Finally trapped Oskar! Next steps

As long as their is hissing it is best to wait a bit.  Yet if you are not observing any other behaviors (swishing tail, ears flat, growling, lunging, yowling, howling, etc...) then it might just be a warning.  Wait a few more days and see what happens, hissing by itself is not a big deal.  It's when it goes beyond hissing where you want to slow down.

Oskar looks wonderful on her cat tree!!  So happy she is using and enjoying it.

ShadowsRescue said:

As long as their is hissing it is best to wait a bit.  Yet if you are not observing any other behaviors (swishing tail, ears flat, growling, lunging, yowling, howling, etc...) then it might just be a warning.  Wait a few more days and see what happens, hissing by itself is not a big deal.  It's when it goes beyond hissing where you want to slow down.

Oskar looks wonderful on her cat tree!!  So happy she is using and enjoying it.

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We just had our first accidental gate-less visit. Catsby somehow made it across the gates and was waiting on top of the stairs as Oskar and I came up. She speed walked right past him and he followed her but I quickly picked him up cuz Oskar went into a corner where escape would have been hard for her. I didn't want him to corner her because she would probably become defensive. However, no hissing, now growling, no puffy tails, and I immediately had them share baby food inches away from the gate as a reward. I'm starting to realize that the location for the formal non-accidental intro is crucial but I'm having trouble brainstorming solutions. As of right now, Oskar is only comfy in the living room and kitchen area as well as her room. All other rooms she does not like to go into. While we can block off that one corner in the living room, I worry about her to running back down into her room and I may not be able to catch Catsby if he decided to chase after her. Man, this is hard! Now I don't know if I should do the first visit in a room she is uncomfy in (seems like such a bad idea) or allow them to meet in he living room and have my running shoes on?
Last night we tried to allow her free range while the resident cats were in the bedroom with us to increase her comfort level in all rooms but around 1am she was crying so much for me to come out. When I did come out she did not leave my side. Rubbed against me for a solid 10min crying and I ended up sleeping with her until 4am. Poor baby, I felt so bad for that decision.

However, overall comfort is increasing. A few evenings ago she actually jumped onto the couch by herself and fell asleep as I was watching TV

shadowsrescue For the past 2 days we have been doing let outs with Catsby and Oskar. So far so good I THINK, but I may be wrong and am hoping to get some clarification. No fights, that's good. However, Oskar sometimes (~ 5x/hour) hisses or growls at Catsby and pretends like she will attack but stops right in front of him and then just lets out a few more hisses. Catsby doesn't react, just sits and watches her. He never hissed/growled back. Neither has puffy tails or ears back. I've also observed that when they have a stand off, both suddenly drop to the floor onto their side, like they were shot. Then they just lay and look away. Or she will pretend attack and then fall down onto her side while Catsby sits up. Otherwise she is totally fine with him out. She plays, eats, grooms herself next to him without a care in the world. She often goes back down into her room and comes right back up, so maybe she's not THAT upset. I wonder, are these hissing/growling incidents an indicator that we should go back to sight visits? To me, they're communicating and are establishing some sort of relationship but I've only been in the cat biz for a year and I'm still learning.

AlexIsOnTofu said:

@ShadowsRescueFor the past 2 days we have been doing let outs with Catsby and Oskar. So far so good I THINK, but I may be wrong and am hoping to get some clarification. No fights, that's good. However, Oskar sometimes (~ 5x/hour) hisses or growls at Catsby and pretends like she will attack but stops right in front of him and then just lets out a few more hisses. Catsby doesn't react, just sits and watches her. He never hissed/growled back. Neither has puffy tails or ears back. I've also observed that when they have a stand off, both suddenly drop to the floor onto their side, like they were shot. Then they just lay and look away. Or she will pretend attack and then fall down onto her side while Catsby sits up. Otherwise she is totally fine with him out. She plays, eats, grooms herself next to him without a care in the world. She often goes back down into her room and comes right back up, so maybe she's not THAT upset. I wonder, are these hissing/growling incidents an indicator that we should go back to sight visits? To me, they're communicating and are establishing some sort of relationship but I've only been in the cat biz for a year and I'm still learning.

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As long as nothing happens after the hiss/growl then all should be fine.  You just need to be sure you are watching them closely at this time.  Since Catsby doesn't react that is a very good sign.  They are trying to communicate with each other as well as setting boundaries.  There also will come a time when all of the cats will have to establish who is alpha cat.  It may not be the cat who is alpha right now and it can change as time goes by. 

I wouldn't go back to sight visits since it doesn't escalate any further.  If swishing tails or flat ears comes about, I would separate the cats for a bit and then try again later.  If an attack would happen, I would keep the cats apart for a day or so and then try again.  It's also best to try to keep your emotions in check if this happens.  Just calmly separate them and put one of the cats away.

It sounds like all is going very well.  Oskar is so so lucky to have you!

shadowsrescue I'm happy you think things are going well. I do watch them like a hawk. She still hisses at him during let outs and has also swatted at him a few times but it seems mostly only when he is in her favorite spot (at the porch door) and when he plays with a wand toy. Is there anything I can do to help them adjust to each other aside from multiple scent swapping a day, mutual treat sessions, and allowing them to watch each other play?

We were thinking of trying to do a gate-less treat session with only Uszka today but I have serious doubts given that Catsby is such a sweetheart who never hisses back but Uszka I know WILL hiss and swat if Oskar initiates it.

AlexIsOnTofu said:

@ShadowsRescue I'm happy you think things are going well. I do watch them like a hawk. She still hisses at him during let outs and has also swatted at him a few times but it seems mostly only when he is in her favorite spot (at the porch door) and when he plays with a wand toy. Is there anything I can do to help them adjust to each other aside from multiple scent swapping a day, mutual treat sessions, and allowing them to watch each other play?

We were thinking of trying to do a gate-less treat session with only Uszka today but I have serious doubts given that Catsby is such a sweetheart who never hisses back but Uszka I know WILL hiss and swat if Oskar initiates it.

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It will just take time for them to get used to each other and set boundaries.  Just keep watching them so that it doesn't escalate past hissing and swats.

How have the interactions been going between Uszka and Oskar with the gate?  As long as they have been going well, it's worth a shot. 

I am so happy that Oskar is adjusting so well.

Uszka and Oskar eat inches away from each other and after they're done Usz just watches Oskar and Oskar ignores her. There were 2 hisses a few days ago but nothing serious.

I also don't intervene when Oskar hisses/swats at Catsby but instead talk softly to her and tell her that she's safe, which seems to really calm her down and redirect her attention. Overall she's really ok with Catsby but sometimes she just snaps, even when he's already showing her his belly and being submissive, she still precedes to swat at him.

Hi shadowsrescue ! Quick update and a couple questions. They've all been out together now for a few days with only a few instances of hissing and swatting. My concern right now is that Catsby and Uszka are constantly in Oskar's room on her windowsill, which I bet makes Oskar's safe haven not so safe anymore. Should I continue taking them out of there or for the sake of getting used to each other just let them all be?
I think Oskar's biggest challenge is still getting used to living indoors. So much pacing! Never sitting/laying down for more than a minute. She's always at the porch door where she used to come in and out. I installed pet safe screens in my windows (except the porch) in hopes that would allow her to just and smell and look (only have them open when I'm around). She's not that interested in that. I'm not sure how to help her make feel more at ease. Any suggestions?

Lastly, I worry about escape risk now that she has complete free range. My fiancé is a smoker and goes out on the porch often. I guess as long as she paces it means she wants out, right?

AlexIsOnTofu said:

@ShadowsRescue I'm happy you think things are going well. I do watch them like a hawk. She still hisses at him during let outs and has also swatted at him a few times but it seems mostly only when he is in her favorite spot (at the porch door) and when he plays with a wand toy. Is there anything I can do to help them adjust to each other aside from multiple scent swapping a day, mutual treat sessions, and allowing them to watch each other play?

We were thinking of trying to do a gate-less treat session with only Uszka today but I have serious doubts given that Catsby is such a sweetheart who never hisses back but Uszka I know WILL hiss and swat if Oskar initiates it.

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It will just take time for them to get used to each other and set boundaries.  Just keep watching them so that it doesn't escalate past hissing and swats.

How have the interactions been going between Uszka and Oskar with the gate?  As long as they have been going well, it's worth a shot. 

AlexIsOnTofu said:

Hi @ShadowsRescue! Quick update and a couple questions. They've all been out together now for a few days with only a few instances of hissing and swatting. My concern right now is that Catsby and Uszka are constantly in Oskar's room on her windowsill, which I bet makes Oskar's safe haven not so safe anymore. Should I continue taking them out of there or for the sake of getting used to each other just let them all be?
I think Oskar's biggest challenge is still getting used to living indoors. So much pacing! Never sitting/laying down for more than a minute. She's always at the porch door where she used to come in and out. I installed pet safe screens in my windows (except the porch) in hopes that would allow her to just and smell and look (only have them open when I'm around). She's not that interested in that. I'm not sure how to help her make feel more at ease. Any suggestions?

Lastly, I worry about escape risk now that she has complete free range. My fiancé is a smoker and goes out on the porch often. I guess as long as she paces it means she wants out, right?

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If you are still putting Oskar into her room while you are gone or she goes in there for alone time, I would keep the other cats out for now.  Yet if everyone is out and about all the time then there is no need.  The fact that she is pacing could be that she is nervous still.  Are you using any Feliway diffusers?  You also could try some Composure calming treats.  I think you are living outside of the US, but maybe there is something similar.  It will take her awhile to adjust.  Just be sure your fiance is very very very careful when he comes in and out. 

When I brought my feral boy, Marvin into my home, it took him a solid year to get used to living inside.  He stayed in his safe room for a long time and continued to use it when the household became too much for him.  It was his safe place for a long time.  If Oskar still goes in there for time alone, it would be best to keep the other two cats out. 

When she is pacing, have you tried playing with her.  Distraction is a great thing.  She also may always be a bit nervous.  When living outside a cat is often always on edge.  It will take her a while to adjust to inside and all of the sounds and routine.  My boy Marvin has adjusted nicely, but he is still spooked easily. 

ShadowsRescue said:

It will just take time for them to get used to each other and set boundaries.  Just keep watching them so that it doesn't escalate past hissing and swats.

How have the interactions been going between Uszka and Oskar with the gate?  As long as they have been going well, it's worth a shot. 


If you are still putting Oskar into her room while you are gone or she goes in there for alone time, I would keep the other cats out for now.  Yet if everyone is out and about all the time then there is no need.  The fact that she is pacing could be that she is nervous still.  Are you using any Feliway diffusers?  You also could try some Composure calming treats.  I think you are living outside of the US, but maybe there is something similar.  It will take her awhile to adjust.  Just be sure your fiance is very very very careful when he comes in and out. 

When I brought my feral boy, Marvin into my home, it took him a solid year to get used to living inside.  He stayed in his safe room for a long time and continued to use it when the household became too much for him.  It was his safe place for a long time.  If Oskar still goes in there for time alone, it would be best to keep the other two cats out. 

When she is pacing, have you tried playing with her.  Distraction is a great thing.  She also may always be a bit nervous.  When living outside a cat is often always on edge.  It will take her a while to adjust to inside and all of the sounds and routine.  My boy Marvin has adjusted nicely, but he is still spooked easily. 

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I actually live in Maryland I have a feliway plugged in in the living room and her room but I now realize that one may not be enough given open floor plan. I may have to purchase more. I actually put a calming collar on Uszka which has basically stopped the hissing. Would love to use that on Oskar too but I doubt I would get it on AND, even tho those Sentry collars claim to be breakaway, I strongly disagree. Have you tried those? Do you know of actual breakaway calming collars? Both girls are also getting calming treats with breakfast in addition to Spirit essences.

I always try to play with her when she's out but sometimes she's just too involved in pacing. I never thought about the emotional toll this process would have on me. It breaks my heart to see her this restless and unhappy. I know it's for the best and that 1-2years of adjusting will be worth the long and good life she will ultimately have. However, it hurts to see her that way and not be able to do much more than I already do.

I was hoping that my 2 resident cats would help her adjust but she does not trust them. I have observed them trying to play with her but she gets upset. I know her first experiences with Uszka were not good and maybe can't be undone Catsby on the other hand, despite getting hissed and swatted at, he still seeks her out. Last night she was mewoing at lot and he got out of bed to just sit by her.

Hi everyone, I'm having a hard time with Oskar and I'm again looking for some ideas and support. It's been 6 weeks since taking Oskar in and while we are making progress in many areas, others are not going well. Specifically, the meowing and pacing. She stopped mewoing during the day a long time ago but at night, it's constant. She has now free range of the house and paces and meows ALL NIGHT. I haven't slept more than 3 hours in what feels like forever. I even walked down the aisle last Friday on only 2 hours of sleep because of the meowing. I don't know what to do or how to help her. What I noticed (and I know I need to stop it because it only reinforces the behavior), when I get up to calm her down, she stops and wants to cuddle and play like the sweetest cat you've ever seen. As soon as I go back to bed, she starts again. It seems she cries more so for is human interaction than to be let back out. She sleeps all day despite me trying to get her up to play, so I understand that she is ready party at night.

She is also still afraid of my cats so their attempts of getting her to play (day or night) have been fruitless. They have been seeking her out a lot regardless tho, like sleeping next to her under her bed. Very sweet.

My in laws and parents have been saying that since its been 6 weeks and there's no change in pacing and mewoing, maybe she cant be domesticated and I should let her go. I don't think so. I see her potential. But what can I do to help her make progress in that area as well?

AlexIsOnTofu said:

Hi everyone, I'm having a hard time with Oskar and I'm again looking for some ideas and support. It's been 6 weeks since taking Oskar in and while we are making progress in many areas, others are not going well. Specifically, the meowing and pacing. She stopped mewoing during the day a long time ago but at night, it's constant. She has now free range of the house and paces and meows ALL NIGHT. I haven't slept more than 3 hours in what feels like forever. I even walked down the aisle last Friday on only 2 hours of sleep because of the meowing. I don't know what to do or how to help her. What I noticed (and I know I need to stop it because it only reinforces the behavior), when I get up to calm her down, she stops and wants to cuddle and play like the sweetest cat you've ever seen. As soon as I go back to bed, she starts again. It seems she cries more so for is human interaction than to be let back out. She sleeps all day despite me trying to get her up to play, so I understand that she is ready party at night.

She is also still afraid of my cats so their attempts of getting her to play (day or night) have been fruitless. They have been seeking her out a lot regardless tho, like sleeping next to her under her bed. Very sweet.

My in laws and parents have been saying that since its been 6 weeks and there's no change in pacing and mewoing, maybe she cant be domesticated and I should let her go. I don't think so. I see her potential. But what can I do to help her make progress in that area as well?

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I am sorry you are having problems with Oskar.  Yet I hope you do not decide to let her back out.  6 weeks is not that long at all.  The feral I brought inside took one solid year to adjust.  Since she is meowing and pacing so much at night, you might consider putting her in her safe room with the door closed at night.  You could leave a radio on for her or place a sound machine ( white noise) in the room.  Have you tried Composure liquid Max?  It really helped my guy to stop meowing and crying at night.  He paced in his room, but he stayed in his safe room each night for one year.  Having the entire house that soon may just be too much for her. 

You also could call your vet and ask about some Prozac or something simliar to help her adjust.  I would at least call the vet and talk about the situation.  Yet some vets will just tell you to put her outside that she is too feral.  Oskar is definitely NOT a feral cat.  She loves the petting and human contact that is NOT a feral cat.  If you put her back outside she will have to worry about protecting herself from all of the outside dangers.  She needs time. 

I would stop getting up with her.  Just allow her to meow and pace.  Use a sound machine yourself to drown out the sounds.  You are reinforcing her by going to her each time.  Any chance she would sleep in your room?

For now, I really would put her in the safe room at night.  Make sure she can't hurt herself.  Try the Composure liquid Max.  You may need to order it online.  It is stronger than the calming treats they sell and it's easy to mix into wet food.  I used to double the dose during the day ( yet you would want to double at night) and give a regular dose at night ( you could give the regular dose during the day). 

As for not wanting to play with the other cats, that too will take time.  It took my guy forever to learn to play and as far as interacting with my other cat, it was closer to 18 months.  Remember that Oskar has had a lot of change in her life.  She was trapped, spayed and moved inside.  Then you allowed her to meet other cats.  She also had to learn to trust humans again.  That is so much in just 6 weeks. 

Your need for sleep is very very important. 

Congrats on your wedding!!  How very exciting for you!!

ShadowsRescue said:

I am sorry you are having problems with Oskar.  Yet I hope you do not decide to let her back out.  6 weeks is not that long at all.  The feral I brought inside took one solid year to adjust.  Since she is meowing and pacing so much at night, you might consider putting her in her safe room with the door closed at night.  You could leave a radio on for her or place a sound machine ( white noise) in the room.  Have you tried Composure liquid Max?  It really helped my guy to stop meowing and crying at night.  He paced in his room, but he stayed in his safe room each night for one year.  Having the entire house that soon may just be too much for her. 

You also could call your vet and ask about some Prozac or something simliar to help her adjust.  I would at least call the vet and talk about the situation.  Yet some vets will just tell you to put her outside that she is too feral.  Oskar is definitely NOT a feral cat.  She loves the petting and human contact that is NOT a feral cat.  If you put her back outside she will have to worry about protecting herself from all of the outside dangers.  She needs time. 

I would stop getting up with her.  Just allow her to meow and pace.  Use a sound machine yourself to drown out the sounds.  You are reinforcing her by going to her each time.  Any chance she would sleep in your room?

For now, I really would put her in the safe room at night.  Make sure she can't hurt herself.  Try the Composure liquid Max.  You may need to order it online.  It is stronger than the calming treats they sell and it's easy to mix into wet food.  I used to double the dose during the day ( yet you would want to double at night) and give a regular dose at night ( you could give the regular dose during the day). 

As for not wanting to play with the other cats, that too will take time.  It took my guy forever to learn to play and as far as interacting with my other cat, it was closer to 18 months.  Remember that Oskar has had a lot of change in her life.  She was trapped, spayed and moved inside.  Then you allowed her to meet other cats.  She also had to learn to trust humans again.  That is so much in just 6 weeks. 

Your need for sleep is very very important. 

Congrats on your wedding!!  How very exciting for you!!

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God no! I would never let her go, at least not after only 6 weeks! I love her dearly and know she will come around at some point!

I just ordered the Compusure Liquid Max. Thanks so much for letting me know about this! My vet did recommend Prozac over the L-tryptophan I've been giving her due to emerging evidence about toxicity. However, before I take that drastic measure, I'll try the Composure Liquid.

My only reason for letting her out at night is that she literally sleeps all day and doesn't come out of her safe room all that much. If I locked her up at night, she'd be in there 24/7. Do you think it's possible to start changing her schedule? My cats are up from 6-10am and then 6-11pm and they sleep through the night. The other problem also remains that she does not play with any toys by herself. I throw balls/mice etc and she just looks at me as if I'm kidding ("Come on, mom! I've hunted REAL mice!"). So self-occupation at night is out.

AlexIsOnTofu said:

 

ShadowsRescue said:

I am sorry you are having problems with Oskar.  Yet I hope you do not decide to let her back out.  6 weeks is not that long at all.  The feral I brought inside took one solid year to adjust.  Since she is meowing and pacing so much at night, you might consider putting her in her safe room with the door closed at night.  You could leave a radio on for her or place a sound machine ( white noise) in the room.  Have you tried Composure liquid Max?  It really helped my guy to stop meowing and crying at night.  He paced in his room, but he stayed in his safe room each night for one year.  Having the entire house that soon may just be too much for her. 

You also could call your vet and ask about some Prozac or something simliar to help her adjust.  I would at least call the vet and talk about the situation.  Yet some vets will just tell you to put her outside that she is too feral.  Oskar is definitely NOT a feral cat.  She loves the petting and human contact that is NOT a feral cat.  If you put her back outside she will have to worry about protecting herself from all of the outside dangers.  She needs time. 

I would stop getting up with her.  Just allow her to meow and pace.  Use a sound machine yourself to drown out the sounds.  You are reinforcing her by going to her each time.  Any chance she would sleep in your room?

For now, I really would put her in the safe room at night.  Make sure she can't hurt herself.  Try the Composure liquid Max.  You may need to order it online.  It is stronger than the calming treats they sell and it's easy to mix into wet food.  I used to double the dose during the day ( yet you would want to double at night) and give a regular dose at night ( you could give the regular dose during the day). 

As for not wanting to play with the other cats, that too will take time.  It took my guy forever to learn to play and as far as interacting with my other cat, it was closer to 18 months.  Remember that Oskar has had a lot of change in her life.  She was trapped, spayed and moved inside.  Then you allowed her to meet other cats.  She also had to learn to trust humans again.  That is so much in just 6 weeks. 

Your need for sleep is very very important. 

Congrats on your wedding!!  How very exciting for you!!

Click to expand...

God no! I would never let her go, at least not after only 6 weeks! I love her dearly and know she will come around at some point!

I just ordered the Compusure Liquid Max. Thanks so much for letting me know about this! My vet did recommend Prozac over the L-tryptophan I've been giving her due to emerging evidence about toxicity. However, before I take that drastic measure, I'll try the Composure Liquid.

My only reason for letting her out at night is that she literally sleeps all day and doesn't come out of her safe room all that much. If I locked her up at night, she'd be in there 24/7. Do you think it's possible to start changing her schedule? My cats are up from 6-10am and then 6-11pm and they sleep through the night. The other problem also remains that she does not play with any toys by herself. I throw balls/mice etc and she just looks at me as if I'm kidding ("Come on, mom! I've hunted REAL mice!"). So self-occupation at night is out.

Click to expand...

The Composure works pretty quickly.  Yet be sure to double the dose to begin with.  It states to do that on the directions.  Give it a week or so to work and then if it doesn't you might want to consider  something stronger.  It just may be to get her over the hump.

My guy was in his safe room 24/7 for the first 3-4 months.  Then he was only out for a few hours when I could supervise.  It may just be too overwhelming for her to be out and about at night especially since she seems to want to be with you.

I would try playing with her alone in her safe room.  You need to try string, wand toys, hiding a string under a blanket and slowly pulling it out, da bird, toys that squeak, etc.  The key is to find what she likes.  My guy had no idea how to play and was very afraid of most toys.  Yet after trying and trying, he loved a simple shoe string.  He loved it even more when I covered it with a towel and slowly or quickly pulled it out.  Catnip was another savior.  He loved catnip.  I would often give him a few toys at night.

If she is alone all day and then sleeps, you will really need to get her active and moving when you are home.  If she is too afraid or uninterested in playing around the other cats, just do it in her safe room.  Do you have gates or a screen door you could use on her room that she could still watch or hear what is going on in the house? 

I also would be sure to keep the other cats out of her safe room for now.  She really needs a place of her own.  

Yes, she may spend a lot of time alone in her safe room.  Just make it as comfortable as you can.  Is there a window or cat tree where she can look out?  Is it possible to hang a bird feeder? 

I do believe that she will calm down and adjust.  For a stray cat that has feral like tendencies it can take awhile.  It may take 6 months to a year and she may still always be skittish or shy.  Yet she is safe in your home.

It took Marvin so long to adjust.  Yet he was safe.  Once he started getting comfortable, things just all fell into place.  It just took lots of time and lots and lots and lots of patience.

shadowsrescue the Composure Liquid is amazing! Mewoing has almost stopped. She even fell asleep on the living room carpet next to Catsby while playing and jumps onto the bed at night to say hi. I'm seeing huge progress, like if I call her, she comes right upstairs and she even comes up to greet me as soon as I get home.

I'm having trouble understanding Uszka, however. 70% of the time Uszka leaves Oskar alone, 10% she chases her in a playful fashion, but 20% she chases her in an aggressive manner. I don't want to go back to separating them since they're all so much happier not being locked up (Uszka actually ruined my office carpet by peeing on it every time she was locked up). Oskar also loves the freedom of coming upstairs whenever she wants. But I'm concerned that the 20% of negative experiences with Uszka will delay or halt domestication/socialization. I'm still doing multiple scent swaps per day and mutual treat sessions. When I see Usz staring at her, I redirect her attention with toys.

AlexIsOnTofu said:

 

ShadowsRescue said:

I am sorry you are having problems with Oskar.  Yet I hope you do not decide to let her back out.  6 weeks is not that long at all.  The feral I brought inside took one solid year to adjust.  Since she is meowing and pacing so much at night, you might consider putting her in her safe room with the door closed at night.  You could leave a radio on for her or place a sound machine ( white noise) in the room.  Have you tried Composure liquid Max?  It really helped my guy to stop meowing and crying at night.  He paced in his room, but he stayed in his safe room each night for one year.  Having the entire house that soon may just be too much for her. 

You also could call your vet and ask about some Prozac or something simliar to help her adjust.  I would at least call the vet and talk about the situation.  Yet some vets will just tell you to put her outside that she is too feral.  Oskar is definitely NOT a feral cat.  She loves the petting and human contact that is NOT a feral cat.  If you put her back outside she will have to worry about protecting herself from all of the outside dangers.  She needs time. 

I would stop getting up with her.  Just allow her to meow and pace.  Use a sound machine yourself to drown out the sounds.  You are reinforcing her by going to her each time.  Any chance she would sleep in your room?

For now, I really would put her in the safe room at night.  Make sure she can't hurt herself.  Try the Composure liquid Max.  You may need to order it online.  It is stronger than the calming treats they sell and it's easy to mix into wet food.  I used to double the dose during the day ( yet you would want to double at night) and give a regular dose at night ( you could give the regular dose during the day). 

As for not wanting to play with the other cats, that too will take time.  It took my guy forever to learn to play and as far as interacting with my other cat, it was closer to 18 months.  Remember that Oskar has had a lot of change in her life.  She was trapped, spayed and moved inside.  Then you allowed her to meet other cats.  She also had to learn to trust humans again.  That is so much in just 6 weeks. 

Your need for sleep is very very important. 

Congrats on your wedding!!  How very exciting for you!!

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God no! I would never let her go, at least not after only 6 weeks! I love her dearly and know she will come around at some point!

I just ordered the Compusure Liquid Max. Thanks so much for letting me know about this! My vet did recommend Prozac over the L-tryptophan I've been giving her due to emerging evidence about toxicity. However, before I take that drastic measure, I'll try the Composure Liquid.

My only reason for letting her out at night is that she literally sleeps all day and doesn't come out of her safe room all that much. If I locked her up at night, she'd be in there 24/7. Do you think it's possible to start changing her schedule? My cats are up from 6-10am and then 6-11pm and they sleep through the night. The other problem also remains that she does not play with any toys by herself. I throw balls/mice etc and she just looks at me as if I'm kidding ("Come on, mom! I've hunted REAL mice!"). So self-occupation at night is out.

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The Composure works pretty quickly.  Yet be sure to double the dose to begin with.  It states to do that on the directions.  Give it a week or so to work and then if it doesn't you might want to consider  something stronger.  It just may be to get her over the hump.

My guy was in his safe room 24/7 for the first 3-4 months.  Then he was only out for a few hours when I could supervise.  It may just be too overwhelming for her to be out and about at night especially since she seems to want to be with you.

I would try playing with her alone in her safe room.  You need to try string, wand toys, hiding a string under a blanket and slowly pulling it out, da bird, toys that squeak, etc.  The key is to find what she likes.  My guy had no idea how to play and was very afraid of most toys.  Yet after trying and trying, he loved a simple shoe string.  He loved it even more when I covered it with a towel and slowly or quickly pulled it out.  Catnip was another savior.  He loved catnip.  I would often give him a few toys at night.

If she is alone all day and then sleeps, you will really need to get her active and moving when you are home.  If she is too afraid or uninterested in playing around the other cats, just do it in her safe room.  Do you have gates or a screen door you could use on her room that she could still watch or hear what is going on in the house? 

I also would be sure to keep the other cats out of her safe room for now.  She really needs a place of her own.  

Yes, she may spend a lot of time alone in her safe room.  Just make it as comfortable as you can.  Is there a window or cat tree where she can look out?  Is it possible to hang a bird feeder? 

I do believe that she will calm down and adjust.  For a stray cat that has feral like tendencies it can take awhile.  It may take 6 months to a year and she may still always be skittish or shy.  Yet she is safe in your home.

It took Marvin so long to adjust.  Yet he was safe.  Once he started getting comfortable, things just all fell into place.  It just took lots of time and lots and lots and lots of patience.

AlexIsOnTofu said:

@ShadowsRescue the Composure Liquid is amazing! Mewoing has almost stopped. She even fell asleep on the living room carpet next to Catsby while playing and jumps onto the bed at night to say hi. I'm seeing huge progress, like if I call her, she comes right upstairs and she even comes up to greet me as soon as I get home.

I'm having trouble understanding Uszka, however. 70% of the time Uszka leaves Oskar alone, 10% she chases her in a playful fashion, but 20% she chases her in an aggressive manner. I don't want to go back to separating them since they're all so much happier not being locked up (Uszka actually ruined my office carpet by peeing on it every time she was locked up). Oskar also loves the freedom of coming upstairs whenever she wants. But I'm concerned that the 20% of negative experiences with Uszka will delay or halt domestication/socialization. I'm still doing multiple scent swaps per day and mutual treat sessions. When I see Usz staring at her, I redirect her attention with toys.

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I am so glad the composure is helping.  You could also try giving some to Uszka.  It might help her feel a bit calmer about the situation of having a new cat around.  When my two were working things out, I gave them both Composure and it made a big difference. 

Now is the time when they are trying to figure things out.  Try your best to limit the chasing and redirecting is the best approach.  It will settle down.  Just watch to be sure it doesn't escalate.  The cats do need to work out a few things such as who is top cat.  Uszka might very well be top cat so she is letting Oskar know.  Also just watch to see how Oskar reacts to the chasing.  If she comes right back out then that's a good sign.  Yet if he scares her and it takes hours for her to reappear then you have to do your best to stop Uszka.  I don't think you need to separate them right now as long as things stay this way. 

My two had a huge problem with chasing and then cornering in a certain area.  I found that extra Feliway plug ins placed in areas where the chasing occurs helped.  It's awful how expensive they are, but I did find that having lots of them helped. 

I started both on the Compusure the day I got it but I just increased Uszka's dose to see if that helps, and she also wears the pheromone collar. I also have 1 regular feliway in the kitchen, bedroom, and safe room and 1 multi-cat in the living room where most of the chasing occurs. As for Oskar, she generally doesnt hide or run into her safe room, just runs away and then goes about her regular business but avoids walking past Uszka. However, this morning was pretty bad (lots of chasing) and Oskar for the first time ran into her safe room and took a solid 15min to come back up. I just don't get it. We including Oskar get it that Usz is top cat (Oskar often lays down when she approaches and never retaliates) but Usz still needs to prove something. I would hate to go back and lock up Oskar because she just loves hanging out upstairs (see picture or Oskar and Usz last night).

[quote name="ShadowsRescue" url="/t/320426/finally-trapped-oskar-next-steps/30#post_4064478]

Now is the time when they are trying to figure things out.  Try your best to limit the chasing and redirecting is the best approach.  It will settle down.  Just watch to be sure it doesn't escalate.  The cats do need to work out a few things such as who is top cat.  Uszka might very well be top cat so she is letting Oskar know.  Also just watch to see how Oskar reacts to the chasing.  If she comes right back out then that's a good sign.  Yet if he scares her and it takes hours for her to reappear then you have to do your best to stop Uszka.  I don't think you need to separate them right now as long as things stay this way. 

My two had a huge problem with chasing and then cornering in a certain area.  I found that extra Feliway plug ins placed in areas where the chasing occurs helped.  It's awful how expensive they are, but I did find that having lots of them helped. 
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Hi ShadowsRescue, I'm a little bit at a loss of how to proceed. It appears that Uszka's behavior toward Oskar has resulted in Oskar being pretty afraid of Uszka. While Oskar previously simply avoided Uszka while still remaining in the same areas, she now runs down when Uszka is out and about. They eat just fine right next to each other but after that she does not want to be around Uszka. Now the thing is, Uszka doesn't even need to do anything but just look at Oskar, and Oskar takes off. Uszka's chasing has decreased significantly and she now seems to often just run up to Oskar wanting to interact (no more hissing or growling, ears forward, no puffy tail). I worry that if she keeps avoiding Uszka by staying in her room that she will not learn that Usz is actually not that dangerous.

Oskar was just starting to seem comfortable in the home - napping on the couch, coming upstairs many time throughout the day, etc, and now it seems we are taking so many steps back. Oskar is very upfront with Catsby, often smacking him when he is annoying, and that seems to allow her to feel at ease around him. Although this may sound awful, I wish Oskar would just once give Uszka a good smack when she bothers her. Maybe that would help her do her own thing while being around Uszka.

Any ideas or suggestions?

I think you have to be patient.  Keep encouraging Oskar to be out and about when she gets scared with Uszka.  Keep letting Oskar know that you will keep her safe.  Uszka has let it be known that she is top cat and Oskar now is a bit afraid.  This is pretty normal.  As long as they are not hurting each other, you just have to let this work itself out. 

Do you have lots of up high space in the main part of your house?  I am thinking cat trees or perches that are up?  It might be good if one of the cats would like to remain up high while the other is down low.  I have one tree dweller and one bush dweller.  This helped as my top cat liked it up high in the cat tree while the other liked it low or under things. 

Just keep telling Oskar she is safe and try to encourage her to come out when Uszka is out and about.  She has to learn that you will protect her and that Uszka will not hurt her.  This could take awhile.  Yet it's a very good sign that Uszka is not chasing or hissing or puffy tail.

I think this part of introductions is the hardest.  You have done the hard part and and now you just have to be patient and allow the cat to settle and establish a routine. 

Also be sure that during all of this you remain calm and matter of fact.  Try not to coddle Oskar, but just tell her she is safe and you hope she chooses to come out and interact.  Do not scold Uszka unless things get really out of hand.  Instead try to redirect.  I found that when I was stressed and on edge, the cats were not settled at all.  I often would sit in the room and just constantly watch the cats.  This did not help things at all.  The cats knew I was nervous therefore they were on edge.  I oftened wished there was Composure for me too!!

You will get through this, but it may take awhile before all is settled.  Remember my two took one solid year to just be comfortable out and about with each other.  Then it was another 6 months before they started to like and enjoy each other.  It's a process and cats like to take their own sweet time.

shadowsrescue thank you for the encouraging words!!!!

Uszka and Oskar both don't like to go up on things, Catsby is the only one who uses vertical space. I do need to stop coddling Oskar tho. You're right. I also always sit on the ground when she's out and about to try to get her to play and redirect Usz when she has that look in her face. I just want upstairs to be fun so she keeps coming out.

On the bright side, I don't think Oskar is petrified of Uszka. Just today during tuna snack time she finished hers and put her face right into Uszka's plate and they both ate together until I removed Oskar (Uszka did not care in the least and afterwards they smelled noses until Oskar got scared, growled and ran off).

Did your boy also struggle with being out an about due to fear of your resident cats? Did that progressively get better?