Need My Cats To Get Along

bearlypunk

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My first major interaction with my local animal shelter was around 8 years ago from this year when I was 9 years old (17 now). This is when I adopted my first cat after years of begging and pleading. Her name is Skitty and she has changed my life for the better. As I grew with her I learnt all her mannerisms and dedicated a lot of free time to researching cats and their behaviors.

​ 

   Fast forward to 2015, March 20th. At my old school, close to the art room, there was a group of kittens, tired thirsty and hungry. This wasn't the first litter as there is a female and a male who roam the school. (I assume its the same father each time as every litter has similar traits from the mother and then a few who are mostly black and bare no resemblance to the mother) I have helped with the previous litters and attempted to find them homes but due to classes and exams I was never able to assist too much. However this time I led a full scale operation as it was before exams and a lot of my classes were not full enough to be taught. On March 21st I took some cat food to school and a bowl for water and spent my morning on the balcony next to the roof putting out water and throwing food to the middle of the roof so they wouldn't be forced to come too close to my friends and I. Eventually we got the school handyman to go onto the roof and help us. Much to my dismay and protest he thought it a good idea to FLUSH them out of the gutter they were in. The first one ran onto the balcony and attempted to jump off the second floor. Luckily just as he had jumped I managed to catch him and pull him to safety.  We put him in a box with a small towel, food and water and took him into a secluded room in the school with a lab assistant who also loved cats. We never found the others until a little later. His displeased and soaked brother was hiding out on a ledge just under the roof. I stood on a chair and pulled him down to safety (not without his protest). Honestly I've still got a few scars to this day. Eventually the two of them learnt that we were only there to help them and they settled a little. The third was never found that day but I've heard he still roams the school and he is healthy. 

   Later that day, the two rescued kittens were taken to TTSPCA (the shelter) for a check up and a home. I begged and begged to keep the first one that I rescued and saved from the dangerous jump. He has grown into a very handsome tom cat. His brother was adopted the next day. These cats were named Frankie and Chai;
 

​In between the adoption of Skitty and the rescue of Frankie, I've saved and cared for two stray kittens that wandered into our yard, Cinnamon and Finn, we found a home for Cinnamon and Finn was taken to TTSPCA.

I have loved animals my whole life, and personally struggling with things like depression and anxiety, my two cats have helped me a great deal and I owe it to them to find a way to give back. Helping animals is truly a passion of mine and always has been.

I am also studying photography and animals are by far my favourite subjects.

(Pictures of Frankie all grown up below)
 

 

I have two cats, Skitty (Female, 8) and Frankie (Male, 1)

Things aren't always too peaceful. Being such huge cat fans my family and I all started religiously watching My Cat From Hell. We proceeded to use the methods from the show to introduce Frankie and Skitty. Sadly this hasn't changed much. They don't fight too much, and Frankie just wants to play but Skitty doesn't seem to understand that and immediately takes to hissing at him. I feel that it may be because she was adopted at a young age and had barely any interaction with other cats. Her main experiences being small fights with stray cats which might have caused her to not trust other cats. There was only ever one cat that I remember her being friendly with and we nicknamed him Snickers. Sadly one morning we woke up to him in front our gate dead. After that she was even less friendly to any visitors at all. Fast forward a few years to now. We've had Frankie for a year now and Skitty for eight. We had hoped that all our efforts would have helped Skitty realise he isn't a threat and she remains the queen with control over the house but she still isn't happy about the situation. She continues to hiss at him and sometimes if she gets too annoyed she will chase him and start swatting at him. Obviously Frankie responds in self deffense, however he is around her size already and is still going to grow. I'm not sure how else to help their interactions.
 
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bearlypunk

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The missing pictures:

(Skitty)





(First pic: Frankie shortly after coming home, Second pic: Chai on adoption day, Third and fourth pictures: Frankie and Chai together on the day they were rescued)



(Frankie all grown up)
 

2Cats4everLoved

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I've had my cat since he was 2 weeks old now 12, he's an indoor cat and he's very skittish of people (we don't have too much traffic) and looks at the strays outside as rats.  When my dad passed we took in his cat who we adopted for him when he lost his cat, she is the same age as Simon.  When we took her in Simon would smack her in the forehead (nails IN) which made it more insulting to Chestnut.

Simon for the most part thinks he's human, he has a large vocabulary which he understands, and looks at Chestnut like, what the heck is that. LOL

They're only a month apart and were both 8 at the time they were thrown together and 5 years later Simon doesn't make as much as a fuss, but still lets her know who's place it is.  It wasn't until recently when they both fell ill for different reasons, Simon no longer hisses or smacks her.

In Simon's defense, he never really saw another cat.  We tried to bring him down to my dads apartment, but he wanted nothing to do with it and just likes to be home in his territory.  This was his home and his alone and wanted to share with no one.  Animal instinct, his territory.

Skitty will mellow out but it will take time.  I don't know if being an indoor/outdoor cat plays an additional factor, but in truth it was her place first.

I watched a littler of 5  in my apt  for for my neighbor a few years back and Chestnut just slept all day, but Simon was visibly upset and bit my hand which swelled up like a balloon.  He loathed the kittens and made sure we knew it.  But again, his place, I needed to respect that.

Good luck, they're both really cute.
 

2Cats4everLoved

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I would play with Frankie in a different area than Skitty so it doesn't freak her out.  I'm not sure what her play habits are with you but it seems like she's not keen on seeing you play with Frankie.

Don't go out of your way to try too hard, she'll mellow out and come around eventually.

Good luck, Cheers...
 
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bearlypunk

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Skitty doesn't really play at all anymore, she will hunt outside and only really play when catnip is involved, other than that the only thing she truly loves is her tennis ball. The only time we play with Frankie around her is to distract him when she starts growling. I'll definitely try harder for play separation, thanks :)
 

2Cats4everLoved

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Remember you know them, do what you think is best.  In my case when we play with Chestnut we do it when Simon is sleeping.  But that's usually short lived when he hears the commotion, then takes over.  But if we didn't she'd never get any exercise. LOL  Rock and hard place I suppose.

good luck with your wee ones.  
 

backwoodsvet

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Sadly,  they may never be super friends,  but you may need to let them work it out,  now I know that means that Frankie will probably have to get swatted at a few more times but sometimes that is best so they understand each others limits,  and it may take time even if Skitty never really owns up to the new guy in town,  Frankie will probably try for a long time to chum up to what he see's as the boss around there(Skitty) and hopefully Skitty will tolerate him better someday,  but it will take time.................
 

Anne

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Just wanted to add we have lots of tips here - 

 [article="32680"]How To Successfully Introduce Cats The Ultimate Guide​[/article]  

I realize you're not asking about introductions but since the cats aren't getting along, I think the advice in that article will mostly apply to your situation as well. Good luck!
 

josbd

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It rather sounds as though you have done just about everything you can do to socialise the pair of them. I  have had a number of situations over the years where it seems a newly introduced pair will never ever get one, and on a number of occasions, I have come back late at night to find each pair curled up next to each other...... only to spring apart and snarl at each other for my benefit!

Are your two beauties fighting? I think maybe if they are not causing actual damage to each other then they should be left to work things out. Trouble is they will no doubt keep you stressed and worried as they carry on creating what appears to be an in house war! I would suspect that until Frankie learns that playing with Skitty is not an option, and gives Skitty the space she wants, then you will not get much peace.

My two youngest,  Bandit and Toby are forever fighting (it seems). They go outside, and happily socialise with other cats in the area without an issue. Within 5 minutes of arriving home, the wailing and snarling starts up. When I go to sort them out, there is never much going on. We came to the conclusion that Toby is a drama queen, does not like his position as youngest being taken over by Bandit, and Bandit simply winds him up. Because he is like that!

Oh not much fun for you. I do hope they settle soon.
 
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bearlypunk

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Are your two beauties fighting? I think maybe if they are not causing actual damage to each other then they should be left to work things out. Trouble is they will no doubt keep you stressed and worried as they carry on creating what appears to be an in house war! I would suspect that until Frankie learns that playing with Skitty is not an option, and gives Skitty the space she wants, then you will not get much peace.
Luckily they don't fight much. Its more just a lot of hissing, and occasionally a snarl-y chase. I think Frankie needs to learn his limits as he is quite mischievous and will watch her sleeping then bat her head with his paw to see how she responds (Claws sheathed) I think when he mellows out a bit things will be easier. Thanks :)
 

josbd

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My two youngest are rather like that. Bandit will wait til Toby is asleep and jump him. Toby snarls and there is a skirmish. Quite ironic since this is exactly what Toby did to one of the older cats when he first arrived!

These skirmishes never involve claws or viciousness, and sound far more alarming than they actually are. I don't know whether this might be the same for yours. I wish you every luck!
 

catminionjess

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I adopted Boogie Bear when she a kitten, maybe 2 months old. A year later my sister found Sgt. Pepper near some train tracks by her work. He was maybe 3 months old. She was spayed before I got him and he was neutered as soon as he was old enough. They can usually walk past each other and not fight, but sometimes I hear them nipping and squawking at each other for no real reason. They have their own food bowls, but won't eat next to each other. They take turns, but don't fight about it. Boogie Bear gets really mad when Sgt. Pepper tries to play with her. She hisses, swats at him and runs off. Sgt. Pepper isn't phased by her grumpiness. He likes to run from one end of the living room and leap over her (without touching her) just to mess with her. They are 10 and 9 now and only one time was there really any real violence between the two. It was in 2010 I was probably at work and didn't actually see the fight happen. It was a couple days later I noticed when I tried to pet Boogie Bear's back down to her tail. It was like she jumped out of her skin when I touched the base of her tail. Turns out Sgt. Pepper must of bit her too hard in one of their skirmishes. The vet shaved that spot and gave her antibiotics. They haven't been around a lot of other people or cats since I adopted them. 

Skitty's attitude towards Frankie sounds like my Boogie Bear's attitude towards my Sgt. Pepper. Boogie Bear is the alpha cat, just like Skitty is your alpha cat. She doesn't want anyone in her space. Boogie Bear mostly just tolerates Sgt. Pepper. She only really interacts with him to say, "hey I'm the boss." I think if Skitty and Frankie aren't actually hurting each other in their spats, you don't need to worry that much. It's just them working out their hierarchy. Frankie is still a young cat too so in the next couple of years he may mellow out some and not want to mess with Skitty as much. 

If they are hurting each other, you may need to find a way to keep them separated. At least when you're not around. That is what I have to do with my 3rd cat, Jumbo. He popped up in my yard 5 years ago and I started looking out for him outside. I brought him inside permanently almost 4 years ago. He wants to be the alpha, but Boogie Bear isn't going to let that happen. So Jumbo stays in his own cat/computer room while I'm gone. They hide from him when I'm home and he's out and about. Luckily it doesn't sound like that's something you have to worry about right now with Skitty and Frankie though.
 
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