I had to put my boy to sleep yesterday

Hi everyone!... I just put my male cat to sleep yesterday...It was a very sad day in my life...I feel so guilty that I still don't know if I did the correct thing!!!...  I returned home and all I do is see him around the house, following me.  I wish he was here.  He was diagnose with feline leukemia but I did not know because I took this cat from the street and I gave him all the love I could.  He gave all that love back to me...He was the best cat I ever had and since I had him for less than 2 years, it was like love at first sight ....When I took him yesterday to the clinic, he was very weak, no eating at all, and I could see his paws, gums and nose were very pale.  He had lost a lot of weight in the last week.   He was neutered on May 31st and since then , he started to decline.  I wish I would of notice some symptoms before but the vet said that leukemia has no cure , specially when it awakes after some kind of stress in the cat....

When I was in the clinic, I hold him and I asked God and him to forgive me for that decision but the vet said I was doing the cat a favor because he was suffering. I asked my baby cat to let me know he was ok in some way....Guess what ???.... When I returned home, I found 6 garden roses thrown in the parking lot, (just where he will go around in mornings and nights)!!!... I could not believe because, we usually pick up garbage that people throw around most of the time.....!!!...I felt it was a message from my baby cat, saying he was in peace !!!... I picked up the 6 roses (that were not roses you buy in a florist, they were roses cut up from a garden) and I have them in a small vase close to my cats hair (that I cut before he was taking to the crematory)... I really hope he is in peace and I do hope he comes to visit me.   I still feel so guilty and I miss him so much.    Please tell me how I can have this pain go away.  thanks to all of you! Marie

How heartbreaking, I am so sorry. You loved your boy and did what you did because of that. The easy thing would be to let him hang on and suffer. Your act of kindness took courage and a love deeper than your pain in saying goodbye. RIP sweet boy. 

I'm so sorry for your loss.  Please don't feel guilty.  I think everyone who loves their pet does in a situation like this, but you did what was right for your boy.  Bless you. 

I feel as you do! I put my cat, Graymalkin, down last Thursday after eight happy years. I've had many pets die over my lifetime; from heart attacks; kidney problems and so on but this is the first time I had voluntarily had a pet euthanised. It was my decision to end the life of my pet. It's a hell of thing to do and, after it was over, I can relate to your feelings of guilt, whether I did the right thing, whether I should have waited a little longer, thoughts that perhaps the pain was not as severe, feelings that perhaps the cancer was reversible and castigating myself for not noticing early symptoms.

I'd never had that morass of feelings, other than grief and loss, when my other pets died as I did not directly end their lives. However the Vet told you that you were doing your cat a favour because your cat was suffering. My Vet told me that if Graymalkin was his cat, he would be making the same decision, to put her down. It doesn't make us feel better but it does give some rationality as to what we have done.  

And six garden roses awaiting you in the parking lot! What a beautiful and spiritual thing to happen. You are indeed blessed and it seems nature is sending you a gesture of thanks.

I can still hear Graymalkin meow during the night and, sometimes, during the day. I can't bear to take her pet bed away and to take away the blanket where she used to sit in the sun. I know it's silly but I'll leave everything where it is until I am ready. Suddenly Graymalkin is no longer part of the usual household routine and it'll take time to accept it.

I do know that we have done the right thing and if we had prolonged their pain it would, on reflection, have been an even more unbearable situation.

Our pain won't go away, it will simply fade and transmogrify itself into a deep passion and caring for all other pets. I'm sure that will be true for us both. Our cats will live within us and we will always have access to their memories.

Malvolio

My heart goes out to you Marie, I hope one day you will come to terms with the fact that you saved your precious boy a lot of suffering from something that was incurable, you will be blessed for that. He needed you and you were there. You gave him two years of love and care and that is all he ever wanted from this world, The guilt you have is a part of the grieving process, try not to go over all those should haves, could haves, they bring nothing but heartache, believe me. Try to concentrate on the fact that you gave him a wonderful home full of love and was there for him at the end. He left you a legacy of love and asks you to keep it in your heart, perhaps to pass it on some day to another, to keep a part of him alive in the form of love. The bond you share is something that can never be taken from you, he is sending comfort to you through your memories and through signs that mean so much to both of you, like the roses. I'll pray for you both, take care........RIP precious boy, you will never be forgotten, and will forever be held in a loving heart!

You did such a wonderful thing for your boy, rescuing him from the streets and giving him two wonderful years of happiness.  Just as you felt he was the perfect cat for you, he knew you were the perfect human for him.  You have done nothing that deserves forgiveness - instead you saved him from suffering and gave him a gentle, painless farewell.  We should all be so lucky to have someone who loves us so much with us at that time.  And how lovely to find the roses waiting for you when you got home.  I know the coming days are going to be very difficult but I hope you can find some comfort at some point in memories of happier times.   Remember, you can always post here about him if things get hard.  Everyone here understands.       

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Just wanted to say I am so sorry for your loss. I understand the feelings of guilt. We always ask ourselves did we do the right thing? And the should haves the would haves and all the baloney our mind plays on us. But if your vet said that it was time, then take comfort that he did not suffer. He only knew love and happiness. A full belly. A warm home.Someone to care for him. Its hard. the first week or so. Take heart that he is now running free at the Bridge. He will be welcomed by all the others who have gone on before him. Sorry for your loss. May he live in your heart forever.

Dear...Thanks for your kind words!..It feel good to know that we are not alone in this situations that we have to live.

Our cats are still with us in spirit and I also feel my Mustafa waiting for me.  At least I know he is not suffering any longer.  God is keeping them all in heaven and Im sure they are looking at us !!

Yesterday I spoke with a good friend of mine and she told me that my cat could not have a better mom.  At least he got to leave some part of his life in a caring and loving home and not in the dirty streets.  At least he went to sleep in my arms and he knows how much he meant to me.  

God bless you and your cat also is looking after you and I'm sure he is greatful for all you gave him...I know that... Thanks again for writing to me.  Marie

Thank you so much for your message !!!... it really means a lot to me and I actually never thought that people will answer my message..... I'm overwhelmed on everyone's comments and I feel a little better about putting my baby to sleep.   I certainly know that I wanted Mustafa to stop suffering and go in peace.  God bless you.  Marie

Di and Bob...Thank you !!!...Yes , you are right...He will never be forgotten. I have 3 more cats that I rescued before him but  Mustafa was my favorite.   I will keep strong for my other cats and I will keep Mustafa in my heart always. Thanks again for your kind words!...God bless you.  Marie

I'm very sorry for your loss. FeLV takes far too many of our fur babies from us. You gave your boy love and care in the time he had left, then spared him suffering, which is what counts. RIP, little one.

So sorry for your loss. I know what it is like. I had my 16 year old put down today. Vet came to my house, it was quick, painless and peaceful for her. I am in agony, but I feel it was the right thing to do. Don't want any of my cats to experience too much pain or not be themselves any longer. She had CKD but also dementia. I think there might have been some digestive things also (IBD?) but, what's important now is she lived with the highest quality of life I could give her as naturally as possible and I didn't hold onto her for my sake. We had a wonderful 16 years together. I can't ask for anything more. I know the heartache now will eventually become wonderful memories of better times gone by.

M mpcrocetti I am so sorry for your loss. My heart is breaking for the pain you are going through. I know how empty your home must feel without him.
You saved him from a life on the street. You gave him a warm home filled with love, and he loved you in return. He knew what comfort and love was, and that is all our kitties ever want. They want food, warmth, and love. Your kitty had all that and gave you love in return. He was a happy, contented kitty and will remain with you always (in his own special place within your heart).
RIP Sweet Kitty!
You were so very loved and will be missed forever!

I am so very sorry to hear of your loss, but like others said you did the correct thing, he was suffering and to keep him around would have just made the end of his Earthly life miserable, but it is always hard to "play God" and make that decision, but if he was in that bad of shape you certainly did the right thing and he THANKS you for it! You took him in, gave him a MUCH better life than he would've had on the streets, and trust me, the roses are most DEFINITELY a sign from him saying "thank you, I loved you and I am doing just fine right now", trust me I know. Skipper our 8 year-old passed away suddenly last week, and we have gotten feathers as a sign from him letting us know that he is doing just fine right now, and we should not be upset but be glad that they are in kitty Heaven right now, doing just fine, no more pain ever......

Please know that you did the right thing, and you cared enough to share your life and love with this precious little boy. Rest in peace, sweet kitty.....