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The Rogue died this morning
- Thread starter roguethecat
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- #22
The Rogue - symptoms over just 3 weeks:
I first thought he had caught a virus and quarantined him in my bedroom on March 20. He was still eating by himself, but a bit lethargic. When all anti-virals and immune stimulants didn't help after a week and his breathing got worse, we went to the first vet who prescribed antibiotics and decongestant.
We went back two days later because he was bleeding out of his mouth, and they prescribed anti-ulcer medicines, did x rays where you couldn't see anything wrong and ran blood tests which told he was moderately anemic and the vet guessed at autoimmunity.
I stopped the quarantine, so the poor autoimmune patient could be visited by his buddies. He started to feel better, and one evening I even found him sitting outside in the yard, enjoying the sun with Geronimo.
A week later we went back and the vet gave an awful tasting antibiotic supposed to help with autoimmunity and suggested to hospitalize him. I did not want to put him through that, wanted a second opinion first.
After we got home, the Rogue felt really bad and refused to eat by himself. I started syringe feeding him. He vomited blood in the night. So the next morning we went to the second vet, a horribly expensive holistic one, where we got acupuncture, chinese herbs to stimulate the immune system and western herbs to help with breathing problems, more antibiotics and more sucralfate for the ulcer. She detected a heart murmur but wasn't too concerned about it. He ran a slight fever. More blood work showed the anemia was much better, negative for mycoplasma and known bad cat viruses.
We went back the next day because he had trouble breathing for more acupuncture. More x rays still didn't show anything wrong. Ultrasound was scheduled but the vet was pretty convinced he had a bad herpes infection. Quarantine again. Anti-nausea against the vomiting, which helped, he didn't vomit after that, but he never resumed eating by himself. They couldn't get urine out of him so I had to get some myself (they gave me a kit for that which didn't work, but I could position his rear end when he was using his litter box and catch some), brought that in the next day. Got more fish-flavored antibiotics that he still didn't like the taste of. He had some more trouble breathing so we did a steam bath like the vet said could help before going to bed.
The next morning, still breathing trouble. More steam bath which did not help. All of a sudden, the watery sounds when he was trying to breathe - he panicked and I grabbed him and drove to the emergency vet. I kept telling him to hold on. I did mouth to mouth breathing, but probably wasn't very good at it. I had a limp body in my arms when running out of the car. So the third vet at the emergency clinic who still tried to save him said that the heart was atrophied and tried to guess at the Rogue's breed. Apparently in cats as large as the Rogue, heart problems are quite common.
I'm left with a fridge filled with liquid antibiotics, chest herbals and anti-ulcers barely used. I thought of donating them but am unsure if there was a virus in all the mix after all, and I don't want to expose any other cat to that. Any thoughts?
I first thought he had caught a virus and quarantined him in my bedroom on March 20. He was still eating by himself, but a bit lethargic. When all anti-virals and immune stimulants didn't help after a week and his breathing got worse, we went to the first vet who prescribed antibiotics and decongestant.
We went back two days later because he was bleeding out of his mouth, and they prescribed anti-ulcer medicines, did x rays where you couldn't see anything wrong and ran blood tests which told he was moderately anemic and the vet guessed at autoimmunity.
I stopped the quarantine, so the poor autoimmune patient could be visited by his buddies. He started to feel better, and one evening I even found him sitting outside in the yard, enjoying the sun with Geronimo.
A week later we went back and the vet gave an awful tasting antibiotic supposed to help with autoimmunity and suggested to hospitalize him. I did not want to put him through that, wanted a second opinion first.
After we got home, the Rogue felt really bad and refused to eat by himself. I started syringe feeding him. He vomited blood in the night. So the next morning we went to the second vet, a horribly expensive holistic one, where we got acupuncture, chinese herbs to stimulate the immune system and western herbs to help with breathing problems, more antibiotics and more sucralfate for the ulcer. She detected a heart murmur but wasn't too concerned about it. He ran a slight fever. More blood work showed the anemia was much better, negative for mycoplasma and known bad cat viruses.
We went back the next day because he had trouble breathing for more acupuncture. More x rays still didn't show anything wrong. Ultrasound was scheduled but the vet was pretty convinced he had a bad herpes infection. Quarantine again. Anti-nausea against the vomiting, which helped, he didn't vomit after that, but he never resumed eating by himself. They couldn't get urine out of him so I had to get some myself (they gave me a kit for that which didn't work, but I could position his rear end when he was using his litter box and catch some), brought that in the next day. Got more fish-flavored antibiotics that he still didn't like the taste of. He had some more trouble breathing so we did a steam bath like the vet said could help before going to bed.
The next morning, still breathing trouble. More steam bath which did not help. All of a sudden, the watery sounds when he was trying to breathe - he panicked and I grabbed him and drove to the emergency vet. I kept telling him to hold on. I did mouth to mouth breathing, but probably wasn't very good at it. I had a limp body in my arms when running out of the car. So the third vet at the emergency clinic who still tried to save him said that the heart was atrophied and tried to guess at the Rogue's breed. Apparently in cats as large as the Rogue, heart problems are quite common.
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I believe it is true in all mammals that extra size can lead to heart problems. Certainly it's one of the reasons my husband (6'7" tall, 260 lbs.) has heart trouble.
Anything that is no longer sterile should be disposed of safely. Many places will have periodic days when prescription drugs and such can be turned in so the authorities can dispose of them -- we don't want any more drugs getting into the water supply than are already there.
For the others, I'd suggest that you call your local shelter or rescue and ask whether they could use them. The herbs are probably doubtful, but they would almost certainly want the prescription drugs. Someone who is tending a colony of ferals might have a use for the herbs.
Margret
Anything that is no longer sterile should be disposed of safely. Many places will have periodic days when prescription drugs and such can be turned in so the authorities can dispose of them -- we don't want any more drugs getting into the water supply than are already there.
For the others, I'd suggest that you call your local shelter or rescue and ask whether they could use them. The herbs are probably doubtful, but they would almost certainly want the prescription drugs. Someone who is tending a colony of ferals might have a use for the herbs.
Margret
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I"m so sorry about your kitty the Rogue. He was a handsome bob (big ole boy). If it helps at all, just know that so many of us here know exactly what you are going through. I was there last July with Gracie. I will always remember her last breath and it'll always be painful. I'm so sorry for you and your remaining kitties. Hugs to you.
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- #25
Thank you everyone for still reading here. I do have much more time now for the rest of the gang
who appreciates it. Grisou was eating very little so I put him on the mirtazapine that did not work for the Rogue. He is now following me around and wants to be talked to.
Oberon is sneezing so I sneaked lysine into his food. Sassy Josephine hogs the bed and is following me around when Grisou isn't. Rascal accidentally got my neighbor's condolence card meant for the Rogue.
My research says that Main Coon cats can have, if unlucky, a genetic mutation in the heart causing sudden death with syndromes very similar to the Rogue's. He definitely wasn't a pure Main Coon, but maybe half of one, with him getting so big. Had I only had a diagnosis, there would have been some drugs that could have helped... would have, could have.
My vet called yesterday to tell me the latest blood tests weren't in yet, in case they give me some closure.
Oberon is sneezing so I sneaked lysine into his food. Sassy Josephine hogs the bed and is following me around when Grisou isn't. Rascal accidentally got my neighbor's condolence card meant for the Rogue.
My research says that Main Coon cats can have, if unlucky, a genetic mutation in the heart causing sudden death with syndromes very similar to the Rogue's. He definitely wasn't a pure Main Coon, but maybe half of one, with him getting so big. Had I only had a diagnosis, there would have been some drugs that could have helped... would have, could have.
My vet called yesterday to tell me the latest blood tests weren't in yet, in case they give me some closure.
You're welcome. We are here for you. I just want to tell you, please be careful with the Mirtazapine. It does raise their heart rate some, so just keep an eye on him. Some say their kitties get vocal on it, & Angel did too. Sort of like he was meowing AT me, trying to tell me something. I think he was trying to tell me something didn't feel right, because of that. See if even half a dose helps. Since I had to only give him 1/2 a dose, the vet said I could give it every other day, instead of every 3rd. You could always give the vet a call if you're not sure.
Thank you everyone for still reading here. I do have much more time now for the rest of the gangwho appreciates it. Grisou was eating very little so I put him on the mirtazapine that did not work for the Rogue. He is now following me around and wants to be talked to.
Oberon is sneezing so I sneaked lysine into his food. Sassy Josephine hogs the bed and is following me around when Grisou isn't. Rascal accidentally got my neighbor's condolence card meant for the Rogue.
My research says that Main Coon cats can have, if unlucky, a genetic mutation in the heart causing sudden death with syndromes very similar to the Rogue's. He definitely wasn't a pure Main Coon, but maybe half of one, with him getting so big. Had I only had a diagnosis, there would have been some drugs that could have helped... would have, could have.
My vet called yesterday to tell me the latest blood tests weren't in yet, in case they give me some closure.
I didn't know if you were aware of that, so I just wanted to make sure you did. You can never be too safe.
I hope you are doing ok today.
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Thank you, @Angels mommy, for the warning. I am giving half a dose every other day, too. Grisou was on it two years ago when I was worried about his growth (first vet prescribed it, but then second vet pronounced him perfectly all right, just not to compare him with the Rogue although they were the same age). On the Rogue's last 3 days, Grisou was just sitting there not moving or eating, and I thought he had caught whatever virus the Rogue was fighting and syringe fed him, too. In hindsight it could have been he knew and was grieving. So I thought a bit of Mirtazapine would help him eat again, and it does.
You're welcome. We are here for you. I just want to tell you, please be careful with the Mirtazapine. It does raise their heart rate some, so just keep an eye on him. Some say their kitties get vocal on it, & Angel did too. Sort of like he was meowing AT me, trying to tell me something. I think he was trying to tell me something didn't feel right, because of that. See if even half a dose helps. Since I had to only give him 1/2 a dose, the vet said I could give it every other day, instead of every 3rd. You could always give the vet a call if you're not sure.
I didn't know if you were aware of that, so I just wanted to make sure you did. You can never be too safe.
You're welcome. That sounds like a good plan, & I'm glad it's helping him. I'm sure he did know
You're welcome.
It sounds like whatever was wrong with Rogue was pretty aggressive, and sometimes there's just no beating it no matter how hard we try. It sucks and its not fair.
I'm glad your others kitties are providing somewhat of a distraction.
I just read Rogue's memorial page. He was a very special, beautiful boy.
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I am so sorry for the loss of Rogue. He is a handsome boy and no doubt playing with the others up on the Bridge.
Everyone gave you great advice.
Rest Easy Mr.Rogue
Everyone gave you great advice.
Rest Easy Mr.Rogue
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- #32
Thank you, everyone. I'm truly amazed at how kind people are. I got a condolence card from the emergency vet today (which made me cry), and the other vet left a message saying they have some lab data for me. Will call her tomorrow. Meanwhile, the Rogue's symptoms were that of congestive heart failure, which is very unusual for a cat his age - that's why no one had a diagnosis for me.
For the Rogue, I am trying to let him go. I like to think that my great-grandmother Caroline, whom I never met but who was said to be very kind, is looking after him. The Rogue needs looking after because he gets sticks lodged between his teeth from biting into them, and burrs stuck all over from rolling in them.
I'm also working on his cat page, which will take a while, because the Rogue did a lot of mischief in his brief time with me and I have tons of pictures.
For the Rogue, I am trying to let him go. I like to think that my great-grandmother Caroline, whom I never met but who was said to be very kind, is looking after him. The Rogue needs looking after because he gets sticks lodged between his teeth from biting into them, and burrs stuck all over from rolling in them.
I'm also working on his cat page, which will take a while, because the Rogue did a lot of mischief in his brief time with me and I have tons of pictures.
The Rogue was a gorgeous gentleman. Please don't feel guilty; you saved him and gave him a great life filled with love. He was cherished; he still is. I'm so sorry for your loss.
I now have a gorgeous picture in my mind or The Rogue grinning out at me from TCS, teeth all flecked with twig splinters and fur dotted and curled up with burrs. Wonderful image of a happy cat.
A cat page is a great idea: hard emotionally but a treasure trove of loving memories which will never fade.
A cat page is a great idea: hard emotionally but a treasure trove of loving memories which will never fade.
Well, he was a handsome bugger wasn't he. Love the white patches on his cheeks.
I'm totally convinced there is no reason to beat yourself up. When you realised your cat was sick you dropped everything and leapt in the car. You rushed to the vet but tragically didn't make it. There's absolutely nothing to beat yourself up about. You didn't ignore his illness, you took him to various vets. You ignored your own body's needs for food and rest, sacrificing your comfort and health to do the best you could for for your pet. When you realised he was crashing you prioritised him as the most important thing in your life.
I wouldn't beat you up. I'd give you a hug and say I was proud of you.
So you didn't make it to the vet. They would have been very limited in their options. Your cat died with his human companion fighting for his life. What greater love could you have showed?
Now you have to think about yourself. That's what rogue would want. It's certainly what your other cats want and need. so here's the Gareth ten step guide for dealing with the loss of a cat
The critical bits - staying healthy
1. Eat enough food and force yourself to drink. you cannot cope with grief if your health is deteriorating
2. Go walking. Exercise will help you sleep, keep your metabolism going, and stop you from sitting in the house crying. Granted, if you're like me, you'll simply be crying when you walk, but hey...
3. Set a routine ands stick to it. Ensure the other animals get their food and water, and plenty of love. They need you now more than ever, and you need them.
Dealing with the immediacy
Right now, you will see rogue everywhere. You'll hear him, see his shadow. The loss will be tangible. I understand the agony you are in and I'm so sorry. There is little you can do to assuage the immediate pain, as time is really the only cure, but try these steps in the short term
4. Wrap up all your love and care for Rogue, and create a memorial website, or a scrapbook, or a video. The goal is to pour all of your love into it, so that others will understand your loss
5. Surround yourself with people that get it and lean on them. this the time that friends and family are for. People that understand your suffering and will help you through it. People that say " it was just a cat" should be put through a kitchen blender feet first.
6. Hard as it will be, try to remove some of the reminders you have. Feed bowls, toys etc, if they belonged specifically to Rogue. Put them somewhere safe. Don't throw them out, you will regret it.
Taking control of your own grief.
These are the things you need to do to find a path back to happiness. It's going to take time.
7. Read up on Grief. What you are feeling is absolutely no different in a psychological perspective from someone who has lost a spouse. This is well documented. The difference is that you will heal more quickly, but the short term pain and loss is identical. Y
8. Forgive yourself. You did everything you could. You're going to go through it in your head again and again looking to blame yourself. This is grief. But you need to forgive yourself. you love Rogue and he loved you. It just just his time.
9. Recognise that you are going to take forwards and backwards steps. You'll have good days and bad days. This is natural. Break them into chunks. Get through the next minute, the next hour. Days and weeks will take care of themselves
And the golden role
10. Remember him. If he was your special cat you are never going to forget him. Physically he is gone from the world, but the joy, laughter and love he shared with you will never be gone as long as you remember him. The lessons he taught you will always be remembered. you are a different person for having known him. So, in a very real sense, he may physically be absent but he will always be with you. In your dreams, in your thoughts, in your heart. Think of the happy times with him. In the fullness of time these happy memories are what will remain the strongest. You'll remember the last days but they won't cause that spike of agony they do now. So remember him. How he made you laugh, how he made you feel warm and loved. And remember you made him feel the same way. Thank you for giving a cat such a loving home. you clearly adored him.
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- #37
Thank you, Gareth. I love your posts in this forum.
Now, a week after his death, I am finally convinced that there is nothing I could have done to save him, and that he had a pretty good and well-lived life (I could not take his pain at the end, regrettably).
I do see him everywhere out of the corner of my eyes and have to get out of the habit of talking to him... and I like to think of Death like Terry Pratchett's one, very kind and fond of cats.
Anyway I'm left with all the other cats I had to take in to help raise the Rogue, and while they are still looking for him, they do their best to keep me busy.
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- #38
@roguethecat The Rogue's Cat Page is wonderful, so full of fun and adventure, and his purrsonality leaps out of the page. It is great. I hope you feel almost as much joy as sadness as you seach through all those photos and write about all your memories, and that looking back at the page brings laughter and warmth as you heal.
I just looked at Rogue's page, too. Such a character! The pictures certainly made me smile.
