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- Dec 16, 2012
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My boyfriend and I got two kittens in mid-2012 -- our first pets (as adults). Kima was a DSH girl from the shelter. Walter was a Devon Rex boy from a breeder in a neighboring state.
Kima died suddenly without any obvious warning signs in January 2013, at 10 months old. The vet who examined her body (we did not have an autopsy) said it was likely a sudden death from hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. It was devastating to lose our kitten, and I didn't recover for a long time. She was a sweet girl with so many adorable quirks.
After she died, Walter was extremely lonely. It was hard to think about adopting another cat right away, but he really needed a companion.
So we adopted a brown tabby from a different shelter in February 2013, and named her Penelope. We tried to separate the cats for a slow introduction, but Walter rushed the gates. Here they are a few hours after we brought her home (Penelope on left):
A couple of weeks ago, Walter wasn't acting like himself and had labored breathing, so we took him to the ER. After X-rays and an echocardiogram, the cardiologist told us Walter had severe HCM and was in congestive heart failure. He also had a small blood clot in his heart.
He spent three days in the hospital getting oxygen and figuring out the right mix of medications (his kidneys didn't react well to one of them, I think atenolol). We brought him home on a Friday. His breathing stayed at 45-60/minute all weekend, he didn't want to eat, was incontinent at one point and extremely weak. We tried extra Lasix and an appetite stimulant, after conferring with the cardiologist.
We said goodbye to our little dude that Sunday evening -- Easter Sunday -- at home, with help from a vet who does house-call euthanasia. He was almost 4 years old.
(I treasure this photo my boyfriend took that day. When I look at it, I can feel Walter clinging to my shoulder like he used to, and his little head burrowing.)
It was the hardest decision we've ever made, to put him to sleep. He perked up a little on Sunday afternoon, and I begged my boyfriend to give it one more day. I think I'll always wonder "what if we'd waited just a little longer? Would he have gotten better?," but at this point I think we made the best choice under the circumstances. My kitty-mom intuition said he WAS going to improve; he'd started purring and looking around and even licked at some wet food right before the vet arrived to put him to sleep. But we never would have forgiven ourselves if the opposite happened and he deteriorated and was miserable, or if he died in pain after throwing a clot. That was our biggest fear. And when I picked him up, I could hear how hard he was straining to breathe and feel how weak he was.
Since he died, I've been in agony. He was the world to me. I keep thinking this is just like the nightmares I used to have about him running away or dying, and I will wake up in the morning and he'll be there in the crook of my arm, and I can wipe my tears and squeeze him because everything is back to normal.
I know this will get easier. I wish I could fast-forward to that part. It's also hard to want to move on, because that requires accepting he's gone.
Penelope is doing fine. I think she might like being the only cat? As sweet as Walter was, he did bully her. He'd also seek her out to curl up with, and then they'd bathe each other -- but I don't remember her ever seeking him out.
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I have a lot of questions. If anyone can help answer, I would really appreciate it. I know this is super long...
How can I tell if Penelope is lonely, and if we should get another cat? Are there signs I should be watching for? She seems happy but does wander around yowling sometimes. (That's not really a new thing, though.)
Since we've had two young cats die of HCM, I can't help but feel like we're bad luck for our babies, or we're doing something wrong. (For the record, our cats are kept indoors -- or in Walter's case allowed out for walks on a leash -- fed high-quality food and get check-ups and vaccinations.) I think we'll want another Devon someday, but I'm scared to have my heart broken again if they die young. Does this feeling go away? Are we causing this? The vets said our kitties died because of congenital problems, not something we could control. But I can't help feeling responsible. I'm also scared of Penelope dying now.
What obligations does Walter's breeder have? What obligations do I have? I told her about Walter's diagnosis and death. I asked her to please tell the people who have his siblings, so they can get scans and hopefully catch it early if they have HCM as well. She said she would. She also said Walter's parents' scans have never shown HCM. But from what I've read, genetically, one of them is a carrier, right? And something like half of Walter's siblings are at risk? She's never given me cause not to trust her -- she really seems to care about the cats -- but is there any way to make sure another family won't have to go through this, if for some reason she doesn't tell people?
Do breeders usually just apologize when a young cat dies of HCM? Our contract has the typical health guarantee -- free of congenital defects, kittens are guaranteed up to a year (which seems contradictory). Our breeder was sympathetic about Walter's death, but a part of me is furious. And I'm ... offended, I guess? ... that she didn't offer a refund or another kitten from different parents. I don't even know if we would accept -- but it bothered me that she didn't at least offer. We thought Walter would be in our family for more than just a fraction of the typical feline lifespan. We'd looked forward to Walter cuddling up with our first baby, and now we'll never see that. Sorry isn't enough. (Of course, nothing would fix it, short of Walter still being alive, so maybe this isn't fair.)
Thank you if you read this. After Kima died, I couldn't bring myself to post here but I read through some of your Rainbow Bridge posts because it helped me cope, for some reason. It's wonderful that there is a place where It's OK to mourn your lost fur-child, best friend, sidekick...
Kima died suddenly without any obvious warning signs in January 2013, at 10 months old. The vet who examined her body (we did not have an autopsy) said it was likely a sudden death from hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. It was devastating to lose our kitten, and I didn't recover for a long time. She was a sweet girl with so many adorable quirks.
After she died, Walter was extremely lonely. It was hard to think about adopting another cat right away, but he really needed a companion.
So we adopted a brown tabby from a different shelter in February 2013, and named her Penelope. We tried to separate the cats for a slow introduction, but Walter rushed the gates. Here they are a few hours after we brought her home (Penelope on left):
A couple of weeks ago, Walter wasn't acting like himself and had labored breathing, so we took him to the ER. After X-rays and an echocardiogram, the cardiologist told us Walter had severe HCM and was in congestive heart failure. He also had a small blood clot in his heart.
He spent three days in the hospital getting oxygen and figuring out the right mix of medications (his kidneys didn't react well to one of them, I think atenolol). We brought him home on a Friday. His breathing stayed at 45-60/minute all weekend, he didn't want to eat, was incontinent at one point and extremely weak. We tried extra Lasix and an appetite stimulant, after conferring with the cardiologist.
We said goodbye to our little dude that Sunday evening -- Easter Sunday -- at home, with help from a vet who does house-call euthanasia. He was almost 4 years old.
(I treasure this photo my boyfriend took that day. When I look at it, I can feel Walter clinging to my shoulder like he used to, and his little head burrowing.)
It was the hardest decision we've ever made, to put him to sleep. He perked up a little on Sunday afternoon, and I begged my boyfriend to give it one more day. I think I'll always wonder "what if we'd waited just a little longer? Would he have gotten better?," but at this point I think we made the best choice under the circumstances. My kitty-mom intuition said he WAS going to improve; he'd started purring and looking around and even licked at some wet food right before the vet arrived to put him to sleep. But we never would have forgiven ourselves if the opposite happened and he deteriorated and was miserable, or if he died in pain after throwing a clot. That was our biggest fear. And when I picked him up, I could hear how hard he was straining to breathe and feel how weak he was.
Since he died, I've been in agony. He was the world to me. I keep thinking this is just like the nightmares I used to have about him running away or dying, and I will wake up in the morning and he'll be there in the crook of my arm, and I can wipe my tears and squeeze him because everything is back to normal.
I know this will get easier. I wish I could fast-forward to that part. It's also hard to want to move on, because that requires accepting he's gone.
Penelope is doing fine. I think she might like being the only cat? As sweet as Walter was, he did bully her. He'd also seek her out to curl up with, and then they'd bathe each other -- but I don't remember her ever seeking him out.
************************
I have a lot of questions. If anyone can help answer, I would really appreciate it. I know this is super long...
How can I tell if Penelope is lonely, and if we should get another cat? Are there signs I should be watching for? She seems happy but does wander around yowling sometimes. (That's not really a new thing, though.)
Since we've had two young cats die of HCM, I can't help but feel like we're bad luck for our babies, or we're doing something wrong. (For the record, our cats are kept indoors -- or in Walter's case allowed out for walks on a leash -- fed high-quality food and get check-ups and vaccinations.) I think we'll want another Devon someday, but I'm scared to have my heart broken again if they die young. Does this feeling go away? Are we causing this? The vets said our kitties died because of congenital problems, not something we could control. But I can't help feeling responsible. I'm also scared of Penelope dying now.
What obligations does Walter's breeder have? What obligations do I have? I told her about Walter's diagnosis and death. I asked her to please tell the people who have his siblings, so they can get scans and hopefully catch it early if they have HCM as well. She said she would. She also said Walter's parents' scans have never shown HCM. But from what I've read, genetically, one of them is a carrier, right? And something like half of Walter's siblings are at risk? She's never given me cause not to trust her -- she really seems to care about the cats -- but is there any way to make sure another family won't have to go through this, if for some reason she doesn't tell people?
Do breeders usually just apologize when a young cat dies of HCM? Our contract has the typical health guarantee -- free of congenital defects, kittens are guaranteed up to a year (which seems contradictory). Our breeder was sympathetic about Walter's death, but a part of me is furious. And I'm ... offended, I guess? ... that she didn't offer a refund or another kitten from different parents. I don't even know if we would accept -- but it bothered me that she didn't at least offer. We thought Walter would be in our family for more than just a fraction of the typical feline lifespan. We'd looked forward to Walter cuddling up with our first baby, and now we'll never see that. Sorry isn't enough. (Of course, nothing would fix it, short of Walter still being alive, so maybe this isn't fair.)
Thank you if you read this. After Kima died, I couldn't bring myself to post here but I read through some of your Rainbow Bridge posts because it helped me cope, for some reason. It's wonderful that there is a place where It's OK to mourn your lost fur-child, best friend, sidekick...
