Scaredy Cat and Aggresive Cat

catcurmudgeon

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I recently moved across country with three cats - my husband's two cats, who were living with his parents, and my cat, who was living with us prior to the move. We could not introduce the cats prior to the move because of our living situation.

We expected introductions to take some time, particularly since their first exposures to each other were so stressful (30 hours of driving in a uhaul cab over the period of three days was bound to be unsettling), but four months later we are still having issues.

My cat (Ella) was previously in a single-cat-household, and she is now getting along fine with one of the other cats, but is both terrified of and aggressive toward one cat  (Milo). Milo is a fearful cat, and only recently became comfortable with moving around in the apartment - he was previously terrified of the living room and spent all his time in a bedroom.

We have tried repeatedly to introduce Ella and Milo only to have both cats seem calm until Milo moves - once Milo decides to retreat or move away, Ella chases him, screams at him, and instigates a fight. We recently purchased a large dog crate to help facilitate exposure and desensitize them to each other, but after a couple weeks of forcing them to spend time together (taking turns with who will be in the crate, and using calming pheromones to help the process along), we still have the same problem as soon as the crate is not part of the picture. So long as Milo doesn't move, everything is fine, but the moment he does, she turns into a hunter. I keep her on a leash when we try anything without the crate to prevent a fight. 

Should I continue trying to desensitize them with the crate? Does every time they fight or have a negative reaction to each other reset the desensitization? It feels like we aren't making any progress with the crate - they just ignore each other, and it feels like we are undoing any progress we've made when we remove the crate from the situation.

Note: we are only exposing them to each other for two to three hours at a time, and we give them breaks. At night they sleep in separate rooms.

Thanks very much for any advice =)
 
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catcurmudgeon

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I forgot to mention: Ella is 15, Milo is 9. We have three litter boxes, all in separate places, and we feed Milo separate from the other cats for obvious reasons. Our third cat, Mischa, wants nothing to do with this drama and just stays well away from the others, but gets along with them relatively well.
 

boney girl dad

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Welcome to TCS. Sounds like you have a little excitement. Somebody around here will give you good advice. I can tell you my only one experience introducing another kitty to an only child cat. Took time. Lots of time. It was over a year before Xena quit stalking and attacking Boney Girl. Think when Boney began standing up for herself is when the war turned into tolerance. They never did become friends and Xena continued to assert her dominance in other ways. What I just described is not as bad as it sounds. They did learn to live with other. I should've joined TCS back then and got some advice. I separated them and refereed as necessary. I gave them both plenty of attention. Separate food, water bowls and litter boxes. Fed and treats at the same time. I also gave both of them free run of the house so they could pick where they wanted to be. So, time and patience are the main answers. Hope things go well for all involved and hope to hear some progress reports.
 

littlea

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Hi, I am having the EXACT same issue. A hunter and a prey situation... Like you, I have tried every way possible to reintroduce them with no luck. Do you keep them separated when not in the crate? I do keep mine apart, but have a see through screen divider so they are able to see each other.  I think this is important to do if you do not already.  I've not crated mine, but let each have time in different areas of the apartment and then switch out (just an idea). I made my divider so easy for like 20 dollars. It may be an idea so they have a safe space but still can see and smell each other. Maybe the leash/ crate is causing more stress? Jackson Galaxey has some good articles on reintroduction if you have not already seen them. (but I sure do know firsthand that they don't work for all cats...)

Anyway, back to the cats... my issue became so bad that my scared kitty became increasingly stressed and began urinating outside the box. Vet suggested kitty Prozac for both and they have been on it for a month. I know that many people are uncomfortable with medication, and it is a last resort but my poor girl was obviously becoming very distressed. Huge difference. My scared cat is more relaxed. She has had no accidents in 3 weeks (yay). My aggressor has improved (but not quite there yet). I've graduated up to the point where I can have them in the same room for 30 min or so (I'm doing this very gradually so no one regresses) if I am supervising. However, if my scared cat bolts, the aggressor does go back into hunt mode BUT now I am able to quickly remind him "No" and a quick distraction and I can prevent a disaster. This is much much better than before when he would instantly pounce and attack. For me, it was worth it to try and I will continue to bring them together a few times a day and go from there. 

Let me know if you have any other ideas to try and I am hoping that you guys can find a way to improve things. I wish I had more suggestions, but medication has been the only thing to have any effect whatsoever and even it's not been a "fix" but I'm still working on it haha. Best of luck!
 
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catcurmudgeon

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Welcome to TCS. Sounds like you have a little excitement. Somebody around here will give you good advice. I can tell you my only one experience introducing another kitty to an only child cat. Took time. Lots of time. It was over a year before Xena quit stalking and attacking Boney Girl. Think when Boney began standing up for herself is when the war turned into tolerance. They never did become friends and Xena continued to assert her dominance in other ways. What I just described is not as bad as it sounds. They did learn to live with other. I should've joined TCS back then and got some advice. I separated them and refereed as necessary. I gave them both plenty of attention. Separate food, water bowls and litter boxes. Fed and treats at the same time. I also gave both of them free run of the house so they could pick where they wanted to be. So, time and patience are the main answers. Hope things go well for all involved and hope to hear some progress reports.
Thank you for your words of support! I'm glad to hear that you were able to resolve the situation with time. I was discouraged because everything I read said it would take time, but time as in weeks rather than months or a year. I will definitely post progress reports!
 
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catcurmudgeon

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Hi, I am having the EXACT same issue. A hunter and a prey situation... Like you, I have tried every way possible to reintroduce them with no luck. Do you keep them separated when not in the crate? I do keep mine apart, but have a see through screen divider so they are able to see each other.  I think this is important to do if you do not already.  I've not crated mine, but let each have time in different areas of the apartment and then switch out (just an idea). I made my divider so easy for like 20 dollars. It may be an idea so they have a safe space but still can see and smell each other. Maybe the leash/ crate is causing more stress? Jackson Galaxey has some good articles on reintroduction if you have not already seen them. (but I sure do know firsthand that they don't work for all cats...)

Anyway, back to the cats... my issue became so bad that my scared kitty became increasingly stressed and began urinating outside the box. Vet suggested kitty Prozac for both and they have been on it for a month. I know that many people are uncomfortable with medication, and it is a last resort but my poor girl was obviously becoming very distressed. Huge difference. My scared cat is more relaxed. She has had no accidents in 3 weeks (yay). My aggressor has improved (but not quite there yet). I've graduated up to the point where I can have them in the same room for 30 min or so (I'm doing this very gradually so no one regresses) if I am supervising. However, if my scared cat bolts, the aggressor does go back into hunt mode BUT now I am able to quickly remind him "No" and a quick distraction and I can prevent a disaster. This is much much better than before when he would instantly pounce and attack. For me, it was worth it to try and I will continue to bring them together a few times a day and go from there. 

Let me know if you have any other ideas to try and I am hoping that you guys can find a way to improve things. I wish I had more suggestions, but medication has been the only thing to have any effect whatsoever and even it's not been a "fix" but I'm still working on it haha. Best of luck!
Thank you so much! My vet warned against medications - in her words, they can work or they can do the opposite of what they were intended to do with cats, though I think we will have to consider it again if this keeps up for a long time.

We keep the cats separate 80% of the time, and the time that they aren't separate is when we have one or the other in the crate. The crate seems to be fine - it doesn't seem to cause any additional stress, though it does alter both cats' behavior , so I think I will have to create a divider like you did. How did you do it? Did you follow a tutorial? I think this is what's missing from our solution since the cats can't just see each other as they behave normally.
 
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catcurmudgeon

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Whoops, I accidentally submitted that before I was finished!

We have tried a Calm Collar that uses pheromones for both cats. It seems to work on the fearful cat in particular. He is much more relaxed since getting the collar. He seems to be becoming less fearful in general as time is passing, and this includes fear of Ella, but it still doesn't change the fact that when he runs, she chases.

I am glad you were able to get to the point where you can distract your cat who is behaving like a predator! That is great progress! Do you think that was the medication, or did you try some training to get to that point? I can distract my predator kitty, but only if she ISN'T chasing. When she decides to start chasing Milo, everything happens so quickly that the focus immediately becomes breaking up the fight
 

littlea

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I think it was the medication... I tried before to have them out together supervised and there was no stopping my aggressor. He was full speed chase attack no matter what toy or treat I had to use as a distraction. 

I also felt frustrated because it seemed reintroduction would take a few weeks. Other people seemed to have success after a month or two and things just werent going that way for us.  I am in month 9 (I feel really embarrassed admitting that). So for me, medication was truly the last option as things were not improving at all. My vet basically said at this point things were unlikely to change but offered medication and was hopeful that at least then I could know I exhausted all efforts. So, at that point I was more than happy to try haha. I totally understand about being nervous about meds especially when our cats can't vocalize how they are feeling. It's a tough decision I know. 

I'm attaching the links to the divider... my cats do not try to knock it over. But, I think many cats would try and it may need the wall hooks. I've also read about using a screen door but this option was best for my layout.   

https://pethelpful.com/cats/Build-a-free-standing-cat-dog-pet-gate-with-virtually-no-tools

http://www.thelovelyside.com/2015/04/diy-cat-barrier-for-under-100-see.html
 
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