New kitten hiding in box and growling

Hello all! 

I have read some posts on here and found them helpful, but would appreciate specific feedback for my situation. We just adopted a kitten (about 9 months old) three days ago. I have been trying to do everything right, keeping her in our bathroom with her litter box, bed, scratching toy and food. Unfortunately, when she originally walked out of her carrier she jumped into the bathtub and started slipping around and freaked out. I picked her up and held her for 5 or so minutes and she was shaking tremendously. When I eventually put her down she hid in the corner. Later when I left she discovered the box I had made into a "cat cave" by putting a shirt over it (it has an 8 inch diameter opening). The first night she allowed me to pet her head, but since then she has growled if my hand comes near her, so I stopped trying to pet her. She's now been unpetted for 2 days or so, and only hides in her box. Btw, we have another cat who we are keeping in the other part of the house. 

Any ideas what I should do? I've tried to use food held out on a spoon to get her to come out of the box, but even that is leading her to growl sometimes, so I'm trying to take it really easy. 

Should I just leave her alone or should I try to engage her? How many more days would it be fine to let her just do her own thing before I try to feed her by hand again?

Thanks for your help in advance !

S

You should try to engage her, but you have to watch your body language while doing so to avoid her feeling more threatened. Let her see your face, but not so close she can scratch it, try to soften your eyes by partially closing them and slowly blinking, soften your whole expression if possible. When you approach her, you don't want your body tense, try to be relaxed as possible when dealing with her. Sit or lay on the floor with a very relaxed body posture, even if you don't engage her directly, just let her watch you do this. Talk in soft yet reassuring tones to her, even if you don't say anything, make little noises in the soft and reassuring tone. Don't try to just reach out and pet her, never come from behind or above where she can't see your hand(at least not until she's accepted you and her new territory). When you try to pet her have your hand palm down and limp lower than her head and let her sniff it, she'll let you know if she's ready to be petted or not. Don't corner her, always let her have an escape to a safe spot, even if you're both in the bathroom, make the whole room her territory and safe haven, use your body language to tell her it's her area. When you bring her her food(use wet since it's more enticing usually), sit by the bowl, but don't engage, just let her get up the courage to eat while you're there.

There's more stuff I automatically do with all cats, but it's hard to explain. I use these techniques whenever I deal with cats, I have lots of family that have cats that no one can touch but me, and I've tamed a fair amount of ferrels that if you saw them now you'd have never guessed they were wild at some point. 

That's very helpful, jenjen! I hadn't thought about the hand palm down thing. I'll try sitting by her food tonight and maybe reclining a bit and yawning. We'll see if that helps her feel more safe. thanks!

Hey jenjen, how long do you think she should stay in the bathroom? Do you usually keep cats in one room for as long as they are still showing fear/aggression? Our cat was originally somewhat feral, but her original rescuer "tamed" her over time and when we visited her she was very affectionate with her, even jumping up into her lap. I'm sure she'll eventually feel more safe with us. I just want to make sure we're not overdoing it with keeping her secluded in one room... What are your thoughts? thanks!! 

Might take a few days. When we brought out 2nd cat home, he stayed in the spare bedroom for probably 4-5 days before eventually venturing out on his own. We just went about our normal lives and let him observe us. Once he got used to the sounds and smells and sights he started coming out on his own. We also moved the food dish just a little farther away each time we fed him.

Okay, thanks for the advice. Thus far I've been closing the door of the bathroom, but maybe I will leave it open in a day or two so that she can explore the back part of the apartment if she feels like it. 

When we were introducing them we tried everything the websites said. Kept them apart, fed them at either side of the door so they could get used to each others smell and associate a good thing (feeding) with each other. But ultimately it wasn't working, so we opened the door and just let them sort it out themselves. The new cat hid for 4-5 days, and our other cat would get curious and walk by, plop down in front of him and they'd just observe one another. Even when he started venturing out into other rooms, our other cat would follow. He really wanted to play lol. The new cat would hiss. Then they got used to being in the same room. It took about a week and a half, maybe 2 weeks,  for them to start playing with each other after that.

Rule number 1. You have to let the cat pet you first. If she is otherwise eating, drinking and using the litter box you are dealing with a time issue. Right now that bathroom is a big strange place. Soon that bathroom will feel safe.

Lots of people watch My Cat From Hell where an issue like you are having is addressed in a half hour segment full of commercials. You don't really get the time lapse from beginning to end.

When the cat finally does approach you and even head bumps you lowered hand. Resist the urge to pet back. Your instant urge to pet will likely be perceived as an attempt to grab and set the defenses back up.

I am not a cat expert. But the methods used by Galaxy are somewhat universal in approach and very similar to ones I've used to gain the trust of a horse that has been abused or had minimal handling.

Simonedebeau said:

 
Hey jenjen, how long do you think she should stay in the bathroom? Do you usually keep cats in one room for as long as they are still showing fear/aggression? Our cat was originally somewhat feral, but her original rescuer "tamed" her over time and when we visited her she was very affectionate with her, even jumping up into her lap. I'm sure she'll eventually feel more safe with us. I just want to make sure we're not overdoing it with keeping her secluded in one room... What are your thoughts? thanks!! 

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Sorry didn't reply sooner, we had some nasty storms move through here.

I'd wait to let her out since she was feral at one time and you have another kitty resident. Time frame depends totally on her, and I'd certainly wait until the fear and aggression has subsided. I'd wait until you two have established a relationship and she trusts you, or she might find a hole to hide in and it'll take much longer to gain her trust, or it may never happen. You'll want her body language to be relaxed, where she doesn't bolt at the sight of you, and where she actually greets you when you come in - some cats will never get to that point, some will bolt as soon as they hear the door regardless but then will wait until you're in the room to come out or wait until you call them to come to you, I've mostly seen that in cats with poor vision though. You want her to the point where she does seek your affection and companionship when you go into the bathroom with her. Before you go in, pet your other beastie so she can get used to the scent and associate it with you, do the same for your other kitty, too. The other thing I usually do is wait until they ask to leave the safe zone, too - my mom's cat took a month, she was a very skittish cat from a shelter, she asked to come out of my mom's room, then wouldn't go back in, she decided she was mine and abandoned my mom completely(third cat I've done that to her with over the years). In my experience, the more time you spend with them, the less time it takes to establish that trust and less time for them to feel secure enough in you that they feel safe enough to explore.

As for introductions, I've always gotten off easy some how, though it's usually always after I've established trust with the new kitty. I let them do their thing and figure stuff out with each other on their own, I don't get in the middle of any bickering, but am always in the middle of the room. I've never had any get nasty physically, usually just mouthy with each other or a light swat, but it passes quick and normally ends with both sleeping on top of me at some point during that night. I don't ever force an intro, I just open the doors and let them discover each other usually with me on my bed in my territory in a relaxed position, but always have the noob where they have their own established safe zone first before ever doing it(mine have always abandoned their safe zone after they've integrated, some don't though).

Just a little over two weeks ago I brought in two not even four week old "fosters", which was easy to establish trust with them, they pegged me as a sucker right away and I was the new momma with the gift of KMR. Before introducing them to my boy, I bathed them(they were filthy and needed it, normally I don't bathe my cats) and rubbed my scent all over them after they were dry(I literally rubbed each one in my greasy hair, didn't have time for a shower when I got the call about them and had to pick them up in a hurry). My boy heard the mewing of the babies and came to investigate on his own, I just let my boy approach and come see, and he took to them right away(he's a very unusual cat though, very gentle). 

Thanks, that is all very helpful. Me and my partner are going to take it back a few notches and take it real slowly with her. She hissed at me this morning when I bent down to giver her food. So, I'm going to use all the tips you listed above. I really hope that eventually she can relax and bond with us. 

Thanks @Kittens Mom   I asked my partner to go in twice the room today, give her food, and just sit in the corner of the room very meekly reading a book.   Hopefully, over time, as we do that, she will learn that she has nothing to be afraid of. Thanks for the tips.

That's interesting @2TatoCatz  . Our other cat  is VERY curious about what's going on in the back. He definitely knows it's a cat, and sometimes will meow at the door and scratch a bit. I've been saying No and moving him away when he does that. Thankfully, he is a very sweet cat and has not shown any behavioral issues. He's just as sweet and cuddly as ever. I think that when we eventually introduce them, our old cat will be just fine and want to play and probably be sweet with the kitten. It all really depends on when the kitten is feeling more secure, as she is about 3 times smaller than our gentle boy. 

Simonedebeau said:

 
Thanks @Kittens Mom   I asked my partner to go in twice the room today, give her food, and just sit in the corner of the room very meekly reading a book. 

 Hopefully, over time, as we do that, she will learn that she has nothing to be afraid of. Thanks for the tips.

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Kittens Mom give really good advice.  Also, don't get discouraged.  This might take a bit of time, days if not weeks.  Cats are highly sensitive.  They have evolved that way as small predators in a big world.  It takes them time to adjust to anything new (my cat has a hissy fit if I move a chair in the living room, and won't come out of her Kozy Kube for hours at a time), but they do adjust.  Reading aloud in a soft voice while you're sitting in there with her won't hurt a bit, either.  Patience and patience and more patience.  She'll be on your laps and demanding attention before it's over with!

Simonedebeau said:

 
That's interesting @2TatoCatz  . Our other cat is VERY curious about what's going on in the back. He definitely knows it's a cat, and sometimes will meow at the door and scratch a bit. I've been saying No and moving him away when he does that. Thankfully, he is a very sweet cat and has not shown any behavioral issues. He's just as sweet and cuddly as ever. I think that when we eventually introduce them, our old cat will be just fine and want to play and probably be sweet with the kitten. It all really depends on when the kitten is feeling more secure, as she is about 3 times smaller than our gentle boy. 

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My home is pretty open in the floor plan. When we brought in the dirty stinky ugly horrible filthy scraggly THING IN A BOX.  We put Mercy in a huge crate in the room. We then covered it so that Mook could have her hissy but no one got hurt.  We crated the baby whenever we were not there for direct supervision. When they are together keep a tray or piece of cardboard. If you see aggression , usually it's pretty obvious put it between them and remove one cat.

When your new kitten can deal with you being in the room and eye contact get some special food. Might take a few tries. Again put it just outside the comfort zone of the box and ignore her. If she comes out , Ignore and let her have a good experience. I wish you luck. Don't give up.

Good news! Yesterday I brought a wand toy into Simmi's room and she came out and played for like 30 minutes! She was very into it, and when the toy came near me, she smelled my foot twice! I am SO glad for this progress. Also, when I gave her food this morning, she didn't growl at me!   Yay!

Simonedebeau said:

 
Good news! Yesterday I brought a wand toy into Simmi's room and she came out and played for like 30 minutes! She was very into it, and when the toy came near me, she smelled my foot twice! I am SO glad for this progress. Also, when I gave her food this morning, she didn't growl at me! 

 Yay!

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Thanks for the happy update.

Huge grins here.  You are on your way!  And moving at a good clip, to boot!

So, I walked into the bathroom last night and Simmi (the kitten) was standing outside of her box and hissed at me. She has been hissing a bit more in general. We've now had her for a week and one day. Any thoughts about how normal or not normal this is? I'm hoping that we'll only need to keep her separated from the other cat for another week, but not sure how she will progress. She is playing and sometimes will eat hard food out of my hand, but still seems quite jumpy obviously since she's hissing. 

It is certainly not abnormal.  Cats are creatures of habit, and all of hers are turned upsidedown right now.  I hate to be the bearer of bad-ish news, but it can take a few weeks to totally integrate a new kitten into a household.   That said, you are making progress, and occasional "temper tantrums" aren't necessarily a sign that All Has Gone Wrong.  Patience...you'll get there!