I need your help :(

mycutenala · May 25, 2016

Hi everyone! My name is Mariel, Now let me introduce my kitten. I have a kitty named Nala, she is a stray cat I adopted from a neighbor who took care of stray cats. I got her at a pretty young age, around 3 months old. I'm having a few problems with her right now... Sometimes i just don't feel the loving and cuddly cat i want her to be because of these problems:

First Problem
I live in a household where EVERYONE hates cats. I am the only cat-lover in my family, so basically they try their best not to hate Nala. Unfortunately, My sister's behavior towards my cat is very bad. She would play with her by lifting her arms like a bear trying to attack my cat and my cat would try to fight back. This makes Nala a bit suspicious whenever I pet her, and I don't want her to feel this way. I want her to know that im trustworthy and that I love her.

Second Problem
She does NOT follow my orders at all. I keep her only in my room because I do not like seeing her our of my site, I want to be able to see what she does all the time. So when she does get out, i try to call her, but she does not care at all. She does whatever she wants, and it's not nice. When I do try to get her, she'll run away and hide. Sometimes she'd be lucky and see the attic door open, filled with tons of dust and dirty things which I really hate because it's hard to get her out of there because as i said, she does NOT follow me even if you have her favorite toy or treat. It's really frustrating sometimes because I feel like she does this on purpose, she wants me to chase her and I hate it.

Although of course at times I get her, put her beside my bed and she'll sleep like a little baby and it's adorable. I wish she'll do that without me getting her

I also play with her a lot, she knows how to play fetch and she like playing with a stick and string tied with a toy in the end.

Could anyone give me some tips about Nala? I really want her to trust me and I'm having a hard time. Thank you lots!

-Mariel

molly92 · May 25, 2016

Keeping her away from your family members and in your room is a good idea. Ideally they'd learn not to do things that scare her, but that's not something you have much control over.

When you approach her with your hands to pet her, be very careful not to imitate the motions that your sister was using. Come at her from below instead of above. Start out by offering her a closed fist (rather than an open grabby hand) to sniff, and let her decide if she wants to be pet by it if she rubs against it, or if she's not in the mood if she walks away. Letting her know that she has the choice to refuse human contact if she doesn't want it will give her a sense of control and she will be much more comfortable and trusting of you. Also don't be offended if she doesn't feel like cuddling, because kittens are very active and if they have the energy to be playing, they will be! Play is more important than anything else! She'll outgrow this as she gets older, don't worry.

Keep your room full of toys to play with and lots of things to climb on and explore, but also rotate the toys and change up the arrangement of things every now and then so it will seem new and exciting. That's part of the allure of sneaking out to explore the rest of the house, is that it's different! But there's also the fact that the rest of the house is hidden behind a solid door that she can only get the occasional glimpse of that make sneaking out extra fun, so you're not going to be able to curb that urge entirely. She's a kitten, it's very normal kitten behavior to get into places she's not supposed to be! They love to explore every weird nook and cranny. She'll probably outgrow that as well, but in the meantime don't be mad at her, because kittens do not understand that. They can't make the association between going a certain place and you being upset. Part of why she won't come back might be because she can tell that you are upset and she doesn't like it when you're mad, though. But another big part might be that she does think it's a fun game of hide and seek.

To teach her to come when called, you have to start small. Be prepared that training kittens can be difficult because of their short attention spans, but it can be done. You don't have to have long exhausting sessions. Lots of short little moments here and there will add up. Pick something to say when you want her to come and be consistent, like "Come, Nala." Stand a couple feet away from her and offer her a treat or her favorite toy as you call her. Do this over and over until she's very consistent, and then you can move farther away. When she gets really good at it, start calling her when she's distracted in the middle of playing with something else, and always reward her with her special treat and lots of praise. The better she gets at it, the more likely she will drop what she's doing in the middle of an escape and come running.

mycutenala · May 25, 2016

Molly92 said:
Keeping her away from your family members and in your room is a good idea. Ideally they'd learn not to do things that scare her, but that's not something you have much control over.

When you approach her with your hands to pet her, be very careful not to imitate the motions that your sister was using. Come at her from below instead of above. Start out by offering her a closed fist (rather than an open grabby hand) to sniff, and let her decide if she wants to be pet by it if she rubs against it, or if she's not in the mood if she walks away. Letting her know that she has the choice to refuse human contact if she doesn't want it will give her a sense of control and she will be much more comfortable and trusting of you. Also don't be offended if she doesn't feel like cuddling, because kittens are very active and if they have the energy to be playing, they will be! Play is more important than anything else! She'll outgrow this as she gets older, don't worry.

Keep your room full of toys to play with and lots of things to climb on and explore, but also rotate the toys and change up the arrangement of things every now and then so it will seem new and exciting. That's part of the allure of sneaking out to explore the rest of the house, is that it's different! But there's also the fact that the rest of the house is hidden behind a solid door that she can only get the occasional glimpse of that make sneaking out extra fun, so you're not going to be able to curb that urge entirely. She's a kitten, it's very normal kitten behavior to get into places she's not supposed to be! They love to explore every weird nook and cranny. She'll probably outgrow that as well, but in the meantime don't be mad at her, because kittens do not understand that. They can't make the association between going a certain place and you being upset. Part of why she won't come back might be because she can tell that you are upset and she doesn't like it when you're mad, though. But another big part might be that she does think it's a fun game of hide and seek.

To teach her to come when called, you have to start small. Be prepared that training kittens can be difficult because of their short attention spans, but it can be done. You don't have to have long exhausting sessions. Lots of short little moments here and there will add up. Pick something to say when you want her to come and be consistent, like "Come, Nala." Stand a couple feet away from her and offer her a treat or her favorite toy as you call her. Do this over and over until she's very consistent, and then you can move farther away. When she gets really good at it, start calling her when she's distracted in the middle of playing with something else, and always reward her with her special treat and lots of praise. The better she gets at it, the more likely she will drop what she's doing in the middle of an escape and come running.

Thank you for your reply! I'll do all those things for sure.

margd · May 25, 2016

@Molly92 has given you some excellent advice and you really can't go wrong with it. Here's an article on behavior modification that might help:
[article="32493"]The Dos And Donts Of Cat Behavior Modification [/article]
Remember, playing is a great way to bond with Nala. You might want to invest in a wand toy like Da Bird. Most cats can't resist this and if you want her to come to you, waving this around or skittering it across the floor will probably do the job.

http://www.thecatsite.com/products/da-bird-cat-toy

Good luck and enjoy your girl. We'd love to see photos, if you have any.

mycutenala · May 26, 2016

Thank you aswell! Today we spent a lot of time together, we played fetch and I do own a wand toy

I hope she'll learn my trust soon and it's through little steps!

Thank you @Molly92 and @Margd for your help. I'll update this post every once in a while. Sadly i cant upload a picture of my baby girl, i'll try again some other time.

I need your help :(

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