In doubt about a possible new boy ...

jimross

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We are a 2-cat house. The motto here is "2 laps, 2 cats". But since last fall, there's only been one kitty to go around. Our older girl, Diva, a sweet little Weegie, crossed the bridge.

Now we're ready to fill that empty lap. In the past, our kitties have come to us in a relatively unplanned way, and never with a pedigree, but the house has stayed happy. Now, though, we're trying to plan a bit because both have been thinking of a Maine Coon for a long time now, and are pretty much decided that we'll get one from one of the catteries in our area (North-East Texas). We're not looking for a show cat. Our main "non-negotiable", if we're going to buy a purebred, is that the kitten must have been raised "underfoot".

With that background, our current girl is now about 3 1/2. She came from a "no-kill" cat shelter. She is a very gentle girl. When I pick her up, if I try to hold on to her when she struggles, she pushes even harder but has NEVER, once, scratched. She is clearly totally relaxed and friendly with us, but is very shy of strangers and most visitors--she goes and hides in my closet from all but a few who she accepts as friends. With our other cat, she was very much the "alpha cat" after just a couple of days in the house, even though she was still a tiny kitten and Diva was full grown (but not a large cat--around 8 pounds). She even tried to boss us around until I put a collar on her and for some reason it made her accept that we were in charge. It's an interesting contrast--her alpha behavior in some cases, totally timid in others.

I've gone to this length to describe her personality because we have found a kitten that is piquing our interests. He's a georgeous white fellow, with brown and red "saddle" spots on his back, hind-end and top of his head. At 4 months, he's already 7 pounds. IOW, he's big enough already to hold his own. And being a Maine Coon, he's headed toward becoming a _very_ big boy. Mewsette--our girl, is a big girl, 14 pounds, but it sounds like this little fella will be bigger than her in fairly short order.

I think she'll get along fine until he gets big enough to overpower her. What concerns me is that, when he gets that big, his natural boyish preference for rougher play may be a bit much for this girl, especially since she's so determined to be "alpha". We love her a lot, and wouldn't want anything to make her life unhappy, so I'm wondering if we might not be smarter to keep looking until we find a nice other girl. There are several good sounding Maine Coon specialists within a day-trip of here, so there will be some choices, but man, that little boy is a cutie.

Any ideas on what is wisdom in this case will be much appreciated.
 

KittenKrazy

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I say, go for him if you like him ! My current alpha cat is a 9 year old female who never weighs in over 6 lbs, and if you don't think she is the boss, come a little closer and tell that to her face !LOL ! All the others in this household are bigger, from just a couple of lbs to over 10 lbs more, but whatever Babycakes says goes! Good luck with whatever choice you make !
 

yayi

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I agree with KK. He sounds like an adorable big boy. Besides Mewsette may look forward to a companion since she grew up with Diva (r.i.p). Expect the usual seesaw behavior between them but I don't think Mewsette will be unhappy at all.
 

tulip2454

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I also say go for the boy! I dont think size or weight have anything to do with the 'alpha mode'. My lot adapt to the situation as to who is top cat - for food its Mischa (10kg), for sleeping arrangements its Tulip(5kg), for the mats in front of the fire its Katy (10kg). (Poor old Dirt(5kg) is totally non Alpha and hes the only boy!)
 
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jimross

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Thanks to all for the encouraging answers.

Actually, my main concern wasn't so much for the alpha behavior, but rather the "big rough teenager" getting on the girl's last nerve. In spite of the alpha mode, she can also be very retiring when she feels threatened. For example, we have a well fenced back yard, so when we are sitting out on the patio, we let her come out and play. In spite of being in "her" yard, all it takes is the slightest odd sound and she slinks back inside, posthaste. For example, when the wind is right we can sometimes faintly hear the sound of the local Jr. High marching band practicing outside, and that is enough to spook her.

BTW -- as an aside, she is a ton of fun out there. She gets to play baby lion all over the place. One morning she had quite a "discussion" with a squirrl who came part way down his tree to scold her.
Most of the time, when we get up to go in, all it takes is a "baby girl, time to go in", and she comes running. But if she's particularly into it, I have to go out to her ahd "herd" her in. I always do it with a Texas "yee-haw, git a'long little kitty". Sometimes I have to prod her from behind, which always brings a hiss, but then up goes the tail, and she runs all the way across the yard and through the door.
We never leave her unattended out there, and she has never shown the slightest interest in trying to climb the fence. I guess she hasn't figured out yet that there's a big world outside the fence.
 

tulip2454

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Originally posted by JimRoss
[band practicing outside, and that is enough to spook her.

I have to go out to her ahd "herd" her in. I always do it with a Texas "yee-haw, git a'long little kitty". Sometimes I have to prod her from behind, which always brings a hiss, but then up goes the tail, and she runs all the way across the yard and through the door.
[/b]
I also do this with my lot - more or less the same words as well!
 

valanhb

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Although my two grew up together, we have a similar situation to your fears.
Ophelia is 7.5 lbs, and not much of a playful kitty. Trent is ~12.5 lbs and VERY rambunctious and almost always playful (unless he's eating or sleeping...). Ophelia definitely lets him know when she's had enough of his play. Of course he doesn't always listen to her, and occasionally we step in when he has her cornered and she's hissing and growling at him and he isn't listening.
He's a brat! BUT, when she wants a nap she will go looking for him and force a snuggle on him.
She almost always gets her way in this. So they get along really well overall.

I also think, being that your cat is older, she will put the "little" boy in his place better since he is a kitten still.
 
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jimross

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Originally posted by valanhb
Ophelia definitely lets him know when she's had enough of his play. Of course he doesn't always listen to her ... BUT, when she wants a nap she will go looking for him and force a snuggle on him.
Our first two, Norbert (a 15 lb gray tiger stripe american shorthair), and Mooch (a 10 lb Siamese, who acted like his name should have been Cedric) were total buddies. Loved to play, roll around kicking each other, etc. etc. Norbert was alpha, but Mooch would only put up with him trying to be boss up to a point. Couple of mornings we got up to find a fair amount of gray and light tan fur tufts up and down the hallway, and the pair of them sleeping in one big ball on a sofa or such.
 
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