My cat is getting put down in a few days, don't know what to do?

So my 16 year old cat is getting put down in a few days, and I've had him since I was 1. (I'm 17)

I'm really sorry this is going to be a bit messy, but I am crying while writing this and I seriously don't know what to do.

Im not really the feely type of guy, and even though I've been sad when my grandparents have passed away, this has hit me harder than anything. My cat has always been there, my entire life, and I guess the thought of him dying someday never really hit me. He got cancer a while ago, and we've tried everything, but there's nothing to do anymore so we have to put him down. 

I love my cat more than anything in this world, and everyone likes him. In the summer, he will often lay out in the street and cuddle with everyone who walks past him. He is the best cat I could have ever wished for, and the best friend I've ever had. I used to be fairly popular and have a couple of friends, but recently, I've been left out a lot more by my old friends, I don't really know why. They would often hang around without inviting me and such, and I find it very hard to get new friends, I dont really open up that much to people. I've recently just accepted the fact that I dont have a lot of friends anymore, and not really anyone to hang out with, so I'd just stay home with my cat and cuddle with him for hours almost every day. Ever since I found out he had cancer, I would cuddle him harder than ever before, and not want to let him go.

We got a kitty a few years back, and my old cat had nothing against it. Problem was, the kitty did. The small one would try to kill my old cat on a regular basis, even though he was like 10 times smaller. I think the kitty wanted to prove himself as an alpha male, and when he found out there was no place for him in that role, he just moved out. The sad thing about this period was that my old cat would be leaving the house for long periods of time, almost feeling like he didn't belong anymore. When the kitty disappeared, he moved back in, and after a while, everything was like it used to.

Every time I got home from vacations, my cat would be the first thing I thought about when I got home. I would run to him and cuddle with him for a long time every time we got home from wherever we had been. He would also be the reason I often wanted to leave when we were away from home. This is one of the things that's going to feel so weird now. When I'm not home, I would always think about my cat and how he was doing. Now, he won't be here anymore. He is the light of my life, and soon he'll be gone for good...

I have been cuddling with my cat for hours these last couple of days, but he is sick, and I see that. Sometimes he will make these sounds as if he's about to puke, even though he doesn't. I think he knows that he is dying as well, which is killing me. I am seriously dying on the inside now, and I really dont know what to do. I dont think I'll ever get over him. I really want to believe that I'll meet him again someday, but I find it hard to believe in the rainbow bridge and all of that even though I want to believe it with all my heart.

I am so sorry this may have been a bit messy, but I've been crying constantly for the last few days. Even though it may be hard to tell while reading this, I cried harder than I've ever done before while writing it.

He will be put down at home, because we don't want his last memories to be at a vet's office, which is one of the places he hates most in this world. And no, I won't be there when it happens. I just can't handle seeing him die, I want to remember him alive. Saying goodbye to him that morning will be the hardest thing I'll ever do in my life.

Oh Sweetie,

My heart is going out to you....((hugs))

That was a very well thought out testimonial to your kitty and an expression of your love for her.

Age or Gender has nothing to do with how we feel about our buddies...

Cats can enter into our lives and hearts, where people cannot. They become an extension of ourselves and our family.

You have known your baby for your entire live. She is your best friend. I get it...She has comforted you, made you laugh, made you cry, made you find love....Those are precious qualities in a person. In addition she has always been there for you..

It will be a some terrible upcoming days; along with the days after.....

We will all be here for you....

As far as saying you do not have many friends.. well, you are still a teenager...Sometimes, and it happens a lot, the friends you had when younger fall away....that is life...Please do not think of yourself as 'friendless"~~ no one is...

You just have to find the type of people who blend with you...have the same interests, are kind, caring~~ that comes along with time...

People can be cruel...but you are better than that..

Perhaps if you found some outside interests to help you make good friends. Things to do and you may find some new people to hang out with.

In the future, perhaps you may think of getting a job, or volunteering at a shelter or a Vet's office. You may find that you really enjoy it; and meet people who have some of the same interests as you....

Take it from me, you do not want to be around anyone who does not feel or think the same way you do. 

I can relate so much to you...

About your kitty: What is her name? 

We already know you love her. 

Please remember this:  as much as it hurts you, this is the best thing you can do for her. Not to allow her to suffer in pain...and it sounds as if she is in some type of pain..not eating is a very bad thing. She would be wasting away~~~ and in pain from not eating, in addition to the pain from the cancer....

You would not want that for her...it will be harder for her than it is for you to go through this.. She will just be going to sleep.  

Her spirit and love with be with you, forever!!!  She will never leave you. 

How could she? She knows you love her, with all your heart. You have proven that time and again.

As hard as it sounds to not be there with her in the end, do you really feel that is the best thing for you?  Just think about it. 

I am glad the Vet is coming to your house. That is so much better..so much more comforting to your baby...

Anytime you need anything.. just to type your feelings, your thoughts, anything, someone is always on here...

this is an amazing group of people...

We will all be here for you....

Please keep in touch...

((Hugs))

I am so, so sorry to hear you will be losing your precious cat soon.  Letting them go is the kindest thing we can do for them, the last act of love in a lifetime of care.  And it is one of the most painful things we ever experience.  Almost everyone here has faced this terrible loss at some point and we understand what you are going through.  A beloved cat is part of your heart and when one passes, a hole is left behind that feels it will never heal.  At the same time, your cat will remain in your heart forever and so in some way, is never lost.  

When I knew my cats were going to be leaving me soon, I did as you are doing.  I hugged them and spent as much time as possible with them.  I wrote long descriptions of our last days together and took lots of pictures.  I looked long and hard at them so as to burn them into my memory.  It helped and when I let them go, reading of those last days helped me feel reconnected with them.  To remember what reality had been like, when reality still included them.  

It's a good thing you're doing, having the vet come to the house.  I did that as well with my old Wesley and was really glad that I did.  I've also always been glad that I was with them up until the last minute.  They simply went to sleep and their suffering was over.  The last thing they saw was my eyes full of love for them. Everyone feels differently about this and there is no right way or wrong way to handle it, just as there is no right or wrong way to grieve.

You must grieve your loss as long and as hard as feels right.  Don't listen to anyone who says your boy was "only a cat."  You know differently.  He was a friend and a loved family member, a special little being who loved you unconditionally.  Some people don't understand this but it is their loss to never feel the connection with a pet as you have felt with your kitty.

When the time comes, consider writing a tribute to him.  Post pictures and tell us his name.  People here will understand.

My heart goes out to you.    

What does the vet think is wrong with him? Is it possible that what he has isn't terminal?  

The best advice a vet gave me was to take my kitty home and spend my last few days with her at home. I spent the next 2 days by her side and giving her too much love I think she thought sometimes. Spend these last days spoiling him and loving on him. This is tough and it's hard but the only thing that matters right now is spending time with him for both of you. My heart goes out to you...we have all been where you are.

I'm so sorry for your upcoming loss.  But you're doing the right thing.

Your cat is lucky to have you.

@mysweetcat...I'm so sorry that you have to lose your cat in a few days.

Cancer seems to be one of the hardest things to face because of how fast it spreads, or where it's located.

 At 16 years old, your cat is like 80 years old in human years, but that still does not make it any easier on you.    http://icatcare.org/advice/how-guides/how-tell-your-cat’s-age-human-years

I'm thinking that it would be good for you to call a pet loss grief hotline, so that you could talk to someone over the phone, who knows about pet loss grief.

http://www.pet-loss.net/hotlines.shtml

Or maybe you have something similar to our 'Kids Help Phone' for teenagers, where teens can talk to someone, about many issues. https://www.kidshelpphone.ca/Teens/PhoneUs.aspx  

You're so young yourself, and I remember that being in highschool, at times was hard, when it came to friendships changing or ending. I remember too, that I had to be the one to phone up people and make plans, or make plans at my part-time job to go out, or else no one would ask to do anything. We didn't really hang out much, but joined clubs, or school groups, and went to some after school games, just to watch the sports.  It gets better as you get older, because you try to focus on what you want to do in life, and work on, but still making friends is hard, because interests are constantly changing, too, and everyone goes in their own directions. But yeah, having animals helps, because they are at home, and greet you everyday, and always make you feel better, no matter what type of day you had.

As a teenager, I don't think I ever thought of any of my animals dying, but it did happen, and really made me cry, too.

In a way, you seem older and wiser, because you recognize and accept that your cat is really sick, and dying. And you don't have to believe in anything like the Rainbow Bridge, or anything else if you don't want to. I don't believe in the Bridge, but I like the thought of it, and even though I believe in heaven, I don't know what it looks like. But even still, whatever you believe or think...just know that your sweet cat was totally loved by you, and he loved you too. So all those years you had with him were what counted, and will always be special to you.

You don't have to get over him, you just have to accept that your cat would want you to be happy because he was around for you, and sounds like he made you happy, so why does it have to stop even after he is gone. Your cat would want only the best for you, like you do for him.

Don't worry about not being there at the last moments when he is let go, because my sister is 43 years old, and could not say goodbye on the last day, either, and like you, wanted to only remember our cat, as he was when alive. I'm 46 years old, and for me, I'm the opposite and needed to be there.

But you're right...saying goodbye was and is one of the hardest things.  

I'm so, so sorry. I had a special bond with our family cat too, we got her when I was 3 and she died when I was 19. I was 19 and had depression already and it was worse than losing my grandmother.

You will hurt, you will be numb, but the sad truth is, it's an agreement we make somehow at the soul level with God that we are blessed with these special souls in a way that is never long enough to us. Remember to your cat, he has lived the equivalent of 80+ years. Good years.

I wish I could say the magic words to take your pain away, but the truth is you will be numb, scared, feeling guilty (we all do), and you will feel like you're losing your best friend, but the pain won't last forever (impossible to see right now I know). The fact you are lonely is not helping and I'm sorry. It's really hard being lonely at any age. I love the idea that you volunteer with a no kill rescue (if you feel up to it).

Please take care of yourself, and know your cat will always love you, and someday will send another animal soul along to keep you company. I've seen a bit of the protectiveness of my first cat in every cat I've had since: friends just don't leave, even in death.

((Hugs))

My heart goes out to you, I know how much it hurts to lose such a big part of your life. Your cat loves you unconditionally, no judging, no criticism, just acceptance and a deep devotion. That is all he ever wanted, and you provided that for him. Unfortunately, he is at the end of his life span, but he has had a wonderful long life with the one he loves the most in this world, you. It would be wrong to let him face a future full of pain and fear  from something that cannot be cured, you are taking his pain on as your own and allowing him to end his pain at home with the one he loves so much nearby. He would never want you to be so sad when you think of him, he wants you to go on with your life and be happy again as you would want for him. That is what I clung to in those first dark days, I knew my little one would never want to be the reason for the agony in my heart and soul.  That heart should one day be full of happiness and sunshine again, for that is his home now, and he deserves more then sadness and perpetual dark. You will never lose the bond that has formed between the two of you, not even death can break something so powerful.

You have a wonderful, loving heart, and with the legacy of love he leaves you, I'm sure one day it will open once again to the love of another little soul who so desperately needs someone like you. It may never be the same, but then it shouldn't be, every one of these special loves should be with their own merit. I know it was a welcome distraction from my tears, and eventually you become healed enough to let another in to your heart, never to replace your love, that could never happen, but to add to that love in your dearly departed one's name, and to pass on that legacy he left in your care.

Try not to dwell on the end, but celebrate what you shared for all those years, he would want that for you because he loves you so much. Let your precious memories of happier times comfort you in the future, and know he will always be nearby in that special place in your heart. I'll pray for you both, please know you are not alone in your grief, we share your agony because we have been through it too, and we know how much it hurts to lose the one who understands us and is the closest to our heart. Take care of yourself........... RIP sweet baby, you have left a mark in this world and will never be forgotten, may your journey to the Rainbow Bridge be swift and there you will wait on the warm laps of angels!

my heart aches for you. you're so young. I honestly don't remember much of my teen years. I wasn't home when they left us. I do remember being upset that I wasn't home to help them pass But I wanted to remember them alive.

Back when I was your age we just didnt talk about grief, pain or sadness. No one wanted to hear it. You would do well in a group for grieving. I wish we had these options 20 years ago. But i hope you spend as much time and try to work through your grief. Don't numb yourself with alcohol or other substances. It will only bite you in the butt later. I didnt have many friends and I just prefered my own company. I didn't have much in common with kids my age. Life was a bit different for me. NOW had I known then what I know now-well I am just letting you know to be easy on yourself and don't come down hard on yourself.

We see you love your cat and all you can do is hold those memories close to your heart. I am so sorry for the sad times that will be coming. But don't stop the grieve. Let it come in waves. Cry. Journal. Go walking. Try to feel the emotions without judging yourself. These feelings will be easier to deal with if we don't fight it.

Sending you Hugs.
 

I'm so sorry that your kitty is sick and you have to say goodbye soon.

Things do seem a lot harder when you're younger, and everyone is right, it will get easier. I haven't had many friends my whole life, just a few casual friends here and there, and now I'm in my 30s and I don't care as much.

I think losing a pet is harder than a relative sometimes because our pets live with us for many years and we take care of them every day.

We are all here for you. If you want to, you can tell us about your kitty or post pictures, it might help a little bit to share. Many hugs to you.

Ah, what a hard, hard thing this is.  Just...love him for the time you have, then hang on tight.  Don't let anyone tell you how long you "should" grieve, you do it the way you need to.  And never worry about letting it go here,   This is about the safest place in the universe to grieve your cat.  We will be right there with and for you.  When the time comes, and you feel able, please do write a tribute for him. 

We are thinking of you, sending you warm thoughts and strength.

I'm so sorry for you, having to face this great loss at your age. Be kind to yourself and cry all you want. Spend these last few days with him and tell him how much you love him. Then come back here and tell us about it. We're ready to listen, and we've all been in your place before. Take care of yourself and your kitty.

Thanks so much everyone, it's been about a month now and it wasn't as bad as I would have thought. I mean, it was obviously extremely sad, but watching him free of pain for the first time in a long while was relieving. I decided to be there with him, and I do not regret it.

It was incredibly sad when it happened, but the pain eased over the next days. I still think about him every day, and I have a hard time letting go of his food bowl and the stuff he used to own, so we still have the bowl where it used to be. I find myself not being able to listen to any sad songs at all, as that reminds me of my cat, and I immediately tear up. Even songs that aren't even that sad, but I just listened to while with him. Some days it's horrible and I miss him a lot, and some days it's easier as I know we did it for his own good, and he doesn't need to feel pain anymore.

Over the last couple of days, I've been thinking about him a lot. Both thinking about the good times and the good memories and knowing he is free of pain, and I am okay with it, but other days I just miss him so badly and go and hug the carpet he used to lay on. The house feels a lot more empty without him. I definitely feel like there's a hole in my heart where he used to be now, but I hope it gets better with time. Thanks for all the positive answers and comments everyone, I did read them all and cry a whole lot when reading them, but it made it easier knowing there were people who knew what I was going through and had positive things to say.

Take care everyone

I am sorry that awful day came.  RIP sweet boy

I'm so sorry for your loss. Glad that you came back to let us know how you are doing. Xoxoxox

I'm so sorry for your loss. Glad that you came back to let us know how you are doing. Xoxoxox sorry it double posted.

I'm very sorry for your loss.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your dear kitty!  I was 12 when I lost my first pet, a parakeet who was about the same age as me, so I understand.  I had never known life without him and it hit hard.  You can post a tribute to your kitty on this same forum, if you want to.  We'd love to hear about him.  Hugs to you.