I Love/Hate My Cat

This is Nikolai, He's a syberian, 1.5 years old neutered male.
I got this cat because supposedly syberians are lap cats, but apparently no one informed him of this, the only time he shows any inkling of affection is when he wants to be fed.
Eventho I purchased a really nice cat tree for him, he thought it best to destroy my leather chair instead, and pee
on my bed.
I clean his litterbox every day, sometimes twice a day, so I don't know what that was about.
He follows me everywhere, and for such a big cat he's fairly quiet in his movements, so much so that he startles me every now & then, and caused me to fall and break a toe[emoji]128552[/emoji]
I brush him every other day, yet my apartment looks like a giant hairball sometimes, I get dressed/undressed in the bathroom, the only place he's not allowed in, & no matter how much I try, I still seem to walk out the door with his lovely hair clinging to me.
There are times I really regret getting him, but I know I would miss him if I re-homed him, so I grin & bear it.

He is a big, beautiful cat, very stunning. Sounds to me as if he is bored. Do you give him vigorous playtime at least once, preferably more times a day, say with the Da bird wand, etc? If you keep him busier where you are giving him your complete attention while engaged in vigorous play, that should help out a lot. Katy is my first indoor cat, and I can relate to the "sneaking up on me" feeling. Katy has a tiny bell on her collar. That helps a lot in knowing where he is in the house when he is moving. It's just a little "tinkle bell" sound, enough to let you know he is coming, yet not loud enough to be annoying. These bells come with the collar. More one on one time together, the bell on the collar should help.

I do make time for him, he loves to play fetch with a rubber ball, and I have several of those feathered wand toys he goes bonkers for, I don't know what else I can do to keep him occupied.
Will get him a collar with a bell as you suggested, thanks.

Welcome  

Nikolai is gorgeous....have you given any thought to getting him a buddy to play with?

he will exercise run off energy entertain himself all day long with a friend. 

When they have a buddy they are 'less clingy' to their human they're happier it's double the fun for you with two.  Two cats are very clean as well.

*must have for all cat owners  https://www.google.ca/search?q=tape...ved=0ahUKEwivkur0h_jKAhVDxmMKHWewCAkQ_AUIBygC

My black coat turns white after they lay on it!    Purfect for furniture...

I am so sorry he isn't the lap cat you were hoping for.  I hear this a lot as a reason of surrender.  "Well, we were told (blank) was a good, lap cat, cuddling breed of cat and he/she is not.  Maybe they don't like us?  So we are surrendering them so they can find someone they like."  Cat breed temperament descriptions are not as accurate as they are for dogs.  Cats are very individualistic.  I wish they wouldn't put stuff like that on cat breed descriptions.  It gives false expectations.  The thing is, a lot of cats are not lap cats until older.  He is still young.  Don't give up hope.  My Piper wasn't cuddly at all and then suddenly, out of the blue, she was about 4 yrs old and she became a big time snuggler.  He may mellow as he gets older.  Vigorous play can be very bonding.  Have you ever tried walking with him?  That's bonding, too.  He obviously loves you since he wants to follow you and pee on your bed.  Did he only do it the one time?  Or is it ongoing?  If ongoing, a vet visit may be warranted.  Cats do this as a way to communicate that something is wrong, usually physically.  Also, it could be the litter box wasn't clean enough to his liking. I know mine like to have more than one.  But, that could be a suggestion.  Another reason is that they pee on your things to mark it.  To mix their scent with yours.  It's a way of saying "We're buds.  They're mine.  Not yours. I own them."  The same with destroying your chair.  To keep him from doing this and to gain interest in things for him, it is helpful to get a cat tree or scratchers that have similar material to the things he likes to scratch.  If he likes carpet scratching, find carpet scratchers and so on. 

Another cat could be a good suggestion.  I would suggest a kitten.  Usually they are easier to introduce.  He will see a kitten as less threatening.  But, make sure you assess the kitten's personality first.  If your cat is a dominate (usually neutered males are more laid back about this and aren't) but if he has a dominate personality, he will terrorize a kitten or intruder.  The same could be said for the kitten.  Make sure you get one that compliments his temperament.  Who knows?  The other kitty may be the lap cat you were hoping for... And jealousy could drive your cat to being more affectionate. And most important, only do this if you can and want to.  If not, do not. 

I really don't have the space for another cat, I joke to my friends how I need another room just for Nikolai, he's going to be a Big one, as I've read this breed doesn't reach maturity until 5 years...
The peeing on the bed happened twice, don't know what triggered the first incident, but my friend says it was my fault for switching kitty litter on him the second time. Does that sound possible?
I had a cat many years ago, and he didn't seem to mind what litter I used.

Yes, switching the litter could have been a trigger. Cats are very picky about change.

Siberians tend to be very independent cats, so I'm not sure where you heard about them being lap cats. Even so, each cat has their own personality, so a breed description won't apply to all. Try to see it from your cat's perspective - he is telling you that he loves you all the time by being affectionate and following you around. Chances are if you care less about him being in your lap he will want to be closer to you.

What are you using to brush him?

straycat212 said:

There are times I really regret getting him, but I know I would miss him if I re-homed him, so I grin & bear it.

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Nikolai is beautiful!  In this pic, he looks like he's smiling.     How long have you had him?  Since he was a kitten or recently?  Where did you get him?

He is a beautiful cat . sometimes cats act like this because they are bored. you should try playing with him with feathers or something that interest him. and try to find a a scratch post or something he would rather scratch then your couch. dont give up he need just some attention.

Living with cats is quite an adjustment.  It does take some time.  They have to adjust to us and indoor living as well.  Basically when we adopt a cat, we have undertaken to domesticate a wild animal.  They may not have to hunt for food, unless locating you is considered indoor hunting, but they still retain many of their wild instincts. I also got my kitties two very nice, and expensive, eastern red cedar scratching posts. They cut a wide swath around them and preferred the carpet and sofas instead.   And I even rubbed it down with catnip!  They still wouldn't go near it.  

I've had Nic since he was 4 months old,from a breeder in Brooklyn. I use some cat glove with rubber nubs on one side to brush him, forgot the name.
Tried the Furminator, but it seems to shave hair off imo, so I only use that if he has a tangle or something stuck on his fur.
He does have a cat tree which he used for about 3 weeks, then lost interest in it.
As much as I complain, I can't imagine being with out him tho.

Yeah, you need to use a furminator on a cat like a Siberian to make any difference.  You are not currently combing out the undercoat, which is what sheds.  The furminator doesn't shave him but it does comb out a lot of the hair that he would shed around your house.

maybe I'm doing it wrong, he's not fond of the Furminator, where as the glove, he stays still & purrs

It's a much more aggressive brushing for sure.  The issue is that you're not really helping with the shedding, which seems to bother you.

Sounds like he is not a "tree dweller but a bush dweller".   Jackson Galaxy uses that phrase. " Some cats are tree dwellers and some are bush dwellers".   That would explain why he is not interested in the cat tree.  I must be say, I have no idea what furniture  a "bush dweller cat's cup of tea would be, but I know some of our members would know.  I understand you just want to know, what's it going to take?" 

Please do  try the bell on his collar, let's see what our knowledegable  members have on  ideas for  "bush dweller cat furniture" is.  I will add my Katy thoroughly enjoys a "cat house"  that is made out of wood,  really cute, I found at a flea market.  I know your boy is probably too large in size for a house such as that, I am sure Amazon will have some, say doll houses that may just make the mark.  My last remark, and this is the most important thing I have to say.  PLEASE remember, our pets take on our stresses we are feeling.  If we feel  stressed, they will feel stressed.   Your beautiful boy, and he IS GORGEOUS.  Please take all our members very helpful advice, and my 2 cents which is,  the bell on the collar and RELAX.

I know exactly what this is like. We got a cat that we were hoping would be a lap cat first. He is not. But he was clingy. He would follow me everywhere. No amount of playing helped. We ended up getting him a companion. She is a lap cat so she helped to complete what we wanted from a cat as well. He loves his new sister. They play and snuggle and it makes him far less clingy to us. He has even  become a more cuddly cat. 

You have to detangle him first by using a regular brush. And then use a furminator. If you pick out a 2nd young cat based on personality you can get your cuddle needs met and appreciate Nikolai too. And also he does follow you because he really likes you even if he isnt cuddly.

Thanks for the tips, and insights regarding my furry friend