Why did my kitten die? Please help! Im absolutely heartbroken

Ok so this is very hard for me to reencounter. Two weeks ago to this day, my dad found a tiny grey tabby kitten sitting alone in the dirt. She had no mother cat, and not one sibling in sight. My dad picked her up and held her untill we brought her to the vet. This vet said she was a girl and in good health. At this point though i noticed her right eye was squinting, and thought nothing of it having never raised a cat before. Throughout the two weeks me, my sister, my mom, and my dad bottle fed her kitten formula, held her, kept her warm and stimulated her privite parts (so she could learn to go to the bathroom). This little kitten weighing half a pound touched so many hearts, and the time i had her was absolutely incredible. She was truly perfect and a creature from the hands of god. Our family named her nala from the lion king. After a couple days, she started gaining weight, getting stronger, more active all the while still having the slight squint to her right eye. I was so thrilled and imagined of the big beautiful cat she would come to be. Come last night she started seeming congested, and not as active as she normally is. I took her to the vet at 5pm, the vet said she can hear a little akward breathing but she will be fine and gave us a bottle of antibiotics. She didnt even notice the cats eye (like the first vet), but it came to me to point it out. The vet gave me creave for feline herpes preventative care. I took her home, and was so happy, beliving she would be ok. The next moring i woke her up out of her cage, and she seemed almost dying and super floppy. I paniced and rushed her to the vet to get emergency help. Though this time nala opened her eyes and looked at me, still sick, opening her mouth to try and meow as if to say "please do something to help me mommy". Uggh that image will be engrianed in my head forever. The vet said she IS on her way to dying. Asking if there was ANYTHING she could do, she said an invasive procedure was possible shooting antibodies in her bones but that would cause a lot of pain and almost never works anyways. She advised to put her down because she was on her way to death, and to save her the pain i agreed 33. Coming home and reading about feline FIV herpes, it says kittens can have it for a long time and look fine, then die very quickly, and a closed eye is a symptom. I keep second guessing myself. Why didnt the vet the very first time pick that out?? Could she have gave her preventative antiboiotics so she lived?? Did i do the right thing by agreeing to put her down??? Maybe if i took her home she could have pulled through. Im so emotionally distraught. Nala was an incredibly beautiful kitten, touching my heart with an unexplainable bond that i would have given anything in my life to save. She was an angel. I just hope i gave her the best chance at life, and i have been haunted at the thought of having any shortcomings with my care, to the point that i had to come to the internet and post this to vent my helplessness.

I am new to this forum, and im not sure sorry if this is the wrong category. I just started my account to find support anywhere,, because i had too many categories to tell my story on yahoo answers

My heart breaks for you, there is nothing worse then to love these sweet little beings and then to lose them. First of all, YOU DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG, you fell under that sweet kitten's spell and she wormed herself into your heart. Sometimes the best we have is still not enough, you did all you could with what you had, The reason she could have been alone is because maybe her siblings and mother were already sick with something, possibly distemper, which comes on after a few weeks and there is absolutely nothing you can do except pray. Vets have seen many suffering animals, and if she suggested your little one was suffering, it was best to end that suffering, you saved her from something that would not get better. She came into your life because she knew you would love and care for her, you will be blessed for your kindness. She needed you and you were there. Don't let this close your heart to future love, she left her legacy of love with you, to carry in your heart so that you can pass it on and help her to live again through this new love. She loved you too much to see you so sad because of her, try to celebrate having her in your life, it meant the world to her and it will to you someday too, when the tears stop and  you are able to think of her with joy instead of sadness, as she would want. Her tiny soul will be bonded to yours, nothing can take that from you. I'll pray for you both, keep your chin up and know you are not alone in your grief. Thank you for letting us know of this special little girl, we will mourn with you. RIP sweet little angel girl, you will never be forgotten and will be held forever in a loving heart!

I am so sorry that you had to witness this. Unfortunately this could be why mom abandoned the baby. You did the right thing. You didn't let her suffer. When the breathing gets labored and they are lethargic its called fading kitten syndrome. Theres nothing you could have done. My only question would be when you fed her the bottle did you keep her stomach down and head up? Its possible she aspired some of the formula-theres nothing you could have done to save her from this. Other than having them in the correct position for feeding. She got to know love. She got fed. Kept warm. Otherwise she would have starved to death or gotten mauled by an animal so in essence you improved her life. It may have come to a stop too early but she was taken care of. Think of what her life would have been if your father didn't pick her up and shelter her. Let these memories give you peace. I don't know if the herpes is the reason for her death. We don't know most times why our animals get sick even when we do everything correctly. I am truly sorry this came to a heartbreaking end for you. But you didn't do anything wrong. Send her off to heaven with love in your heart-she has moved on to another journey and you will meet up again when its your turn to walk the Bridge.

Thank you both so much it makes me feel alot better. This kitten was thrown into our arms with no previous experiance and the first thing we did is try to place her with someone who was an expert with this. The shelters wouldnt place her until she was healthy and didnt require as much care. We tried to do absolutely the best we could and she was thriving for a while. The vet did say she was extremely small though for her age. And at the time she was starting to drink formula from a shallow dish. This whole situation is attributed to our neighbors in my opinion. There is about 11 to 12 people living in one house that are all drug addicts. They let there cats, dogs, etc run all around and come back whenever they want, without shots, spaying, neutering etc. And i suspect nala was a baby from their cats litter since she was found right out back of their house and the cats look extremely similar.

  Losing a little one is very difficult to bear, but your family did the right things and Nala left this world knowing the joys of being part of a family, getting food, shelter, affection, toys, etc.  When she gave her little meow to you, asking for help, you did the right thing in releasing her from her suffering.

There are several diseases that can suddenly take a kitten, in addition to genetic problems. It is likely that the mother cat realized that Nala was probably not going to make it and so she abandoned Nala. I have several blind cats in my yard whose mothers abandoned them as kittens and without intensive veterinary care and human intervention, those cats would have died as kittens. I have also lost many kittens who just weren't strong enough to conquer the diseases. Vaccinations for the mother cats would have prevented much suffering but this is an imperfect world so, sadly, many kittens are born only to die young. We just have to do our best to give them a good chance, and be grateful for the healthy days that they enjoyed, and let the sadness serve to strengthen our resolve to get as many cats spayed, neutered and vaccinated......Keep up the good work and be encouraged - your experiences with Nala will serve you well for your next kitten rescue~   and your TCS family is with you in thought and spirit, and little Nala watches over you from above