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I don't know what to do.....he wants to put her down!

post #1 of 20
Thread Starter 
My hubby is at his wits end with Sugarly. He is treatening to put her down (and he means it). He says he is giving her 1 last chance. She has been acting out again (peeing and pooping on beds, etc). We had to buy a new mattress the other day. This is now a weekly occurance. We brought her back to the vet, and he says that there is nothing more he can do...he has ruled out anything physical. It is purely behavioural. Her meds have been increased. The boxes have been increased. She has been in so many time outs we don't think they work anymore (time out is in a room by herself where she has 2 boxes, toys and alot of attention.). Because of her, we can't go out and leave her with someone - it stresses us out. It stresses the other cats out. Nothing we do is working! I am trying to find her a home with no other pets and no children, but that won't necessarily stop her problem, them we will feel responsible for any damage she does to anyone else's stuff. I just don't know what to do. Any ideas?
post #2 of 20
Ady, since you have ruled out physical problems, have you consulted with a behaviorist? Someone who specializes in this kind of thing? I know there are listings on for behaviorists.

This sounds kooky, but after hearing Mary Anne's experiences with Racer, would you perhaps be open to an animal communicator?

I know you guys have been struggling with Sugie's problems for a long time, so perhaps some unorthodox ideas are in order.
post #3 of 20
Do you have a plastic covering for your bed? What would be a temporary solution to at least keep your bed safe. I second valanhb's suggestions, it's time for something else. I'd be more tempted to consult a good homeopath though, sometimes they can work wonders with things like this. Even if you don't really believe in homeopathy, I'd at least give it a shot before giving the cat up or having her put to sleep. Homeopathy has helped my younger dog a lot, his health problems went away, and even his behavioural problems are better. Not gone, but better.

I do know how awful this problem can be, my stress-peer has been great for the last year though, maybe two "accidents" all year! Before that she was on a roll, peeing in the sofa almost daily. Switching litter seemed to help here, even if she'd been fine with her old litter up until then.
post #4 of 20
Decision to go: Sugarly or Hubby???

Hubby! LOL
post #5 of 20
Thread Starter 
Originally posted by Eeva
Do you have a plastic covering for your bed? What would be a temporary solution to at least keep your bed safe.

It is difficult to get a plastic sheet for a queen size bed unfortunately. I have tried a variety of natural/homeopathic technics and nothing is working. I am feeling very depressed.
post #6 of 20
Ack, how frustrating!
It can be a real pain, b/c you love her, but can't live with her. No one wants a bed that smells like a litterbox.

My senior girl Felixia was a behavioral bed soiler for a couple of years. I had just about reached the end of my rope with her when I hit upon a combination of tactics that worked for her (thank goodness!).

For a plastic covering for the bed, you can find a large waterproof tarp at most hardware stores. You can also get heavy black plastic sheeting from the plant nursery. I don't think Felixia was too happy when she peed on the plastic covering & it pooled & got her feet wet.

Have you tried the "cat attract" litter? Or a very fine-textured unscented cat litter, with a variety of boxes (open, covered, high-sided, low-sided) to choose from? That worked well for her. Be sure to avoid using any scented products (cleaners, air fresheners, etc.) around the litterbox areas.

Also, I made sure to take time to give her individual attention, setting aside my frustration with her & giving her lots of play & genuine affection.

All of the above measures, along with using a Feliway plug-in and spraying Feliway spray daily around the areas she frequented, finally did the trick.

One thing you might consider (if you've already tried all of these unsuccessfully) is confining her to a small area of the home for a while, using Feliway and a good litter & box, and then gradually reintroduce her to the rest of the home under supervision, a little bit at a time. Use plastic on the surfaces she likes to soil just in case, until you can trust her loose in the house again.

I hope this helps.

Please consider consulting a behaviorist or communicator, before making any irreversible decisions. I'm sure she can be brought around somehow.
post #7 of 20
What is she on meds for? They could be part of the cause, even thought your vet would say not.
Are you sure you've tried homeopathy? It's different than naturopathy. The latter covers many modalities and homeop. is a separate type of medicine that takes a lot of study for someone to be successful in prescribing it. It's what pulled our cat out of distemper when she was a kitten and she's much healthier than her only suviving sibling. At one poing her liver was failing; her eyes were yellow/green, other parts of her body were off color too. After a couple of doses of one homeop. remedy, she got her normal color back and perked up a lot. Our vet was amazed she pulled through it. A lot of people say homeopathy when it should be naturopathy.
Good luck!
post #8 of 20
before you resort to putting her down , please look into placeing an ad in the local paper for a special needs cat , also contact your local shelter to see if they have any ideas , somone may love to have her and deal with her behaviors.

Im sorry this is happening
post #9 of 20
Ady I have never talked about this on TCS before, but we had the same problem with my cat "Yogi" and we had to get him put him down(September, I think!) last year, because he would soil our beds,carpet,couches,floors, at least three times daily and then he would start doing this on the bench where food is prepared. We loved our Yogi and tried everything.

Sorry you're going through this with Sugie.
post #10 of 20
Ady, I really hope that Sugie doesnt get put down because of her behavioural problem - there must be a reason somewhere why she does that
I don't have any advice but I really hope you find a way to help her.
post #11 of 20
Have you tried Bach's Flower Remedy's? I have never used them myself but have heard that they can be quite effective. here is one of many links I found
post #12 of 20
Ady, this is the first I heard of Sugarly's problem!!! How many years have you had her? It's been quite awhile hasn't it? I can't imagine why she is starting to do this kind of thing out of the blue...she may have some medical problems...I wish I could help you..I pray to GOd your hubby doesn't have her put down for this!!!! Have you talked to Hissy, she is good at knowing what to do about things like this! Please please keep us posted, you and Sugarly are in my thouhgts and prayers!!!!
post #13 of 20
Originally posted by Dana
before you resort to putting her down , please look into placeing an ad in the local paper for a special needs cat , also contact your local shelter to see if they have any ideas , somone may love to have her and deal with her behaviors.

This is a very good idea. Sugarly is a very stressed out kitty. My sister had a cat like that who ended up running away and was never seen again. That cat was stressed because there were too many pets in the house and did not like my brother-in-law.
post #14 of 20
Any luck? I hope you found a solution.
post #15 of 20
Ady, I have a copy of "ASPCA Complete Guide to Cats", written by James R. Richards, DVM. His advice for "Retraining A Lapsed Litter Box User" is the following:
Before attempting to correct your cat's misuse of the litter box, bring her to the veterinarian for a full examination to rule out any medical conditions that may be contributing to the problem.
Once you are confident that your cat is in good health, confine her to a small room; a bathroom with a tile floor is a good choice. Remove any absorbent rugs and place a cat bed and some toys in the room as well as food and water dishes and, of course, a litter box. (It's a good idea to offer the cat a variety of boxes and litter types to choose from, if you have the room.) Put as much space as possible between the dishes and bedding and the litter boxes. Visit the cat three or four times a day, taking twenty minutes or so each time for chatting, playing or grooming. Keep track of when she uses the litter box. If she urinates on the bed, remove it.
After your cat has been using the box faithfully for two weeks, allow her access to the rest of the house one room at a time, preferably right after she's used the box. Keep a close watch to be sure she doesn't lapse into old bad habits, and don't let her roam when you are out of the house. When you observe her using the litter box reliably, you can allow her more time alone. If she doesn't soil out of the box at night, she need not be confined to her room overnight; if she does, confine her at night for two to four weeks, and then give her another try in the house at large."
post #16 of 20
jcat, that sounds like really solid advice to me. Ady, I hope hubby is agreeable to trying this type of retraining - if none of the other suggestions are available (is there a communicator near you, for instance!) or if you've already tried them and they haven't worked.

This has got to be incredibly heart-breaking. I cannot imagine what we would do if faced with such a decision. Sugarly is going into my prayers, and I sure hope one of these suggestions will be just the thing for ALL of you!

post #17 of 20
Thread Starter 
Thanks veryone! We have been confining her to 1 room and retraining her with different box selections, Bach Rescue Remedy and her pills for her anxiety disorder. She has had these problems since Sept 2002 - when I joined this site. Since then she goes thru cycles of behavioural problems. We did bring her back to the vet for a check up because she was more bably behaved then normal. Right now we have alot of our rooms closed up to prevent her messing in them. She now has been let out of confinement and for the past 2 days she has been behaved. The other kitties are not happy with the closed up rooms. Thanks for all of the advice. I think John has calmed done a little. I will not let him put her done.
post #18 of 20
Ady- I just now saw this- I don't know how I missed it. I am glad that the suggestions have worked. It may be necessary to retrain her from time to time by putting her in a small room with food and litter pan just to keep it fresh in her head. More than likely mom never got a chance to teach her litter pan manners. One other thing you can do is buy some loose catnip and give this cat a catnip sock that you have made just a few times a week. Let her have about 15 minutes of exposure to it twice a week, then take the toy away. Catnip in loose form does great things for anxiety ridden cats. But you don't want to give her constant exposure to catnip toys, or to your homemade sock. This would be therapy, anymore exposure would be over exposure and the cat will become immune to the therapeutic uses of catnip in her brain. And don't buy the premade toys, but the loose leaves and make the sock up yourself.
post #19 of 20
Ady, I don't know how Sugarly is doing now, but I just saw an ad in "Cat Fancy" that made me think of her. It would really be a last resort, though.
"CAT DIAPER. Incontinence, bad habits, spraying, whatever. Piddle Pants are the answer. SASE for brochure. PAWS AND CLAWS, P.O. Box 7332, Suffolk, VA 23437. Website
post #20 of 20
I'm so glad you are not going to put her down! It sounds like she is doing better! Keep us posted! If you need to talk, I am here!
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