I am so down right now...need to vent and ask a question

nsav8 · Feb 6, 2016

I have never owned a cat before. I found two black male ferals, took them in, and put them up for adoption. The one feral has come around and is very social and friendly. The other feral is sweet, but has taken a long time to get adjusted...and he is still extremely shy. I am heartbroken because a perfect potential adopter called me, told me they were going to set up a meet and greet, and never called back to set up a definite time. I see on FB that they went and adopted other cats. I know they probably think my bond with the cats was strong and maybe that scared them away, b/c she did say something to that effect. I did ask a lot of questions because I wanted to make sure they were the right home and were prepared to take in a former feral who is still very shy. I was hesitant because she had a husband and an 8-year-old daughter. These cats are used to living with just me. So, they never called and I still have them and they possibly missed out on a wonderful home. I am embarrassed to say I literally cried when I read their FB post about adopted other cats.

I am going to have to go out of town soon. I will hire someone to feed and clean the litterboxes once a day (which is all I can afford at $15 a visit). But a lot of cat people told me the cats may urinate or poop in inappropriate places when I am gone. I had no idea cats did this. I don't know what to do, b/c I have to go out of town. I thought about boarding them, but someone told me that is even more stressful for the cats I don't know what to do. I am so depressed about this. I am getting ready to take a new job, have to get out of town for a week, and have had potential adopters bail on me. It is getting to be too much for me.

kittens mom · Feb 6, 2016

Don't feel discouraged. If they adopted another cat it was the right cat for them. I was talking to a rescue when Mercy came up for adoption. I had her within hours. I emailed the rescue and explained and I got the feeling they felt a lot like you do. The kitten I was looking at was adopted soon after. I felt really bad.

We have left our cats for 5 days with a sitter coming in to count body parts and feed. I don't ask them to scoop unless needed. I have extra litter boxes out . None of them have ever messed because we were gone.

StefanZ · Feb 7, 2016

You did everything absolutely right. If the adopters backed off because, they werent optimal for the cats here. And its of course their holy right to pick cats whom feel best for them. Your proteges bonding to you is in part true: next adopter must coundt on redoing som e of the fostering herself. so its part of the necessity to question of them thouroughly. But your thoroughness is ALSO a big part of the adopters protection. If they felt it was too complicated for them, so it probably was.

The catsitter, whom comes and changes food and litter, should be fine. They will probably hide during the visits, but it will be anywys an extra experince for them: some other human comes and helps them. Have perhaps something with smell of the catsitter when you are still at home.

The danger of them peeing "in protest" is rather small. Be sure they have a couple of extra litters. Im sure the catsitter will be OK with it. Just be sure there is no litter in their safety foom, so the catsitter doesnt need invade their safety zone. Or have a litter in there, but the catsitter wont change it...

I think.

Again, you are doing everything correctly as in the manual. The problem is, the solution dosent always comes at once in the first suitable occasion. Its alike with boyfriends /girlfriends. Often its necessary with several tries.

Good luck!

linandnin · Feb 7, 2016

nsav8 said:
I have never owned a cat before. I found two black male ferals, took them in, and put them up for adoption. The one feral has come around and is very social and friendly. The other feral is sweet, but has taken a long time to get adjusted...and he is still extremely shy. I am heartbroken because a perfect potential adopter called me, told me they were going to set up a meet and greet, and never called back to set up a definite time. I see on FB that they went and adopted other cats. I know they probably think my bond with the cats was strong and maybe that scared them away, b/c she did say something to that effect. I did ask a lot of questions because I wanted to make sure they were the right home and were prepared to take in a former feral who is still very shy. I was hesitant because she had a husband and an 8-year-old daughter. These cats are used to living with just me. So, they never called and I still have them and they possibly missed out on a wonderful home. I am embarrassed to say I literally cried when I read their FB post about adopted other cats.

I am going to have to go out of town soon. I will hire someone to feed and clean the litterboxes once a day (which is all I can afford at $15 a visit). But a lot of cat people told me the cats may urinate or poop in inappropriate places when I am gone. I had no idea cats did this. I don't know what to do, b/c I have to go out of town. I thought about boarding them, but someone told me that is even more stressful for the cats I don't know what to do. I am so depressed about this. I am getting ready to take a new job, have to get out of town for a week, and have had potential adopters bail on me. It is getting to be too much for me.

linandnin · Feb 7, 2016

Good morning from Southern California.. I'm new here on this site, and I'm caring a few ferals myself.. I'm a bit sensitive to Black cats, as the one pictured here is my 14 year old rescue "Nin"

zed xyzed · Feb 7, 2016

Thank you for saving the 2 kitties.

I am so down right now...need to vent and ask a question

nsav8

TCS Member

Thread starter

kittens mom

Kittens life was lost to a negligent veterinarian.

StefanZ

Advisor

linandnin

TCS Member

linandnin

TCS Member

zed xyzed

TCS Member

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