Nico 02/28/2016

nicosasha

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I cant believe he is gone, I miss him and think of him like I never did before when he was around. For some reason I cant seem to recollect any good memories, his last few days of my running around before his very quick death are the ones haunting me. I did not even realize my boy was a senior and at health risk. Appears I just realized I had a family member only to have lost him.

I have some pictures that do show me he was happy and well fed. 

http://www.thecatsite.com/g/i/334949/a/273184/nico-2004/

http://www.thecatsite.com/g/i/334950/a/273184/nico-2011/

http://www.thecatsite.com/g/i/334951/a/273184/nico-2012/

http://www.thecatsite.com/g/i/335399/a/273184/nico-2014/

http://www.thecatsite.com/g/i/334952/a/273184/nico-2015/

But he deserved way more petting and way more treats. I hope he can see me crying for him from wherever he is.
 

sweetdz99

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hugs to you.  I am so sorry for your loss.   Nico looked like a happy kitty
 
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nicosasha

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hugs to you.  I am so sorry for your loss.   Nico looked like a happy kitty
Thank you, he loved people, no visitor would go unnoticed or unrubbed. He had some anxiety as he was given up when he was around 4, I have been scratched a million times if I ever tried to hold him, but he warmed up to us within minutes of us getting him home. It has been 11 years and I remember the first night he was walking on our pillow on our heads, and would always take me to his food bowl right after I stepped inside the house.

I really should have had a few more years or months or even weeks with him, I cant believe he was gone so soon after the diagnosis. His kidney moved from stage 3 to 4 within 5 days.
 

sweetdz99

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You are welcome.  I'm so sorry.  I hope that you can find peace in your heart to know that Nico is in a better place.  Enjoying the sunshine, treats and running around without pain or suffering and I am sure he is looking in on you and waiting for the day when he can walk across your heads again. 
 

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Nico knew he was loved and that is all he ever wanted. All of us in the grief process  have those feelings of guilt and that something more should have been done, but in reality we were doing all we could by loving them and giving them a home, and in return they give us unconditional love. Try not to dwell on all those should haves, could haves, I know it is impossible at times not to do so, but believe me, it only brings heartache and pain. All he asks of you is to take his legacy of love that he left in your care and share it with another little deserving soul who so desperately needs someone to care. If you can't bring yourself to do that, give your time at a shelter or pay for the adoption of a shelter pet, all in his name. I found that doing good in my baby's name validated their existence here on this earth, and some how kept their spirit bound closer to my heart.   The bond you have formed with Nico will be with you forever, no one can ever take it away, he will be held forever in your loving heart and I pray his precious memory will one day comfort you, not break your heart. My heart goes out to you, I'll pray for you both, please take care of that newly broken heart, it will take a long time to heal. RIP sweet Nico, you knew you were so greatly loved, the world is a little darker with your passing, but your star shines bright in the evening sky!
 

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I recall your earlier thread, I was praying that Nico would make a recovery.  He was a very beautiful cat and most importantly he knew what it was to be loved.  RIP sweet Nico  
 
 

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I'm so sorry for your loss. I love black kitties, and he had really nice eyes. Sounds like he was very special. RIP Nico.
 
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nicosasha

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You are welcome.  I'm so sorry.  I hope that you can find peace in your heart to know that Nico is in a better place.  Enjoying the sunshine, treats and running around without pain or suffering and I am sure he is looking in on you and waiting for the day when he can walk across your heads again. 
Thanks, this made me tear up.

Somehow I like to think of his spirit as still in the house ( I am not religious), in my cat Sasha, doing things he used to do hanging around with us, but all invisible. He really has nowhere else to go. 

Maybe it is all in my head, but so what?
 
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nicosasha

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Nico knew he was loved and that is all he ever wanted. All of us in the grief process  have those feelings of guilt and that something more should have been done, but in reality we were doing all we could by loving them and giving them a home, and in return they give us unconditional love. 
Thanks, I cant tell you how much comfort your line above brings. I have read your response so many times last night.
 All he asks of you is to take his legacy of love that he left in your care and share it with another little deserving soul who so desperately needs someone to care. If you can't bring yourself to do that, give your time at a shelter or pay for the adoption of a shelter pet, all in his name. I found that doing good in my baby's name validated their existence here on this earth, and some how kept their spirit bound closer to my heart.  
I was thinking of getting a senior black cat as I read they are not easily adopted, this would give meaning to his death. But I have another senior cat Sasha with heart disease and multiple things going on (will start a new thread for some help, Feb has been incredibly rough) so I cant stress her, and moreover getting another cat now is just too early when I am in such an emotional state. We will probably not get any more cats.

I have sponsored two adult (handsome) black cats, thinking of using Nico's monthly budget to keep sponsoring cats.

And yes I will be volunteering atleast once a month in the local humane society to do kitty socialization, I cant wait for my orientation. That is the one thing I am really looking forward to.
 
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nicosasha

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I recall your earlier thread, I was praying that Nico would make a recovery.  He was a very beautiful cat and most importantly he knew what it was to be loved.  RIP sweet Nico  
 
Thanks I agree he was too fluffy and handsome. I hope he knew I loved him and was loyal to him till the very end in spite of life's curve balls. 
 
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nicosasha

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I'm so sorry for your loss. I love black kitties, and he had really nice eyes. Sounds like he was very special. RIP Nico.
Yes he had great green eyes

He was a master of camouflage, he loved all black things the laptop, the laptop bag, the stroller, the TV, the black cabinets. He was doing an excellent job here:

http://www.thecatsite.com/g/i/335510/a/273184/nico-camo

And very subtle here, unless you looked twice you could easily miss him in the bookcase, very clever:

http://www.thecatsite.com/g/i/335511/a/273184/nico-tv/ 
 

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I'm glad I could give you something to cling to, to comfort you at this terrible time. I clung to the thought that my little girl would NEVER want me to be so sad when I think of her, she loved me too much. It truly helped me in my darkest hours. Don't apologize for not getting another cat in your life, I am in the same situation too, there is always other things we can do to keep those precious little souls in our lives, I will always try to find homes for as many as I can, and in this way am helping so many more. I almost have to laugh when I say no more cats, I have 4 playing right now in the sunroom , I let the two abandoned ones in for a little socializing every day. They all give me so much joy! 
 

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Nico was indeed a handsome boy.   He knew how much you loved him, and that you always will.  I'm very sorry for your loss.  
 
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nicosasha

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I'm so sorry for your loss, my thoughts and prayers go out to you during this difficult time.


RIP Nico
Thank you, it is very unfair they leave us so soon after being in our life for so long. It is neither here nor there.
 
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nicosasha

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Thank you, having a very hard time tonight as he died exactly 4 weeks ago on a Sunday evening. I remember the cold dark evening I took him to the ER, the long drive, waiting outside for 20 mins, only to be told he is passing away NOW.

I can see his face very night in my sleep.
I would give anything to get back 30 mins with him.
The guilt and regret are sometimes unbearable.
 

zed xyzed

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I followed your thread very closely and was hoping the sweet boy would pull through. In following the thread there is one thing I can say with 100 % certainty, and that is, you did everything you could, you exhausted all options and he knew that he was loved by you. I am sorry you are haunted by his last moments, I hope that memories of the good times replace the last painful moments.  
 
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nicosasha

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I followed your thread very closely and was hoping the sweet boy would pull through. In following the thread there is one thing I can say with 100 % certainty, and that is, you did everything you could, you exhausted all options and he knew that he was loved by you. I am sorry you are haunted by his last moments, I hope that memories of the good times replace the last painful moments.  
Thank you, as you read from my other post, there was lot of time and effort and cost spent on Sasha and only a tiny fraction of all that on him, but yes I cant blame myself for I did not know that he would go down so soon without giving me any time at all. 

On a positive note, I am glad he was part of our family and I think his spirit lives next to me. And not to sound morbid, but after all, all of us are moving towards our death just at different times, and someday I will join him.
 
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