Cats were best buds, now frequent aggression: At my wits' end over urine spraying - HELP!

plinkomuon

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Hi everyone,

I'm hoping some of the cat behavior experts can help my problem. Apologies in advance for the long post, but I want to provide as many details as possible to help with a solution.

I adopted two feral kittens at ~10 weeks old about 6 years ago - brother and sister, and have kept them as indoor-only cats in a relatively large house. Had no other animals in the house. My spouse and I are the only two humans in the home.

Got them spayed/neutered at ~6 months old. They seemed to be getting along quite well for years - slept curled up together, groomed each other, ate next to each other, and occasionally played together. The male seemed to be the more dominant of the two, and was more aggressive in play. Every few months, I would catch him attempting to mount the female, but I never saw any all-out fights.

Cut forward to April 2015 (nearly 5-years old). A stray cat appears on our front porch; male cat sees it and goes bonkers, even to the point of biting me when I came into the room to investigate the ruckus. Ever since then, it's like some fuse blew in his brain. He became outwardly aggressive toward our female cat (not all the time, but usually a few times per week). I would often come home from work and find tufts of hair from both cats around the house. There were a few abscessed bite wounds that needed vet attention. The female started being stressed out, sometimes growling and hissing just by seeing her brother enter the room.

Along with the aggression came litter box accidents and/or urine spraying. We started to find more and more urine puddles outside of the litter box from both cats. We tried all of the remedies we could find online. We treated each spot with a (quite good!) enzymatic cleaner, covered the cleaned spot in foil or sticky plastic, applied orange oil to the messed areas, used both types of feliway diffusers, the feliway spray, the calming collars....but they never seemed any calmer.  Once their previously-marked area was taken away from them (either by using the foil/sticky plastic method or by closing doors), they would start marking a new area.  We now have SEVEN litter boxes for these two cats - 2 upstairs, 1 main level, 4 in basement. They have their pick of three different brands of litter, covered and uncovered boxes, various litter depths and litter box sizes...I"m trying to give them options!

To minimize fights, we tried to keep the male segregated, hoping he would "cool off" and forget his aggression, but after 2 weeks of hearing him yowl to be let out, I just couldn't stomach keeping him confined 24/7.  Now, we just keep them separated during the day when spouse and I are at work (male in basement; female in spare bedroom), and they are only together when one of us is home to supervise.  We have only had ONE all-out fur-flying fight since starting this routine about 3 months ago.  The male does seem somewhat less aggressive for the most part. However, the female still growls/hisses at the male about 25% of the time he enters the room. The rest of the time, there is no outward signs of unhappiness between the two. We occasionally see them curled up together/grooming each other like they used to do, and it makes us long for the days when they were friends.

The urine marking has been continuing and is increasingly destructive. They have now peed in nearly every single room of the house. They have destroyed a couch, a recliner, and damaged the wood on several inherited tables.  Carpets will likely need to be replaced throughout the house.

We took them to the vet; no health issues. The behavioral veterinarian said that there is nothing that can be done, that medication would not help and would likely make the problem worse. She said that our male would likely become more aggressive with time, possibly to the point of hurting me and killing the female cat. She suggested we give up our male to a shelter, even after conceding that he would likely never be adopted with his history of aggression and urine marking.

It hurts my heart to even consider giving up one of my pets. For how much trouble they have caused us, they are still affectionate to us, are super cute, and we love them dearly. 

Please help - what else can we try? Is there any hope for our situation?  Has any one else had this situation? If so, what did you do? 

Thank you.
 

aislinn

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This is a clear case of redirected aggression. Your vet should have known that. You will have to do a slow reintroduction, as though they had never met before. Your male was simply reacting to the outdoor cat, and protect in his territory. Unfortunately, his sister was the unintended victim, so now has trust issues with him. Read about cat introductions, and take it slowly.
 

aislinn

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And there are medications that will help with each cat's anxiety. Your male cat should not be classified as aggressive. I would seek out another vet and a behaviorist.
 

zoruke

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Cool:we're pretty much in the same situation-only it's 2 sisters & 1 daughter.
The daughter,1yr old,was gone for a week or so,looking for a boyfriend...
When she came back,her mom (6yr) and aunt (3yr) both had babies,slept together etc.etc.;
6yr went nuts,attacking 3yr to death...we had this nonsense,this war,going on for a whole week (I cannot imagine MONTHS!!!),only one cat inside the house,doors shut...
UGHHH.
I thaught maybe the ONLY option was giving one of the 2 away...but that was NOT an option for me!!!
So,without really knowing what to do,I'm trying to get them back together calmly,showing them there's been some kind of misunderstanding and it's working,slowly but surely...
Seems like 3yr is affraid of 6yr,and if she hisses,it turns 6yr on war.
I try to keep her from hissing;talking gently,even purring ,(yes,I purr!..)seemsto help alot.

I really hope you find a way to fix your situation...
 

cilmartel

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I had a cat for like 2 years and adopted another one, this one is younger, and a lot more active. At first the younger cat was timid (both females) but now the younger attacks the older and sprays. they are both fixed never seen older spray, but younger does and it is a clear spray, doesn't seem to have an odor. is this jealousy? what can I do? 
 

aislinn

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Separate them and reintroduce them slowly. It's not jealousy. The first cat is being territorial which is normal.
 

cilmartel

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i am more concerned this one sprays, the very reason i will not have a male cat, never had a female cat spray once fixed anyone else have this happen, seems like something is not right. 
 

cilmartel

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I am actually being sprayed by her, she will back up and spray me, for no reason.....has she been fixed correctly.  makes me think she was not properly  fixed......
 

Willowy

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In my experience, female cats (fixed or not) spray just as much, if not more than, any neutered male :/. Of course intact toms win the spraying prize, but girls certainly are not incapable of it.
 

aislinn

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A female spraying is a sign of stress. Maybe try some Rescue Remedy for pets in her water to calm her down. Your vet may even prescribe anti-anxiety meds for her. That may calm her down somewhat. The poor thing.
 
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