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Getting married in 6 months...

post #1 of 20
Thread Starter 
I am getting very nervous! The place where our wedding is going to be held called me today and I have make an appointment for next week with them for some detail planning. As the day gets closer, I just get more and more nervous. It's getting to the point where everytime someone asks me "How's the wedding going?" I get a headache. The REAL work begins in April (invitations, flowers, etc.) but I don't know how to remain calm and cool during the next 6 months!! does anyone have any good advice, or words of wisdom???
post #2 of 20
I do! I got married August 10, 2002...and all you have to remember is you are going to be happy and you are going to marry the man you love! That's what is important! About the planning, it will be somewhat stressful throughout the whole process because you are planning one of the most important days in your life. Just remember: it's not going to be perfect, and something may happen that you don't like, but as long as you don't have any high expections of it and of any of the people around you...you should be fine. Remember: this is your day and what you make of it is up to you! Good luck sweetie! When is your big day?

P.S. My mother is getting married on July 17--so I am getting a taste of it again!
post #3 of 20
Thread Starter 
July 11 (headache) just kidding
post #4 of 20
It'll be ok... hang in there! Why is it so stressful for you? Please rant--I want to here it--you may feel better once you spill it..hehe!
post #5 of 20
I got married April 2003, so I remember this well. Breathe. As long as you are happy you are getting married, everything else will fall into place. I think an earlier poster's advice about not having super high expectations is right on the money. Decide to make it the best day you can, no matter what happens. Plus, you will get through the invites, the responses, the people that don't respond, or add people to the response card who weren't invited (yes, it happens) and everything will work out.

Here's my quick "make the best of it" story.

My new husband was about to throw the garter when some woman stormed into our reception, grabbed the microphone from the DJ and started ranting about how she was a paying guest and we were keeping her and her family awake. Well, the hotel people whisked her away and we all just started making more noise and having a better time. (I could have chosen to get terribly upset and cry and be p***ed that this woman crashed my reception, but I decided to have fun with it.) By hte way, she was just some crazy woman who wandered in. She had no family staying at the hotel!!!!

Remember, this is your wedding day, have an AMAZING time!!!
post #6 of 20
Thread Starter 
that story was hilarious!! well i guess it's so stressful because I am very young (20). and i know everyone reading this has the thought "she's too young" and stuff, but:
(1) we've been together 4 years and have lived together for 2
(2) we live as a married couple (shared money, bank accounts, credit cards)
(3) we're in love! and want to get married. besides, we both feel we are ready to make this commitment.

now that that's straightened out, it's so stressful because everything is happening all at once in my life, like graduating from college, having to find a job, being stuck in a crappy job, etc. i just feel overwhelmed. everyone is trying to help but both sets of parents live far away. maybe some anti-stress forum vibes would help...
post #7 of 20
I sooo understand. I am engaged but we have not made any wedding plans yet. I dont even want to THINK about it. We havent even set a date yet. I seriously just want to run to Vegas and just get it over with
post #8 of 20
I know what you mean about the nerves and all that I got married October 19 2002. My advice to you,such as it is, take some time for yourself.......breath.....Take some time away from the planning for just a little while so you will not go bonkers or worse turn into Bridezilla

Just remember that the little stuff doesn't matter in the end. When you walk down that aisle all you will see is the man that you love and nothing else there will be just you and him,at least that is how it was for me.

All the details will fall into place on the big day and some of the stuff that you worried yourself about is trivial(sp) when you look back.

I found that on our wedding day that noone cared if there was a program, noone cared if there was a wedding favor for them,noone cared that we didn't have alcohol or dancing. They just were happy that we wanted them to share our special day with them.

Remember to BREATH.... and take time for you!
post #9 of 20
Quote:
Originally posted by ccdogmuffin
.....I am very young (20). and i know everyone reading this has the thought "she's too young" and stuff.....

....we both feel we are ready to make this commitment.
I'm 20 too and have been engaged almost 3 years. I get that 'too young' thing alot...especially from my family! We want very much to be married, but when you dont have money then you cant. So atleast my family gets what they want for now!

There's only one main thing left since you've got all the finaces already worked out and live together: kids,religion,etc. Make sure things like that are covered. Since you've been together a while I'm sure it is already, but just in case it's not: make sure you've both discussed everything you dont want anything to create problems down the road after you're already married.

Dont worry. You'll get through the wedding no problem. Just dont let the wedding itself get in the way of your happyness. Remember you are going to be spending the rest of your life with the one you love. If the wedding doesnt go perfect it's not gonna change your love for each other so just be happy and enjoy.
I'm so happy for you two! I wish you both happyness, luck and patience.
post #10 of 20
I got married May 2002 , it is my second marriage . I did everything this time that I was too young to fight for the first time ( first time I was *just turned* 17 )We were renting a townhouse on otter pond in Sunapee NH for the summer so we were already at our honeymoon spot lol We didnt want a throng of ppl we got married at 8 AM on memorial day beside the river with us the justice of the peace a friend ( to take pics ) and all the kids when the service was being done we all stood in a circle holding hands we wrote own own vows which was nice , when it was over instead of Rice the kids blew bubbles at us We went home and had a big eating party with the kids then we all snuggled up together on the couch and took a well deserved nap lol have you ever tried to moblize 3 kids before 8 am all dressed up?? we needed a nap that night we put the kids to bed watched the sunset over the moutains , had a beatuiful toast , and went on with the grown up part of the day

the point of my story is make sure you do your wedding your way if its making you physically ill maybe you need to look at your stress level and how that will impact your memory of the best day of your life .

http://www.demerchantfamily.com/gallery/ourwedding/

my fav pic I love how hes looking at me

http://www.demerchantfamily.com/gall...eddingfav.html
post #11 of 20
I got engaged on Christmas Eve and am planning to get married September 2006.

Quote:
Dana said - the point of my story is make sure you do your wedding your way if its making you physically ill maybe you need to look at your stress level and how that will impact your memory of the best day of your life .
I totally agree with this. I'm 'eloping' to St Lucia to get hitched, just me and Jason. My family (thankfully my parents are okay with it) are almost through calling me 'selfish', 'awful', 'terrible' so I guess most of my stress is over. The thought of having my family all there makes my blood pressure go through the roof They don't get along sober so I dread to think what alcohol would do

Just enlist as much help as you think you need, delegate and make sure you book yourself in for a pamper and de-stress every so often. Remember that it will all be worth it when you walk down the aisle I'm still sending anti-stress vibes........ just incase
post #12 of 20
My bit of advice is what i tell any of my friends who are getting married.

ENJOY THE DAY!!!

The day goes so quickly, forget about worrying if people are enjoying themselves, because they will be!.

I never really ate my meal because i was too busy thinking of others when it was'nt necessary!.

And Jeepers, good for you, i wish i had done that!. Forget what others say, their the selfish ones for just thinking of a party at the end of it!!

Susan
post #13 of 20
Caprice -- I'm getting married on July 17th as well!

I too have less than 6 months until the big day. I think I was more stressed in the begining. Now that all of the "big things" are reserved, the rest seems like cake. Invitations just take time... favors just take time. Relax and enjoy the preparation! And remember, it's not the 'show' that matters... it's the fact that you two have decided to share your lives. Focus on that and I think you'll be fine.

... Oh, and it also helps to have a wonderful, really down to earth, maid of honor... (thanks, sis).

post #14 of 20
Thread Starter 
wow, everyone has such great advice! i have a GREAT maid of honour (canadian spellings) so that's a load off. i guess i was just focusing on how everything had to be perfect but truthfully, i guess all that matters is that you get to marry the man you love in front of friends and family. one really good thing: his family is italian and anyone who has ever been to an italian wedding knows that they LOVE to give money *ching ching*
post #15 of 20
Quote:
Originally posted by ccdogmuffin
that story was hilarious!! well i guess it's so stressful because I am very young (20). and i know everyone reading this has the thought "she's too young" and stuff, but:
(1) we've been together 4 years and have lived together for 2
(2) we live as a married couple (shared money, bank accounts, credit cards)
(3) we're in love! and want to get married. besides, we both feel we are ready to make this commitment.

now that that's straightened out, it's so stressful because everything is happening all at once in my life, like graduating from college, having to find a job, being stuck in a crappy job, etc. i just feel overwhelmed. everyone is trying to help but both sets of parents live far away. maybe some anti-stress forum vibes would help...
Wow--you sound just like me, I got married when I turned 20...you'll be fine...things will settle into place in a couple of months

Oh...and 20 isn't young if you had to "grow up" at a young age
post #16 of 20
Congrats Jill!

Looks like my mom and Doug are moving up the day...they are getting antsy...Zack and I were suppose to get married on December 28, 2002...but we didn't want to wait any longer...so we ended up getting married August 10, 2002
post #17 of 20

For a wedding humor break, check out this website...

And the bride wore... It helped me to stop, breathe, & laugh when things got too stressful.

I was going crazy planning our wedding last year, when my husband & I sat down & had a talk, and we realized:

The important thing about a wedding is that you and your husband-to-be declare your love with your wedding vows. It's an occasion for the two of you, and family & friends (if you wish) to celebrate your joining together as husband & wife. Everything else is just details, just gravy. You can make it as simple or as fancy as you & your fiancee want - don't let others pressure you or stress you out over how they think things should be. When the day is over, you'll have each other. That's all that really matters.

BTW, my cousin got married when she was only 19, and her husband was 20, and they're still going strong 16 years later.
post #18 of 20
I planned my first wedding a year in advance, and my second wedding for 2 weeks. I fretted over every last detail on the first wedding and hated the day when it came. I had so much more fun at my second wedding. It was actually more elaborate, more people, and felt like a big party. The little things that went wrong (our DJ was BAD), we laughed about, as we chalked it up to a 2 week planning effort. For the things that went well (the professional quartet that played the wedding and dinner was AWESOME), we patted ourselves on the back for pulling it off so quick.

The ceremony was simple (a judge married us at the reception hall), but we got the judge, wrote the vows, got the hall, a band, a DJ, the dresses, tuxes, invitee list, invites made and mailed, the cake, flowers, and wedding party gifts done in 2 weeks time. This for a quest list of 250 people.

We took shortcuts, like interviewing the band over the phone. She wanted to schedule a meeting with me so that I could hear their music. I asked if she could play me a song on her violin over the phone. She asked me what songs I wanted to hear. I told her the type of crowd that would be there and asked her to pick her favorites. She sounded good, and this group was doing CATS in downtown Chicago at the time, so I hired them on the spot.


So my advice: don't overplan and don't fret the little stuff. The most important part of the day is the commitment you are making with each other. Nothing else really matters.
post #19 of 20
YAY! Congrats on getting married, remember we're all here for you whether you need to cry,talk or laugh. Good luck and stay calm!! (((HUGS)))
post #20 of 20
Well I'm engaged. I'm 23. I will be finishing the last part of my degree at university this year. YAY! Then will be getting married at the end of 2005.

Have I planned anything? To be honest, no. That's for 2005. And do I feel like screaming when someone expects me to justify why I put my graduation first instead of the wedding? You betcha!

However, I've been to three weddings, helped out with two.

REDUCE the amount of wedding idea magazines once you make the final decision on things. I found that my best friend had tonnes of material at her disposal and quite frankly, you do NOT want to be focusing on possible other ideas in case something goes wrong in the week leading up to your wedding. I did my task as bridesmaid and accepted any magazine as possible sources of ideas for my wedding and never gave them back. I also gave some to her neighbour as she too is engaged to keep until after the wedding. Only keep what you have to, ESPECIALLY if it's a hairstyle that you want to have or for your maid of honour and bridesmaids to have.

Make daily goals and weekly goals. This will help you focus on what needs to be done at a particular time and hopefully reduce your attention to everything else.

I know you've got a terrific maid of honour helping you. But is there anyone else available that you know who would be willing to help without adding to your stress by whinging and complaining afterwards? Give out minor jobs to these people and keep the major ones to yourself and trusted ones. That way you don't have to worry about whether something is done right or wrong. You know it simply gets done. For example a minor job could be picking up stationery or dropping off something.

And at any point that you feel stressed out, do something to relieve it. If you don't want to talk about it because you're too upset, that's ok too. But so something!! And then resolve the situation the next chance you get. You have enough things to deal with, you don't want a problem festering in the background as well. Make sure that in all the planning for the wedding, plan some time for you in the timetable. Time when you are not doing anything related to the wedding. Make a wedding-free time in your schedule. It can be as simple as walking the dog!

And on the day! RELAX!!! Breathe! And for goodness sake, EAT BREAKFAST!!! I don't care if you have to be forcefed, But eat something. Have snacks on hand for during the day. It will be a long day, and you may not have the time for a full meal. If you're wearing a white dress, have some white dressmaking chalk handy as well. You can use it to hide marks while taking photos. Rub the chalk on the dress of course! And tissues! Make sure someone is carrying them.
And the best man might want to have some too just in case the groom gets teary. My best friend's hubby did. Us bridesmaids almost broke down at that point too...we were all looking away.

I think that's it for now.

Congratulations and best wishes for a beautiful day.
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