Rest in peace, my sweet little Sara Bear

I love her beautiful pose in the first picture, front paws together and her tail wrapped around them. I really loved her fur, such a beautiful colour pattern. I am so sorry that you had to suffer a loss again so soon. My thoughts are with you. 

Sara was beautiful, I love her markings.

I am so sorry to hear about Sara. I've been away for a few days and checked in right away to see how she was doing - how very sad to read she did not make it.  It did seem she was doing better for awhile there and like everyone else here, I had so hoped she was over the worst.  You were the best mom this sweet little girl could have ever had and took such wonderful care of her all of her life, and especially at the end.  She obviously loved you very much and my heart breaks for you that she had to leave you.  RIP dear Sara.  Watch over your mom in her heart break. 

Thank you. She WAS doing better, but then not long after the URI hit, she was just done. I have a feeling she may have left on her own as early as that same day, but I didn't want to chance her suffering. She was definitely in the process of dying already though. She was quite cold already.

Brought Sara home yesterday. It always feels so weird going to the vet without an a cat in tow - especially when I'm not picking up meds. I was thinking about how the last time I had done this (24 weeks to the day) it was dark out. Same time of day, but it was dark on November 16th. Yesterday, it was sunny out. Felt weird for some reason.

It's interesting how when it's that late in the day, and all the staff are winding down, and they're not busy taking care of your pet - they just sit there and chat with you. I don't mean that in a bad way - they are super-awesome and helpful but it's kinda nice to have a conversation where we're not talking about something that is just making my heart sink. Numbers being bad, etc. It feels like that has been the bulk of my vet visits this last year in general. Heck, the fact that there were that many vet visits...

Sugar (one of our dogs) has to go in for her first visit with our vet soon. I'm telling him he's not allowed to find anything wrong with her. And the boys go in for their annual in July. Not allowed to find anything wrong with them either.

Welcome home Sara. As bad as it is. At least she's where she belongs.

I just now saw this thread....I'm so sorry about Sara!  She was such a pretty girl.  I had a kitty (Sammy) with CKD too and had to give him sub-q fluids for several months, so I do understand the anger at this disease.  I'm so sorry.  Hugs.

Thank you. It's been busy at work this week, so haven't really had a whole lot of time to think, which is nice. Mornings and evenings are still kinda rough. Just trying to deal with it one day at a time. Trying not to let myself get paranoid every time one of my kitties walks weird or sneezes or anything else.

Wanted to share this with everyone. When I went to pick up Sara's ashes yesterday, and I got the invoice, I looked at the little picture they had of her and asked if I could have a copy. She sent me the copy of it today. This was taken in either December or January (leaning toward January though). The Cat Whisperer saw her being a little trouble maker and knocking things over by rubbing on them - so decided it was the perfect time to take her picture. They have taken pics of all the little ones.

@Donutte, I'm so, so sorry for your loss. Sara was such a beauty and will always be beautiful and near to you in your heart.     I'm also very sorry about your Lucky. Must be so hard to lose two in such a short time frame. 

Like humans, I think some cats are just healthier and have better genetics than others. I always had an inkling that dental disease and kidney disease were somewhat interconnected, as well, so it was interesting that you also said that.

Rest in peace, feisty Sara girl. 

Thank you. The last week went by faster than I'd expected. Been a week since my little girl passed. There's this part of me that feels guilty right now because I seem to be dealing with her better than I did with Lucky. That first week - heck, month - after Lucky died just dragged. Felt like years had gone by after only four days. I try to remind myself the situations were different. Lucky was pretty healthy until the acute renal failure hit, but it took him just 16 days after he was diagnosed. And he was my feline soul mate. Sara, my sweet little girl, had been sick - off and on, to varying degrees, and for various reasons - for about a year and a half before she died. Some of those times were pretty rough too, so I think I was a bit more mentally prepared with her. She also lasted almost six weeks after being diagnosed with acute renal failure.

Trying to get through the flood of emotions still that hit in the morning and at night. It's getting a little better. I miss her sweet little face that I'd see every time I'd go to the bathroom, even though she hadn't really been in there a lot in quite awhile. It just became something I was used to over the winter.

Although it's never easy no matter what the circumstance, I think there are times when you do kind of mentally prepare yourself for the inevitable if they've been steadily declining for awhile. My s/o's senior cat had kidney failure and liver problems for almost two years. He knew her time was coming. The loss was still so hurtful, but he seemed to have been more accepting of it versus his other cat who died suddenly 8 months earlier.

And if Lucky was your feline soul mate, then naturally his death would have been more devastating. That's okay.     You still loved Sara very very much, and she knew that.    Sebastian was my soulcat, but that doesn't mean I don't love my other two. Because I do, and I will fight for them, too.

I fought very hard for Sara. She had battled severe hyperthyroidism, that had gotten so bad she completely lost her appetite early last year, and we had to assist feed for awhile. She had cystitis, which took FOREVER to diagnose, but that seems to be the nature of the beast. And then the CKD and subsequent acute on chronic renal failure. Then the URI did her in. Will never take a URI for granted, especially if the kitty's already sick.

Going through my pictures that were on my camera, spanning from 4/22 through yesterday (of the ones I'd not uploaded to my computer until yesterday). Took my last picture of her on Monday, 4/25. I didn't take any of her after that as she was doing so poorly, though I'm hoping I may have gotten one of her sunning herself on Tuesday on my phone. Not sure, I'll have to look. Lucky was at least able to still walk - not well, and he was weak, but he could walk - up till the morning he died. And I have pics of him from that morning. But no, no Sara. I didn't want to remember her that way. Although, I do remember at the moment.

It's been a month today since we lost Sara. And I didn't even realize I was crying just now until I absent-mindedly reached for a tissue from the empty tissue box. Dangit, need to replace it.

I still look for her in the little house, that none of the cats have used since she left. It's also been rather warm so that may have to do with it. I know better than to look for her by the vet with the a/c on at least.

I had briefly considered getting another cat, but decided to leave it at 4. Of the three cats we had a year ago, two of them are gone. Most of the cats we have now are all new kitties. Maple's the only one left, although in all honesty, she's a loner and never really cared much about any of the other cats. When she was much younger, she'd lay on the chairs with Lucky and our Ali Cat, but not in the last ten years or so, and definitely not with Sara. So, leaving well enough alone for now.

Feels like it's been both a long month, and yet a month that flew by. The first two weeks went by very quickly. Then we he the 6-month point since Lucky's passing. The last couple of weeks have really dragged.

One of my big goals since Sara's passing is to make sure that Maple enjoys her life as much as possible. No more "dieting" for her! She's 14 and too old for that stuff now. I wished so much I could have done that for Sara at the end. She had two good weeks in the middle of that six week period since she went into acute renal failure - that I'm happy for at least. For so much of her life though she seemed so unhappy, then a few years ago seemed to snap out of whatever issue she was having when we first got her. Then December of 2014 hit and that started the whole craziness that ultimately ended with her death. I think that is part of why I didn't react the same way with her as I did with Lucky (among other reasons, but at least in part) - she was a sick girl for quite some time with the hyperthyroidism and cystitis.

So, Maple is now living the life of the queen she has always assumed she was.

I got a card in the mail the other day. It was a simple card, no one had written on it but it had condolences pre-printed inside. It was from the insurance company that had insured Sara. Having to cancel her insurance afterwards felt like a punch to the gut, but it had to be done. So yeah, a couple weeks later, the card came. It was nice of them to do that.

Cats have such strong personalities and are such a presence in our lives. When they are gone, there are so many triggers that bring back memories; the good and the bad, I hope the good ones become more frequent. RIP Sarah you are missed and forever loved    

@Donutte, I am so sorry I am just now seeing this thread. I am so sorry for the loss of your little Sarah Bear! 

After going through everything with Angel, & then losing him, I avoided most post like this, because I just wasn't ready. It was still too raw.  

I'm so sorry, because you were there for me. It's hard to believe that the 5th will be 4 months since Angel's been gone already! 

R.I.P sweet little Sarah bear. Hope you and my Angel & all of the other TCS kitties up there are all playing together. 

I'm sending you lots of healing hugs!!   

@RuthM  , Wow, what a beautiful story! Thank you for posting that. Of course because it was a little orange boy, it hit especially close to home.

I sobbed through it.  .........4 tissues later! 

Angels mommy said:

@Donutte
, I am so sorry I am just now seeing this thread. I am so sorry for the loss of your little Sarah Bear! 
After going through everything with Angel, & then losing him, I avoided most post like this, because I just wasn't ready. It was still too raw.  
I'm so sorry, because you were there for me. It's hard to believe that the 5th will be 4 months since Angel's been gone already! 

R.I.P sweet little Sarah bear. Hope you and my Angel & all of the other TCS kitties up there are all playing together. 


I'm sending you lots of healing hugs!!   



@RuthM
 , Wow, what a beautiful story! Thank you for posting that. Of course because it was a little orange boy, it hit especially close to home.
I sobbed through it.  .........4 tissues later! 

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Oh, I completely understand. I wasn't really able to read the Bridge posts either (or a lot of the health forum posts) while Sara was sick. I was so sad and so tired and couldn't handle it. And even six and a half months after losing Lucky it's still hard. But things are starting to get better. I don't think I really felt like I could grieve properly for him until after she died, and then I grieved for both.

And I completely forgot to go back and read Ruth's story. I couldn't read it at first - the tears were a bit too overwhelming at the time - but I read it today, and yes, I think four tissues sounds about right! It's like they were reciting all my pets there (ok, no lizards or rats, but the cats and dogs).

Donutte said:

Oh, I completely understand. I wasn't really able to read the Bridge posts either (or a lot of the health forum posts) while Sara was sick. I was so sad and so tired and couldn't handle it. And even six and a half months after losing Lucky it's still hard. But things are starting to get better. I don't think I really felt like I could grieve properly for him until after she died, and then I grieved for both.

And I completely forgot to go back and read Ruth's story. I couldn't read it at first - the tears were a bit too overwhelming at the time - but I read it today, and yes, I think four tissues sounds about right! It's like they were reciting all my pets there (ok, no lizards or rats, but the cats and dogs).

Click to expand...

Yes, so true! I'm sorry you had to go through that twice in such a short time.      Yup! no reptiles or rodents for me either!  

 RIP Sara. So sorry again. I can't believe how fast time flies. And how some of the weirdest memories set off the waterworks. Sending you hugs and hope you start to release the grief. We are here for you. 

I'm sorry for your loss. You have my condolences.