Will cat socialize?

I've had a new kitten (9 months) for two weeks come Saturday. She has continued to hiss when I come near her box and she won't let me pet or come near her. She has played with a toy sometimes, but is usually very on-edge and anxious. She has eaten food out of my hands several times, but once or twice, when my hand accidentally moved, she swatted it. I am keeping her in the back portion of my apartment, as we have another cat who is in the front area. I know that she has a lot to get used to, but I am a bit worried that she may not fully socialize to me and my partner. The hissing and swatting behavior worries me a bit. She was previously semi-feral as a baby, but was socialized and bonded with her first rescuer. I imagine the answer to this question is "just wait", but how long do you all think I should wait for her to socialize? Like, if she hasn't bonded after a month (or 2?), should I assume that she may not ever? I'm afraid she may have reverted to semi-feral and may just not bond...   I am not eager to "give up" on her, but I am trying to prepare myself for the worst. 

 My current crew are all "tamed" semi-ferals and strays, so from experience, it will take as long as it takes. Sybil took about 1 month to warm up to having us around, Random took almost 2 months, Wendel took almost 2 years - 6 months before we could touch him, a year before we could really pet him, 2 years before he would actively seek us out for company. Six year later, and I'm still the only one who can pick him up. How long it takes honestly depends on the cat.

There are a few things you can do to help her get used to you, though. You can try feeding her on or near a dirty shirt that smells like you, just to help her get used to your smells. I would sit and read to my guys when they were first confined - it got them used to hearing my voice and being in my presence without me expecting anything of them. The biggest thing is just to be around her without trying to interact directly with them. Random spent his first few weeks with us hissing at us from behind a cupboard.

Often semi-ferals do bond, but they can take a long time and will often pick only one or two people to bond to. The fact that your girl is still young bodes well - Wendel was over 2 when he came to us and I do think that's one of the reasons he took so long.

You can check out our Caring for Strays and Ferals forum ( http://www.thecatsite.com/f/9/caring-for-strays-and-ferals ), too. They usually have many more ideas for acclimatizing and socializing tough cases.   

We took in a 7 month old kitten who was in isolation during her important socialization period, due to ringworm.

She lived under our bed and didnt let us go near her for weeks. We just kept sitting in the room and giving her treats. As the days went by, she associated us with good things. In the beginning, I could only even get her to eat tuna off a really long spoon.

I think the real turning point for her was when we got a couple baby gates and stacked them in the doorway. When we got home from work, we'd put them up and leave them there. The sounds of us going about our day, making dinner, etc. really got her used to us. It took a long time, but she eventually got closer and closer to the gate, until she was eventually integrated into the rest of the home.

I say you should just hang out in the room, read/talk out loud and offer treats when possible. Let her figure you guys out and eventually she'll realize everything is ok.

For a little while, I thought we'd never get her bonded. But it happened!

Some cats just have their own timelines for this kinda thing. I took in Sara when she was four years old, and she had anxiety issues which meant she didn't really bond with us for YEARS. I would just go at her pace. So yes, my answer is "just wait". And don't try too hard. Let things happen naturally of their own accord. It will happen

Thanks for the advice. We've now introduced the kitten to our older cat. Things seem to be going okay relatively. The kitten seems more confident and is walking around and exploring our apartment. However, she has been sort of running up to our older cat and hissing or "swiping" at him. I think she may partly be trying to "play", but is a bit confused by her desire to play and her fear. Do you think this is normal kitten behavior, or is she really too aggressive? 

Also, our older cat has used the kitten's litter box once. I caught him trying to a second time and moved him away. Idea of how to get him to not do that? 

 

LillyKitty said:

For a little while, I thought we'd never get her bonded. But it happened!

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@LillyKitty   How long did it take before you could pet the kitten?