My 2 year old cat hates me ever since i brought home a new kitten

My 2 year old ragdoll cat, Bear, has been a part of my life since i started university 2 years ago. He's always been loving, affectionate, playful, cuddly, and chattery. He would come cuddle up next to me in the mornings before my classes, follow me all around the house, greet me happily when i come home, give me lots of hugs and head boops, let me pick him up and pet him all the time. He's my best friend.

My boyfriend and i thought it would be a good idea to get another cat to keep him company when we're busy and when we're away from home. We saw these cute little ragdoll cross kittens and decided to pick a little girl up. The first day was a lot of hissing and growling, which was expected. Second day the kitten was able to get up close to him and they sniffed each other for a few seconds until he hissed at her again. Yesterday the two were chasing each other around the house, tolerating each other, but not comfortable yet.

Throughout this process, i was careful to give both of the cats equal attention, and would keep the kitten in another room at night to give my cat free reign of the house. Last night my boyfriend brought the kitten into our bedroom for the first time and insisted she sleep in the bed. Today, Bear won't let me touch him, won't respond when i call him, hasn't gone in the bedroom (which is where he usually sends most of his time), and hissed at me when i tried to play. He has never acted this way toward me before, and it hurts me a lot. He's starting to accept the kitten, but is starting to resent me.

My boyfriend keeps reassuring me that he will go back to the way he used to be, but after reading up on it a lot, i don't think he will and i don't know if i'll ever be okay with the sudden detachment. I've been depressed over this all day and i don't know what to do about it. Any advice is appreciated.

Hi  Congrats on your new baby

How to introduce cats  (near bottom)

http://www.thecatsite.com/atype/43/Cat_Behavior   

lots of issues are covered, if you type how to introduce cats

in search bar previous threads will pop up as well. 

Introductions are best done slowly through accepting scents first.

Pretty kitty would love to see more pictures

Hi there, your situation sounds excatly like mine was. My stubborn maine coon kept up her distance from me for a good 6 months! Best friends with the new kitten but i lost my trust with her completely and used to scream at the door when i went out (i honestly think she thought everytime i went out i was going to come back with a new kitten haha). She would only eat after i had left the room her food was in, wouldnt play with me and most certainly wouldn't sleep next to me on her usual spot on the spare pillow. 6 months later were all back to normal (apart from the odd hissing at Bandit here and there which im trying to cut out). The only advice i can offer is continue to pet and show Bear love, always feed him first over the new cat, and make sure you have your own time with Bear so that he feels special again. I really sympathise with you, when i was going through it i tortured myself night after night thinking i'd bought Bandit in as a friend and lost my buddy but it did pass and im sure with time patience and love it will with you too! 

Courtney,

Bear will love you like he did before. Don't worry.

It would be best for the kittens safety not to be in bed with you. It is easy to roll over a kitten and hurt it.

It would be best to go through the introduction process. If they are getting along without it that is pretty impressive but it would best to go through the process.

Bear is probably feeling insecure. Did he lose territory? Was he not allowed into your bedroom and was he able to go in there before?

I truly believe that cats can sense our emotions and mirror our emotions. I want you to express your love you have to Bear. Continue playing with him (or trying to), give him treats, show him that you are confident and that you love him and that you know he loves you.  If he hisses just take it slow and cool and give him space so you are not challenging him or anything but be confident (just don't put yourself in any risk of being hurt). He'll come around. Bonds like you have do not go away easily.

Bear is probably feeling a little insecure. Let him go in your bedroom on his terms when he wants. Do you have a cat tree? I am sure he would love to go up high. Try to build up his confidence again with play and food/treats. And have a positive loving confident personality with him. He loves you still let him that you still love him.

But try to take it a little slower and go through the process, it will work out. Both cats need to have confidence and it will work nicely.

Good luck and please feel free to ask anything.

The kitten was put in a little blanket nest at the head of the bed against the wall. I was always careful with Bear when he was little so i've become cautious about moving in the middle of the night.

Bear was always allowed in the bedroom. I made an effort to keep it as his safe place away from the kitten, so I've kept the kitten out of the room all day today to give him back that space. His cat trees all have a tall jump that the kitten can't quite get to yet, but he doesn't like to share them.

I've been making a huge effort to try getting him to play with me, the most i got out of him was with a laser today. Other days he would just turn away from me/walk away/growl when i tried to play.

It sucks even more knowing that he acts totally normal with my boyfriend, even though he's never been bonded to Bear like i was. He can pick him up and play with him whenever, but when i do i still got growled at, which made me feel awful. I've been beating myself up over this for the past few days, i don't think i've ever felt so bad.

The silver lining in all this is that i got my first head boop from Bear tonight ever since the kitten has come home.

They're also eating in the same room together, and i found them both sleeping at the foot of the bed this evening.

-Seriously hoping the head boop is the beginning of forgiveness-

Courtney,

Please do not beat yourself up over this and please do not feel badly. Bear will get over this. He is just adjusting.

GREAT that Bear butted his head on you. HUGE. He is coming around.

Also love that they are eating together and sleeping together.

Just pay Bear a lot of attention, he is probably feeling a little insecure but he will come around. Great he can go up in the cat tree. Going high is confidence. Be positive with him, keep showing him that you love him. Keep trying to play with him, try to give him special treats, spoil him a little bit.

I do think you are back on track though. There will be ups and downs on integrating them so be prepared.

Let us know how things go and if you need any advice.

Thanks for all the advice, they are doing great together now, they play and sleep with each other all the time[emoji]128513[/emoji]

Thanks for the update!  Glad to hear it's going well now.

Awesome!! Thank you for the update. Just keep up giving them confidence and letting them know they are loved and wanted. Play, food/treats, height (cat trees), places to sleep and hang out and a lot of love and you should have a wonderful life with them.

Feel free to ask anything anytime.