My Sweet Angel Baby Crossed the Rainbow Bridge 2/5/16

angels mommy · Apr 4, 2016

Gareth said:
If you have some of his hair then there are companies that can put the hair into clear solid gel and turn it into a necklace. My baby girl Eva, my soul cat, will never be far from my heart. I'm so very sorry for your loss. You clearly gave your angel your whole heart,

That's neat, I have never seen, or heard about that before. I have it in an envelope, where I can still touch it, as well as the hair the Pet Passages put in a small baggie w/ his name on it. (but that doesn't smell the same).

I have looked at a lot of the necklaces on amazon, that you can put some ashes in, but didn't get one. Not sure if I will.

angels mommy · Apr 4, 2016

I had a bad night last night. I'm not sure why it hit me so hard again, but it did. I cried for 45 minutes!

I finally got a massage on Saturday from my friend, who I usually trade with. I paid him this time though,so that was nice. He has cats too, & lost one last year, so he understands. Before he left, I shared Angel's scrapbook with him, & after reading my last daily log for Angel, & the poem, he was in tears.

(& this is a big guy, you wouldn't expect to cry, so I was a little surprised). Anyway, I hadn't had a massage in a very long time, & considering the last 4 months

I've had, I really needed it! So maybe the massage helped release a lot of that stuff, but seems like if that was it, then it would have happened earlier, like that night. ??? I don't know. I was also looking at kitties on Pinterest, getting a little kitty fix when It happened, so maybe it just all came flooding through, & that was just a small trigger. Although I have looked at them many times since, over the last two months, so who knows! Tomorrow will also be two months.

I guess it's just all part of it. I have shed tears for a minute here & there, missing him, but I haven't cried like that in a while. I was just sobbing.

Since I didn't get asleep until late, I slept in this morning. I also went for a walk this afternoon because it was so nice out today. It was 73 here.

I feel better, but still in a little bit of a quiet mood. I think I am really feeling it, because I live alone, & as long as Angel was here, I was never lonely.

As I've said before, all of my closest girlfriends have all moved away, over the course of the last 10 years. It's hard to meet new people when you're in your mid 40's, & everyone is either coupled up, married, or has kids, & are busy with their own lives.

Loving Mickey · Apr 4, 2016

angels mommy Oh, Kelly I am truly sorry that you are having such a rough time right now. Yes, you will be fine for awhile and suddenly it hits you. You realize that your baby is gone and the tears start and you feel like they may never stop. Anything can bring the tears on, anniversaries, holidays, special days, or having a lonely day. My Mickey will be gone 2 years in July, and I still cry over his loss. My mom will be gone 5 years in May, and I also still cry over her loss. They were both a major part of my life, just as Angel was a major part of your life. The pain over their losses will always be a part of us. I don't believe in that saying, "time heals all wounds". It hasn't for me.
I also get being lonely. Believe me, I do. Friends that I did have sort of just faded away, shortly after my mom passed. I guess my life was too depressing for them. Who Knows?? Mind you, these friends all still had their moms. Then, I lost Mickey and not many understand that loss. Mickey got me through my mom's passing.
I do have a caring, wonderful husband and one son. They both loved my mom and Mickey and mourned their loss along with me.
I try to be grateful for the two of them, as I know I am lucky to have them in my life. I don't have many others though. Like you said, people are busy and have their own lives. There are also many who just don't get it, they can't understand our loss.
I hope you have more happy days than sad. It is not too long that your Angel's been gone. Some days will be easier than others.
Take Care!
I care and I DO UNDERSTAND your loss.
It is a painful loss to bear, but you are not alone.
We are all here for you!

zed xyzed · Apr 4, 2016

Angels mommy said:
I had a bad night last night. I'm not sure why it hit me so hard again, but it did. I cried for 45 minutes!

I finally got a massage on Saturday from my friend, who I usually trade with. I paid him this time though,so that was nice. He has cats too, & lost one last year, so he understands. Before he left, I shared Angel's scrapbook with him, & after reading my last daily log for Angel, & the poem, he was in tears.

(& this is a big guy, you wouldn't expect to cry, so I was a little surprised). Anyway, I hadn't had a massage in a very long time, & considering the last 4 months

I've had, I really needed it! So maybe the massage helped release a lot of that stuff, but seems like if that was it, then it would have happened earlier, like that night. ??? I don't know. I was also looking at kitties on Pinterest, getting a little kitty fix when It happened, so maybe it just all came flooding through, & that was just a small trigger. Although I have looked at them many times since, over the last two months, so who knows! Tomorrow will also be two months.

I guess it's just all part of it. I have shed tears for a minute here & there, missing him, but I haven't cried like that in a while. I was just sobbing.

Since I didn't get asleep until late, I slept in this morning. I also went for a walk this afternoon because it was so nice out today. It was 73 here.

I feel better, but still in a little bit of a quiet mood. I think I am really feeling it, because I live alone, & as long as Angel was here, I was never lonely.

As I've said before, all of my closest girlfriends have all moved away, over the course of the last 10 years. It's hard to meet new people when you're in your mid 40's, & everyone is either coupled up, married, or has kids, & are busy with their own lives.

Kelly I am where you are. Midi is my best friend, he is what my day revolves around. You had such a wonderful bond with Angel and were so strong for him. He was your little man and always will be. I wish I could say something to help.

goholistic · Apr 4, 2016

@Angels mommy: Kelly, I'm sorry I haven't been able to keep up with this thread. I pop in from time to time to see how you're doing, and I just so happened to check tonight. My heart breaks for you. It seems to come in waves, doesn't it? And it hurts so bad. I'm now dealing with my own loss, so I know how you feel.

Too bad we don't live closer together. I think you and I would be good friends! I am not married and not having kids. I work full-time and live alone (for now). The kitties are my furchildren. Are there any "Meetup" gatherings in your area that might interest you?

Hugs to you, hun. Hang in there.

little cutie66 · Apr 5, 2016

Hi Kelly, I totally understand where your coming from. I wish we all lived closer, we can all meet up and help each other get through this. Losing a fur baby is so hard. I still cry for mine. Big hugs to you.

angels mommy · Apr 5, 2016

@Loving Mickey , Thank you for all of that. You are so kind. I am very close to my mom, as I've told you before, so I can understand. I would be the same way. I am glad you are blessed with someone in your life. It is hard when things change, & people move away. I am glad I found this site over 4 years ago. I've made so many friends here, & learned so much!

@Zed Xyzed, Oh Eric, you have been such a good friend, & I thank you so much!

You are right, our world revolves around them, especially when we love them so much.

@GoHolistic, Oh honey, I am so sorry. I didn't know you lost Sebastian. I am So sorry to hear this.

I agree, I wish we lived closer too! PM me if you need anything!!!!

Love & Hugs to you!

@little cutie66, It would be so nice if we all lived closer! Yes, our fur babies are so special to us. So much, that sometimes only we here on TCS can truly understand.

Thank all of you for being here for me. I really appreciate it.

I do feel better today, even though it's the 2 month mark. I guess I got it all out on Sunday night. I also went for a nice walk yesterday.

I was really tired this morning though, I think I hit my snooze button for 30 minutes!!

goholistic · Apr 5, 2016

Angels mommy said:
@GoHolistic, Oh honey, I am so sorry. I didn't know you lost Sebastian. I am So sorry to hear this.

I agree, I wish we lived closer too! PM me if you need anything!!!!

Love & Hugs to you!

Thank all of you for being here for me. I really appreciate it.

I do feel better today, even though it's the 2 month mark. I guess I got it all out on Sunday night. I also went for a nice walk yesterday.

I was really tired this morning though, I think I hit my snooze button for 30 minutes!!

Thank you. It is very hard to go through!

I'm glad you had a nice walk. Still really chilly here...20s at night this week.

angels mommy · Apr 5, 2016

GoHolistic said:
Thank you. It is very hard to go through!

I'm glad you had a nice walk. Still really chilly here...20s at night this week.

Yes, it is.

I will be thinking of you!

It was cooler today, & supposed to go down to freezing tonight. A cool front this weekend w/ highs only at 58 on sat. I think that should be the last of it though, because it's been pretty nice otherwise.

I weeded my garden Sunday, so it's ready whenever I get seeds & flowers. I usually do seed, but think I may get some already started this year. I always plant sunflowers though!

(I think I have garden photos on my profile page).

goholistic · Apr 5, 2016

Angels mommy said:
Yes, it is.

I will be thinking of you!

It was cooler today, & supposed to go down to freezing tonight. A cool front this weekend w/ highs only at 58 on sat. I think that should be the last of it though, because it's been pretty nice otherwise.

I weeded my garden Sunday, so it's ready whenever I get seeds & flowers. I usually do seed, but think I may get some already started this year. I always plant sunflowers though!

(I think I have garden photos on my profile page).

I hope this will be the last of it. I'm ready for warmer weather. Your garden should give you something to look forward to, eh? I'm not very good with plants, despite my username! I need something resilient and okay with being forgotten about. LOL. My Zebra Cactus likes me and is doing fabulous on my window sill at work.

angels mommy · Apr 5, 2016

GoHolistic said:
I hope this will be the last of it. I'm ready for warmer weather. Your garden should give you something to look forward to, eh? I'm not very good with plants, despite my username! I need something resilient and okay with being forgotten about. LOL. My Zebra Cactus likes me and is doing fabulous on my window sill at work.

That's funny. I do love it, but It's also a pain that I don't have a hose to water with, so that makes it very difficult! We used to have one on the house, but years ago this guy that lived downstairs, started washing his car & a boat a lot, & we don't pay for water, so my landlord capped it off! I don't dare ask him for one, because I don't want to give him any reason to raise my rent. I think I am paying less than the others, & have a nicer place, BUT, I think he knows I have done a lot of improvements myself, & paid for them, so he hasn't, & praying it stays that way!! SO, I just fill two watering cans & take them out to the porch, & water over the railing, rather go up & down the stairs a bunch, until I have to do the further end at the bottom.

This year however, I do want to get some things that will be less care. I love hydrangeas so I want to get one for the end of the garden, & maybe some lantana, if I can keep the size down by trimming.

wendydelmo · Apr 5, 2016

I'm so sorry. Your Angel truly was an angel.

angels mommy · Apr 5, 2016

Wendydelmo said:
I'm so sorry. Your Angel truly was an angel.

Thank you Wendy. He really was, & is now.

kittylove53 · Apr 6, 2016

Dear Kelly,

I knew this was going to be part of mourning for Angel. I have been through this too many times,but it still hurts so very much. Every time I dwell on all my fur babies that have crossed over I still cry for them. There was one Tortie named Twicky that always makes me cry. She was such a wonderful playful kitty.She would lick my whole face,climb on my back,wait under the bed to attack and play whenever I walked by.She only lived a year and a half due to FIP. She died in my son's arms. I was wreck after that.I was told by the vet that I could not get another kitty for six months,and to keep my other cats away from the places she dwelt in.I hold her memory close to my heart forever. I was forced to leave our apt rather suddenly in Feb,and had to give one of my three cats to my son,who moved out in Dec.Between these recent events I know I would have gone crazy if it weren't for my two remaining cats. I still can not get used to my son being out of our new apt. It is so hard to get used to changing events,that happen all at once. You would think that by now I would have the magic answer to how to handle the loss of a beloved fur baby, but I don't. I am not strong enough to endure being without a kitty for any amount of time. I know,and all of us on this site feel,and have felt the way you do at this time. Try to hold on. For me I would have to get another kitty to care for,you take your time and you will know when it is the right time for you. Hugs and love to you.

angels mommy · Apr 6, 2016

@kittylove53 , Thank you so much, just

I guess in a way, it's good. It will help push me back out into the world. I have heard there is a photography group in town. All levels, learning from each other. I still have to check it out. Not sure how it works, as far as just joining, or whatever. So depending on how often they meet up, requirements, etc.. I may check it out. IF I can get my computer fixed that is. It won't load my camera card anymore. It's done that for a year now, so had just been using my phone. (not knowing how expensive it would be to fix). So, we'll see.

goholistic · Apr 7, 2016

Angels mommy said:
That's funny. I do love it, but It's also a pain that I don't have a hose to water with, so that makes it very difficult! We used to have one on the house, but years ago this guy that lived downstairs, started washing his car & a boat a lot, & we don't pay for water, so my landlord capped it off! I don't dare ask him for one, because I don't want to give him any reason to raise my rent. I think I am paying less than the others, & have a nicer place, BUT, I think he knows I have done a lot of improvements myself, & paid for them, so he hasn't, & praying it stays that way!! SO, I just fill two watering cans & take them out to the porch, & water over the railing, rather go up & down the stairs a bunch, until I have to do the further end at the bottom.

This year however, I do want to get some things that will be less care. I love hydrangeas so I want to get one for the end of the garden, & maybe some lantana, if I can keep the size down by trimming.

Yeh, that is kind of a pain!

I hope you are doing a little better today.

Loving Mickey · Apr 7, 2016

angels mommy
Kelly, just checking in to see how you are doing. I know you recently passed the two month mark on Angel's passing. It is still so very new and I know it will take quite awhile to even feel okay. I was thinking a lot about my Mickey today and feeling his loss greatly. I know how the tears can just come on out of nowhere.
Thinking of you and hope you are doing well!

angels mommy · Apr 8, 2016

@Loving Mickey, Thank you for checking in. I have been doing good this week. I hope you have too. Yes, it can "sneak" up on you when you least expect it sometimes, but so far, so good this week. I bought some more flowers today, to put on the shelf where the urn is. It's been nice keeping fresh flowers there, & by the picture of him in my room.

I think you guys should both go buy some flowers for yourselves too. It will make you feel better.

kittens mom · Apr 8, 2016

Kelly, Sometimes for no reason at all it just sucks. And I just accept that it is likely to do so for many years to come on and off.

angels mommy · Apr 8, 2016

Kittens Mom said:
Kelly, Sometimes for no reason at all it just sucks. And I just accept that it is likely to do so for many years to come on and off.

I agree, that is so true. I hope you are doing okay this week. I also hope the trial is going well.

My Sweet Angel Baby Crossed the Rainbow Bridge 2/5/16

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Mickey , my heart and soul Angel kitty

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Mickey , my heart and soul Angel kitty

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Kittens life was lost to a negligent veterinarian.

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