I just took in a stray & EVERYTHING is going wrong! AND feral outside has abscess, I don't know what

chaucer

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@HarleyQ143   Henryetta didn't receive vitamins while she was pregnant. I was so new to this that I didn't do much but feed her and then after a week or so in my laundry room - she was almost too big to run around anyway except for jumping on the dryer- she went to the storage room off my carport. I just fed her a lot.  Kitten food is best, but the cans are so small and she ate so much that it was getting too expensive so she just got a can of wet food and her dry food, along with fresh water daily.  I don't know if it was her first litter or not, but I understand from others that the birth was easy for her, and after all the drama of shots, worming and sedation, I was very relieved. I didn't attend her during the birth. I saw one kitten on the blanket under the chair and came back at 3:45 AM to see others. The next day, there were five and all nursing. Henryetta ate three large cans of cat food that day!  All kittens were healthy and various shades of orange - some with white. Same father - Henryetta was no ****! 


I did what you did, minus the alcohol but if it helps then go for it.  Orville would get under foot outside, so one day I just picked him up - not all the way, but just a little and moved him over. He didn't mind. After that, I started picking him up a little higher and then moved a bit with him. He is still not a cat I have picked up and put over my shoulder, and I sure don't put him on his back in the cradling style. I only do that with Chaucer who has been with me since he was a kitten. Henryetta is getting better about it, but she squirms and I'd rather not have my face scratched. Orville's just too big to try it anyway.   
 

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I haven't given Nero any supplements as of yet.  Hadn't really thought of it, but I might look into it to see if there's something I can give him to help boost his immune system.  I'll see what my vet advises.

Yes, I can pick Nero up and hold him in my arms now and he purrs, but I keep him upright as well and point him away from my face, just in case.  :p
 
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chaucer

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Seems like Nero and Orville were pets at one point. Both seemed to have adjusted quickly and well to inside living.
 
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harleyq143

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Great advice, thank you so much everyone! I've made a little progress since my last post, not much, but this week I'm hoping to be able to pet him comfortably. Maybe try picking him up...or maybe not lol...
Originally Posted by catwoman707  

He seems very loving and affectionate, and wants it badly from you. 

His random swatting is sort of like when he is letting his guard down and getting in to the interactions then suddenly realizes he is still reserved and not confident yet and will swat.

This will fade soon actually.
@catwoman707...that definitely makes sense. When I walk into the room he rubs my legs so hard and forceful, like he wants to be affectionate so badly. This morning I was squatting down and he started rubbing against my arm so I attempted to pet him back with my elbow and he turned around and swatted at me, no hissing though. I think he got surprised that I started gesturing back to him since I haven't done so in a few days. I stopped wearing my gloves today too and he seemed timid to go close to my hands and smell them. So I still have to gather the nerve to start touching him with my bare hands again. I have been practicing my eye contact with him, not staring at him directly or I do the slow eye blink and look away. That seems to calm him down.  I hope you are right about OG cat. Every time I'm in the car driving through the neighborhood I can't help looking around for him. No sign anywhere so I hope he's just MIA at the moment.
 Originally Posted by Molly92

I agree the swatting and hissing is probably because he's still cautious, but he's such a lovebug he can't help but want lots of petting in between reminding you that he does NOT want to be taken to the vet again! But when time goes by and all you do is pet him and feed him, he'll trust that you don't mean him any harm. It also could be that he gets overstimulated from the petting sometimes, in which case you'll learn what sets him off and what his body language is like before he lashes out so you'll be able to predict when he's had enough and you can stop before he does.
@Molly92...lol oh no! He's going to be so upset at me when I gain his trust again only to take him to the vet in a few weeks (he has an appointment on the 22nd). I forgot about the overstimulating. That's something I learned very well with my Harley, she's never had a problem telling us when she's had enough affection and I have the battle scars to prove it lol. Time to learn it with this cat...I am definitely trying to build a routine with him so he gets more comfortable and have been sticking to it all week. Yesterday, however, we were at my in-laws all day and arrived home close to midnight. The minute we walked into the door I can hear him meowing from the upstairs bathroom and when I went to check on him to give him his wet food he was off the chain rubbing on my legs and the walls and seemed very excited. Also the room was a bit disheveled more than usual, almost like he didn't know what to do with himself in the room when I didn't show up with dinner and quality time...so he made a mess.

Thank you so much about your knowledge on supplements. I read through the thread about Lysine which I still have to finish and started the one about Chumley. Wow, it is a lot to take in. I definitely  would like to talk to the vet first when I see him in a few weeks before I think of adding any supplements. Hoping to finish reading by the time I see him. And I hope your baby's constipation will be under control soon! I've been feeding my cats Purina One and Blue Buffalo wet food. I used to feed Harley Blue Buffalo Wilderness dry food but she stopped eating it after awhile. Kitten food...I never thought of that, thank you!

Oh so I tried the baby food with BW kitty this morning and he didn't take it. Just smelled it but no tasting :( He seems to only like food for cats and no human food lol!

@CatSnip404...LOL please do not feel bad about your advice on taking in some alcohol intake because guess what...I did that this morning! Hahah...I read your post and was like " you know, I do need a drink!" only because I really have been feeling SO on edge for the past couple of weeks, not feeling at all like myself. I needed to loosen up. So I took a couple sips of wine before my visit with BW kitty and it did help. I felt more confident, I didn't wear gloves, and I even attempted to touch him back (although with my elbow) but I didn't feel as nervous as I have been. So funny...I have the lowest alcohol tolerance of anyone I know so a couple of sips was all it took :) He didn't even hiss at me at all.

I love hearing your stories on Nero's personality and progress because it really gives me a goal outlook! Same with @Chaucer 's Orville! That is where I picture BW kitty  to be and looking to that moment with him...
  Originally Posted by CatSnip404

I'm so glad you are willing to give this sweet boy the opportunity to show his true colors.  Of all of the ferals I brought in, Nero was the only one labelled "fractious", "mean". "vicious", "the bad one", etc by the spay/neuter place, and they advised me to take extreme caution in caring for him, and in no uncertain terms to definitely NOT let him out in my house, as I would never be able to get him back.  These are people that deal with cats all week long.  My heart was in my throat after I heard that.  But....in time....he proved them wrong.  He's a sweet, gentle boy that just wants to be loved but is a little afraid.
He definitely proved them wrong and you proved them wrong too. Despite their discouraging advice, you believed in him and showed compassion and look where he is now,  that is awesome! It's funny how Nero got labeled "the bad one" because that is how my Harley is labeled at her vet. I dread taking her to the vet because they have to sedate her each time since she's difficult for them to handle . They tell me at every visit that she's aggressive and tries to scratch them, giving me hints that it was our fault for the way we raised her. So Ill kind of get into protective mommy mode with a bit of an attitude right back at them.  They don't live with us so they never see her good side and how sweet she can be. Even so, I go home feeling like I'm the mom with the bad kid at school.  @Chaucer...awww, I used to be able to hold Harley cradle style but she won't let me do that anymore. I always wonder how BW kitty will be when I'm able to get hands on with him, like will he like to be held, does he like his tummy rubbed, etc...wow, your experience with Henryetta's pregnancy is something. How did you get her to settle down in your storage room? I'm still so indecisive about the female cat Grey but I do think sometimes where she settles down at night -or- if she is pregnant, where will she give birth...I made Grey an outdoor shelter but she never uses it. I'd feel so much better about her if she would just stay put on my property and use the shelter.

@Wingwalker...Thanks for the idea! I have kept the carrier in the room ever since I brought him home from the clinic but not sure if he ever went into it since then. Good idea to tie the door open because it does swing closed easily...I hope I won't have a problem when he has to go in a few weeks!

Thanks again for the excellent advice and stories! Good night :)
 

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Hi Harley!

So glad about the progress you're making!  Slow and steady does it.  Maybe a shot of brandy in his water will help too.  Just kidding of course.  XD  Hopefully his goal aligns with yours and you'll be able to pet him this week, but if not, it will come in time.  Don't feel disappointed if it doesn't.  I remember having some ups and downs with Nero.

I can't remember off-hand if you are using a Feliway diffuser, but if not, that helped a lot with Nero.  When I bring Nero to the vet, I spray the Feliway spray on a towel in his carrier (let it dry first), but also I give him a 100mg capsule of Gabapentin that I got from the vet ahead of time.  I put it in a little bit of wet food about an hour and a half before my appointment time.  It doesn't knock him out, but it takes the edge off a little bit.

Maybe the Gabapentin and Feliway spray might help Harley too.  Also, do you use the same vet each time or just whichever vet is available?  Not sure if using the same one consistently would help or not.  The other thing I wonder about is how they are handling her, especially the techs in the back when you're not there.  Perhaps they are fine, but the reason I ask is Nero did good on his first visit to my regular vet (sort of frozen in place), whereas at the spay/neuter clinic he was a hell cat.  There are too many variables to say for sure what the difference was, but differences in handling could be part of it.

Also, for when you eventually introduce Harley and BW kitty, I thought I'd share my experience of the past few days, in case it helps.  Nero still has not hissed or growled once at the girls, however, after a few days of being out and about with them, he is feeling more confident and wants to play with them, but even though they are becoming more comfortable with his presence they still aren't 100% there yet.

But unfortunately, twice now Miss Julia has run past and so he chased after her, but when she got herself into a corner she turned on him defensively, hissing and swatting, and he swatted back, although he almost fell over backwards.  She was the closest one to being a "friend" to him and unfortunately (and understandably) now she hisses at him on sight from further away than she was.

The other thing that happened was I threw a ball for him, and Miss Nadya saw it too and ran after it ahead of him, and he ran after her swatting at her butt.  I don't know if he had claws out or not, but I do know he was in major "play mode" just prior.

Both times I yelled and clapped my hands to startle them apart, but I'm concerned that his overzealous "playing" (I assume that's what it is) might permanently affect the ability for them to bond (if it hasn't already) if these incidents continue.  Plus of course I don't want to chance a major fight happening.

What I've observed is that he gets in this mode first thing in the morning, and then later in the evening, generally after he first wakes up, where he plays vigorously with toys, etc., and when he's in this mood, this is when these incidents tend to be likely.  Sometimes it's almost like he stalks them.

So when I see it coming on, I take him in the bedroom by himself and play with him with the laser light until he's tired out, and then I get him playing with his ball for good measure.  By the time I let him back out, he is much less interested in chasing them, but I watch him just to be sure.  I also started keeping him in my room again at night, for now, just to be on the safe side.

I could be wrong, but I do think he's playing, albeit rambunctiously, because otherwise he's fine with them except with he gets in the mood to play.

I think (hope) eventually, if the girls become more comfortable with him, they will welcome this playing as they seem to enjoy chasing each other, and it won't be an issue.  In the meantime I'll keep up this "intervention" in the hopes that they can become friends and try to keep Nero from ruining that chance in his effort to try to play with them before they are ready.

I just wanted to share to give you a heads up to this possibility in case you notice the same behavior eventually with Harley and BW kitty (who needs a name -- lol!  If you get stuck, maybe post for suggestions  :p  ) and what I've done to help things go more smoothly.
 
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chaucer

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@HarleyQ143 , BW kitty probably will get to where Nero and Orville are. It just takes time, and I have, with the help of Catsiters, recognized the signs that Orville was someone's cat at some point, but he most likely was on his own for more than a year because that is when I started feeding him. This helped greatly in "taming" him.  He looks like a different cat now. He is gentle and loving, and I really couldn't have asked for a better third cat, but the FIV still concerns me because he is jockeying for position with Chaucer, my small FIV-  male.
@Chaucer...awww, I used to be able to hold Harley cradle style but she won't let me do that anymore. I always wonder how BW kitty will be when I'm able to get hands on with him, like will he like to be held, does he like his tummy rubbed, etc...wow, your experience with Henryetta's pregnancy is something. How did you get her to settle down in your storage room? I'm still so indecisive about the female cat Grey but I do think sometimes where she settles down at night -or- if she is pregnant, where will she give birth...I made Grey an outdoor shelter but she never uses it. I'd feel so much better about her if she would just stay put on my property and use the shelter. 
Henryetta was very tame by the time she moved to the storage room. It's a big room with rugs on the floor, and it has  two windows she could look out.  She was getting uncomfortably big at that point so I think she just knew it was safe for her and her kittens.  I put lots of boxes around and built "forts" for her with boxes, and when I noticed she was going under a particular chair out there, I put a comfy velour blanket down for her. That's where she had her kittens.  Food was and is a great motivator for Henryetta so I think she settled down because she knew she didn't have to fight for food with other cats.  Keep in mind, too, that she was in my laundry room for 10 days until I moved her. The space in the storage room is like that in someone's bedroom so she had a lot more places to play and explore. She slept a lot too.

How are things going for you now?
 
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harleyq143

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Hi, sorry for my delay in replying, I haven't found the chance to sit down at my computer. Result: long post, sorry!

@Chaucer...Hi! Orville does sound like a big gentle teddy bear. It's great that you dedicated a year into feeding him first before taking him in and sometimes I wonder if I moved to quick on taking BW in. I only started feeding him in November. I know what you mean about the FIV concerns. I almost have started leaving those thoughts on the back burner after going into the bathroom everyday to spend time with him and being focused on building our relationship. But then I started exposing Harley to him the other day and those concerns all came back at the fore front. I wish I had the room to take in more cats, that storage room sounds perfect. I've been very concerned about Grey (the female) outside and can't help but feel this never ending anxiety about her situation. I almost feel like I should have taken care of her first before BW. But she won't let me touch her at all, only comes to me at arms length when I feed her. She also only comes during feeding times with the occasional appearance in my backyard. I have no way to just keep her put. She also never goes inside any of the bins I've made as shelters for the cats, even just to check them out.  Last night it went down to 1 degree and all I kept thinking was where can she be sleeping.

@CatSnip404...Hi there! I am using a Felliway diffuser which I have plugged in my living room which is a fairly huge room that all the other rooms connect too. I'm pretty sure it's leaking into the bathroom that BW is staying in but I do want to buy the spray so I can directly use it on objects that will be in contact with him. I think the diffuser is helping Harley since she seems more calmer than usual (although she does still scratch at things she's not supposed too but that's for another thread lol). I should look into that Gabapentin next time I'm at her vet. I bring her to Banfield Animal Hospital in Petsmart. At her first visit there she was fine and calm at the beginning. Then they took her temperature anally and she became hell cat and has been that way every time I bring her there. So I'm planning to take BW to a local Animal Hospital and see how they are, if all goes well I'll bring Harley there too.

How's Nero been doing with his play time these past couple of days? Has the one-on-one playtime you do with him, helping? Thank you for the heads up and the update because I have a feeling BW is going to be the same way. BW seems to have a lot of energy that he needs to release and I've been especially noticing it these past couple days. It sure doesn't help that he's stuck in a small bathroom with not much to do. Every time I go in there he'll rub against my legs like crazy, and he's really strong and forceful about it. I started holding my hand out for him and he'll cautiously smell and rub  against my hand. I haven't had a chance to do full on petting with him yet, I still hold myself back! I've given him a couple of catnip toys which he plays with in front of me, but when I try to play with him myself, he gives me this look like he has no idea what to do.

Last Thursday, I was sitting in the room with him and my husband was at the door with the door open and the baby gate up. Both of us were busy talking while BW lay at my feet, tummy exposed. We realized how comfortable he looked with both of us there, what a change from a few weeks ago. He did try to stand up with his front paws on the gate and meow like crazy, obviously dying to come out, and when my hubby tried to pet the top of his head he swatted at his hand. BW is still cautious with our movements...

I bought him a bed and am so happy he uses it and enjoys it. I wonder if this is the first bed he's ever had.

On Friday morning we did the same, the both of us spent time with him together and he lay at my feet while we chatted. Then we decided to let him see Harley for a brief minute. She came up to the gate cautiously but no hissing or growling, she just sat low by the gate and stared at him. BW also did not hiss or growl, and he came up to the gate making a murmured meow noise. After awhile of just staring at each other, he tried to lightly swat at her through the slats in the gate playfully and she backed up from him but stayed there staring. I was so proud of both of them. We initially were planning to do this interaction for only a short minute and it ended up being close to 15 minutes. Harley even seemed to lose interest and left to go downstairs, showed up again, and then left again. I gave both of them treats and they sat eating together on either side of the gate. I was thinking that hopefully I can get him out the the bathroom soon!

That night I came to spend time with him before going to bed, like I have done every night. I noticed when I was walking toward the back of the bathroom to sit on the toilet, he kind of grabbed my leg and clung to me with his claws open. Thankfully I had thick pants on but I still wondered why he did that. He also made it difficult for me to leave the room, almost like he didn't want me to go or if I was leaving he wanted to come out. I told him that hopefully soon he'll be out of there.

Saturday (yesterday) morning I went in there . I cleaned his litter pan and swept the floor and stayed there for awhile with him while he rubbed against me. Then I left to get him new food and water. When I returned and proceeded to walk toward the toilet again, he hiss and spat and grabbed at my leg again with his claws. It was like a sudden aggression! I was so disheartened because this and I sternly told him NO. I then kind of scolded him a bit and he went into his bed in the closet and did sort of a low growl. I left the room quickly. Ugh, I was pretty disappointed after having a good couple of days. I also felt bad after I scolded him and was mad at myself for doing it, hoping he wasn't confused with my stern talking and that I didn't set us back with the trust. I did walk slowly like I usually do so I didn't scare him...I don't know why he acted like that, my hubby thinks it's built up energy that he wants to release after being stuck in that room. Probaby?!

I didn't go in there last night but I did open the door and chatted with him by the door. I even let Harley come up to the gate for a little while. Both were fine, BW sort of jumped toward the gate in a kind of playful manner which made Harley jump back a little, but no hissing or growling again.

I kept the visit short and sweet though.

So OG cat did show up finally!! He looks kind of like Orville btw, he's looks like a big beautiful Maine Coon. He showed up last Thursday and I was so relieved!! I guess @catwoman707 was right and he did go into hiding. He hasn't been coming everyday anymore and I wonder if someone else has been feeding him. Also, two new cats showed up two nights ago and they only have been coming at night. And one of them looks like Nero! Such a good looking cat, he has been using the heated cat shelter I made and I love him for that lol. All these beautiful cats, why would anyone want to just leave them out in the cold!! No word back from the TNR group...but I'm not giving up.

Happy Heart Day everyone!!
 

chaucer

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@Chaucer...Hi! Orville does sound like a big gentle teddy bear. It's great that you dedicated a year into feeding him first before taking him in and sometimes I wonder if I moved to quick on taking BW in. I only started feeding him in November. I know what you mean about the FIV concerns. I almost have started leaving those thoughts on the back burner after going into the bathroom everyday to spend time with him and being focused on building our relationship. But then I started exposing Harley to him the other day and those concerns all came back at the fore front. I wish I had the room to take in more cats, that storage room sounds perfect. I've been very concerned about Grey (the female) outside and can't help but feel this never ending anxiety about her situation. I almost feel like I should have taken care of her first before BW. But she won't let me touch her at all, only comes to me at arms length when I feed her. She also only comes during feeding times with the occasional appearance in my backyard. I have no way to just keep her put. She also never goes inside any of the bins I've made as shelters for the cats, even just to check them out.  Last night it went down to 1 degree and all I kept thinking was where can she be sleeping.
@HarleyQ143   I worried about Henryetta in 2014 when there was a real cold period with ice and snow here. She lived under a tarp at the vacant house next door and sometimes went inside there through a broken window,, and she was pregnant too.  I'm sure Grey has a place where she is warm.
 
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harleyq143

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Hi, just a general question to anyone out there following my thread. BW kitty has a vet appointment on Monday that will give him his 2nd distemper vaccine and a full check up but I'm not sure if I should keep the appointment or postpone it. I still am not able to pet him freely and haven't tried picking him up, although my husband did pick him up a few weeks ago when he had tried to jump up onto the baby gate. He didn't do anything but have this surprised look on his face lol. His trust in me has been progressing and I don't want to traumatize him. I bought a new carrier which is bigger and seems easier to put him in then the tiny plastic carrier I initially had for him.  I'm going to buy a calming spray to spray inside as well. But should I still go through with the vet or wait a bit longer?

I've been leaving the bathroom door open briefly for him and Harley to interact with each other. So far no hissing or growling, just low murmured meowing from BW. They have been sticking their paws and playfully swatting each other through the baby gate. I'm thinking of letting him get access into the hallway adjacent to the bathroom. I feel like he's getting a bit depressed being stuck in the bathroom and I feel so bad! He seems to be lying in his bed more often and not meowing at the door as much. Or could this mean he's just getting more comfortable where he's at? I can't help thinking that if he didn't have FIV, I probably would have let him out by now :(  ...but he does, and that's what I'm dealt with.

Another issue is he's also nervous when he hears my daughter's voice, she's a toddler so there's screaming, noise, and crying going on. When he hears her nearby he goes into the closet and lies at the side of his bed. I just don't want him to be so nervous and stressed out so I'm wondering if it's ok to let him out into the hallway now or is he not ready yet. He has to get used to the noise sooner or later. I do have a feliway diffuser plugged in so hoping that's working on him.
 

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Hi, just a general question to anyone out there following my thread. BW kitty has a vet appointment on Monday that will give him his 2nd distemper vaccine and a full check up but I'm not sure if I should keep the appointment or postpone it. I still am not able to pet him freely and haven't tried picking him up, although my husband did pick him up a few weeks ago when he had tried to jump up onto the baby gate. He didn't do anything but have this surprised look on his face lol. His trust in me has been progressing and I don't want to traumatize him. I bought a new carrier which is bigger and seems easier to put him in then the tiny plastic carrier I initially had for him.  I'm going to buy a calming spray to spray inside as well. But should I still go through with the vet or wait a bit longer?

I've been leaving the bathroom door open briefly for him and Harley to interact with each other. So far no hissing or growling, just low murmured meowing from BW. They have been sticking their paws and playfully swatting each other through the baby gate. I'm thinking of letting him get access into the hallway adjacent to the bathroom. I feel like he's getting a bit depressed being stuck in the bathroom and I feel so bad! He seems to be lying in his bed more often and not meowing at the door as much. Or could this mean he's just getting more comfortable where he's at? I can't help thinking that if he didn't have FIV, I probably would have let him out by now :(  ...but he does, and that's what I'm dealt with.

Another issue is he's also nervous when he hears my daughter's voice, she's a toddler so there's screaming, noise, and crying going on. When he hears her nearby he goes into the closet and lies at the side of his bed. I just don't want him to be so nervous and stressed out so I'm wondering if it's ok to let him out into the hallway now or is he not ready yet. He has to get used to the noise sooner or later. I do have a feliway diffuser plugged in so hoping that's working on him.
This is VERY common reaction to a toddler, they are unpredicatable, loud, and so busy, most cats unless brought to the home extremely young will hide when she's around.

This is actually a good thing on both sides, he will hide from her keeping him safe, and her safe as well since, if she got a hold of him because he wasn't afraid and hung around her, she is too young to handle him right and he might swat her good say if she were to grab his tail, etc.

Not sure why he needs another vaccine though, he is an adult now, with young kittens their immune systems are so immature that they need protection from the 3 biggies, the top 2 uri's and panleukopenia (cat parvo) but in adults who have their immune systems matured they normally just get vaccinated once.

If your vet says that it's due to his being positive, then he should go, as the time for giving consecutive vaccines is important.

I would try to give him some more space too, at some point they will start feeling depressed from too long of confinement.
 

chaucer

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I agree with @catwoman707 about the sounds frightening BW and about it being a good thing that he hides too. You wouldn't want your daughter scratched.

As far as thinking you would have let him out with Harley if BW didn't have FIV, that's exactly what I thought too when I brought Orville inside. You and I are more cautious because of the perceived risk to our FIV - kitties. I still find myself a little concerned when I see them all sharing the water bowl or when Orville eats off the other two cats' plates, and don't get me started about the litter boxes!  

I do think BW may be getting a little depressed being shut up in the bathroom so a little more space might alleviate that.  Currently, Orville seems a little depressed because he isn't allowed outside any longer. He lies around on the sofa now, not playing, no tagging along after my other two. I'm hoping this will stop after he's been inside a bit longer.
 
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harleyq143

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Sorry for the late reply @Chaucer and @catwoman707 thank you so much for the input. And I want to thank you for the support and encouragement because since my last post a lot has happened and what has happened has been great so far! It turns out I got myself worked up and nervous over BW for nothing.

So l had to take him to the vet last Monday and I was so scared, I think I was more nervous about getting him into the carrier actually. Well, it was so easy...all I had to do was throw a couple of treats in the carrier and he walked right in! I couldn't believe how easy it was.

But then on the car ride to the vet he started getting frantic & broke out of the carrier! I was freaking out because he was all over the car, on the dashboard, going under my brake pedal, and then going on my lap that I was praying he wasn't going to attack me. I was driving on the highway. I was still nervous about his reactions since I never really handled him or attempted to be affectionate with him. In my head I imagined him scratching my eyes out...

When I got to the vet, I walked in frantic explaining that I had a stray cat loose in the car and I wasn't able to get him because he might bite. Two vet techs came to help me get him back in the carrier armed with cat gloves and a blanket. They get in and all it took was one of the girls leaned over, had her smell her hand, scratch his head, and then she grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and placed him smoothly in the carrier! I stood there with my mouth wide open because I couldn't believe how easy that was and how worried I got myself! They laughed and said I should not have any problem with him since he is so sweet.

During the exam, omg. BW was the most affectionate cat I have ever seen. He was rubbing all over the vet and loving all the petting he was getting from her. I couldn't believe it. I was standing there wide eyed thinking to myself why was I so scared in petting him!? The vet said he was one of the most friendliest cats she has ever met! He even purred after she gave him his distemper shot ( it was his 2nd dose of distemper) followed by a good neck scratch. I cannot believe the whole time I had him locked in the bathroom I was so nervous in petting him. All he wanted was affection! I fell even more in love with him when I saw the way he was in that exam room. And I felt so bad not being loving to him, I just was overly cautious! The vet said he looks great, everything appears healthy, no parasites in his fecal exam, and she even thinks he's younger than I thought...like 2 or 3 years old.

So since Monday, I've been all over him, he is the biggest sweetheart. He is even way better with the vet and with being petted than my Harley Quinn is. We let him have access to the entire upstairs floor for brief times during the day. Today, while my daughter was napping, we let him walk around most of the house with Harley there! There was no malicious activity, he was busy exploring the house and Harley was busy following him and watching him. When he was done,  we put him back into the bathroom so he can decompress after exploring and I still keep him there during the night. I am so relieved he's such a good cat. I love how affectionate he is and I'm glad he trusts me again. I'm so in love with this little guy and happy I gave him a chance, I just need to find him the perfect name still lol!  Praying that the peace, good health, and affection remains.
 

molly92

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Well, he definitely is determined to keep your life exciting! I'm glad you and BW arrived at the vet safe and sound. Don't feel bad about being anxious around him for so long. Letting him be a bit starved for attention seems to have worked in everyone's favor at the vet! You two were probably feeding off each other's anxieties for a while. Maybe it took a relaxed third party like the vet techs to break that cycle! Congratulations on having a cat that loves the vet! I'm so glad everyone's so happy and healthy. Do you have any more pictures of him?
 

chaucer

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So happy for you!  This is how it was for me with Orville, and with Henryetta. I was so afraid to pet Henryetta even though she would rub around my legs. I was afraid she would change after she had her kittens too. Nope, she stretched out her paws to me while she fed her kittens and she trusted me with the kittens immediately. With Orville, I was so afraid of him coming in the house and interacting with Chaucer and Henryetta. Like you, I was so stressed!  Like BW both my strays/semi-ferals are loving cats.  I'm very glad it's this way for BW and your family.  It's so sad when you realize that these cats are abandoned pets and are just wanting love, affection, care and safety.
 

catwoman707

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So happy for you!  This is how it was for me with Orville, and with Henryetta. I was so afraid to pet Henryetta even though she would rub around my legs. I was afraid she would change after she had her kittens too. Nope, she stretched out her paws to me while she fed her kittens and she trusted me with the kittens immediately. With Orville, I was so afraid of him coming in the house and interacting with Chaucer and Henryetta. Like you, I was so stressed!  Like BW both my strays/semi-ferals are loving cats.  I'm very glad it's this way for BW and your family.  It's so sad when you realize that these cats are abandoned pets and are just wanting love, affection, care and safety.
Exactly, once you have an experience with a feral/semi-feral cat and get to know them, seeing they are just the same as any of our domestic cats, wanting the same things, at least for me they are my softest spot, so misunderstood and have the most unfortunate lives. 

If only everyone knew that their fear doesn't make them any different, they get cold, scared, hungry, anxious, and long for safety and comfort.

Makes my heart ache for them all.

I'm so grateful for anyone willing to give them a chance :) 
 
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harleyq143

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@Molly92 Thank you! LOL never a dull moment with this one. I think because of all the drama when I first took him in, I let my nerves get the better of me ever since. I think you are spot on, holding back on affection and having a third party break both of us in really helped...everything happens for a reason!

@catwoman707

@Chaucer

Thank you :) Everyone involved in this thread has really helped in keeping me going after I thought I made the biggest mistake ever. Such great advice, especially reading other people's similar situations which has been so very supportive and helpful! I love reading about Orville and his progress, even Chaucer and Henryetta's situations. I read my original post and I can't believe the position I was in just last month lol
This is at the top of the stairs, in the hallway right outside the bathroom he is staying in.

Harley is slowly taking in the fact she has a new playmate, but still watches cautiously.

BW has that surprised look because I think he was scared of the camera.


Lounging outside his room, still surprised of the camera!  My boy...he has a tattoo on his tummy from when he was neutered.

Very rock n roll :)


Finally the door is open! Harley has been at his door for the past few weeks waiting to meet him!


She's probably making sure he's not getting extra treats LOL! Or maybe she wants to be invited in!?


King bed for the king! This is inside the linen closet, I always wonder if it's his first bed he ever had.

And last one...I forgot I had this shot. This one gets me watery eyed...


This was back in December when I was feeding him outside. He had started to hang around a bit more.  I remember I was so happy

when I looked out the window and saw he was taking a nap on the pad I left out there for him. It was freezing that day.

I now have a heated cat dishes for the cats I still feed outside. But no one else has laid on the pad since...
 

chaucer

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@HarleyQ143    These are fantastic pictures!  The last one makes me teary-eyed too. That's how it was for Orville. I kept adding to his bed to keep him warm. Still feel guilt for not doing all of that for Henryetta. She slept under a tarp on a lawnmower and inside the absentee neighbor's vacant house - got in through a broken window slat.
   It's all good now since BW and my semi-ferals now have good homes with lots of love.

You have done such a wonderful job!  The cats look so healthy and happy.  BW looks like he has a fun, easy-going personality.  Look forward to more updates!
 
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harleyq143

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@Chaucer thank you! It's sad yet amazing how Henryetta found her way into that abandoned house. I hope Grey has a warm place to stay at night. I have no idea where BW slept at night, he would just go to the back of my neighbor's house across the street but I couldn't see beyond the fence. I'm so worried about Grey, I've been reading some of the threads here on pregnant stray cats and it's terrifying what the owner and cat go through! I can just imagine how it was with you and Henryetta. I don't know what to do about her, I want to take her in because I feel so bad when I think of her out there pregnant. But I don't know if I'd be able to handle it.

I have a new problem now with BW. Just when I thought he was going to be ok with having free roam of the house, we just discovered that he peed (or sprayed) in my daughter's play tent. I think he did it overnight. It soaked into all her blankets that I had laid in there for her. Ugh the smell, I was so hoping this was not going to happen. I have a felliway plugged in so it obviously didn't work for the spraying! Last time I had a problem like this was before Harley was fixed and  went through her first heat. She peed on the rug in my daughter's room. This blows!

Is he doing this because he's stressed or trying to be territorial? Does he see my daughter as a threat since he doesn't really know her yet? Should I keep him locked in the bathroom again? I'm reading up on what I can do but if anyone has any suggestions please advise! I'm hoping this doesn't become a habit because then we are going to have a big problem. And right now, I just want to be done with the problems with this boy and be at peace!!
 

chaucer

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@Chaucer thank you! It's sad yet amazing how Henryetta found her way into that abandoned house. I hope Grey has a warm place to stay at night. I have no idea where BW slept at night, he would just go to the back of my neighbor's house across the street but I couldn't see beyond the fence. I'm so worried about Grey, I've been reading some of the threads here on pregnant stray cats and it's terrifying what the owner and cat go through! I can just imagine how it was with you and Henryetta. I don't know what to do about her, I want to take her in because I feel so bad when I think of her out there pregnant. But I don't know if I'd be able to handle it.

I have a new problem now with BW. Just when I thought he was going to be ok with having free roam of the house, we just discovered that he peed (or sprayed) in my daughter's play tent. I think he did it overnight. It soaked into all her blankets that I had laid in there for her. Ugh the smell, I was so hoping this was not going to happen. I have a felliway plugged in so it obviously didn't work for the spraying! Last time I had a problem like this was before Harley was fixed and  went through her first heat. She peed on the rug in my daughter's room. This blows!

Is he doing this because he's stressed or trying to be territorial? Does he see my daughter as a threat since he doesn't really know her yet? Should I keep him locked in the bathroom again? I'm reading up on what I can do but if anyone has any suggestions please advise! I'm hoping this doesn't become a habit because then we are going to have a big problem. And right now, I just want to be done with the problems with this boy and be at peace!!
First let me talk to you about the pregnant stray. I had the same worries about Henryetta that you are having with Grey, but I eventually knew I HAD to do something when she was lying on my doormat the first of April. Like you, I had been going back-and-forth about what I could do. I was scared to touch her, by the way, even though she was very friendly and rubbing around my ankles at this point.  She looked really drained the day I finally decided it was now or never. I thought she might have lost the kittens. I got out the regular carrier and believe it or not she  went into the carrier with ease - going in when I put some canned tuna in the back.  She had to spend the night at the vet's office because he was not there at the time, only his assistant. I picked up Henryetta the next day and just put her in the laundry room. (I overthought this time with Orville). She was fine in there. I was fortunate in that it was springtime and I had that large storage room which I fixed-up while she stayed in the laundry room. Henryetta had a very easy delivery, at least I understand that from people on this site. I wasn't out there with her when she had them, and all the kittens were very healthy as was she.

You've been feeding Grey so her nutrition is good and that can only be beneficial for the kittens and for her. It's really a difficult choice what to do about her. If you feel you can handle another cat and are comfortable, then go for it. If not, you could always try trapping Grey and taking her to a local safe-shelter where she can have her kittens. Do you have any friends who could help you out?

BW knows where his box is now that he has roaming privileges, right?  Perhaps a litter box put in other areas of the house for the time being? I know this is a challenge with a toddler though and your daughter is first priority of course!  It may be that you will have to confine BW at night and when you are not at home. Orville has not done this spraying and neither has Chaucer, but oddly enough Henryetta is backing up to things and "quivering" as if she is spraying. She's not that I can tell.   Someone with a lot more experience will probably have some good suggestions.
 
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