CLYDE: my baby and friend

fishandbones

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Let me start out by stating I was never a cat person. I am what most cats may not like. I like cuddles. I love cradling my dog like a baby... YES like she were my actual baby and cradling her lol I love rubbing tummies. Most cats I've met did not like belly rubs especially NOT being cradled. 6 months ago I got a beautiful Persian. I named him Clyde because I knew both he and Bonnie my dog stole my heart :)

if I can describe Clyde it would be "God picked him to be my first cat". He loved being cradled and didn't mind belly rubs. He slept on my head at night and licked my hair. He woke me up at 1030 am every morning with a whisker on my face and the beautiful sound of his purr. His meow was so unique definitely not a crisp MEOW. he would chirp when we played hide and seek. We took care of our basil leaf and he kept me company while I studied the human anatomy all night long. He kept me going because I knew I had to finish school to provide a better home for him. I LOVE my kitten. Yes like he were my child. I didn't know that the store I bought him from were associated with kitty mills. He got a virus while in their hands and he eventually died of FIP. A week prior to his passing he was perfect. He was energetic and then out of nowhere he wasn't the same. I knew my Clyde was sick. He got a very high fever and I brought him to a vet. He thought he had a normal upper respitpry infection so he prescribed antibiotics and send me home. As I researched his symptoms deep in my heart I knew he didn't have just a normal viral infection. He had FIP. his fever got even worse the next morning I was back at the vet and he had to stay overnight. He got IV fluids and I bought him home the following day. He seemed fine and I got on my knees and thanked God he was better.

Clyde was a little normal. He let me pet his belly. He laid in the same carpet area he loved. He purred as I petted his chin. He chirped when I cradled him as tears ran down my face thanking god my baby was ok. My Clyde quietly went under the bed without me noticing. Almost as if he didn't want me to see him go. After an hour I began looking for him. I was busy and noticed he wasn't by my side. He was seizuring under my bed. My heart sank. I frantically called 911. They didn't help. They said he was just a cat. My BF began to cry and we drove him to the hospital. His seizure was so bad he wouldn't stop. It wasn't a 1 minute seizure more like 40 minutes. I have never cried so hard in my life. I knew he would not make it and so I said my goodbye to him in the car. I have never experienced death and this was the worst day of my life. I felt a piece of my soul detach from my body. We had to euthanize him because the seizure compromised the CNS. I cried as I kissed his fur. It felt unreal. Like I have failed him. I am still mourning. It's only been 2 weeks. My mornings are empty. Studying alone at night is tormenting. Clyde I love you so much and not having you with me breaks me. I miss you. My heart aches and the tears I have shed while holding your collar pains me. It pains me I won't be holding you. I believe you are in heaven waiting for me. My heaven will not be my heaven if you are not there. God I love you so much.

If you believe your cat has FIP ask away. Its a horrible disease and the onset could take weeks to months to appear because it derived from the corona virus feline.

I know mourn him and I fear getting a new cat to love. Clyde was my other half and it seems unreal to me that I would find a companion with his attributes.


 

di and bob

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My heart breaks for what you are going through, the anger, the self doubt, the soul crushing grief. You loved that sweet little boy and allowed him into your heart, so when he left you he took a piece of that heart with him leaving a hole that takes a long time to heal. You have to remember one thing above all else, he loved you too, too much to see you in such pain because of him, too much to watch you be consumed by your grief. He would want you to remember the precious time you did have together, the good times, the tummy rubs and the cuddles, not let the painful end bring you such sorrow.  He would want you to mourn for him because you lost a wonderful member of your family, but then fill your heart with sunshine and happiness once again, as you would wish for him if it was you that had left. There was nothing you did that could have changed this ending, the disease that claimed him was most likely in his system before you met, but you found each other and maybe it was fate, he needed you to bring joy and love into his life , even if it was for a little while, and he brought joy and love into yours. A love like that is a rare and precious thing. It is still a wonderful thing that he came into your life, he gave you so much and helped you to learn about the wonderful feline species that so many of us treasure. You would have never known so many things that he taught you if he would have never came into your life at all. So the pain of loss is as great as the love you had for him, but it is worth it rather to have never known him at all.  He will be with you always, the bond of love you forged will never be broken, not even by death. Ask him to comfort you in your dreams and with your precious memories, he will be happy to do so.          When the time is right, do not hesitate to let another little soul into your heart, it will never be the same, it can't, but the distraction and the new love you will find will pass on the legacy of love that Clyde left for you and entrusted to you for you to use. Do this in his name. You'll know the perfect little one, or they may choose you, but the cuddles and the belly rubs can continue, or new and different routines can be a special part of your life once again.  

   The first thing that can be done in his name is to save others from this terrible situation. Turn the 'kitty mill' into the local humane society or the state, this must be stopped before it brings more pain to others and the suffering goes on. Any future kittens/cats in your life should be tested as soon as possible to avoid this happening again. It is way too common. 

   I'll keep you all in my thoughts and prayers, I pray you are blessed for hurting so bad from loving so much. You are not alone in your grief, we will all try to give comfort and share your burden of pain, take care......................RIP beautiful Clyde, you will never be forgotten and will be held forever in a loving heart!
 
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fishandbones

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Omg thank you so much for those kind words. The grieving is horrible but I got a book called "for every cat an angel". Made me feel a lot better. I am looking into the puppy mill case. I've researched the pet stores paperwork and there is so much lies in it. For example my cat was too young when it arrived. They made him one month older. On top of that they were associated with puppy mills. Anyways thank you. I hope I can resolve this mess. However nothing will ever erase Clyde from my heart and if I knew he would die within months prior to buying him I would still buy him. He meant the world to me. I even dreamed of him. Yes! As I type this I am tearful. I took a nap from studying and dreamed of him. It was so vivid and I felt a cold breeze. I was petting him and stroking his fur. I heard his purr. It was so real. I didn't want to wake up.
 

jenny82

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I am so sorry for your loss of Clyde. I'm sorry he was taken from you so soon and in such a hard way. He sounds like he was a great kitty and he is a handsome boy in your picture. I hope that time can heal some of your pain. RIP Clyde.
 

nurseangel

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What a sweet picture of Bonnie and Clyde.  I am very sorry for your loss.  My prayers are with you.
 

Loving Mickey

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Oh, how sad! I am so so sorry for your loss. I know the pain you are feeling will be unbearable at times. Your home will be so lonely with your precious kitty not there. I know all too well the pain that you are feeling. I wish that I could erase all that pain. I would never wish this pain on anyone.
It is obvious how much Clyde was loved and he loved you in return. I only hope that one day you can think of your sweet Clyde with more smiles than tears.
RIP Precious Clyde!
You were so very loved and will be remembered forever!!
 

jcat

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My condolences on your loss of Clyde. FIP is an incredibly cruel disease, taking so many kittens' lives before they've had a chance to reach adulthood. Clyde experienced your love and care and in turn showed you what great companions cats can be. RIP, little sweetie. :rbheart:
 

catsknowme

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 Condolences on losing your precious kitty boy...I am glad that he was such a good cat ambassador, the cat guardian of your dreams. FIP is a horrible, dreadful disease and Clyde was very fortunate that he was in your care because you were able to get him the help he needed to pass peacefully. My experiences in working with ferals has taught me such sad lessons (as my human experiences have as well) and I know only too well that sometimes Death comes as a friend.

Thanks to you, Clyde knew not only the joys of being part of a family, the comforts of a good home and the joys of toys and play (esp with Bonnie!), he also knew that special comfort of receiving help and medical aid in his time of distress.

His allotted time was much too short and I hope that you are blessed with another little kitty to fill that cat-sized hole in your heart....it is amazing how that can happen - almost as if our angel-kitties are over in Heaven, selecting just the right one to be sent our way...until then, condolences to your bf, Bonnie & you.
 

rubysmama

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I am crying as I read about your little Clyde.  He looks so adorable and cuddly in the picture with his canine buddy Bonnie.  So sorry he was taken from you so soon.  FIP is a horrible disease.  

Rest in Peace sweet Clyde. 
 

gareth

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These stories are always terribly sad but this one is heartbreaking :(

I want to say something help but I'm lost for words. The thought of how your stomach must have lurched when you saw him under the bed makes my heart ache. thank you for giving him a safe, loving home. He's at peace now, out of pain. Almost certainly looking down at you and hoping you remember how much he loves you and that this eases your own pain. 

I'm so terribly, terribly sorry for your loss.
 

kntrygrl256

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Reading your opening thread has brought me to tears. I am so sorry for your loss. It takes time to get over the loss of a cherished member of our family. Clyde has taken a piece of your heart across the Rainbow Bridge so he will be able to find you when you meet again. Just remember that he is healed and healthy rolling in the green grass with all of our other loved ones. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

RIP sweet Clyde.

 

kntrygrl256

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Omg thank you so much for those kind words. The grieving is horrible but I got a book called "for every cat an angel". Made me feel a lot better. I am looking into the puppy mill case. I've researched the pet stores paperwork and there is so much lies in it. For example my cat was too young when it arrived. They made him one month older. On top of that they were associated with puppy mills. Anyways thank you. I hope I can resolve this mess. However nothing will ever erase Clyde from my heart and if I knew he would die within months prior to buying him I would still buy him. He meant the world to me. I even dreamed of him. Yes! As I type this I am tearful. I took a nap from studying and dreamed of him. It was so vivid and I felt a cold breeze. I was petting him and stroking his fur. I heard his purr. It was so real. I didn't want to wake up.
 He was letting you know that he was alright and that he would always be near. Mine have come to me in dreams just to let me know it'll be alright.
 

kittens mom

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There is a common theme in so many of our loses. But for the person sobbing their heart out the little cat lost would have never had a life. I know that is cold comfort  when your arms ache to hold their dear little bodies. So many pass through their lives without so much as a kind word a full belly or a warm place to sleep. Because of you Clyde knew love. Eventually you will be able to take that and see the wonderful gift you gave him.
 

harrisonsheart

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"My heaven will not be my heaven if you are not there."

I cried for you reading this because I know every feeling you've described all too well. I too am still mourning my harrison after 2 months crying for him every night.Fip has conpletely traumatized me.

How lucky we were to have them and how lucky they were to be loved by someone who would miss them so much..

I couldn't have loved him more if I made him myself. If you ever need to talk feel free to PM. So sorry for your loss and pain..
 
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donutte

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I just wanted to say I'm so sorry for the loss of your Clyde. I never even heard of FIP before I came here, but I've read enough to know it's a wicked disease. My friend lost her baby to it a few months back. I'm so sorry you had to go through that with Clyde. He was in your life for a reason though, as you said. I like to think that everything - even the bad things - happen for a reason. I lost my Lucky - my feline soul mate - back in November, and I was devastated. I adopted Penelopy to honor his memory. And I can't imagine her NOT being here now, but I always have to remember she wouldn't be here had it not been his time. It is bittersweet, of course.

I used to carry Lucky around in his own way. Put my arms under his torso and he'd stretch his front and back legs out - he was Super Cat! We used to joke that we needed to get him a red cape. I carried him like that back when he was a baby, because his little paws had been damaged and it hurt him to walk at first. He healed perfectly, but I continued to carry him that way for the rest of his life. He didn't stretch his legs out when he got older, but he just loved being carried like that. He'd look around at everything from the new perspective.
 
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fishandbones

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Let me start out by stating I was never a cat person. I am what most cats may not like. I like cuddles. I love cradling my dog like a baby... YES like she were my actual baby and cradling her lol I love rubbing tummies. Most cats I've met did not like belly rubs especially NOT being cradled. 6 months ago I got a beautiful Persian. I named him Clyde because I knew both he and Bonnie my dog stole my heart :)

if I can describe Clyde it would be "God picked him to be my first cat". He loved being cradled and didn't mind belly rubs. He slept on my head at night and licked my hair. He woke me up at 1030 am every morning with a whisker on my face and the beautiful sound of his purr. His meow was so unique definitely not a crisp MEOW. he would chirp when we played hide and seek. We took care of our basil leaf and he kept me company while I studied the human anatomy all night long. He kept me going because I knew I had to finish school to provide a better home for him. I LOVE my kitten. Yes like he were my child. I didn't know that the store I bought him from were associated with kitty mills. He got a virus while in their hands and he eventually died of FIP. A week prior to his passing he was perfect. He was energetic and then out of nowhere he wasn't the same. I knew my Clyde was sick. He got a very high fever and I brought him to a vet. He thought he had a normal upper respitpry infection so he prescribed antibiotics and send me home. As I researched his symptoms deep in my heart I knew he didn't have just a normal viral infection. He had FIP. his fever got even worse the next morning I was back at the vet and he had to stay overnight. He got IV fluids and I bought him home the following day. He seemed fine and I got on my knees and thanked God he was better.

Clyde was a little normal. He let me pet his belly. He laid in the same carpet area he loved. He purred as I petted his chin. He chirped when I cradled him as tears ran down my face thanking god my baby was ok. My Clyde quietly went under the bed without me noticing. Almost as if he didn't want me to see him go. After an hour I began looking for him. I was busy and noticed he wasn't by my side. He was seizuring under my bed. My heart sank. I frantically called 911. They didn't help. They said he was just a cat. My BF began to cry and we drove him to the hospital. His seizure was so bad he wouldn't stop. It wasn't a 1 minute seizure more like 40 minutes. I have never cried so hard in my life. I knew he would not make it and so I said my goodbye to him in the car. I have never experienced death and this was the worst day of my life. I felt a piece of my soul detach from my body. We had to euthanize him because the seizure compromised the CNS. I cried as I kissed his fur. It felt unreal. Like I have failed him. I am still mourning. It's only been 2 weeks. My mornings are empty. Studying alone at night is tormenting. Clyde I love you so much and not having you with me breaks me. I miss you. My heart aches and the tears I have shed while holding your collar pains me. It pains me I won't be holding you. I believe you are in heaven waiting for me. My heaven will not be my heaven if you are not there. God I love you so much.

If you believe your cat has FIP ask away. Its a horrible disease and the onset could take weeks to months to appear because it derived from the corona virus feline.

I know mourn him and I fear getting a new cat to love. Clyde was my other half and it seems unreal to me that I would find a companion with his attributes.


Update 2017
I got on this site and read my first post about my baby boy Clyde. The pain seemed to come back again. I will never forget that pain. It made me think about how much I still miss him. I decided to put his picture in my study area. He was great at keeping me focused on the books. He is joined by my two cats and of cours Bonnie :) I don't want to impose my religion on anyone however I believe in God and this may sound a little crazy but I believe 100% God send me Weasley... new cat someone gave me after Clyde died. He loves to cuddle and I pick him up like a baby. He loves huga and giving me kisses. My mom likes to tell me Clyde put in a request to God to send me my Weasley and yes! I believe that. I am okay now. I still miss my boy... I miss him so much. I still sleep with his collar next to me but I am okay. I hope anyone going through this knows it will get better ... it won't disappear completely bc that special cat took a tiny piece of your heart with him to heaven so u can find him when it's your time to meet.
 

di and bob

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I know exactly what you are saying. We never 'get over it', we learn to live with the loss. There are so many little ones out there that deserve to know love and caring I believe we are given another one to fill that void in our hearts. We will never forget that special love, but we can learn to love again, like a mother with many children. Each one precious and unique. We all have to celebrate what we are given in the present, the past can never be changed, but it is secure and will always be ours to relive in our hearts. Take care.....
 

les26

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I have no doubt that God and Clyde sent you Weasley, just as he and Sebastian and Simon sent me Sylvester, not one millionth of a second of doubt about it! I am sad that you lost your Clyde in the past, but glad that you are moving forward and taking care of Weasley, I wish you the best with your future endeavors and hope you have many joyous years together ahead!

God Bless.....:)
 
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