Update on my MIL's house (it's long)

Winchester said:

Rick is starting to think of selling it as a tear-down, too. I was surprised on Saturday when he told me that.

Our son came up on Saturday and took his things home.

A local recycling/second-hand organization is coming in on Wednesday to pick up the remaining items. Rick took our old computer (minus the hard drive), printer, a couple of old microwaves, vacuum cleaners, an old lawn mower, etc. up to the garage so the organization could take those items, too. We had to pay to get rid of some of the stuff, but it was worth it in the long run. At that point, the only remaining items in the house will be those things that Rick is taking. We just need to get up there and bring those things home.

His sister is still dickering with us about removing the carpet and painting. Rick and I are holding our ground, esp now that he's thinking tear-down. She is really angry with us and can't believe that we aren't willing to help his mother. We think we've done enough. As Rick told her again yesterday, had it not been for Rick and me, we wouldn't be even this far along. And enough is enough. 

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Can't you suggest firmly that you've done your bit,now the carpets and painting are her and her husbands contribution to helping HER.mother.

Judy, Rick's been arguing with her now for a good month about the carpet, floor refinishing, and (now) the painting. He keeps saying that we have done more than our share of the work and that we are done. It's going in one ear and out the other.

We have to take her phone calls because the facility their mom is in calls her when something happens, if their mom falls or they need help with something. Then she will call Rick to tell him what needs to be done. So we pretty much have to answer when she calls. Although I will say that Rick is starting to let her messages go to voice mail. If it has to do with their mom, he'll call her back. Otherwise, he is starting to let her calls go. But then she calls me and says, "Your husband isn't answering his phone again. Tell him to call me."   I've started letting her calls go to my voice mail now, too, and then I'll throw her a text that basically says, "OK."

I would back off, let her deal with whatever gets done from now on. It isn't worth the stress to keep dealing with her. Let her just do what she wants to. Can't Rick tell the facility to call him too when something happens.

Rick did call the facility to request that we be called if she falls or if something happens to her. They've agreed to call me. I can get there from work a lot easier than Rick can, the facility is right close to my work and I've walked over during lunch to give her cookies and such that I've made. I have to take vacation time if something happens because sick time can only be used for an ill immediate family member, not an in-law. But for the most part, that's OK; it doesn't happen often, esp now that she's in assisted living. Before I was the one they called when she was living at her house and she'd fall and that happened regularly, so I was leaving work quite a bit and running down to the house to be there when the paramedics got there and got her back off the floor. 

His sister called him last night; he didn't take the call, but then he did listen to the voice mail. Then she called me; I didn't take the call, but listened to the voice mail. Nothing really important, but when she couldn't reach Rick, that's when I got the call. "Have Rick call me. He's not answering his phone. Again" I just texted her with "OK". And that was that. We had things to do last night, so if he did call her, I don't know about it.

Oh the carpeting and painting should be totally on her at this point. Without a doubt. :nod:

Pam, I think you and Rick deserve the Saint of the year award! The sister would drive me nuts too! Either help out or get out, period.   She need professional help! Yup, I'd sell it as a fixer upper for sure. You have both done way more of your share with no help to speak of from the sister. There is just too much work involved. Keep us posted!

Thanks, Kathy. I'm not so sure I do, but Dear Richard definitely deserves the award. He has gone far above and beyond.

I was diagnosed with periformis syndrome/sciatica on Wednesday morning, prescribed predisone for the swelling of the area around that nerve, and I start physical therapy for some stretching exercises on June 13. Meanwhile, doctor told me to lay off the walking until the therapist feels comfortable letting me walk again. I am to find other forms of exercise until then.

Well, my SIL and her husband are having the public sale for his mother's property tomorrow. BIL talked to Rick last night to tell him what time we should be up at the house tomorrow. Rick told him that he would be there, but that I would not because I'm not supposed to be on my feet all day, and running around at the sale.

Got a text from the BIL last night: "I find it convenient that you have sciatica now and can't help us on Saturday."

I didn't bother to respond. I wanted to. But I didn't.

My response wouldn't have been allowed to be posted here on TCS. :hmm:


I hope you feel better soon.

AbbysMom said:

My response wouldn't have been allowed to be posted here on TCS.

I hope you feel better soon.

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    Family can be so nasty sometimes.      Bet you'll be glad when that sale is over!  

Sciatica is so painful!  Feel better soon.  

Some people have a lot of nerve often more so with family then anyone else.  I don't have the nerve issue but I tore a muscle in my back many years ago.  Because of the weak place in the muscle I get more than my share of muscle spasms in my back.  I can't do anything when my back is messed up, I couldn't begin to even think about being on my feet for an extended period of time.

You just take care of yourself and ignore him.  I notice in all your posts about your SIL lurking and not helping he isn't mentioned at all so I assume he was no where to be found.  Now these two are going to say they sold the house and you didn't help! 

Handsome Kitty said:

 
You just take care of yourself and ignore him.  I notice in all your posts about your SIL lurking and not helping he isn't mentioned at all so I assume he was no where to be found.  Now these two are going to say they sold the house and you didn't help! 

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Winchester said:

I was diagnosed with periformis syndrome/sciatica on Wednesday morning, prescribed predisone for the swelling of the area around that nerve, and I start physical therapy for some stretching exercises on June 13. Meanwhile, doctor told me to lay off the walking until the therapist feels comfortable letting me walk again. I am to find other forms of exercise until then.

Well, my SIL and her husband are having the public sale for his mother's property tomorrow. BIL talked to Rick last night to tell him what time we should be up at the house tomorrow. Rick told him that he would be there, but that I would not because I'm not supposed to be on my feet all day, and running around at the sale.

Got a text from the BIL last night: "I find it convenient that you have sciatica now and can't help us on Saturday."

I didn't bother to respond. I wanted to. But I didn't.

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My mouth is agape and I inhaled deeply. What a bloody cheek. I'd have exploded from anger and replied. Feel better soon.
All this business with the house will soon be over and you can forget you have a bil.

Winchester said:

Rick did call the facility to request that we be called if she falls or if something happens to her. They've agreed to call me. I can get there from work a lot easier than Rick can, the facility is right close to my work and I've walked over during lunch to give her cookies and such that I've made. I have to take vacation time if something happens because sick time can only be used for an ill immediate family member, not an in-law. But for the most part, that's OK; it doesn't happen often, esp now that she's in assisted living. Before I was the one they called when she was living at her house and she'd fall and that happened regularly, so I was leaving work quite a bit and running down to the house to be there when the paramedics got there and got her back off the floor. 

His sister called him last night; he didn't take the call, but then he did listen to the voice mail. Then she called me; I didn't take the call, but listened to the voice mail. Nothing really important, but when she couldn't reach Rick, that's when I got the call. "Have Rick call me. He's not answering his phone. Again" I just texted her with "OK". And that was that. We had things to do last night, so if he did call her, I don't know about it.

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I'm afraid I wouldn't even bother with the ok. Just let her have silence.

sounds like the bil is baiting you because he has had to listen to HER Complain about this-so he probably sent you the text to shut her the heck up.

Some people are followers=you never hear  a peep until someone twitters in their ear-ignore-ignore.

I would have replied back=where were you during the yardsale?!?! Where were you when we cleaned out the contents?? Now its your turn to contribute-buzz offf! 

foxxycat said:

sounds like the bil is baiting you because he has had to listen to HER Complain about this-so he probably sent you the text to shut her the heck up.

Some people are followers=you never hear  a peep until someone twitters in their ear-ignore-ignore.

I would have replied back=where were you during the yardsale?!?! Where were you when we cleaned out the contents?? Now its your turn to contribute-buzz offf! 

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Well said.

Thanks, all of you. 

Rick came home from the sale. He said neither his sister nor his BIL did much of anything; they pretty much stood around and watched it all. They had hired some kids to be runners and to bring the furniture outside. And, of course, Rick was a runner, too. But neither one of them did much of anything at all.

I hope you soon get to the end of this problem. Things like this are stressful enough when everyone shares in the work. Most of the time though, it happens just like this is happening. One sibling does it all while the other one takes credit for it all. :nod:

The carpets have been removed in the house, so we're down to the hardwood floors. I have to say that the floors don't look too bad and it seems to have made the rooms look a bit larger. They will have to be re-finished and whoever buys the house can do that on their own. Rick and I agreed that we weren't finishing floors or painting or anything else and we managed to stick with it.

The realtor was in to take pictures for listing. We are pretty much done with things at this point. We have to go in to take a few things out of the house yet. I had cleaned the bathroom again, but the tub seems dirty and I suppose I should wipe it down again. Some areas in the kitchen should probably be wiped down again, too. I had the kitchen looking pretty good, but just from cleaning in the house and such, the counters could use another quick wiping. We're going back up either some night this week or, more likely, over this coming weekend sometime.

One of the neighbors has been coming over to keep the yard mowed and we're paying for that maintenance. It needs to be done and we don't have the time to do it ourselves. 

But, for the most part, other those those couple things, I think we're done. There's no For Sale sign on the property yet, but we think it will be formally for sale within the next week or so. Finally!