Concerned and Needing Advice for our feral kitten we took in.

Back in October, my mom rescued what we assume to be a feral kitten from the neighborhood. He did not have any previous owner and we took him to the vet to get him scanned and checked out. He was confirmed to not belong to anyone and was a stray (or dumped at a young age by someone). It's very clear this little guy has not had any socialization in his younger years and with his health problems he had when he first came to us, he has had it rough.

He is now approx 9-10 months (per vet) and has been nuetered since November. He eats a fresh raw food in morning (Fresh Pet) and Organix dry in morning and at night. Litter box is cleaned daily/every other day  and he gets a good playtime twice a day. Usually 30min in the morning of running around with wand toy, sitting out on the patio with me, and then after work he gets a good 1hr-2hr playtime while I relax and watch my shows and have him chase toys, etc.

He can be the sweetest thing, wanting to cuddle with you to sleep, kissing, rubbing his head against your cheek, etc. He wants to be with me all of the time and I try my best to give him love and that needed kitten time for his play.

We have an older cat in the house who is very docile and sweet. She wants to be with him and love him too, she always tries to lick and clean him and cuddle with him. However, he is just too rambunctious for her and is too harsh with playtime. 

Very often, Oliver will get what we call "pissed" and take it out on us or her. He will go into an annoyed state if we aren't paying attention to him 24/7 and will come up to me on the couch and jump and latch onto my leg and bite or scratch with his back feet. It is very clear he is trying to be playful, however he is just too harsh and strong with his paws and teeth.

I have been consistently saying "No!" and picking him up and putting him on the ground when he is on the counter where he is not allowed, and I do a similar thing when he bites or scratches too rough. I say no, pick him up, and put him in the room for 10-20 minutes. 

We have had him since October and doing this same thing, however the bites and scratches have not gotten any more gentle. 

I know the most common suggestion is to get a kitten his age to learn with, and I would be absolutely for that, however I am worried if it would be a good idea because of his relationship with our 3 yr old cat Rory. He does not treat her kindly and doesnt learn from her hisses or cries that he is being rough. I don't want him to hurt another kitten with his strength.

Right now, Rory and him are separated and I am reintroducing them the Jackson Galaxy/forum recommended way with food on the other sides of the door and slowly opening it as weeks continue to go on.

Being separated from her now makes him harsher to me when I'm doing things like laundry or cooking dinner though because he takes it out on me for being distracted from him. When I lock him in his room, he cries very loudly and yowls and as we are in an apartment building, I worry that he is annoying the neighbors too.

I'm seeking some advice or suggestions on how I can help curb this behavior with him and get him treating Rory fairly so we can live at peace. I feel like I'm always on edge around him these days because he can go from cuddling my chin and kneading my arm to biting my ear in 2 seconds!

Thanks in advance!

When he's aggravating Rory, do you intervene or let it play out? The best way he's going to learn not to be so rough is if he pushes Rory past her limits and she reprimands him. I know it goes against your instincts to let Oliver bully Rory, but she will not let him seriously hurt her, and she will also not seriously harm him. Her retaliation is what is going to show him that that's not how play works.

It sounds like you are doing a very good job of taking care of him. One thing to note is that he is not trying to punish you for ignoring him. As you guessed, he is just trying to play and he thinks pouncing on your leg is very fun, because at a young age he wasn't socialized correctly with other cats and didn't learn good cat manners. He's not annoyed with you. He honestly does not understand that you're not having as much fun as he is because he's socially a bit stunted.

The time out was a good idea, but he's not making the correct associations so it doesn't seem to be working. Did you provide him with lots of toys in his timeout room? This isn't rewarding him for his behavior, but giving him an outlet for his playful energy so he doesn't go right back to pouncing on you as soon as he's let out. If you did and it didn't work, it's time to try something new. One option is to let out a sharp, high pitched squeak or squeal as soon as he latches on to you. Nothing timid will work for this guy. A noise that will really startle him. If that does nothing, you can try consistently replacing your body part with a toy. When he grabs your leg, stick a big toy between his paws, like one of those Kong kicker toys, or even an old stuffed sock will be fine. If you push it into his belly it will get him kicking at that rather than your legs. If it's at all possible to catch him right before he pounces on you and do this, that's even better. The hope is he'll learn to grab these things when he gets a playful urge instead. The last tip I have is probably the most difficult, which is just to ignore him completely. Be as still as a statue while he's clawing and chewing on you. If he gets absolutely no reaction, he will get bored and move on. If you do this every single time, he'll learn that it's just not fun anymore and he'll give up. If there are body parts he particularly loves to chew on, you can try spraying them with a safe bitter tasting spray that you can find in most pet stores, too.

He's still acting like a kitten and will continue to do so for a while. Don't separate him from Rory as Molly92 said - the two of them will straighten that out. When Oliver wants your attention too much, talk directly to him and in a normal voice tell him you can't play with him right now, but some toys are wherever. (I said that to Mingo last night and he went and got one of his toys to play with.) It may not work at first, but your calm and sensible voice will get to him. If he hurts you pouncing on you, yell "Ouch!" real loud. This is what kittens do when playing with other kittens and it's how they learn not to be so rough. Mingo still jumps on my arm, but he doesn't scratch me anymore, and he never jumps on my arm if I don't have clothes on. He's learned these two things from my saying "Ouch!" 

Molly92 said:

 
When he's aggravating Rory, do you intervene or let it play out? The best way he's going to learn not to be so rough is if he pushes Rory past her limits and she reprimands him. I know it goes against your instincts to let Oliver bully Rory, but she will not let him seriously hurt her, and she will also not seriously harm him. Her retaliation is what is going to show him that that's not how play works.

It sounds like you are doing a very good job of taking care of him. One thing to note is that he is not trying to punish you for ignoring him. As you guessed, he is just trying to play and he thinks pouncing on your leg is very fun, because at a young age he wasn't socialized correctly with other cats and didn't learn good cat manners. He's not annoyed with you. He honestly does not understand that you're not having as much fun as he is because he's socially a bit stunted.

The time out was a good idea, but he's not making the correct associations so it doesn't seem to be working. Did you provide him with lots of toys in his timeout room? This isn't rewarding him for his behavior, but giving him an outlet for his playful energy so he doesn't go right back to pouncing on you as soon as he's let out. If you did and it didn't work, it's time to try something new. One option is to let out a sharp, high pitched squeak or squeal as soon as he latches on to you. Nothing timid will work for this guy. A noise that will really startle him. If that does nothing, you can try consistently replacing your body part with a toy. When he grabs your leg, stick a big toy between his paws, like one of those Kong kicker toys, or even an old stuffed sock will be fine. If you push it into his belly it will get him kicking at that rather than your legs. If it's at all possible to catch him right before he pounces on you and do this, that's even better. The hope is he'll learn to grab these things when he gets a playful urge instead. The last tip I have is probably the most difficult, which is just to ignore him completely. Be as still as a statue while he's clawing and chewing on you. If he gets absolutely no reaction, he will get bored and move on. If you do this every single time, he'll learn that it's just not fun anymore and he'll give up. If there are body parts he particularly loves to chew on, you can try spraying them with a safe bitter tasting spray that you can find in most pet stores, too.

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Thank you so much for your reply. I do have some toys in his timeout room, but I only recently started putting them in there and I find it does make him a bit calmer when he comes out. I will keep up with that and hopefully see some improvements. I have tried ignoring him and it seems to be the most effective for him, I do it specifically at night when he jumps on the bed and tries to get my legs under the covers. It used to be a nightly fiasco trying to sleep with him but now its maybe 2-3 times a night and I just stay still until he runs away.  I will try the cry idea, maybe I'm giving him vocal sounds that don't sound enough like pain or surprise and he takes it as me egging him on. 

As for Rory, how rough is too rough to be with a kitten? Some times its just a boop back and forth with the paws or he jumps on her and tries to wrestle her down, but other times he pins her until she cries and rips out some of her fur around her neck. It's the latter that I get worried about the most. She does hiss and swat back at him when he pushes her (it took her a few weeks to finally stand up for herself, she's so tolerant) and she has her tree that she runs to the top of to get a way from him. It just seems like whenever she's out on the prowl on the ground he's out to get her and pins her very harshly.

DreamerRose said:

 
He's still acting like a kitten and will continue to do so for a while. Don't separate him from Rory as Molly92 said - the two of them will straighten that out. When Oliver wants your attention too much, talk directly to him and in a normal voice tell him you can't play with him right now, but some toys are wherever. (I said that to Mingo last night and he went and got one of his toys to play with.) It may not work at first, but your calm and sensible voice will get to him. If he hurts you pouncing on you, yell "Ouch!" real loud. This is what kittens do when playing with other kittens and it's how they learn not to be so rough. Mingo still jumps on my arm, but he doesn't scratch me anymore, and he never jumps on my arm if I don't have clothes on. He's learned these two things from my saying "Ouch!" 

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Thanks, I'll try raising my voice higher and louder. I'm a very soft-spoken person so even when he does, I know I don't say it as loud as I probably should and it's not working because he doesn't view it as "cries" from his play.