Starting today without my beloved companion

I had to say goodbye to my beloved Bruno last night. He is 4 next week and died with severe anaemia. Over the last 3 weeks we've had him at the vets 3 times with high fever (40-41) and lethargy. We were given antibiotics and anti-inflammaotorys to bring the fever down, which did help at first but for some reason Bruno stopped eating and drinking only a couple of days ago.

My purpose of this post is to try and raise the awareness of how serious symptoms can occur in your cat that you may not think a lot of. I couldn't help but notice Bruno's nose turned completely white when it should have been pink. Little things like this go unnoticed - so please if you notice anything at all different with your cat get him to the vets. I felt guilty for not taking him back sooner as I thought he would pick up at home but I also felt silly for taking him back to the vest with a white nose. The vet explained that this anaemia was predisposed perhaps genetic that we could not have avoided. Unfortunately cats are absolute experts in hiding things from us, they are very proud animals and would rather not be fussed over. Thankfully Bruno died comfortably in no pain after saying goodbye to us, a few quiet meows let me know that he would be okay if we let him go.

I have lost cats in the past but this one hangs heavy on my heart today - does anyone have any ways I can make this easier for myself?

Many thanks - Hayley :bicolor:


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Hi Haley, 

So sorry to hear about Bruno. They certainly good at hiding things from us. I can say, grieving is not an easy process.

I too lost my baby Simon at the age of 13, on June 7th.  I've been in a fog ever since.  I know how you are feeling as do so many other member's, sadly enough.

Simon too hid his cancer from us. We thought it was a bump under his chin and turned out to be Cancer SCC which already attached itself to his jaw bone.  While I did have 4 months with him it was hard when he passed.

From what I'm learning through this, there is no easy way to grieve.  But I do feel better having Simon's ashes back, but it only feels too real now.  And I do feel better every time I write about him, and sharing pictures with the other members.  It really helps.  It's keeping his memory alive and gives me a chance to share with other cat lovers, how special he was.  And what's great is these beautiful souls of The Cat Site, really really get it.  They actually know how I'm going to feel before I feel it, which has made this process of grief a little less lonely. 

I was given so much support, accompanied by words of wisdom from people who have gone and are going through this same experience, below are some threads that I've read which have beautiful words of support.  As sad as they are, I find them inspirational.  Perhaps you will too.

What people tell me the most is don't feel guilty and beat myself up for not catching it sooner.  Unfortunately what is done is done... 

The most we can do now is remember how much we loved them and how much they loved us.  

Remember them well, and be happy we had them in our lives, even though time wasn't long enough.

below are the threads.

Mine, Simon's Story: A Cat's Tail... "a life celebrated".

Sebastian, the feline love of my life

Lamont Forever

My Childhood Sweetheart, Mr. Kitty.

My Sweet Angel Baby Crossed the Rainbow Bridge 2/5/16

Do you have any pictures you can post of Bruno...  I love to see some.

Hello,

Thank you for such a lovely heartfelt reply. I am sorry to hear about Simon, I bet you had 13 amazing years with him. I only joined this site yesterday, purely because I knew that talking about this to fellow cat lovers would help, and it has already. I have read your post about Simon and noticed you also took a picture of sky (I'm guessing that night?) which is exactly what I did too. It was such a peaceful night here, which made me think that Bruno was also at peace.

I'm trying to attach photos but I don't know how!! Bruno looks exactly like the little emoji on my original post - I will try and change my profile picture

Thanks again for your kind words xxx

Oh found it!!!

Catspyjamas1 said:

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• catspyjamas1
• Jun 23, 2016

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• catspyjamas1
• Jun 23, 2016

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• catspyjamas1
• Jun 23, 2016

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Wow, the pic of him sitting on the back of the sofa, he looks stuffed. LOL  What a sweetheart.  Bruno is so cute.

I'm so sorry for your loss.  

Yes the skies have been spectacular since Simon's passing.  It does make you wonder.

There is no answer on how to expect grief to progress, every person handles it differently and even each death is individual to the same person. Our animal companions can be held closer to the heart then even our human, they love us unconditionally, never judge us, and forgive us for every sin. You gave Bruno a wonderful home and the love he wanted from the one he gave his heart to, he will rest in peace knowing he will never be forgotten and will be forever held in a loving heart. I found comfort in trying to give comfort to others on the Crossing the Bridge forum, I will never forget how broken and full of pain I was in those first days, how guilt ridden and desperate to change the past. Just having someone acknowledge my feelings helped, I wasn't alone in my grief, there were many others who had went through this horrible experience  and somehow came through it to go on with life. I can tell you that the only thing that truly helps is time, it will never let you forget, but it softens the agony and lets you see things differently after the first initial shock has passed. Hopefully one day you can see that having Bruno in your life was worth the pain at his passing, he brought so much into your life,and that you can live again, just as he would want for the one he loved so much. The bond of love you have will never leave you, that bond is eternal, and like the wind is unseen until it works on something physical, like your heart.  It surrounds you and is intertwined with your soul, let it comfort you as do your memories, let it bring you peace and the knowledge that he will never be gone,  just out of sight. 

I also found comfort in doing good things in my Chrissy's name, paying for the adoption of an elderly cat that was in the shelter for so long,paying for spayings for those who can't afford it, feeding the homeless strays that show up like ghosts and so desperately need someone to care. Or giving your time, even if it means just dropping in for a few moments to give affection and attention to the strays in the local shelter. It makes me feel better about myself and I know my Chrissy would approve. I feel her presence almost as if am stroking her instead of that homeless baby. 

One day you will be able to smile through your tears at your memorie. My heart goes out to you, it is a long and winding road. Bless you for your concern and love for one of the most special creatures on this earth, I know Bruno is sending his love to you and thanking you for such a wonderful life. Take care.......RIP sweet Bruno, you are so very loved and will never be forgotten!

2Cats4everLoved said:

Wow, the pic of him sitting on the back of the sofa, he looks stuffed. LOL  What a sweetheart.  Bruno is so cute.

I'm so sorry for your loss.  

Yes the skies have been spectacular since Simon's passing.  It does make you wonder.

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Hahaha oh I wish we could stuff them!!! As you see he was a big boy, weight loss also took over and he never looked the same chubster he always was.

Simon has beautiful markings! You can't beat a tabby - do you have any other cats?

Di and Bob said:

There is no answer on how to expect grief to progress, every person handles it differently and even each death is individual to the same person. Our animal companions can be held closer to the heart then even our human, they love us unconditionally, never judge us, and forgive us for every sin. You gave Bruno a wonderful home and the love he wanted from the one he gave his heart to, he will rest in peace knowing he will never be forgotten and will be forever held in a loving heart. I found comfort in trying to give comfort to others on the Crossing the Bridge forum, I will never forget how broken and full of pain I was in those first days, how guilt ridden and desperate to change the past. Just having someone acknowledge my feelings helped, I wasn't alone in my grief, there were many others who had went through this horrible experience  and somehow came through it to go on with life. I can tell you that the only thing that truly helps is time, it will never let you forget, but it softens the agony and lets you see things differently after the first initial shock has passed. Hopefully one day you can see that having Bruno in your life was worth the pain at his passing, he brought so much into your life,and that you can live again, just as he would want for the one he loved so much. The bond of love you have will never leave you, that bond is eternal, and like the wind is unseen until it works on something physical, like your heart.  It surrounds you and is intertwined with your soul, let it comfort you as do your memories, let it bring you peace and the knowledge that he will never be gone,  just out of sight. 
I also found comfort in doing good things in my Chrissy's name, paying for the adoption of an elderly cat that was in the shelter for so long,paying for spayings for those who can't afford it, feeding the homeless strays that show up like ghosts and so desperately need someone to care. Or giving your time, even if it means just dropping in for a few moments to give affection and attention to the strays in the local shelter. It makes me feel better about myself and I know my Chrissy would approve. I feel her presence almost as if am stroking her instead of that homeless baby. 
One day you will be able to smile through your tears at your memorie. My heart goes out to you, it is a long and winding road. Bless you for your concern and love for one of the most special creatures on this earth, I know Bruno is sending his love to you and thanking you for such a wonderful life. Take care.......RIP sweet Bruno, you are so very loved and will never be forgotten!

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My gosh this is absolutely lovely thank you. And how very true, the love for animals cannot be compared to that for humans. Must be why the pain is so much harder, wishing we can do more for them than we already do.

Although hard work, cats are really special :heart3: it's comforting to know that others feel the same. Xxxx

Sending you hugs and blessings for comfort.

Furacious said:

Sending you hugs and blessings for comfort.

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Thank you so much :heart3:

Ah I'm so sorry to hear. Ignore my question on the other thread...
Sending love and light your way.

Sorry for your loss ,but he looks so happy,content and loved in your great photos so st least you know he had a life fillrd of love,happiness and plenty of love [emoji]127775[/emoji][emoji]127775[/emoji][emoji]127775[/emoji]

lovefive said:

Sorry for your loss ,but he looks so happy,content and loved in your great photos so st least you know he had a life fillrd of love,happiness and plenty of love [emoji]127775[/emoji][emoji]127775[/emoji][emoji]127775[/emoji]

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Thank you, he was one spoilt boy!!! Xxxxxx

Your most welcome