Nursing cat licking spay wounds...

My cat had an emergency spay after her kittens but pretty much ignored the wound for the first four days or so. However, on the fifth (just before the vet checkup! Of course) she licked it and has semi-opened the outer layer of glue, and there were some watery rusty/bloody streaks. The vet said she needs to be stopped from doing it, but she completely freaks out when I put it on her, even if I leave it for a while - she's quite a nervy cat, I found her as a kitten in an abandoned property and she really only trusts me.

The issue is complicated because she had kittens the day before the spay and they were pretty small so I've been supplementing them all week (previous thread about that here) but finally it seems her lactation has stepped up again after the surgery etc and they're getting plenty from her too and growing really fast (the tiniest put on 10g in the last 9 hours!), so that's been a huge relief. I don't want to set them back again - when she has the collar off she's mostly pretty chilled and just feeding them, there are just moments she tries to clean, but once the collar's on she leaves them immediately and paces round in a panic, trying to remove it and getting agitated and ignoring their hunger calls. 

I'm obviously hugely concerned about her infecting the site and needing more drugs or surgery, but I'm also concerned about the kittens' feeding (it's obviously much more ideal if they're getting sustenance from her as much as possible - no risk of liquid aspiration etc) and even about injury to them from the cone. It has a very hard plastic edge plus she's a small cat so it sticks out quite far beyond her head, and in her agitated state she already pinned one kitten between it and the wall of their space once before I rescued it. They're small still and delicate and it would be so easy for her to break their ribs or legs etc by mistake. 

What do I do?? For obvious reasons I can't completely cover her torso either - plus I feel she'd just pull it off, and the wound prob needs air. I thought about disinfecting what she's opened; is that a good idea, and if so what would I use? I saw the vet less than 24 hours ago but despite my attention and prevention as much as I could she's managed to open it a bit more. It's hard to be literally looking at her 24 hours a day; also sometimes she's washing the kittens as they nurse (which again she can't really do properly with the cone on) so there are lots of false alarms...

I also wondered about, if one disinfected it, glueing the second seam again, as that's at least a temporary barrier. Thoughts? 

Thank you so much for your advice in advance!

I hate those cones and certainly cannot imagine using one in this situation.  They are better for dogs.  This is a mom cat who needs to be able to lick her kittens.  In my experience, if you get a cat a decent amount of pain medication, she will not be licking the wound because it will not hurt.  Also, it is possible to put a practically unremovable clear plastic bandage over the incision for a few days in a case like this, and it will keep the kittens from getting their claws in it.  A cone will not help in this situation.  I would suggest you get the wound actually sutured and put a plastic covering bandage over it and get her some effective pain medication for a few days and that should help get you through this difficult time.