My siblings don't like my boyfriend

Hi, I am in a bit of a predicament. I met a guy about 4 months ago and we started dating. He treats me well, he is very smart, and we have a lot in common. The only problem is that my sister and brother do not approve of him. They are very involved in my personal life and that is something I am not comfortable with. I believe they do not approve of him because of his appearance. The fact that he says he is successful in life (keep in mind my family is shallow and likes money) but he doesn't seem to dress the part tells them that he is no good and there is something shady about him.

I don't care whether or not he is rich, I believe he is a good man. However, he doesn't want me to go this place yet because he has a child and he says he isn't ready to bring me around his child, not until he is sure me and him are going to stay together. He also gives me the reason that his senior father lives with him and he is a very religious man who wouldn't approve of him bringing a very new girlfriend to his pace. My sister keeps saying these are not valuable reasons because his son is not home all the time. Even though he has shown countless times that he is a good person, they still don't want to hear it. My brother thinks his story is bizarre because He says he has a car but he takes uber/walks most of the time, the only time I saw him drive was a crappy car he bought at an auction "to fix". Me and him broke up twice in one week. The 1st time was because I kept insisting on going to his place or he wouldn't be allowed to come to mine anymore (this was my sister whispering these things) but then we got back together. The 2nd time was because he saw that my sister didn't like him and when he was at my place she kept on calling me and screaming at me, telling me to make him leave. I told her I am a grown up and I make my own decisions. He heard it all apparently and the next day he told me he didn't want to come between my and my family and he thought it best for us to go our separate ways. What do I do? I really like this guy and I have been miserable since we broke up. Now we started talking again and I don't know what direction to take.

I'm sorry I think he is lying about something.  How do you know he is successful?  He may be married still and cheating on his wife.

Handsome Kitty said:

 
I'm sorry I think he is lying about something.  How do you know he is successful?  He may be married still and cheating on his wife.

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 I was thinking the same thing. I can understand not bringing the child in to the mix right away but something seems fishy about this guy.

I agree with @Handsome Kitty  . I think that there's something shady going on. You say he's successful. Did he mention where he works? If he did, I'd call there and ask to speak to him. If they put you through, you know he works there.

How long have the 2 of you been seeing each other? I don't think that even a very religious parent wouldn't have an issue with simply meeting someone. My DD's BF's parents are very conservative Catholics yet she has met them many times and did for the first time fairly early in. I can understand being leery of introducing a new relationship to a child early in but that doesn't mean you can't go over there while the child is with his/her mother. My instincts are telling me that he's married. I'm sorry. 

Your siblings are skeptical about him because they care about you. It's easier to see the reality of a situation when you are on the outside looking in. 

Does your BF have a FB page? If so, see who his friends are. See who posts on his wall. 

I think he broke it off with you because it was no longer easy for him. Someone is holding him accountable and he doesn't like it This is not a judgement of you at all. You sound like you are around my DD's age so this is what I would tell her if it was her. I'd tell her (and you) to move on. It's not a failure on your part at all if you learned something that will help you in a future relationship. 

Hello and welcome to The Cat Site!

I think you have gotten some very good advice so far.

Why don't you start a thread in our "New Cats on the Block" forum to tell us a little more about yourself and your cat?

http://www.thecatsite.com/f/20/new-cats-on-the-block

I too feel like there is something he is hiding.  Does he always seem to just want to come over and hang out at your place?  Do you go out together and do things in public?  If he only wants to hang out at your place and does not do anything with you in public then I think you might be dealing with someone who is married.   

I can understand someone wanting to protect their child but no child is home 24 hours a day 7 days a week.  As for his father having religious objections that to me would apply more toward you spending the night together under the same roof not just hanging out.  If he is so worried about what his dad thinks then he could try introducing you as a friend first.

It also seems to me that he wants a little too much control over this relationship too quickly.

If you are on Facebook then I would look around and see if this guy has any sort of online presence. Also try to get more specific information about his work.  The lack of details about his life are a little odd.  You can find a lot of free information online about people.

What is it about his appearance that is alarming your siblings?

I agree that it is a lot easier for someone on the outside looking in to see issues with a relationship that you may not see yourself.  This is not something that is your fault it is just a fact of life.  There were times before I got married that I dated people that my friends did not approve of for various reasons.  At the time I was mad at them but I would have saved myself a lot of pain if I had actually listened to them.  I could only see it later when the relationships ended.  

One of my close friends dated a man that was married but separated and there were a ton of issues she could not see that others could.  I have been friends with her for a very long time.  I finally told her what I thought of the situation because she kept asking and I was brutally honest.  Eventually she broke up with him and made it clear that she would not date him until he was officially divorced.  They are now happily married and he is a great guy.  There were things he was doing when they were first dating that were just wrong.  If this is meant to be things will eventually work themselves out in their own way and time.