Coping with the loss of Angel

catlover73

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I'm not sure what line my hairdresser uses, but I do know the salon changes the line from time to time.  I had a vibrant red once that I really loved, but it literally washed out in my shower!   Maybe my hair isn't the right texture to really hold the red for a long time.  Course I only get it coloured every other cut.  So every 3 months.  Maybe that's the problem!  
I am not a hair dresser but I used to do red's on my hair when I was a receptionist at a salon.  Red's are the hardest color to maintain.  I used to have the same problem even though it was touched up more often.  I wash my hair every day and that does not work well with red's.  My hair color used to rinse out in the shower too.  We switched to brown's with red in them.  For some reason at least with me the red faded slower when mixed with the brown.

The red washing out may have very little to do with texture of your hair,  I was told to wash my hair with conditioner and only shampoo it a few times a week.  This did seem to help a little.  

I loved having red hair but now that I am no longer working in a salon it is way too expensive to maintain.  I only had to pay 10% of product cost and the tip for the person doing my hair.  I don't bother with hair color at all right now.
 

rubysmama

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I am not a hair dresser but I used to do red's on my hair when I was a receptionist at a salon.  Red's are the hardest color to maintain.  I used to have the same problem even though it was touched up more often.  I wash my hair every day and that does not work well with red's.  My hair color used to rinse out in the shower too.  We switched to brown's with red in them.  For some reason at least with me the red faded slower when mixed with the brown.

The red washing out may have very little to do with texture of your hair,  I was told to wash my hair with conditioner and only shampoo it a few times a week.  This did seem to help a little.  

I loved having red hair but now that I am no longer working in a salon it is way too expensive to maintain.  I only had to pay 10% of product cost and the tip for the person doing my hair.  I don't bother with hair color at all right now.
My hair dresser has explained how red is the hardest to maintain. She recommends shampoo & conditioner for colour treated hair, which I do use.  She's never mentioned using conditioner more and shampoo sparingly, however, she has said that hot water, summer sun and even wind can fade red coloured hair.   I think she's using a more auburn red on my hair these days, which though fades, looks less orange as time goes by.
 
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angels mommy

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I'm not sure what line my hairdresser uses, but I do know the salon changes the line from time to time.  I had a vibrant red once that I really loved, but it literally washed out in my shower!   Maybe my hair isn't the right texture to really hold the red for a long time.  Course I only get it coloured every other cut.  So every 3 months.  Maybe that's the problem!  
Make sure she was using permanent, not a semi permanent.  If you are getting that much rinse out of color when you first wash it after a color, she may just not be rinsing you enough after shampooing it out at the salon.  Yes, the less you shampoo it, the longer it last. I always try to keep it as close to a week( if possible), after getting it first done, but mainly because of the blow out!  4-5 days at least!    

I always try to make my apt. at the end of the week, so I am not going to be working for a couple or few days, so that helps as far as waiting to wash it.
 
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angels mommy

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So, back to kitty talk. I am No WAY ready for another yet by any means, but here is what's been on my mind in regards to that.  

I have been talking about wanting to try & get some bills paid off first. Especially the Care Credit!  (still stuff on there from his cystitis visits yrs ago, since I couldn't pay it all before the interest started kicking in, & it is high for that card, but was grateful for it just the same).   I want to do that so I will be in a better place financially for when I am ready to adopt.  I have also thought about when I finally do, getting two, so they will have each other company, & I won't feel so guilty for leaving the house for any length of time, etc... I mean, I wouldn't even leave Angel for a long time, or just overnight. He wasn't used to me ever doing that, so I felt like he would wonder when / if  I was coming home.  (I'm such an overprotective mommy!) 

....or if I ever did board for going out of town, having two, they would have each other there. I also need to be able to afford vet bills for two!!  

So that's what I've been kind of thinking of. 

I have to say, I also love little white west highland terriers, & love the fact that dogs are more mobile, in the way that they can just jump in the car & go w/ you to some places, (& stay at my sisters w/ her dogs if I ever traveled).  but can't really have a dog here, I don't think my landlord would go for it,

plus, I would really miss a kitty!  
   
 

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I certainly understand being an overprotective mommy.  I feel the same way towards Ruby. I'm home with her a lot, so when I do go out for longer than usual, never overnight, I worry that she is missing me. But since she's usually asleep when I get home, I'm sure she was fine.  And most cats are pretty independent that way.   

Dogs, on the other hand, are more apt to miss their owner when they're away, or so I've been told.  My family never had a dog, only cats (one at a time in fact) so I really only know about having single kitties. Dogs also need to get outdoor exercise. And of course don't use a litter box! 


Two kittens raised together would likely become best buddies.  Or 2 older siblings adopted from a shelter, if you went the adoption route.  I've wondered if Ruby would like a feline friend, but my gut says no. And if I worry about one cat, two would be twice the worry!   Not to mention the cost.  Spoiling cats isn't cheap! 


About your Care Credit and other bills, have you talked to your bank about consolidating the bills into one bank loan.  I had a co-worker who was drowning in credit card bills and once she got a personal bank loan with a reasonable interest rate, she was able to get out of debt. I believe, in fact, her monthly payment on the loan was less than the total of all the minimums she was paying on the credit cards.  Yes, she was badly in debt. This was several years ago, but I think current bank interest rates should still be less than the credit card rates.

Another idea is to call the credit card companies, and ask them to lower the interest rate. If you imply that the rate is too high and you can't afford to pay, they might prefer to lower your interest rate rather than take the chance of you declaring bankruptcy which would mean they'd get paid nothing.  Or if you qualify, try transferring your credit card balances to a 0% credit card.  One more thing, if your bills are mostly credit cards, and you are able to pay more than the monthly minimum, be sure to put the extra on the card with the highest interest rate.  

Sorry to have strayed off the kitty chat again, but I wanted to share a few money things I've learned over the years. One of my favourite shows is Till Debt Do Us Part - http://www.slice.ca/til-debt-do-us-part/
 
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I certainly understand being an overprotective mommy.  I feel the same way towards Ruby. I'm home with her a lot, so when I do go out for longer than usual, never overnight, I worry that she is missing me. But since she's usually asleep when I get home, I'm sure she was fine.  And most cats are pretty independent that way.   

Dogs, on the other hand, are more apt to miss their owner when they're away, or so I've been told.  My family never had a dog, only cats (one at a time in fact) so I really only know about having single kitties. Dogs also need to get outdoor exercise. And of course don't use a litter box! 


Two kittens raised together would likely become best buddies.  Or 2 older siblings adopted from a shelter, if you went the adoption route.  I've wondered if Ruby would like a feline friend, but my gut says no. And if I worry about one cat, two would be twice the worry!   Not to mention the cost.  Spoiling cats isn't cheap! 


About your Care Credit and other bills, have you talked to your bank about consolidating the bills into one bank loan.  I had a co-worker who was drowning in credit card bills and once she got a personal bank loan with a reasonable interest rate, she was able to get out of debt. I believe, in fact, her monthly payment on the loan was less than the total of all the minimums she was paying on the credit cards.  Yes, she was badly in debt. This was several years ago, but I think current bank interest rates should still be less than the credit card rates.

Another idea is to call the credit card companies, and ask them to lower the interest rate. If you imply that the rate is too high and you can't afford to pay, they might prefer to lower your interest rate rather than take the chance of you declaring bankruptcy which would mean they'd get paid nothing.  Or if you qualify, try transferring your credit card balances to a 0% credit card.  One more thing, if your bills are mostly credit cards, and you are able to pay more than the monthly minimum, be sure to put the extra on the card with the highest interest rate.  

Sorry to have strayed off the kitty chat again, but I wanted to share a few money things I've learned over the years. One of my favourite shows is Till Debt Do Us Part - http://www.slice.ca/til-debt-do-us-part/
These are all great ideas when it comes to debt. Care credit is wonderful at giving money when you need it, but its almost possible to pay it off due to high interest. When my friend racked up 15,000 on care credit to save her dog she ended up going to her bank and getting a personal loan at much lower interest so that she could pay it off. 

On the actual cat thing, there are lots of bonded cat pairs at our local shelter who are looking for homes. Two is better than one for sure. I love having two cats. 
 

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All great, positive thinking for a fur filled future @Angels mommy  .  
     You might even want to think about a little dog and a cat as if you get them together (and both been raised with cats and dogs together).  Many cats feel much happier and less stressed about territory when sharing space with a dog than another cat.  They are both tying in different ways though - dogs and their inability to toilet on their own and cats usual dislike of going to stay in unfamiliar places.  

A word of caution:  I managed to be just as over-protective with my two previous cats as I am with Mouse.  I still hated leaving them for longer than my day at work.  
 
 
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angels mommy

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Thanks for the ideas guys, but the last time I checked into it, the payment would have been around the same to consolidate, so I never did. Besides, I'm not that in over my head, I just want to eliminate the care credit because of the high interest. I am able to pay the bills I have. I just want to have less, so I can save/ have more money, & then don't have to use them. The care credit balance is under 1,800.00, so payments are around 60.00 right now. I plan on increasing the payment amount as often as I can. The only other two cards I have are a visa, & Discover, which combined, are under 4,000.00, so payments are in the 50's. 

I want to focus on the care credit first, since it has the high interest. (truth be told, I also make less than I did when I got the cards, but feels like more, since i am paid cash per job, but don't think I could get a loan for that now, besides, I am still able to pay my bills & sometimes a little extra, so I am just paying them off individually).  I pretty much just use the Discover when I order on line, so I am not using my debit card. It's just more secure & protected. So, I will slowly chip away at it as I can, even if it's only an extra 5-10 dollars at least, but want to aim for more than that of course. I also will have a car payment for a few more years. This week is only 2 years that I've had it now. So about 3 more years. 

Yes, two kitties are twice the expenses, so if I do that in the future, I want to make sure I can do that w/o struggling!  Especially because I know they would be eating good quality food. AND being spoiled of course!! 


Yea, my landlord wouldn't allow me to have a dog here anyway. ....And yes, you have to take them out for walks everyday, etc....  I would only want to do that if I had a yard of my own, & fenced in, so that's not happening.

@MServant, Yup, I'd probably feel the same way too!  I wouldn't leave Angel very long either. No more than a day at work, & yes, on the rare occasion that there was something to go to after being gone all day, even if I was home between for a bit, I didn't feel right leaving him again, so rarely did.  (So yea, not much of a social life!)  but I didn't care, he was my baby. I'd rather be home w/ him anyway. 
 

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Hi, when I went away for a week I would have my mom stay at my house with the cats. My cats loved my mom and my mom thought they were a lot of fun. The best part of the vacation was coming home to my babies. So when your ready definitely get 2 cats. :)
 
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angels mommy

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Hi, when I went away for a week I would have my mom stay at my house with the cats. My cats loved my mom and my mom thought they were a lot of fun. The best part of the vacation was coming home to my babies. So when your ready definitely get 2 cats.
Yea, I had been thinking if I went out of town, even just for the weekend, I would have had my mom stay here w/ Angel, because she pretty much knew everything about him & anything he needed as I talk to her almost daily.  I joked with her that she could "get a break from dad." LOL!   (but also worried a little because she doesn't do great w/ stairs, & I have 13 up to my door! )
 

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Hi, when I went away for a week I would have my mom stay at my house with the cats. My cats loved my mom and my mom thought they were a lot of fun. The best part of the vacation was coming home to my babies. So when your ready definitely get 2 cats.
That's what I did occasionally when I had my two 'girls'.   It was always a struggle to persuade myself to go anywhere but sometimes people just wouldn't take no to their invitations for me to visit.  In those days my mom was younger and able to cope with kitty litter and feeding, plus managing all the steep stairs up to my apartment.   She's never been much of a cat person (or any animal for that matter) but she was always happy to come and care for her furry 'grandkids'. Sadly these days, like you Angels mommy,  I wouldn't want her coming and going from my apartment without someone else with her on the stairs, and coping with the litter tray would probably be a bit much for her too.  Mouse loves her to bits so it is a shame.     

And as that old saying goes, absence makes the heart grow fonder, the best bit of any trip away always seems to be coming back home to the cat family.  
 
 

rubysmama

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Thanks for the ideas guys, but the last time I checked into it, the payment would have been around the same to consolidate, so I never did. 
One thing to consider, though, even if the payment was the same, if the interest rate was lower, more of your payment would be going to pay off your actual debt. Mightn't hurt to meet  with your bank. and get their advice.

And now I promise no more hair colour or financial advice posts from me.
 
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angels mommy

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That's what I did occasionally when I had my two 'girls'.   It was always a struggle to persuade myself to go anywhere but sometimes people just wouldn't take no to their invitations for me to visit.  In those days my mom was younger and able to cope with kitty litter and feeding, plus managing all the steep stairs up to my apartment.   She's never been much of a cat person (or any animal for that matter) but she was always happy to come and care for her furry 'grandkids'. Sadly these days, like you Angels mommy,  I wouldn't want her coming and going from my apartment without someone else with her on the stairs, and coping with the litter tray would probably be a bit much for her too.  Mouse loves her to bits so it is a shame.     

And as that old saying goes, absence makes the heart grow fonder, the best bit of any trip away always seems to be coming back home to the cat family.  
 
Yea, my mom is only 68, & a young 68, my dad turned 70 in Oct. & they are both young for their age. They stay pretty active. I joke that they are busier than I am & they are retired! LOL. My mom just has an issue with her left leg & foot. The heal on that foot doesn't reach the ground, & her foot slightly turns in a bit. For all of her life, they thought she had Polio when she was a child, only for a physical therapist to finally discover & tell her, just around 10-11 years ago, that it was a little cerebral palsy in that foot. So she walks fine, but a lot of stairs aren't great, although she does just fine. Like I said she is active. She & a friend go walking all the time, & she takes an exercise class in a pool. She also has a plastic boot that she can strap on once & a while to make sure her foot doesn't continue to turn in more. 
 
One thing to consider, though, even if the payment was the same, if the interest rate was lower, more of your payment would be going to pay off your actual debt. Mightn't hurt to meet  with your bank. and get their advice.

And now I promise no more hair colour or financial advice posts from me.
That's a good point!    ...LOL, okay. 
 

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   Theses are the knobs I am putting on it when done! I found them at Hobby Lobby, & last week they were 50% off!  So, this is probably what I will be doing/working on next weekend!

...
The inspiring and motivating part for me, is all the things that you've been doing....AND it's not even Springtime yet.


(As for the coffee table...I think you're supposed to find some sort of "primer paint" to use to cover the wood first...then fine-sand again, apply final coats, then gloss/clear coat or varnish protector,..but since I think painting is so difficult and does not turn out the way I expect...I'll just let you finish this piece and admire it.
This job would take me 3 months to do...not just a weekend or two...
  I can't wait until you finish it.
)

Anyhow, Kelly, thanks for the things you write, and for the other members who write too, because for me, like I said, reading things and seeing your photos gets me motivated.

(I had to look up "white west highland terrier". You're wanting a dog that looks smaller than a cat..
.umm...Super cute, but I'd go and visit them first...just to be sure that cats would not dominate the little dogs.)


Seriously, though, when you're ready, and because you're already thinking about getting a pair of cats...then somehow I think that your plan to wait, and get more financially secure is a very sensible plan..

but you know how life sometimes is...Our plans get thrown out the window.

So like you said before..."take it day by day".

I like how you're keeping positive and busy.  As always I wish you well. 
 
 

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If you want some company before you are comfortable financially, you can foster a cat or two, or a dog.  All the rescues and some shelters use fosters and many turn away animals in need due to a lack of available foster homes.  All rescues and shelters cover medical and some provide food and litter. 
 

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@cat nap  Your advice on 'Westies' made me smile.  
    A few people I know have /had Westies and though they are fairly small (still bigger than most cats)  they have that typical small dog mentality and are pretty feisty.   I'd rather be challenged by a big Labrador than a little Westie or Chiwawa.  
    I'm not sure I'd trust a Westie and a cat, I rented a room once where the landlady's mom had a Westie and a little Poodle.  The Poodle didn't fare too well one night when it annoyed the other dog while the owners were out.  
   I won't go in to detail but it was very traumatic.   
 
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I've been a little 'under the weather' lately, with a winter 'cold virus', yet reading this thread has been very inspiring, motivating and informative.
Of course, some parts were naturally sad, but thoughtful too, especially the part where you saw that 'calendar date in March' and finding Angel's 'blue feather ball', while cleaning. :angel3:
I could blame the 'cold medication' but I got really kind of sad at the realization that Angel could never be physically with you again. Though in all honesty, Kelly, your Angel will always be a part of TCSite,
and a special TCS cat...because of how you shared him with all of us, through your photos and stories.

(I lost my senior cat, Spotty, this past November,..so it got me thinking how this heartache is so universal when we lose our animals. Part of that, had to do with realizing that none of our 'rainbow cats/animals' could ever be with us for the length of time that we'd want them to be, or stay with us longer, and become healthier, or whatever we wished.)

Then I realized, that perhaps some of our really sad moments are all part of special 'golden moments' in which we are meant to remember, release some heartache, and find or realize certain things...that we would not regularly do...if not for finding a 'blue feather ball', ' or seeing a calendar date'...:heart4: ...a toy, window, photo, anything really...that reminds us of the beautiful companions that we lost.
The inspiring and motivating part for me, is all the things that you've been doing....AND it's not even Springtime yet. :Daisy:

(As for the coffee table...I think you're supposed to find some sort of "primer paint" to use to cover the wood first...then fine-sand again, apply final coats, then gloss/clear coat or varnish protector,..but since I think painting is so difficult and does not turn out the way I expect...I'll just let you finish this piece and admire it. :) This job would take me 3 months to do...not just a weekend or two...:disa:   I can't wait until you finish it. :happy3: )

Anyhow, Kelly, thanks for the things you write, and for the other members who write too, because for me, like I said, reading things and seeing your photos gets me motivated.
(I had to look up "white west highland terrier". You're wanting a dog that looks smaller than a cat..:think: .umm...Super cute, but I'd go and visit them first...just to be sure that cats would not dominate the little dogs.) :bigwink:
Seriously, though, when you're ready, and because you're already thinking about getting a pair of cats...then somehow I think that your plan to wait, and get more financially secure is a very sensible plan..
but you know how life sometimes is...Our plans get thrown out the window.
So like you said before..."take it day by day".
I like how you're keeping positive and busy.  As always I wish you well. :hugs:  
[/quote
Cats always dominate the dog no matter how big they are. They certainly dominated mine.
 
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angels mommy

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If you want some company before you are comfortable financially, you can foster a cat or two, or a dog.  All the rescues and some shelters use fosters and many turn away animals in need due to a lack of available foster homes.  All rescues and shelters cover medical and some provide food and litter. 
I've thought of that, but I just couldn't do it. I get attached too easily, and am not ready for that.  Thanks though. 
 

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Ahh, yes, @MServant...I think I was looking at photos online of how the puppies looked, and so they looked small and super cute. Wikipedia said weight was anywhere from 15-20 lbs, so I guess they would be slightly bigger than most cats. Standing...they do look taller and rather 'feisty looking'. It said that they have a strong 'prey drive' and were originally bred to hunt rodents. (wow...kind of taking over the 'cat's job' ...I think.)
 


But hey, I have this new theory now, and knew that @Angels mommy had already mentioned that her landlord wouldn't go for the dog-idea, ...(but I did like the idea that 'Angels mommy' could always just drop the dog off at her sister's place, if need be.)
Originally Posted by Angels mommy  
...
 

"My fellow kitty lovers."     As far as the dog, it was just a "maybe one day thought I've had."My landlord wouldn't let me have one here so, It's not something that's going to happen. Plus, cats are cleaner, especially because it would be inside, & I like it clean too much. (I could see it now, I'd have wipes at the door for dirty paws before coming back in the house, etc...
 besides, you have to take a dog out everyday, even if the weather is bad...no thanks!) 
Yeah, after seeing some online photos, some of their coats and paws would get pretty dirty, muddy, etc...so yes, that would cause some extra work, before a dog would be allowed back inside..
 


Cats are definitely much cleaner. (It would be nice, though, if you could manage to train a small dog to use an 'indoor potty place'...just like cats do. I think we'd make a million, if we could 'perfect' this idea...or dream of mine.)

(Okay, @Angels mommy...so my new theory would go like this. The only reason you'd want a 'highland westie'....is because you really like the "Outlander" t.v. show. Yes, they are cute, but really what you want to do is go travel and visit the place where the original breed came from....Scotland Highlands. There...you meet a gorgeous guy...who looks like the guy on the t.v. show....wearing a kilt...and well, the rest is history.  Okay, so maybe this is really my own idea...but I ended up with a Labrador retriever...and Labrador, Newfoundland...is not exactly that far away.  I have to think this through, a little more.)
 
 

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Ahh, yes, @MServant...I think I was looking at photos online of how the puppies looked, and so they looked small and super cute. Wikipedia said weight was anywhere from 15-20 lbs, so I guess they would be slightly bigger than most cats. Standing...they do look taller and rather 'feisty looking'. It said that they have a strong 'prey drive' and were originally bred to hunt rodents. (wow...kind of taking over the 'cat's job' ...I think.) :hmm:   :slant:


But hey, I have this new theory now, and knew that @Angels mommy
had already mentioned that her landlord wouldn't go for the dog-idea, ...(but I did like the idea that 'Angels mommy' could always just drop the dog off at her sister's place, if need be.)

Yeah, after seeing some online photos, some of their coats and paws would get pretty dirty, muddy, etc...so yes, that would cause some extra work, before a dog would be allowed back inside..:nod:   :lol2:
Cats are definitely much cleaner. (It would be nice, though, if you could manage to train a small dog to use an 'indoor potty place'...just like cats do. I think we'd make a million, if we could 'perfect' this idea...or dream of mine.)

(Okay, @Angels mommy
...so my new theory would go like this. The only reason you'd want a 'highland westie'....is because you really like the "Outlander" t.v. show. Yes, they are cute, but really what you want to do is go travel and visit the place where the original breed came from....Scotland Highlands. There...you meet a gorgeous guy...who looks like the guy on the t.v. show....wearing a kilt...and well, the rest is history.  Okay, so maybe this is really my own idea...but I ended up with a Labrador retriever...and Labrador, Newfoundland...is not exactly that far away.  I have to think this through, a little more.) :blush:  
As you said Catnap size doesn't really matter!!!
 
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