucky to have known and loved him. Take care of yourself, know you are not alone in your suffering.........RIP sweet Monte, you will be so very missed precious one, but know you will be held forever in a loving heart!   

I'm so sorry to learn of your loss.  I too lost my rock recently and have yet to truly discuss it.  I know and many others here know exactly how you feel.  In no way are you alone, please know that.

20 years old is a long time to spend with your best and most loyal friend.  I took care of my boy in the end also, and while you watch them decline knowing the end is nearer than far and that they will soon feel peace, it certainly doesn't make the loss easier.  I thought otherwise and people made me realize it does not.  As a fellow caretaker.  I know you will feel exhausted, your body will ache and your mind will race with one thought, Did I do everything I could have.  and I tell you yes you did.  Its your time to rest and take a breath.  Make sure you take care of yourself now.

As was told me, I tell you, allow yourself to grieve.  Come to this page, write, sit in a quiet room and cry, do whatever it takes but give yourself the chance to release it.  I still haven't gotten out all my feelings and accepted this loss, and it's going on 3 weeks.  I fear it's going to hit me all at once.  Although, I've also been told it could take years.  I don't know the answer, as there is no playbook to guide us.  But one thing I do know with no doubt, and that is you are not alone.

I really am so so sorry.  I'm at a loss for words right now.  Please take care of yourself.  Warm regards.

Monte is running free with no pain

If and when you're up for it.  We would love to see a picture of your sweet sweet boy Monty

We become so attached to our animals. 20 years is such a long time. You will get through this and with time things will get better. Allow yourself to experience your emotions. This is part of the grieving process. I understand the pain you are feeling. It can be unbearable at times but you will get through it. Someone offered me some advice about not dwelling on the end but remembering all the good things that you experienced. You made the right decision. No one wants to see their precious pet suffer. Hang in there.

My condolences. Twenty is a ripe old age for a cat, but we never really have enough time with them, do we? That's a lot of memories and love.

I'm so sorry, there are no words to bring comfort when it's still so raw. Cry as much as you want, let it out. When you've finished crying remember the love you shared for 20 whole years, that's a long time in a cat's life but you couldn't let him suffer the way he was at the end, your love for Monte made the decision. He's free, no pain, just pure freedom and that's the biggest gift you could have given him. When we adopt our furry friends we know it won't be for the rest of our lives but it doesn't make the pain any less when they go. Take time to heal, don't fight, let the pain come and go and when you feel you can cope again, remember him, send out the love you have for him, he'll feel it. I have a place where I've put all my photos of everyone I've lost who I loved and when I walk past, I look at them all and wonderful memories come flooding in, it will be that way for you to but for now, take each day at a time and go with the grieving process. If it takes a year, it takes a year, if it takes longer, it takes longer but rest assured, Monte wouldn't like you to be so unhappy so when you're ready, take a deep breath and move forward. My thoughts are with you X

I'm so sorry for your loss.  Bless you for giving Monte the spoiled life he deserved.  

I am so sorry for your loss. 

I'm so sorry.  That first day is awful, isn't it?  I recall being numb and then bursting into tears and then going numb again, all day long that first day.  The fact that you had him for 20 years must make it even tougher for you.  Just know that you aren't alone.  So many of us here know what you are going through.  

Be careful who you confide in.  Protect your heart.  Not everyone out there in this world understands.  This is a good place to come and share your feelings because we love kitties too.  Hugs to you.  

Time will heal your pain.  But you will never forget.  Lost my 15 year old about 2 months ago to cancer.  I am sorry.

Cry as much and as often as you need to. When my cat died in 2007, I cried all the time for months, from when I woke up till I fell asleep at night. The only time i didn't cry (except in the bathroom) was at work. I used to wonder how a human being could have that many tears in their tear ducts. Now it's all happening again, because I had to put my 17 year old angel cat to sleep. The knowledge I carry from 2007 helps a little. I know this first, overwhelming phase of grief will ease out eventually even though it doesn't feel like it at all, and that all you can do is let time do its work. I am so very sorry you lost your beloved pal.

It's very hard for us all losing our special friends. I am still crying 5 months after i had my boy put down. It will get easier in time. You will still cry, but you will remember the good times as well. Hang in there, we all understand what you are going through, and care. I had one cat 21 yrs. Now i look back and think what a great life she had, and how loved she was. 20 is a good age. I'm sure monte had a fantastic life with you.

I am so very sorry for your loss of Monte. This is such a difficult time as we all know too well. It took me a year to gather myself when my Boney Girl left this earth. Today makes 18 months that she has been gone. I cried at her grave this morning. The love will always remain.