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I'm so blue

post #1 of 19
Thread Starter 
As many of you know Dad passed away in October. I have been thinking about Valentines Day coming up. Every year Dad would ask me to be his Valentine.

Even the year that he was in ICU and had all of the tubes and things on him where he couldn't talk he asked in his own way by drawing a heart on my chest I can't seem to stop crying tonight I miss him so much I don't think this pain of losing him will ever stop as it feels just like he died again today for me. I will never hear him ask me that or call me Kitten again.

Sorry for the vent here but I needed to get this off my chest
post #2 of 19
I am so sorry, but you were and are so lucky to have been so close to your father that he would do such an endearing thing with his daughter. Hold on to the fact that while he was in your live, he was IN your life and in your heart. He still is there, in your heart you know? And I'll bet when it is really quiet and your mind is still you can hear him talking to you with all the love he has for you.

I am sorry for your pain and your loss and hope the healing journey begins for you soon.
post #3 of 19
I am so sorry as well. I am thinking of you.
post #4 of 19
I am so sorry. It never gets 'better' just more acceptable. You were and still are very lucky to have had such a great relationship with you dad. As hissy says he is still with you which can in time be a real source of strength. He sounds like a great bloke.
post #5 of 19
Blondiecat i know how you feel. My dad passed away over 10 years ago and i still miss him!. As Tulip said you do learn to accept it- eventually.

Its still early days for you, so you cry all you want "Kitten"(My dad used to call me his "Poppitt").

Sending you a huge hug and a massive headbutt from Rosie.

Susan x
post #6 of 19
Thread Starter 
Thank you for your comments I am feeling somewhat better.

I didn't sleep at all last night but that is okay I had to cry myself out. Now with swollen eyes and a little lighter heart I sit here at work. I really don't know if it will get easier for me and the family to deal with him being gone, but we all are trying.
post #7 of 19
From experience I can tell you that the first year is so incredibly hard. You already know. The pain of losing someone that wonderful never goes away, but honest it does get less intense, less....urgent. One day you will be able to think of your Dad asking you to be his Valentine and smile, instead of cry. More happy memories will come to you when you think of him instead of ones that make you sad. You will be able to celebrate his life instead of missing him so bad that nothing else can get through.

(((HUGS))) from someone sharing your tears right now, who also lost her best friend, aptly named Mom, 4 years ago.
post #8 of 19
I am sorry for you pain, and glad you are feeling a bit better. This must be so hard when you have lost someone so close to you. ((((((HUG))))))
post #9 of 19
Awwww mate, you must be hurting so much right now. Sending big warm hugs from Western Australia

Hang in there.
post #10 of 19
Cathi, I'm so sorry you are going through this awful pain. I am thinking of you

A big (((((HUG)))))) from me and Headbonks from the girls.
post #11 of 19
I know how you feel blondiecat, my grandfather just passed away last week and my great-uncle last night. And all we have been doing is crying. I hope it gets better. Sending a big hug and headbonks from Shadow to you (and the Sammycat )
post #12 of 19
I am so sorry Cathi - you and your family are in my thoughts.

post #13 of 19
Losing someone close is so painful! I am sorry about your dad - may time bring you peace in the knowledge that you shared a very special relationship with him.
post #14 of 19
Cathi, I sit here and share your tears. I haven't lost anyone closely to me recently but I know how you feel, You're definitly in my thoughts and I'm sending you major healing vibes. You're memories of your dad are so special and that's so lucky for you to have. Take extra special care my friend, and remember we're always here.

post #15 of 19
Cathi, I know how you dad passed away three years ago, and I was very close to him. I miss him never ends...but it does get easier to handle. I guess we just get used to them being gone after awhile. If you need to talk, I am here...and I will be your valentine.
post #16 of 19
Aww (((((Cathi))))) Hang in there Kitten! I'm sure Daddy's looking down on you and still thinks of you as his valentine.
post #17 of 19
I'm sorry Cathi.
post #18 of 19

Your father lives on in your heart and in your memories. As much as the memories may hurt you now, don't ever let them go.

You are in my prayers.

post #19 of 19
Thank you for sharing your beautiful story. What a wonderful relationship you and your father must have had. I lost my father a little over a year ago and it is so hard. Little things will hit you when you least expect it and all of a sudden you are crying like a baby. My thoughts are with you.
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