SO Totally Not About Cats! Lets Talk Diamonds!

So, Tom and I are starting to look for an engagement ring 

We're both late middle-aged so no rush for it, but he keeps bringing it up.  We've been together 7 years now, and while both of us have been married before, we both like being married so why not?  

I am having a heck of a time figuring out exactly what I want this time around.  Different from before for sure.  I had 2 (yea, married 2x) round stones. First one was about .50 carat in a setting I despised (his dad was a part time jeweler - I always got the feeling they picked out the cheapest one). I eventually reset it into a solitaire necklace.

My second E-Ring was just under a carat, set with a couple of baguettes.  I loved that ring, probably because I picked it that time    Haven't quite figured out how to reset this one yet without it looking well, like an engagement ring lol.

Budget is not large; he's a full time student these days.Lucky for him I don't expect or like large stones.  My taste in jewelry had changed dramatically over the years.  I used to love wearing a lot of it at once.  Now, I'm more streamlined and simple.  All I wear is a ring he gave me (kind of a promise ring, tiny channel set diamonds with heart shaped cut outs on the side of the band), a delicate necklace also given to me by him (it looks like a rose stem with small diamonds in it) and, my diamond earrings (solitaires, from my 2nd ex).  Pretty minimalist in comparison to my youth.

He has an inheritance coming to him; both parents sadly died recently within a couple of months of each other.  But, it's turning into a slightly complicated/messy situation with siblings, so who knows when it will finally be filed. He hopes it won't take 6 months, let alone longer.  His mom gave him a wad of cash right before she passed and he ear marked some of it for a ring although it may be better to wait and see what he can really afford (not that I want him to waste too much on it either).  

Having said that, if we find something that fits the budget and wows me enough now, well, we'll just get it. I'm mostly looking at vintage/antique stones and ring settings as they seem to be the ones that really catch my eye. Back in the 1920's they cut stones very different than now and they just have more personality to me.  But I am having trouble narrowing it down because I like everything I see!

So, my question is how did you make the choice for your E-rings? Or did you significant other go ahead and take a chance by buying it without your input? What shape is your diamond?  Any advice, suggestions or anecdotes to share?  

I have way too much info to share. I used to work for a jewelry manufacturer. I bought the diamonds. :lol3: We didn't do engagement rings all that often, but occasionally did.

My first piece of advise is when you buy the ring, buy a wedding band at the same time. Buying a set is best. There are so many beautiful, unusual diamond rings now, but you will never find band to go with it unless it is custom made. My diamond is an unusual cut marquise, purchased long before I started working at the jewelry place. I had an awful time finding a wedding band that would fit the setting. Awful. I finally found a wrap that worked. I would take a pic, but I just dropped my wedding band off for a repair on Thursday and having the rest of my rings appraised.

Chanel sets are beautiful, but are harder to resize.

Based on what you are saying, I think you would like a cushion cut stone. It's a square with rounded corners and has more of a vintage feel. In my opinion, color is extremely important. Clarity is too, but no one is going to spot a tiny imperfection whereas if you have a yellow tinge to your ring, everyone will notice it.

ETA - we picked out the engagement ring together.

Thanks Karen, good advice.  I've been looking at cushions already - I prefer the chunkier looking ones.

I had seen a vintage marquis yesterday which was stunning - about .80 carat.  Someone suggested setting it east/west (sideways) to make it easier to wear.  I would be worried about the pointed ends if it were as a solitaire  - I'm really hard on stuff.  But, then I remembered one of my sisters has a marquis so I'm like - nah, maybe not.  

I didn't think about the wedding band problem, thanks for mentioning it.  My first ring was very simple so finding a band to go with it was easy.  Last time, I did get the band at the same time and they went together well.  But that was a solitaire as well, although set differently.  It was easy to match up.

Everything I'm looking at that is vintage would possibly be a problem. I'd need to take that under consideration for sure.  I wouldn't mind getting a plain band if need be.

BTW, there is a solitaire setting I am coveting by Danhov.  It's incredibly modern and I could only get a round stone in it (and possibly a size he can't afford right now) but my heart flutters every time I see it:

ETA I just noticed they can make it custom to fit any size stone.  For the price, they should!

Congrats on almost being engaged.  But why does an engagement ring have to be a diamond? Why not a ruby or a sapphire or a pearl, or onyx or amethyst.

If you must have diamonds, check out chocolate, pink or black diamonds.  I have a ring that is black and white diamonds, and saw one that was chocolate diamonds that was just gorgeous.  Years ago when I was engaged I had a ruby surrounded by white diamonds. It was stunning.

Natalie_ca said:

 
Congrats on almost being engaged.  But why does an engagement ring have to be a diamond? Why not a ruby or a sapphire or a pearl, or onyx or amethyst.

If you must have diamonds, check out chocolate, pink or black diamonds.  I have a ring that is black and white diamonds, and saw one that was chocolate diamonds that was just gorgeous.  Years ago when I was engaged I had a ruby surrounded by white diamonds. It was stunning.

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I'm considering everything lol.

I saw some eternity bands I really like also.  And, have been looking at colored diamonds and other gems.  

I think it's going to be one of those things where once I see it, I'll know that's the one.  

We went to the jewelry store together but I was the one that picked out my ring.  I did buy a set instead of just the engagement ring.

Like you said you are in no rush, just look until you find the one that you really like.

My taste have really changed as I have gotten older.  I used to be all about a simple solitaire now I like the 3 stone rings.  

Small, emerald cut.

I picked out my ring. After my best friend's bridal shower a few of us girls went to the jewelry store to have her ring cleaned. One of our friends knew the manager so we got chatting and looking at rings. It was a chain store (Reeds) so they had a catalog. I circled the ones I liked and circled my favorite probably 10 times. It's actually a solitaire with a wrap that he had permanently soldered together. The center stone is a heart; which I still love! It has a small marquis cut stone on each side with small channel set stones on the outside. Its primarily white gold with yellow accents. My wedding band is yellow with channel set stones. Neither ring fits now. :slant: I was 20 when we got married and a lot thinner. They fit till i got pregnant with my first. My hands have never recovered. :slant:

DH gave me a gift card to a local jewelry store for Christmas to replace my band (which I wear on a chain) but I haven't found one I like in that price range. I may end up getting a mothers ring instead. Whenever I get one; it will be more simple. I want to be able to go about my day without worrying about damaging my ring. I had to have my engagement ring repaired several times because stones got lose and a prong cracked once.

I think the chushion cut stones are gorgeous!! I'd love a ring with one! I hope you find something you like that you will enjoy wearing for many years to come!

I forgot to mention that I did pick my ring out and it was used, but not antique.  The previous owner sized up.  I was tickled pink. 

The antique diamonds are cut different.  They're sharper.  One of DH's young relatives got an antique diamond and emerald engagement ring.  It's very pretty.  

Well I got a German Dressage saddle as an engagement ring.  Vintage jewelry has so much personality. You really have to pick for yourself there I think. To me all diamond engagement rings look alike.

MoochNNoodles said:

I picked out my ring. After my best friend's bridal shower a few of us girls went to the jewelry store to have her ring cleaned. One of our friends knew the manager so we got chatting and looking at rings. It was a chain store (Reeds) so they had a catalog. I circled the ones I liked and circled my favorite probably 10 times. It's actually a solitaire with a wrap that he had permanently soldered together. The center stone is a heart; which I still love! It has a small marquis cut stone on each side with small channel set stones on the outside. Its primarily white gold with yellow accents. My wedding band is yellow with channel set stones. Neither ring fits now.

I was 20 when we got married and a lot thinner. They fit till i got pregnant with my first. My hands have never recovered.

DH gave me a gift card to a local jewelry store for Christmas to replace my band (which I wear on a chain) but I haven't found one I like in that price range. I may end up getting a mothers ring instead. Whenever I get one; it will be more simple. I want to be able to go about my day without worrying about damaging my ring. I had to have my engagement ring repaired several times because stones got lose and a prong cracked once.

I think the chushion cut stones are gorgeous!! I'd love a ring with one! I hope you find something you like that you will enjoy wearing for many years to come!

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Surprisingly, I like heart shaped also.  Tom was looking over my shoulder as I was doing online research and saw one and said "Oh, that one doesn't seem like you'd want it".  I told him actually, I kind of do.  But, only from him. He's such a romantic guy at heart (no pun intended).  The "promise" ring he gave me has laser cut outs of hearts on the band.  I thought it might be nice to have the engagement ring refer to that band.  It's hard to find a properly shaped one though; many aren't quite cut right and wind up looking somewhat wonky lol.  Plus, almost nobody I know has one - I don't think I've ever seen anyone wearing one come to think of it.  

Kittens Mom said:

 
Well I got a German Dressage saddle as an engagement ring.  Vintage jewelry has so much personality. You really have to pick for yourself there I think. To me all diamond engagement rings look alike.

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That is very cool!  I bet that saddle will last as long as a diamond would.  I used to ride for fun years ago and know how important a good saddle is.

sivyaleah said:

 
Surprisingly, I like heart shaped also.  Tom was looking over my shoulder as I was doing online research and saw one and said "Oh, that one doesn't seem like you'd want it".  I told him actually, I kind of do.  But, only from him. He's such a romantic guy at heart (no pun intended).  The "promise" ring he gave me has laser cut outs of hearts on the band.  I thought it might be nice to have the engagement ring refer to that band.  It's hard to find a properly shaped one though; many aren't quite cut right and wind up looking somewhat wonky lol.  Plus, almost nobody I know has one - I don't think I've ever seen anyone wearing one come to think of it.  

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I don't know anyone else with a heart.  People used to comment "Oh! A heart!"  We had gold entwined hearts on our wedding invitations and decorations.  It's something I'm drawn to.  

From what I remember; DH had them send several stones back because he didn't like them.  Either on their own or against the stones in the wrap.  My rings were not the equivalent of a car expensive; but he did try to make sure he was getting what he paid for!  In retrospect I'm glad the ring isn't as expensive as what some friends have gotten.  I have a ring I love and will always love; but I have different priorities now. No one went into debt to get it.  I would have regretted that.  Does that make sense?  In looking for a new band; i'd like something with pretty details. But mostly i just want to have a comfortable band.  I have a silver and opal ring that I wear in its place.  It's pretty; but it doesn't really look like a wedding ring. 

sivyaleah said:

ETA I just noticed they can make it custom to fit any size stone.  For the price, they should!

danhov.jpg

• sivyaleah
• Feb 6, 2016

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Oh that's really pretty!!!! My only concern would be how secure that stone is set. It looks like a good whack and it could pop out. :nod: I'm really paranoid about that kind of thing, probably because I am super tough on rings.

I picked up my ring on Saturday. It's really quite boring as it's almost 25 years old and things just weren't that fancy back then :lol3: I picked up out because of the super heavy duty setting.

MoochNNoodles said:

 
I don't know anyone else with a heart.  People used to comment "Oh! A heart!"  We had gold entwined hearts on our wedding invitations and decorations.  It's something I'm drawn to.  

From what I remember; DH had them send several stones back because he didn't like them.  Either on their own or against the stones in the wrap.  My rings were not the equivalent of a car expensive; but he did try to make sure he was getting what he paid for!  In retrospect I'm glad the ring isn't as expensive as what some friends have gotten.  I have a ring I love and will always love; but I have different priorities now. No one went into debt to get it.  I would have regretted that.  Does that make sense?  In looking for a new band; i'd like something with pretty details. But mostly i just want to have a comfortable band.  I have a silver and opal ring that I wear in its place.  It's pretty; but it doesn't really look like a wedding ring. 

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I agree about being reasonable about cost.  The budget is seriously low this time around due to him being in school full time but I think we can eak out a decent piece around or just under a carat - possibly just over depending on the cut.  Priorities, you know?

 I was considering selling my other (larger) stone to help pay.  I can afford it, and we're both really egalitarian in how we view relationships.  It isn't like I *need* that diamond and I couldn't figure out what to do with it anyway.  I know I won't get much for it - reselling not cost effective at all but I'd rather put that whatever amount of money into the ring Tom is buying, than hold onto something that reminds me of a failed relationship, you know?  Could mean the difference between a setting I am ok with and one which I really love.  

There are so many other things which money should be spent on and while I admire those who have larger rings, it isn't for me anymore.  It's more the symbolism which matters (hence why I like the heart shape), not what was spent.  I have an old house that's a money pit ROFL - that's where the money goes

Perhaps some day, he'll write that book he always has hoped to and then he can buy me something I really want.  IDK even what that might be (cat sanctuary?) but we have time to figure it out.  I think, this one will stick; we're both getting too old to change partners again 

AbbysMom said:

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• AbbysMom
• Feb 8, 2016

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I love the prongs on that 

And yes, that ring I like IS set very high. I'd have to see it in person for sure.  I'm terribly hard on stuff too.

My ring was in a low setting. One 0.5 ct in the center with 0.25 ct on either side. There are two additional small chips on either side. They were mine cut stones. We found it in an Estate sale. 

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sivyaleah said:

 
I agree about being reasonable about cost.  The budget is seriously low this time around due to him being in school full time but I think we can eak out a decent piece around or just under a carat - possibly just over depending on the cut.  Priorities, you know?

 I was considering selling my other (larger) stone to help pay.  I can afford it, and we're both really egalitarian in how we view relationships.  It isn't like I *need* that diamond and I couldn't figure out what to do with it anyway.  I know I won't get much for it - reselling not cost effective at all but I'd rather put that whatever amount of money into the ring Tom is buying, than hold onto something that reminds me of a failed relationship, you know?  Could mean the difference between a setting I am ok with and one which I really love.  

There are so many other things which money should be spent on and while I admire those who have larger rings, it isn't for me anymore.  It's more the symbolism which matters (hence why I like the heart shape), not what was spent.  I have an old house that's a money pit ROFL - that's where the money goes

Perhaps some day, he'll write that book he always has hoped to and then he can buy me something I really want.  IDK even what that might be (cat sanctuary?) but we have time to figure it out.  I think, this one will stick; we're both getting too old to change partners again 

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I don't know if it's something with too much baggage but would you consider having the stone you have now reset in a new ring?

Denice said:

 
I don't know if it's something with too much baggage but would you consider having the stone you have now reset in a new ring?

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I have considered it a lot.  I just can't find a setting that doesn't scream "engagement ring" to wear on my right hand.  I had already made the first one into a necklace, which I don't wear much anymore - so that's out too.  Unless I swap out the smaller one in the necklace for the larger one.  That first one has way more baggage than the second lol.  First ex was a serious jerk.  Second ex is a nice enough guy - we just had some problems that could not be worked out due to differing ideas on what a relationship means.  I have no hard feelings towards him.

I got my engagement ring wedding set at a pawn shop in Tulsa Oklahoma I think it was called Gold & Silver pawn. We picked it up for $200 and it's a diamond shaped diamond I forgot the cut name. It's a quarter of a carat solitaire. I don't wear it any longer cause my mother-in law gave me one of her rings that has larger stones. I thought it was grand at the time though. Pawn shops sometimes have great deals if your willing to look around.