Five months ago we reluctantly rescued a stray or potential feral, Ralph. Ralph is a 1.5 year old neutered male tabby found on the streets of Washington, DC. We brought Ralph in because he was young and skinny and would likely not have survived the winter.
When we first brought Ralph home in September he was extremely reclusive. For about a month I spent time every morning and evening in our guest bedroom where we put Ralph so that he would become comfortable with my presence. Slowly but surely, he eventually came to trust me and now seeks out my attention at nearly all times of the day when I am home. Due to her work schedule my wife has not been able to spend nearly as much time with him as I have been able to, and as a result Ralph remains cautious of her presence and that of other people. He will remain in the same room that she is in and will even rub against her legs when she is cooking in the kitchen, but if she attempts to lean in to pet him he will scurry a few feet away.
During the first month when Ralph remained hidden under our guest bed, the only way that he would emerge would be if he saw one of my other cats. At this time he was extremely curious and not at all aggressive. Initially, I used this fact to our advantage by bringing our seven year old long-hair male orange tabby, Sonny, up to his bedroom door in an attempt to make Ralph more comfortable. Ralph would approach Sonny with relaxed body language; tail upright and ears forward. He would even pleasantly call to Sonny when he would see him. Sonny is naturally very friendly to other cats and would remain around out of curiosity before scurrying away when he had enough or Ralph got too close. For a time, this worked great and helped with Ralph becoming more comfortable in my presence and in the house.
Eventually, as Ralph became more bold in our home and ventured out of his room, he attempted to interact with my wife and I and our other cats in the other parts of our home, often when we would be in our living room watching TV. At first, this was friendly curiosity and the desire for companionship. This led him to encounter our 6 year old male tuxedo, Luca, and our four year old long-hair tabby, Connie. Despite Ralph's attempts to interact with Luca, Luca wanted nothing to do with Ralph and would hiss and run to another part of the house. Connie, however, was far more aggressive. Upon seeing Ralph Connie would charge him and attack. Despite our best efforts to keep things civil, it is nearly impossible to stop these types of interactions throughout the day. When we would confine Ralph to his bedroom with the door closed, he would cry until we let him out. If we did the same to Connie, the same results would occur. Eventually this led to destructive behavior by both to carpet and furniture so an open door policy took effect. Unfortunately, as Connie became more aggressive, so did Ralph in response. Not only with her, but with Sonny and Luca as well, who in turn have become more aggressive with Ralph.
As time went on things only devolved further. As our bedroom is adjacent to our guest bedroom where Ralph resides, fights would often occur when one of our three cats would encounter Ralph on their way to our bedroom. Connie, who is surprisingly fearless, began to patrol the upper portion of the house to ambush Ralph when he would emerge. This has only resulted in a more stressful situation.
Now, our house is truly divided and the only interaction Ralph seeks is with myself. Despite how much time I spend with him, he has taken to howling throughout the day and night when left alone. When in sight of the other three cats, he will howl or charge at them. This has led to similar responses from the other three, who in turn are becoming more aggressive with each other due to stress.
I feel truly terrible because Ralph is quite a sweet cat. He very much enjoys our interaction together and would make a great lap cat, something he enjoys every time I sit with him. I also believe that Ralph may very well interact fine with other, younger, or less aggressive cats than my own as he certainly seemed inclined to do so back when he first arrived with us. Unfortunately, however, the situation in our home has become too uncomfortable and stressful for all of us, and my only option is to relocate Ralph, something I absolutely hate to do but I know would be best for all involved.
There is the potential for me to relocate Ralph to a farm some friends own. It is large and offers plenty of outdoor space and a barn for the cats. I am considering this as it will both relieve the stressful situation in my home and relieve Ralph's solitude and boredome. However, I am concerned that Ralph may be too far gone from his outside ways now. Does anyone have any thoughts or experience with this?
When we first brought Ralph home in September he was extremely reclusive. For about a month I spent time every morning and evening in our guest bedroom where we put Ralph so that he would become comfortable with my presence. Slowly but surely, he eventually came to trust me and now seeks out my attention at nearly all times of the day when I am home. Due to her work schedule my wife has not been able to spend nearly as much time with him as I have been able to, and as a result Ralph remains cautious of her presence and that of other people. He will remain in the same room that she is in and will even rub against her legs when she is cooking in the kitchen, but if she attempts to lean in to pet him he will scurry a few feet away.
During the first month when Ralph remained hidden under our guest bed, the only way that he would emerge would be if he saw one of my other cats. At this time he was extremely curious and not at all aggressive. Initially, I used this fact to our advantage by bringing our seven year old long-hair male orange tabby, Sonny, up to his bedroom door in an attempt to make Ralph more comfortable. Ralph would approach Sonny with relaxed body language; tail upright and ears forward. He would even pleasantly call to Sonny when he would see him. Sonny is naturally very friendly to other cats and would remain around out of curiosity before scurrying away when he had enough or Ralph got too close. For a time, this worked great and helped with Ralph becoming more comfortable in my presence and in the house.
Eventually, as Ralph became more bold in our home and ventured out of his room, he attempted to interact with my wife and I and our other cats in the other parts of our home, often when we would be in our living room watching TV. At first, this was friendly curiosity and the desire for companionship. This led him to encounter our 6 year old male tuxedo, Luca, and our four year old long-hair tabby, Connie. Despite Ralph's attempts to interact with Luca, Luca wanted nothing to do with Ralph and would hiss and run to another part of the house. Connie, however, was far more aggressive. Upon seeing Ralph Connie would charge him and attack. Despite our best efforts to keep things civil, it is nearly impossible to stop these types of interactions throughout the day. When we would confine Ralph to his bedroom with the door closed, he would cry until we let him out. If we did the same to Connie, the same results would occur. Eventually this led to destructive behavior by both to carpet and furniture so an open door policy took effect. Unfortunately, as Connie became more aggressive, so did Ralph in response. Not only with her, but with Sonny and Luca as well, who in turn have become more aggressive with Ralph.
As time went on things only devolved further. As our bedroom is adjacent to our guest bedroom where Ralph resides, fights would often occur when one of our three cats would encounter Ralph on their way to our bedroom. Connie, who is surprisingly fearless, began to patrol the upper portion of the house to ambush Ralph when he would emerge. This has only resulted in a more stressful situation.
Now, our house is truly divided and the only interaction Ralph seeks is with myself. Despite how much time I spend with him, he has taken to howling throughout the day and night when left alone. When in sight of the other three cats, he will howl or charge at them. This has led to similar responses from the other three, who in turn are becoming more aggressive with each other due to stress.
I feel truly terrible because Ralph is quite a sweet cat. He very much enjoys our interaction together and would make a great lap cat, something he enjoys every time I sit with him. I also believe that Ralph may very well interact fine with other, younger, or less aggressive cats than my own as he certainly seemed inclined to do so back when he first arrived with us. Unfortunately, however, the situation in our home has become too uncomfortable and stressful for all of us, and my only option is to relocate Ralph, something I absolutely hate to do but I know would be best for all involved.
There is the potential for me to relocate Ralph to a farm some friends own. It is large and offers plenty of outdoor space and a barn for the cats. I am considering this as it will both relieve the stressful situation in my home and relieve Ralph's solitude and boredome. However, I am concerned that Ralph may be too far gone from his outside ways now. Does anyone have any thoughts or experience with this?