My Chance...my soulmate

Greetings everyone....my name is Lisa....it's been 24 hours since I had to put my 1 year old male siamese Chance to sleep....friends, I am sooo devastated I barely have the energy to write, but I just wanna ask for prayers for comfort as I feel my heart, spirit, soul crushed...tomorrow June 5th, 2016 would have been a year since I was given my precious Chance by a woman surrounded by quite a few homeless cats. As I drove by her, I asked her if she would give them the box of cat food i had in my car...she said sure...so as I gave her the box, she bent down grabbing a little kitten and asked me if I would take him because he had followed her for a few blocks and had been biten by a dog (so she thought) his skin was missing on top of neck...so I took the little guy home and started to heal his wounds thinking I would take him to the SPCA the next day...but I felt he was a gift from God to me as I was feeling sad and depressed from loosing my dad just 7 months before, so I decided to keep him....i named him Chance because he got another chance in life. I took him to the vet got all his shots got him antibiotics oral and topical for his wound, which was not a dog bite but a burn from a car's hot engine, and learned he shared same birthday as my dad (March 2nd), well this little guy stole my heart and soul....he brought me the happiness I never had or felt...he was there for me thru the healing of a horrific painful surgery I endured, just leaving my side to go eat and use the potty and right back to me....he changed my world....i couldn't have gotten thru sooo much pain without him im sure...he was my comfort thru the pain, my wailing etc. He was sooo loving and attached to me...he was where ever I was throughout the house,,,he slept behind my legs, he was always always on my chest or lap and gave me constant head buds and kisses...I know he loved me as much as I adored him...he was extremely carefree and happy rinning throughout the house freely, jumping to all the window seals so extremely playful and energetic he was a true joy and I grew to love him in this 1 year as my own child. Suddenly my little guy started to stay to himself and be for long periods of time in the basement....he was withdrawn didn't wanna be held and started to loose his appetite. ..I took him to the vet on May 20th because I noticed he had some kind of fishy smelling diareah like drainage on his behind. .they said it was his sacks they checked for worms, fleas, etc. but was clear...so happily and thankful that he was ok I took him back home. He seemed to be coming around to being himself again, but within a week or so he started to withdraw again, spending more time in basement and not eating much. On Thursday June 2nd I took him to same vet again because I noticed he wasn't eating or drinking and his 2 long teeth were clumped down tight...I had to literally open his mouth to pour water with a syringe so he wouldn't dehydrate. They once again checked him and found nothing wrong but gave him a cortisone shot and oral antibiotics...the next morning (June 3rd, I found him in same spot in kitchen as the night before, depressed and body clumped down and again teeth tightly closed, so I took him to a different reputable vet. There, they gave him a complete examination, including bloodwork and ultrasound , they found his pressure to be 60, they said it should be at least 110, they noticed his pancreas was inflamed and told me he was really sick and depressed, I started wailing at the thought of putting my baby to sleep,,,I agreed to get biopsy of his pancreas and put him on ivs, then came the news I didn't want to ever hear, it was best to put him to sleep...I felt like I was sinking in quicksand...I can't describe this horrific feeling that I still feel that came over me at that moment of thruth...I left to pick up my kids (26 and 18 years old) to say goodbye to my Chancy...they brought him to me to the room we were in and placed him in my lap while they injected him....i sang the song I sang to him since I got him a year ago (this is the day the Lord has made) and had him look at me in the eyes and wailing told him how much momma lives him and that he would forever and ever be in my heart and soul as he slowly slumped down on my lap and peed on me....my dear friends, I can't describe the doomed feeling I have at this present time....i haven't ate since Thursday night and my eyes are swollen shut! I have never ever had a bond like this with any pet or any human! It's like he was my soulmate, I can't deal with the thought of never having him lay on my chest and lap and sleeping behind my legs and not feeling his head buds, etc. etc...if I had a choice of bringing back my mom, dad, grandma or him...it would definitely be him...I told my husband and kids that when my time comes I want his ashes to go in my casket with me and ask God to someday reunite me with my baby again....until we meet again my punky....momma loves you and forever and ever have you in my heart mind and soul...you are the best thing that ever happened to me....i live ypu with all my being[emoji]128583[/emoji][emoji]128591[/emoji][emoji]128546[/emoji][emoji]128557[/emoji][emoji]128153[/emoji]

Hello Lisa. I just saw this post and I can see that 25 other people have already read it, even though no one has commented to you yet.  Allow me to be the first to say I am heartbroken for you, losing your beloved young Chancy so unexpectedly.  He was just what a Siamese usually is, loving and devoted to his human, happy and healthy, silly and playful.  While you didn't give a diagnosis, the description of his illness certainly sounds like FIP.  That is a sneaky disease, a virus that a kitten may carry in its intestines that does no harm but then it suddenly mutates into a deadly form and moves inside the abdomen.  I have lost 8 kittens to this in the past two years -- it usually takes young cats, under two years of age.  After that, it seems their immune systems are strong enough to handle it and keep it in check.  There is no vaccine to prevent it and there is no cure available (yet -- one has just been discovered and has worked in a lab, so in a few years maybe we can prevent or treat this) and there is no definitive test for it either, except in a post mortem.  Diagnosis is usually made from the symptoms and progression of the disease.  I can now diagnose them before the vets can because I have had way too much experience with this particular disease.  It took my beloved Lurch, who was my favorite kitten and a rescue like yours who came in all beaten up and battered, but he got well from that, only to fall victim to this virus which evidently was carried by another kitten I had at the time.   I don't know if this will help you, but you should know there is nothing you could have done to prevent it, and once it starts affecting the internal organs, it's just a matter of time, and they lose their appetites and are in pain, so it is best to put them to sleep in the early stages so they don't suffer.  Your vets were wise.  I have been there with each one of my rescues that fell victim to this nasty disease.  I let them live as long as they were comfortable, and when they started to lose their appetites and withdraw, even before the clenched teeth I would take them in to the vet and ask him to set them free.  Sometimes he didn't believe me because they were not all that sick on the outside at the time, but he would do a post mortem and see they were very sick on the inside.  They are all buried in one corner of my yard with flowers and trees around them.  I call it FIP corner and add new flowers and ferns etc. every year.  You gave your little kitten a wonderful life full of love and fun things to do, and he gave you all his love for all of his life, even though it turned out to be a short one.  He wasn't left alone on the street with a burn from a car's engine.  He was loved and cherished and adored, and even as your heart was breaking and you had to set him free from his failing body, he knew he was loved and for him, it was a good transition.  Your father was there to catch his soul as he left his body behind, and they are both with you, always, even if you don't see them.  Someday you will be together again and there will be only joy.  "Pain is the knife that carves the space that joy will fill later."

That's horrible. I'm so sorry. I had to have my first cat put down back in late  95 and it was by far the most traumatic thing I've ever gone through. I'm old enough to have experienced some loss in my life but this was different somehow......Like you said.....It was like sinking in quicksand....I felt so guilty even though there was nothing I could have done to change the outcome. I remember saying to myself......Just get through the next hour or two.....then the next day.....week.....month. Dealing with time in small chunks was all I could do...... Talking to people that had gone through the same thing helped me the most....Just knowing they were out there.....It's kinda easy to forget that when you're in that state of mind....It's like a level of bleak loneliness you can't really put into words. I can guarantee, you will be in a lot of people's thoughts who read these forums. Many of us have felt the same way. You definitely are not alone.

Lisa I read this with tears streaming down my cheeks. Chance was obviously a very special little soul, and I am sorry for your loss. Your love for him is so apparent in your tribute to him. Even though he was with you for too short a time, in that time he knew what it was to be loved. RIP Chance you will always be loved

Thank you all sooo much for your comforting words....it means sooo much to me....I am getting my Chancy"s ashes in a couple weeks...it will be bitter/sweet to me, and am praying and hoping it gives me comfort and not set me back in depression. ..I thank you for your continued prayers and wishes as I know prayer is the key to open all doors to a new tomorrow full of mercy and peace....wishing you all God's speed & comfort....God bless you all![emoji]128583[/emoji][emoji]128591[/emoji][emoji]128153[/emoji][emoji]128150[/emoji][emoji]128008[/emoji][emoji]128054[/emoji]

You were destined to be together, that little boy was meant to share your love and your home. The bond you formed will be with you forever, he will be forever alive in your precious memories and will be held securely in that special place in your loving heart. When they leave us, it is soul crushing. They are often closer to us then most of our human relationships, they never condemn or tell us how to live our lives, they just love us completely in an honest and full hearted way. They never let us down, they are always there to offer comfort with their purrs and their quiet closeness.  Chance would never want to be the cause of such sorrow, he loved you to much for that. he left behind his legacy of love for you to hold precious and then to one day pass on so that he may go on in spirit.  You hurt so much because you loved so much, it takes a long time to heal a broken heart. Only time helps to soften the pain, and although you will always feel that ache in your heart for the loss you received, one day you will be able to celebrate having that special boy in your life because he brought you so much in that wonderful year you had together. It is still better to have known and loved him than to have never had him in your life at all. You gave him unconditional love, and that is all he ever wanted, so now he is resting in peace, secure that he will never be forgotten and will be loved forever. I'll pray for you both, you both will be blessed for sharing such a wonderful love.  Take care and know that many will mourn that beautiful little soul because of your beautiful tribute, take care.......RIP sweet Chance, the world is a darker place when you took the light that was you from this world, but it now shines brightly in the evening sky, you are safe and warm on the laps of the angels that adore you!  

I'm so very sorry for your loss. Chance very much entered your life "by chance", as if you were surely meant to be together. One year is nowhere near enough time to have, but that year was one full of love and has enriched your life forever. RIP, little one.

Good morning Red Top Rescue....I sincerely want to thank you for your prayers and words of comfort. ...today Sunday, June 5th is the one anniversary date that my precious ChancY came into my life and changed my outlook in life....I want to tell you that I woke up with this peace in my heart that's just incredibly surreal... I honestly thought today would be one of the worst days i would endure in my life but the amazing power of prayer is beyond anything that can be described into words....please know that your response and prayers have really impacted my soul and brought a peace in me that's beyond comprehension....may God bless you very much as you help others heal with your comforting words of wisdom...thank you for the beautiful siamese angel pic....I wish you the best of God's blessings & know that your kind words of comfort will forever be cherished in my heart[emoji]128153[/emoji]

Lisa Del Valle said:

Good morning Red Top Rescue....I sincerely want to thank you for your prayers and words of comfort. ...today Sunday, June 5th is the one anniversary date that my precious ChancY came into my life and changed my outlook in life....I want to tell you that I woke up with this peace in my heart that's just incredibly surreal... I honestly thought today would be one of the worst days i would endure in my life but the amazing power of prayer is beyond anything that can be described into words....please know that your response and prayers have really impacted my soul and brought a peace in me that's beyond comprehension....may God bless you very much as you help others heal with your comforting words of wisdom...thank you for the beautiful siamese angel pic....I wish you the best of God's blessings & know that your kind words of comfort will forever be cherished in my heart[emoji]128153[/emoji]

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Heya. Don't really have anything to add that hasn't already been said, but just wanted you to know that someone else has read your story, understood your pain, and sent you our hopes that it passes. 

I'm so glad you are feeling better today, Lisa.  It doesn't mean you aren't sad and missing ChancY, but there's that acceptance that he's okay and you're okay and it's okay to cry when the pain comes in waves but feel peace at the same time.  I'm so glad you got there so quickly.  I really believe that every living being has a job to do on this earth and when it's done, we get to graduate to whatever our next job may be.  It probably includes watching over loved ones left behind.  ChancY was here for you just when you needed him to be, and you were there for him when he desperately needed you too.  His job on earth is done, but yours is not.  His success will live on in you, and he is forever a part of you. 

Please accept my condolences for your loss of Chance.  He was blessed that came along when you did.  He had someone to love and care for him.  I am glad you have peace and will be praying for you.  Be kind to yourself; if not for you, Chance would have never gotten the opportunity to enjoy the life all cats deserve.    

I'm so sorry for your loss. I had to put my cat soulmate to sleep recently too, his name was Chessy and he was a Siamese mix. I hope Chessy is taking good care of Chance. RIP Chance.

So sorry to hear about your beautiful little Chance and my heart goes out to you.  Every time we lose a pet it's hard, but some are just more special and that was your Chance. He knows he was loved and wanted and that someone cared for him enough to take him off the street and give him a happy, safe home. It's devastating to see them suffer and have to make that awful decision and it hurts more than anything imaginable. We've had to do it quite a few times over the years and it never gets easier, but try to focus on the all the good days you had together, even though they were brief. We had to put our Matthew to sleep in January and that was horrendous, but we had him for 16 1/2 years and we were truly bonded with each other. We often feel that he's still here and I KNOW I heard him meowing this morning (our other cats sound different) so I think that when we have such a close bond that they do stay close. We have his ashes on the bedside table and when I'm gone he's going with me! Know that you're a wonderful, loving person to have given him that chance to be loved and wanted and your little one knows that and will probably stay close by even though you might not see him. Stay strong and always keep him close in your heart. Know that you always have friends here who understand all too well.