How to heal from a cat loss

catmommylove

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Recently my baby betty boop passed on. While i took it hardmy daughter cries everyday. Shes four so betty boops in heaven and isnt sick anymore doesnt work. We buried her in the backyard. And put flowersson her grave. I thought about ordering a statue for it but shes so disturbed by the sight of the area itself she cries at it. And at school and everywhere we go. Its been a month now. My first question is how do i help her heal without damaging her more.
I also am curious if anyones ever experienced after passing moments. My daughter always goes to the grass outside our fence and to the right to "find" betty boop because she swears she saw her go that way. Everytime we leave or come home shes searching the same area. It may sound weird but her behavior and her response to my betty boops passing is odd. And add to it betty boop was my cat that never was outside. Shes was 12 when we rescued her from the shelter. So she basically hid and came out when she desired. Please help?
 

jenny82

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I'm so sorry for your loss of Betty Boop. I don't have any kids so I'm sorry I don't have any advice for you about your daughter. I hope you can both find peace.
 

jcat

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I'm very sorry for your loss of Betty Boop. :rbheart: I don't have children, either, but hopefully someone will come along that can give you some advice on how to best deal with your daughter's grief.
 

di and bob

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At four your daughter is not old enough to understand that death is final. Time is really the only thing that will help soften the feelings of loss and confusion. For now you could tell her that even though the cat she loved is gone now, the love she has and the love Betty Boop had for her will last forever and Betty's spirit is now free and all around her. That Betty will be soaring now on the breeze, happy to be with no more pain and healthy again. Tell her that even though the cat's age does not seem old to us, the cat was very old in cat years and it was her time to leave and be young and frisky again in spirit. And that the reason she thinks she 'sees' Betty is because Betty is nearby in spirit, always there to talk to and to pray to, and she will always be remembered. Let her place flowers where she thinks Betty Boop would like them, tell her the magical story of the Rainbow Bridge and how Betty Boop is safe and warm now and will wait many, many years for them to be together again, but for now you must both go on with your life as she would want, and fill it with happiness and sunshine, she loved you so and only wants the best for you both. In the future she may want to love another little soul, she would honor her Betty's memory by doing so and pass on the legacy of love she left you. For now you could donate a couple of cans of food at the shelter, or play with the kittens, it would make Betty so proud to know she was helping in some way. Let your little girl pick out the perfect marker when she is ready to do so, it will help her to accept that Betty is gone, but will never be forgotten. Above all don't dismiss her feelings of seeing Betty Boop or knowing she is near, there are things we will never understand in this world,  especially felt by or as seen through the eyes of a child. The 'essence' that was Betty is a part of this universe,and will be lovingly held in your daughters heart forever. My heart truly breaks for your pain, I wish I could make it all go away. All I can do is pray for you both, take care and hug your daughter for me.........RIP sweet Betty Boop, you will always be remembered, and will be forever held in loving hearts! 
 

ginny

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I'm so sorry about your dear Betty Boop.  (Btw, I love that name!)  I don't have kids either so this is just a thought.  Maybe your daughter is distressed because Betty Boop never was an outside kitty and now she is outside all the time?  I really don't know.  I'm not 4 anymore and I don't recall what made sense to me then.  But my mom also had an indoor kitty and when she passed my sister and her husband buried her outside in their backyard.  This didn't sit well at all with mom and she didn't rest until they dug her up and had her cremated, and brought back to mom's house, where she always stayed.  

Honestly, I don't know how cremation might affect her or if this is a good idea either for a 4 year old since she can't understand the concept of death yet, but it would be one way to bring Betty Boop back inside.  I do know this.  Kids are amazingly resilient.  I did have a niece and nephews that I took care of at times.  So I don't think she is "damaged" per se, although she is clearly distraught.  Perhaps you could take her to a grief counselor, one experienced with talking to children.  

Hope I said something that helps!  
 
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