new and old cat... help please!!!

Hey guys new here name is Jay. A quick run down of my situation.  My male cat spike is pushing 14 yrs, he was brought into the house as a kitten and was introduced to our female cat who is now 2 years deceased  :'(  the introduction took 2 months and was not easy but over time worked out great.  

       FFW to October my wife happened to look out back and called me to the door, there was what looked like a kitten chasing a chipmunk through the shrubs.. I called to it and it started to run away but quickly changed its mind and came to the door. She was very skittish but I offered her a plate of food since she looked starved. 15 minuets later shes sitting at the back door with one eye sealed shut her paw looked like it was hurting her and she was covered in ticks and fleas. That night it was supposed to rain so i made her a box and decided to take her to the vet if she didnt leave...   after I cleaned all the ticks and got rid of the fleas I took her to the vet to check for a chip, I posted signs around the neighborhood and online and no one responded. Since she wouldn't leave the yard, followed me everywhere I went and we had a hurricane foretasted we decided we needed to take her in. So we got her shots, ear cream for her ringworm, eye drops, paw looked at and finally we got her spay and tested for the baddies. This whole time she was separated from our cat Spike in a separate room while we waited for test result .        

     FFW to NOV.. She was very small when we brought her in ribs showing and all but not a kitten she is roughly 1 1/2 to 2 the vet says just starving.  Spike is over 18 lbs and not fat he is large and doesn't know it hes scared of everything  Now we followed all the scent association slow introduction ect and spike was not feeling it at all. At one point while we were out I came home to see she was able to move the gate we had separating them (no idea how) and we found her on top of our bed sitting on spike under the covers hissing. She was trying to play and spike was running for his life. We separated them again for a few days then started trying to work at it. Any time he heard her door open he would run and hide. Little by little we would be able to get him to peak in while she was i a carry crate but if on a leash he was gone.

 FFW to current almost 5 months... we can have her in the carry crate (which she loves to be in) and spike will sit with us on the couch. They will eat treats a few feet from each other as long as shes in the cage but eventually one of them hisses and spike runs away.  If we have her on the leash (sitting on the couch) he will walk in the room and get a little skittish but she goes into play mode right away getting low like she wants to pounce and he slowly leaves the room.  I am afraid to just let them hash it out and ruin all the progress we have made. Spike runs and hides under the couch or in a corner where he cant escape when hes scared and she might get him pinned.  If he decided to actually fight back he might hurt her bad.  

  Soooo  If, when and how should I let her free to roam or are there any further steps I can take to ease this transition. I have read everywhere "do not let them just fight it out" which as a kid thats what my family did just threw them in and they figured it out...   They will probably never be friends but I cant let her go now I am too attached...    Im just hoping for a non hostile home...     Thank you so much in advance and sorry for the long winded question Ive done a lot of reading the past few months and finally i just need some advice.

I'm going through the same thing.  Look for my post that CatPack responded to.  I have an 11 year old neutered male, and a recently neutered 2 year old male I'm trying to integrate.  My older one is territorial though, he is the one standing his ground.  The younger one runs from him, but he just chases and attacks, just relentlessly.  They too will eat together--I mean no bars, nothing between them.  As soon as my older one finishes, the struggle begins.  Hopefully we can find some help here.  In the thread I posted CatPack responded with a good link about introducing cats, check that out!

It doesn't sound like your new girl is actually aggressive - she just wants to play, correct?   She does need to learn to leave Spike alone, however.  What is her name, btw?

The first thing I would do at this point is to look into the various ways to reduce the stress between the two kitties.  The following might give you some ideas and some basic info on stress in cats.
[article="30316"]Six Surefire Strategies To Reduce Stress In Cats  [/article][article="30307"]Is Your Cat Stressed Out  [/article]
One of the best ways to deal with stress is with a calming agent.  There are several products on the market. Below are just a few ideas for you.  Although none of these products work for all cats, all of them have been recommended by our members.

1. Feliway is available as a spray or as a diffuser.  It is based on a facial pheromone that cats emit when they are feeling content and happy.  Many of our members have had very good results with it, although it is important to realize that if you use the diffusers, they only cover 700 to 900 square feet.  Feliway's website is:  http://www.feliway.com/us/#redirected  It does tend to be rather expensive - several members have found amazon to be the cheapest source.

2. Composure is a calming supplement available as a treat or liquid that can be mixed into the food.  http://www.vetriscience.com/index.php?l=product_detail&p=9008103030  

3.  Calming collars contain calming pheromones.  Their effectiveness is based on the premise that a constant level of pheromone is available close to the cat's nose.  There are some concerns with these collars:  they often are coated with a powder that gets on everything, they may have a strong odor and some users have complained they are not effectively break-away.  Here's a link to the amazon page that lists some of the many available.  http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_n...=calming+collars+for+cats&tag=&tag=thecatsite

4.  Bach's Floral Remedies (in particular Rescue Remedy) have helped many of our members.  http://www.bachcentre.com/centre/bfrani.htm

5.  Spirit Essences are also recommended by our members:  http://www.spiritessences.com/category-s/1876.htm

Another option, as a last resort is to ask your vet about medication. This would be for Spike to get him over his anxiety, but again, it is really a last resort.  You really don't want to medicate him, if you can avoid it.   Medications include anti-depressants such as Prozac or anti-anxiety medications like valium, xanax or ativan.  The following article discusses the anti-anxiety medications. 
[article="30323"]Anti Anxiety Medication For Cats  [/article]
It is often useful to use these products in conjunction with behavior modification techniques.  Your new cat needs to know Spike is out of bounds.  Loud sounds often work to stop negative behavior in its tracks - try shaking a can full of coins or dried beans, or spraying a burst of canned air.  Don't use a spray bottle of water - this only reduces your cat's trust in you.  The following article on behavior modification might give you some other ideas:
[article="32493"]The Dos And Donts Of Cat Behavior Modification  [/article]
Another option you might consider is contacting an animal behaviorist.  They will come to the house, evaluate the situation and custom design a plan for you.  For a referral see:  https://iaabc.org/   

And finally, although you have gone through the cat introduction process, you might want to check out this articles for some more ideas.  
[article="32680"]How To Successfully Introduce Cats The Ultimate Guide  [/article]

Thanks for the reply.. We named her colbey but I call her booger mostly, from the eye buger that she had for the first month. She's all love and play but spike don't know it. I will try anything at this point and appreciate the ideas. Do you think I should give it a go and see if she can be set free to roam or do you think a bad ecounter might set me back.. at least now he will stay out while she's upstairs he used to hide under the couch.

I would probably wait until you had some calming products on hand for poor old Spike.  He sure doesn't live up to that big fierce name does he?  He sounds very sweet, btw.

Colbey is a delightful name.  Ah, these nicknames.  They do tend to stick!  

Yeah this is true, he is all talk...mostly lol...   thanks for the advice... Ive always been very good dealing with my pets.. but because spike is old and anxious Im just worried and dont want to mess up his home any worse than I already did. When Kitty (female buddy) passed away he really went into a funk and I told the wife we cant have any more until spike leaves us.  I tried to find colbey's owners then I tried to find a home for her knowing this would be a transition. It didnt work out and I know the shelters are loaded with cats, I couldnt bare the thought thinking she would be shuffled around or worse.. but I didn't think it would be this impacting on spike. If I can figure it out ill post a pic Ill show you a before and after Im sure you would agree the poor girl deserved better. Even now with her restricted house access I see the change in her and know she had seen some hard times.  I just cant let my buddy spike down. Worse case the current arrangement is working... its extra work carting her up and down but when shes in the carrier they are both content staring at each other..lol   Again thanks for the input I will try all I can! 

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jdanke said:

 
Yeah this is true, he is all talk...mostly lol...   thanks for the advice... Ive always been very good dealing with my pets.. but because spike is old and anxious Im just worried and dont want to mess up his home any worse than I already did. When Kitty (female buddy) passed away he really went into a funk and I told the wife we cant have any more until spike leaves us.  I tried to find colbey's owners then I tried to find a home for her knowing this would be a transition. It didnt work out and I know the shelters are loaded with cats, I couldnt bare the thought thinking she would be shuffled around or worse.. but I didn't think it would be this impacting on spike. If I can figure it out ill post a pic Ill show you a before and after Im sure you would agree the poor girl deserved better. Even now with her restricted house access I see the change in her and know she had seen some hard times.  I just cant let my buddy spike down. Worse case the current arrangement is working... its extra work carting her up and down but when shes in the carrier they are both content staring at each other..lol   Again thanks for the input I will try all I can! 

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It was very kind of you to take Colbey in and not take her to the shelter.  Poor old Spike.  He just doesn't realize he could be hanging around with a sweet young thing and getting a new lease on life!