Need feedback about this vet visit... :/

I had seen this vet once before & also had a bad feeling but thought I might have just imagined it. She makes house calls & lives a street over so it is convenient. She has good reviews (assuming the are real). But last time she was talking with the neighbor about me in a loud voice, nothing horrible but still a little too gossipy for my taste.

So this time I was concerned about my cats teeth as I noticed quite a bit of tarter on his back molars. I am really amenable thought a 

though a bit nervous lately for other reasons. But I had a list of questions and also had asked for a general exam. She started by saying is he still FIV and I said I thought it's incurable and she said no lots of cats get over it. I actually got my hopes up even though I just decided when I got him to love him as is and in a way ignore the FIV & treat him as normal and expect him to be well. (I hope that makes sense, I really look after him well, home cook half his food, clip his nails, brush him etc. I know he is FIV but don't focus on it.)

So then I suddenly felt omg he can not have it anymore? She did the test and then said in a brusk way, Well he still has it. *sigh* Now I have to undo the false hope and go back to how I was before, which was not focusing on it. After all I will treat him the best I can either way. But she said if he doesn't have it she feels more confident giving him anesthesia for dental cleaning. :/

That's not the part I'm most upset about but she was not listening to me. She was asking me questions and then ignoring my answers. She asked if there was anything I wanted her to look at and I said yes, by his ear and his throat he had a bad skin reaction which was healing now but could she look. So she started looking at his tummy. Never looked at those 2 areas. And she acted like it was weird of me to ask?

Then I said could she LOOK at his nails as they seem to grow really fast and get that thick coating on them. I think it's just when he needs to scratch them on something more till it falls off. So then when I though she was just looking she starts clipping his nails and he cried out several times in a way I've NEVER heard him before. When she left I looked and ALL his nails are extremely cut and one is really bloody. omg what? I clip his nails really gently and a little every 2 weeks or so. Now I have to worry that they will heal and not have any problems. wth? Why did she do that? I didn't ask her to clip and then I said but are they okay, and she was like, oh yeah they are just normal.

(I have soaked them with warm water on cotton balls, do you think that will be okay?)

She was also just generally dismissive of me and being rude. But she wants me to bring him in to her next week to have his teeth cleaned. HAHAHAHAHA I think NOT. (I will get them cleaned but not by her.) She was so rough with him and he's a sweet little black thing I found emaciated by a dumpster. I think someone kicked him before I found him. I hated how she was handling him. He is really pliable and never acted like that before. He was seen by a vet when I got him and even though I didn't really like her either she was fine with him, and gentle and he was great. When I mentioned today that I've not seen him react like that before she seemed miffed and said well she wanted to make sure he wasn't going to bite anyone. 

After I told her already he is mainly indoor cat except when I take him out in my presence she said does he ever go out and hang out on the deck or the driveway, etc? I was confused about what she meant. I said, do you mean alone? She said You know just running around the yard.. ??? I said um no because he is an INDOOR cat and he only goes out with me  on a leash or in my arms. She then said well good because then he can't get rabies or infect another cat. .. ><  What was her point? I still don't know. She said yes he's an indoor cat but does he go out. ???

Then when the assistant was tallying up the bill and gave me a total the vet nearly shouted You forgot I clipped his nails! (Yeah, without anyone permission?) 

I just feel really upset now and it's my birthday. : ) I wanted to make sure he was okay and have a really relaxing day but am totally stressed and upset about & for my kitty and also with the way she spoke to me. Sorry for the wall of words, just had to get this out. Any feedback would be appreciated. : ) I need a hug.

I am so sorry  you had a bad experience.  I hope you find a vet that you are comfortable with.  I personally don't think there is a good reason for a vet to be rude or  dismissive.  We are paying for a service and I feel we have a right to be treated with dignity and respect.

Thank you so much Denice. There is a vet I really like, he is a bit of a drive but I don't care, I will take kitty to him. He is very gentle and sweet to the animals and the owners as well.  

Do you think his nails will be okay?  

His claws will be fine.  I did that with one of my  kitties claws once and she was fine.  The main thing is to keep them short enough  that they don't curl around and go into a foot pad.  You didn't say how old your kitty is.  My vet told me that kitties claws tend to grow faster as they get older and that I needed to keep a close eye on them now that they are 13 years old.

That is good news ~ thank you for sharing that & for your help today! Really needed that!  c : 

she sounds like a real jerk. personally, i would have refused to pay for the nail clipping since you didn't ask for it and she botched it anyway!

I agree, she sounds awful and I wouldn't be going back. His nails will be fine, she's just hit the quick. It probably stung when she did it but will heal really quickly, I've accidentally cut a little low once or twice on a kitty before (one of mine). Sometimes it surprises me who goes into a profession. Why be a vet if you don't seem to love the animals you're treating?

Thanks ellag! I felt better reading your comment ~ yes she is a jerk! I agree I shouldn't have paid.  At this point I don't want to have any more contact with her but I will write several detailed reviews when I stop having steam blowing out my ears.

 And yeah, total hack job on his nails. Then she acted angry at him for struggling after that. I told her I'd never seen him act so upset or cry like that and then she became more hostile & making weird snarky comments to me.  The best thing was to hear you call her a jerk because that describes her perfectly.

Tobilei ~ right? There are a million other professions but she clearly sees animals as something to expoit to get money and pad bills. I was thinking later that the only reason she wanted me to retest for FIV was to add that to the bill. Once she got blood (during which he was also struggling and extremely distressed) she no longer seemed to give a toss whether he had it or not.

Earlier she said she had never heard of cat grass or never heard of cats eating grass! She claims to own a cat. Idk. It was all surreal. I think that when she was holding him down she was probably hurting him, not doing it gently, he has a scratch on the back of his ear and on his neck that wasn't there before. ( A few choice words are coming to mind but I'll refrain)

I'm mostly glad to hear you say it will heal quickly.  (Obviously if she was kind and accidentally nicked one claw I would have totally understood.)  He seems pretty happy today though I've seem him licking them and hid under a table for several hours just after she left.  He's getting lots of love and cuddles and told how clever he is! I'm still taking a bit of warm water on a cotton ball and just dabbing his nails and the scratches on his ear and neck but I think it will be okay. I cooked him chicken today so he seems mostly focused on that, lol.  Anyway thank you very much for your comments. So glad I thought of this site because I really needed the support. :  ) I had like 3 bubble baths with candles already breathing in saying "calm" and out "stress out". lol. And some chocolate cake.

Catlike1 said:

 
Tobilei ~ right? There are a million other professions but she clearly sees animals as something to expoit to get money and pad bills. I was thinking later that the only reason she wanted me to retest for FIV was to add that to the bill. Once she got blood (during which he was also struggling and extremely distressed) she no longer seemed to give a toss whether he had it or not.

Earlier she said she had never heard of cat grass or never heard of cats eating grass! She claims to own a cat. Idk. It was all surreal. I think that when she was holding him down she was probably hurting him, not doing it gently, he has a scratch on the back of his ear and on his neck that wasn't there before. ( A few choice words are coming to mind but I'll refrain)

I'm mostly glad to hear you say it will heal quickly.  (Obviously if she was kind and accidentally nicked one claw I would have totally understood.)  He seems pretty happy today though I've seem him licking them and hid under a table for several hours just after she left.  He's getting lots of love and cuddles and told how clever he is! I'm still taking a bit of warm water on a cotton ball and just dabbing his nails and the scratches on his ear and neck but I think it will be okay. I cooked him chicken today so he seems mostly focused on that, lol.  Anyway thank you very much for your comments. So glad I thought of this site because I really needed the support. :  ) I had like 3 bubble baths with candles already breathing in saying "calm" and out "stress out". lol. And some chocolate cake.

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Chocolate cake makes everything better!

She sounds like she doesn't actually have much of a clue about cats! I feel a bit sorry for the one she owns if she actually does. Poor thing has a very unsympathetic owner!

I saw a vet once with my (now passed) kitty and he told me her kidney function wasn't good. When I asked if it was going to kill her he said "well yes, it will, but somethings gotta get them" and walked out the door! I had no idea if she was going to die immediately or in the far future. In the end I took her to another vet a few weeks later who repeated the test a few months later and her kidneys were fine! What killed her in the end had nothing to do with them. He didn't pat her, he wasn't nice to her or me and I never went back.

How's the baby now? Hopefully doing a bit better (and hopefully Mama's stress levels have returned to normal!)

Go with your gut on vets.  And your cat's gut.  If something doesn't feel right, it most likely isn't.  I wouldn't have paid for the nail clipping either, although it's always easier to think in hindsight.  I would also never use a vet who clips nails too short.  I do my dogs' myself and would rather do them five times as often than clip them too short.  It's a good way to have a peet who will always give you trouble about nail trimming.

I'm sorry it's taken me this long to get back here! My excuse is I've been dealing with migraines and food sensitivities and somehow time passes so quickly when I am sick. First of all thank so much for your kind words Tobilei. Even now it's really good to read and have your understanding and support with this.

And wow the vet you saw sounds equally inept and insensitive with animals and people. Not to mention an awful communicator - oh and just totally wrong in his diagnosis. I'm so glad you went on to another vet and  found out kitty was just fine! But how awful in the in between time for you. 

I also had a cat previously who actually did have a very bad cancer (pancreatic) and was misdiagnosed by a vet as having constipation. I kept telling him I felt like it was more and one night she just seemed to collapse and everything in me told me she was about to die in my arms. I p;honed him on his emergency number and he was very patronizing and said it was just gas or something. I instinctively rubbed her all over and that seemed to make her revive a bit. I finally insisted he take x rays thinking maybe she's swallowed something and he begrudgingly did and came back almost immediately and squeezed her tum very hard and she (well it was awful, she was clearly in terrible pain and she kind of foamed at the mouth) and then he announced that she had masses showing up in her xray. (So why was it necessary to squeeze her like that?) I totally freaked and felt I was dying right there and then he was like "We're closing now, you'll have to make another appt" and I was like what the hell? He'd been telling me for more than 6 months she was fine and had constipation. I feel such a fool now and luckily he was away next time and the other vet told me about a special cancer center. They were LOVELY and so so sweet to her and found out exactly what was wrong (which was awful- putting it mildly) and gave her pain meds and she was so happy on the ride home because she was finally out of pain. I had to have her put to sleep a few weeks later but I had the nice vet come out to my home and we did it outside in the sunshine after she chased butterflies and played. Sorry, don't know why this is coming out of me right now. It's just that I felt forever guilty about her suffering all that time and I was very trusting then and now I verge on paranoia that vets will have to prove to me that they are trustworthy and will need to answer all my questions and be open as to what they are doing. And obviously be kind to animals. I used to think all vets were James Harriet but sadly not the case. btw that vet lied and changed documents when he sent stuff to the cancer center. He wrote that the time I phoned late at night I just said she had a tummy ache and we chatted and she was fine, instead of writing that I was saying "She's collapsing!" I also found out that with pancreatic cancer some of the signs are a low temp, which they had told me over the last year that she had, but that it was fine, and he DELETED the temp from all the forms he sent to the cancer center. He also told me pancreatic cancer is VERY rare in cats' and that there was no way he could have known. (Sweet Jesus, then find another freaking job). Half of the staff in the office was being really really horrid to me the week just before she died. Like angry when I stopped in with a question. But I had to just take it at that point because I had to focus on my cat. Later I wrote a scathing review but still....it was a horrible time. 

Wow, I didn't intend to write that all out but it's still painful and your story of the vet who was not sweet to your kitty and then said scary extreme yet vague statements & leaving you cold gets my hackles up. I took this current kitty to another vet since and I watched VERY closely how the vet was handling him, if she was making eye contact with him, and how she answered my questions. I'm still not totally sure about her but she was very gentle and he was totally fine with her. I asked her the same question about his nails in the same way ( I deliberately didn't tell her about the other vet) and she gently looked at his toes and said she had looked at them already and noted that they looked very healthy. She explained that some get overgrown and then come off in a shell when they scratch. She also said You trim his nails don't you? in an approving way. She didn't touch any clippers and seemed to have no confusion about my question. But like I said I was ready to grab him if she did anything that felt wrong. (Still wish I'd done that last time)

As for his nails, I really wanted to add to this thread in case anyone ever had something similar, that everyone who said they would grow out fine were right! I would say in 1 week they seemed less painful, in 2 weeks they were much much better and in 3 weeks back to normal. However the first time I went to trim them at about 3 weeks he totally freaked and I felt really worried. So I backed off and a few days later held him extra gently and clipped the tiniest bit from one claw, then immediately gave him some warm food. After that he got back to normal pretty quickly. 

Another thing I did (tho I probably didn't have to) was after a week took a plastic basin of lukewarm water and a tiny pinch of epsom salts (like 1/8 teaspoon) and gently put his feet into it for a few moments and then gently wiped them with a towel and let him go. There was still blood in the claws and he did seem quite happy after i did that. Gave himself bath and all. I think it soothed them a little.

 I've written a massive amount but if it ever helps anyone ever I'm glad. It's definitely helped me to have the feed back & support.  And yes, I did finally feel better too!  ​Thanks for asking!  

Bridget said:

 
Go with your gut on vets.  And your cat's gut.  If something doesn't feel right, it most likely isn't.  I wouldn't have paid for the nail clipping either, although it's always easier to think in hindsight.  I would also never use a vet who clips nails too short.  I do my dogs' myself and would rather do them five times as often than clip them too short.  It's a good way to have a peet who will always give you trouble about nail trimming.

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Yes, ^ this exactly. 

I also think it is problematic that the jerk vet was talking about you, a client, to a neighbor. I realize that since the cat is the patient, it isn't like a doctor revealing stuff about a human patient but it was still incredibly unprofessional.

I'm sorry you had such a bad experience with that vet! She sounds really unprofessional and rude.. She should be someone that you feel comfortable talking to and bringing your kitty to without worrying she'll do more damage! To not even acknowledge that she clipped the nails a little too close would have really fired me up! Your kitty is lucky to have a loving mom like you    If you can or wanted to I'd write a review on your vet and note that she has been speaking about you and your cat to others.. as mentioned by Laura Mae even though this isn't your own personal health information which is protected under law that seems really poor of her to be speaking about your business to others! She sounds awful! I hope the new vet works out