Oglum's companion grieving

I posted in the Crossing the Bridge forum re our boy Oglum. I think her companion of 12 years, our fur baby girl Cali, is grieving for him. She just looks a bit withdrawn and sad. She's not eating too much, although she is eating. Do cats grieve loss of their kitty companions? I'm sure she is. What can I do? Thank you [emoji]128149[/emoji][emoji]128591[/emoji]

Yes they do grieve, my cat Batman misses Fella and Little Girl, he still eats but his so sad. He walks around the house and howls every morning and night. His calling his lost family. He has become very clingy to us also. I get so sad when I see him like this. Just show a lot of love and talk to them. I know this is a very hard time. I still cry everyday.

Yes cats do grieve.  When my Baby T died years ago unexpectedly during treatment at the vets my two boys definitely grieved.  They walked around meowing looking for her.  She was a 2nd mother to them when they were babies and had been in their lives since they were born.  When I noticed they were looking for her I would just give them extra attention.  I also increased their play time to distract them.  Oddly enough what finally worked was when I actually sat down and told them that she got sick and had passed away.  I remember crying when I was telling them this.  They seemed to understand because they both climbed in my lap for cuddles after the conversation.  After I did this they stopped looking for her pretty quickly.  

Cats also grieve for things other than death of their feline companions.  Some friends of mine got divorced years ago and the cats stayed with her. They had two cats and one of them was very bonded with the husband.  I noticed when I was cat sitting that Ripley seemed to be calling out looking for his daddy.  I had a conversation with the cat about why daddy was gone and told him that he needed to take care of mommy. When my friend returned from her business trip a few days later he had stopped looking for daddy and became a lot more affectionate with mommy.  I had my hubby go over and visit Ripley with me because he was also very bonded with my hubby.

Try to give Cali as much extra attention as you can and explain things to her.  I know that explaining what happened to Cali sounds silly but I and other friends of mine have seen this work.  Yes it may hurt to have this conversation with Cali but go ahead and release the tears and let Cali love on you if she wants to.  It will help both of you.

Thank you and God bless xx

Poor little girl, give her lots of love, she must be worried for him and wondering where he is. 

Oh thank you so much for this! How very interesting. Yes Cali definitely knows something is missing. She's I longer getting licking and grooming, she doesn't have her big brother Oglum to cuddle upto. She's going to really miss him in winter poor love...he was our first love. We got Oglum in 1997 and rescued Cali in 2003. It took a week or so for big bro to bond with her, but he did...they had been inseparable..

Thank you so much for your advice. I will go now and talk to her. I will let you know how it goes.
Xxx

Thank you xxx

She's getting lots of cuddles and kisses my baby girl. Thank you so much xx

Speck was a kitten when Smoke crossed the Bridge.  He loved Smoke.  DH had bought Speck a squirrel toy.  Actually a dog toy, it was too large for Speck to play with and he always ignored it.  After Smoke crossed, we kept finding the squirrel toy on the bed.  It puzzled me that he could pick it up, much less carry it up on a fourposter bed that needs a step stool.  I've read that cats don't see in color, but this toy was about the same color as Smoke.  Somehow, however, I think that toy reminded him of Smoke.  I know he missed him very much and seemed really sad.  He did get back to himself, but it took awhile.    

Bless you.  I hope your girl Cali starts feeling better soon.  

Thank you so much xxx

I did exactly what you advised and Cali is back to her old self already. I can't believe it. Thank you so much xxx

Ozlem64 said:

Oh thank you so much for this! How very interesting. Yes Cali definitely knows something is missing. She's I longer getting licking and grooming, she doesn't have her big brother Oglum to cuddle upto. She's going to really miss him in winter poor love...he was our first love. We got Oglum in 1997 and rescued Cali in 2003. It took a week or so for big bro to bond with her, but he did...they had been inseparable..

Thank you so much for your advice. I will go now and talk to her. I will let you know how it goes.
Xxx

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To have him for 18 years is a testament to you love for him and the wonderful care he received. Do you think bringing in another cat would help her?

Ozlem64 said:

I did exactly what you advised and Cali is back to her old self already. I can't believe it. Thank you so much xxx

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It's an amazing thing, but cats do seem to understand when you explain things to them. Last night, Mingo wanted to play. He sits in front of me and begs - "umm? umm?" I was too tired to play, so I said, "I can't play with you right now, but there are toys all around that you can play with." He instantly looked away and was playing with a crinkle ball a minute later. I couldn't believe it.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your boy Oglum, 18 years is definitely a testament to the love and good care you gave him!   So glad to hear Cali is responding to the extra hugs and scritches.  I agree with the others, i have no doubt in my mind that cats feel grief, but I am so glad she feels better now.  Maybe when your heart has healed a little, some lucky kitten (or two!) might find a place in your home!

You're all such wonderful and comforting people. I think my boy made me find you guys to find comfort and solace. Thank you all so much xxx

I'm very sorry for your loss. RIP Oglum.

Thank you so much. We brought him back home in an urn yesterday happy he's home but when we're sitting around w our other kitty and having family time, we are missing his presence. He had been such a part of our life for 18 years and it's like it's not fair that he doesn't get to enjoy 'family time' with us anymore. I'm sure he is in spirit [emoji]128153[/emoji][emoji]128153[/emoji][emoji]128153[/emoji]