Oh, I definitely agree. Just trying to see things from a different viewpoint.
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Breeder deemed me "unfit" for a kitten :(
- Thread starter quizzie
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The breeder said she sleeps with all her cats in her bed (she has 12 adult cats and 8 kittens from two litters at the moment).
She did explain her reasons: that the kitten will miss her siblings and mother and will cry all night. And that I am heartless to let her cry in the next room alone.
I tried to explain that in the beginning we'd either let her in the bedroom or sleep on the couch with her to make the transition less stressful. And that we're thinking about getting a second kitten for him. But that in the long run we have reasons to not let her in the bedroom, most importantly that we want to have a baby in the near future and I don't think I'd feel comfortable letting the kitty roam around a newborn at night.
She did explain her reasons: that the kitten will miss her siblings and mother and will cry all night. And that I am heartless to let her cry in the next room alone.
I tried to explain that in the beginning we'd either let her in the bedroom or sleep on the couch with her to make the transition less stressful. And that we're thinking about getting a second kitten for him. But that in the long run we have reasons to not let her in the bedroom, most importantly that we want to have a baby in the near future and I don't think I'd feel comfortable letting the kitty roam around a newborn at night.
I'm sorry that the breeder did that to you.
I hope that you find a new kitty to be part of your family soon. Have you considered adopting a cat or kitten from a foster home based rescue? I am a cat foster mom for a rescue myself and it's a great option for adopters.
I hope that you find a new kitty to be part of your family soon. Have you considered adopting a cat or kitten from a foster home based rescue? I am a cat foster mom for a rescue myself and it's a great option for adopters.
Hmmm. Maybe the breeder really was being honest with you about her reasons, although I certainly think it was over the top to call you heartless because you don't want your cat to sleep with you. Furthermore you came up with reasonable solutions for helping the kitten get used to your place and deal with how much she would miss siblings and mama.
A point about cats and new-borns. When the time comes, I think you'll find that cats usually deal very well with the new arrival. Definitely research all the steps to make the introduction go well, but I just wanted to reassure about this since some parents-to-be worry so much about it. My cat accepted my newborn with no problem at all and when that newborn became a toddler, put up with indignities no self-respecting cat should endure! Anyone else would have gotten a sharp nip.
But back to the main point of your post - I wouldn't take this to heart. The breeder sounds like she is having a hard time letting go of these kittens, which must be an occupational hazard. I'm sure you will find a wonderful cat at a rescue or shelter.
I have learned that doing business with unreasonable people is usually not worth it. Lets address foolish. She is raising her kittens with the expectation that everyone will want them to behave this way. It's almost the same as saying I don't mind they using the sofa as a scratching post or they always sit on the kitchen table with us at breakfast. Sometimes it's best to count the blessing that doesn't look like one because something more suited for you is waiting at either a breeder, rescue or shelter. My philosophy is the right pet in the right home the first time. I don't care if shop or adopt. But choosing the right pet the first time is the best way to end pets being dumped for incompatibility which often manifests as behavior issues. You have a decent long term plan for your pets. Someone is going to get lucky.
That woman completely over-reacted. You will be much better off getting a cat from a shelter. People don't always get what they want - I would love to have my cat sleep with me, but he doesn't want to most of the time. I don't have any control over that.
People are idiots! Sorry, but that type stuff makes me angry.
We do some animal rescue - actually it's by default since we host a program for at-risk kids on our farm. Since we've been doing this for years, the rescue groups in our area know we are suckers for any animal in need. I cannot tell you how many times people have called in desperation because someone wants their cat/dog/whatever euthanized because of some incredibly selfish and stupid reason. (such as the animal not matching their new decor and yes, this has happened twice!) I often end up with special needs animals living in our house and am always seeking good homes. I have a cat that spent the first three years of her life living in a closet. She was terrified the first few months she lived here and hid constantly. A woman, who came to look at another cat we had ready for adoption, became very angry when she saw we kept the closet kitty in a condo (cage). When I attempted to explain that the cat needed her privacy and the only reason the door was shut was because there were people coming and going all day, the woman told me we should just euthanize the kitty. Making her adjust was cruel! UGH! Flash forward a year and this scared little cat is now my social butterfly cat. She has to greet everyone who comes to the house and is constantly seeking out new things to do. Then there's my 3-legged Pit Bull. He came to us after being badly abused as a puppy. People told me to have him put down because "we all know Pit Bulls that are abused will become dangerous" or "he's suffering." My Pit has been here for four years and is the official cat comforter. He is amazing with the troubled kids and is one of the most gentle dogs I know. I've also had people tell me they won't send an animal here because "you have so many, how can you possibly give them all attention?" People who know us and our programs, often tease me saying that if they come back as cats/dogs/horses, they want to come live here. BTW: One of my cats spends the night in her own room because she has a bad habit of sitting on the bed and screaming in the middle of the night. She runs into the room at night, eats her cookie and that is the end of the day. In the morning she is happy, not at all stressed.
All you can do about stupid people is to leave them behind. It sounds as if this breeder is a bit cracked. Making snap judgments based on nothing but a few e-mails is just wrong. Despite the heartache, I think you are going to find that you are better off not getting a cat from this nut. I encourage you to check with a local shelter/rescue and see if you can find the cat for you there.
We do some animal rescue - actually it's by default since we host a program for at-risk kids on our farm. Since we've been doing this for years, the rescue groups in our area know we are suckers for any animal in need. I cannot tell you how many times people have called in desperation because someone wants their cat/dog/whatever euthanized because of some incredibly selfish and stupid reason. (such as the animal not matching their new decor and yes, this has happened twice!) I often end up with special needs animals living in our house and am always seeking good homes. I have a cat that spent the first three years of her life living in a closet. She was terrified the first few months she lived here and hid constantly. A woman, who came to look at another cat we had ready for adoption, became very angry when she saw we kept the closet kitty in a condo (cage). When I attempted to explain that the cat needed her privacy and the only reason the door was shut was because there were people coming and going all day, the woman told me we should just euthanize the kitty. Making her adjust was cruel! UGH! Flash forward a year and this scared little cat is now my social butterfly cat. She has to greet everyone who comes to the house and is constantly seeking out new things to do. Then there's my 3-legged Pit Bull. He came to us after being badly abused as a puppy. People told me to have him put down because "we all know Pit Bulls that are abused will become dangerous" or "he's suffering." My Pit has been here for four years and is the official cat comforter. He is amazing with the troubled kids and is one of the most gentle dogs I know. I've also had people tell me they won't send an animal here because "you have so many, how can you possibly give them all attention?" People who know us and our programs, often tease me saying that if they come back as cats/dogs/horses, they want to come live here. BTW: One of my cats spends the night in her own room because she has a bad habit of sitting on the bed and screaming in the middle of the night. She runs into the room at night, eats her cookie and that is the end of the day. In the morning she is happy, not at all stressed.
All you can do about stupid people is to leave them behind. It sounds as if this breeder is a bit cracked. Making snap judgments based on nothing but a few e-mails is just wrong. Despite the heartache, I think you are going to find that you are better off not getting a cat from this nut. I encourage you to check with a local shelter/rescue and see if you can find the cat for you there.
Don't worry - you'll be able to laugh at this in years to come. We were once refused 2 cats which were advertised as needing a new home immediately. Weeks later they were still "an emergency".
I am now fostering cats for a local organization and have learnt that cat people are no worse but not always better than the rest of the population. In my organization we do have some unwritten rules: for instance, no young cat will be rehomed to elderly people unless a younger person agrees to sign the contract and take responsibility should anything happen to the new owners; cats who've lost their tail should not be given to people living in high-rise apartments. However, whoever is fostering a cat can veto a new owner - after all, when one has spent weeks or even months getting an animal fit and ready for a new home, one feels responsible for making sure that the new home is at least as good as the one the animal is leaving.
And that's the problem. For some mad cat ladies no home is good enough for their proteges. Some forget that human beings also have feelings and deserve to be treated with respect. If a potential owner tells me she will not allow the cat to sleep on the beds, I just smile and say "Wait and see". My cats rarely sleep with me at the moment (pity!) because one of my bossy fosters refuses to let any of them into my room at night. I will be relieved when this particular cat is rehomed. Unfortunately, she disappears whenever anybody comes to take a look at her!
I am now fostering cats for a local organization and have learnt that cat people are no worse but not always better than the rest of the population. In my organization we do have some unwritten rules: for instance, no young cat will be rehomed to elderly people unless a younger person agrees to sign the contract and take responsibility should anything happen to the new owners; cats who've lost their tail should not be given to people living in high-rise apartments. However, whoever is fostering a cat can veto a new owner - after all, when one has spent weeks or even months getting an animal fit and ready for a new home, one feels responsible for making sure that the new home is at least as good as the one the animal is leaving.
And that's the problem. For some mad cat ladies no home is good enough for their proteges. Some forget that human beings also have feelings and deserve to be treated with respect. If a potential owner tells me she will not allow the cat to sleep on the beds, I just smile and say "Wait and see". My cats rarely sleep with me at the moment (pity!) because one of my bossy fosters refuses to let any of them into my room at night. I will be relieved when this particular cat is rehomed. Unfortunately, she disappears whenever anybody comes to take a look at her!
Why shouldn't cats who've lost their tails be given to people living in high-rise apartments? I'm completely stumped on this one!
I think it's great that you're planning to visit shelters, Quizzie! We adopted our two Siamese mixes (littermates) at a shelter, which I mention because you never know what kind of cats you might find at a shelter! They've worked out to be great cats for us but there were lots of other really sweet ones that really needed homes, too. No matter what kind of cat you adopt, it sounds like you're ready for his or her arrival! I'm convinced that's the most important part of cat greatness: truly making a cat feel welcome in your household, by which I mean both the house itself and its people.
And I couldn't agree more with this:
And I couldn't agree more with this:
Well, cats use their tails to help keep their balance. In Germany we have many blocks of flats with balconies and there are accidents when cats fall off balconies or out of windows. Cats are supposed to fall on their feet and are often unharmed after a fall from amazing heights. But, this is not always the case. Locally, cats falling out of not-so-high-rise buildings have not found their way home, and in one sad case the elderly cat was found injured, taken to a cattery and euthanized. The owner, who contacted my organization to do the detective work, was inconsolable.
Perhaps this rule is not so critical - we've always found suitable homes for cats and kittens with shortened tails or no-tails and we've none of these unfortunate creatures on our books at the moment.
Perhaps this rule is not so critical - we've always found suitable homes for cats and kittens with shortened tails or no-tails and we've none of these unfortunate creatures on our books at the moment.
I've heard that Siamese are very vocal. Just a warning. When we adopted in 2005 (from a shelter & not Siamese), our intent was to keep them out of the bedroom. Cynthia (little dilute calico) had other ideas and an ear piercing meow outside out door. I finally said that if she wanted in that bad, I was letting her in (it was DH's idea to keep them out). Worked out great, both cats slept on the bed with us and cuddled with each other. I miss Cynthia fiercely. We have Cricket now, and she pretty much does her own thing and doesn't sleep on the bed with us. Swanie still does sometimes, though, and that's nice.
I hope you find the perfect cat for you somewhere, and do check the rescue shelters. We occasionally get pure bred cats in the one where I volunteer, if that's what's important. Also cats born into the system in case you want a cat you know their history. There are a lot of wonderful kitties out there looking for homes, for sure.
I hope you find the perfect cat for you somewhere, and do check the rescue shelters. We occasionally get pure bred cats in the one where I volunteer, if that's what's important. Also cats born into the system in case you want a cat you know their history. There are a lot of wonderful kitties out there looking for homes, for sure.
OH I KNOW! I KNOW! I actually do know this one! It's because of the role that the tail plays in balance, and how much easier it would be for a tail-less or short-tailed cat to lose balance on a balcony or window ledge as compared to a long tailed cat!
Why shouldn't cats who've lost their tails be given to people living in high-rise apartments? I'm completely stumped on this one!
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I wonder why a breeder who got good reviews would accept anyone as a potential "kitty mama" without meeting them first. I wouldn't do that. I'd want to see the whites of their eyes first before allowing anyone to take one of my little kittens. That plus a whole lot more. I wouldn't even know where to start. Is asking for SS# too much?
Although it might be a moot point now that you are considering a shelter kitty - a wonderful idea - I'd have to agree with @Margd that it sounds like this breeder is having a hard time letting go of her kittens for some reason. Perhaps she needed a reason and it didn't even have to be a really good one? I think you sound like an ideal candidate. But I still wonder why if she is so particular that she didn't insist on meeting you in person, or anyone in person. I think she's making a mistake there.
I also want to second what another poster said about cats doing well with babies. My cat has always been awesome with my niece, and has been incredibly gentle even at times when she's not. My brother's chihuahua, however, seriously resents my niece and makes it clear he does NOT like her. He won't play with her, he tries to avoid her, and he gets sulky when people give her a lot of attention.
To be fair, everyone doted on him before she was born, so I guess he kinda feels like the forgotten "sibling."
Also, co-signed on the many recommendations to go to a shelter.
To be fair, everyone doted on him before she was born, so I guess he kinda feels like the forgotten "sibling."
Also, co-signed on the many recommendations to go to a shelter.
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You're doing amazing work. I'm so grateful there is a place for unwanted animals to be loved and wanted again!
And your stories just goes to show that everyone has different expectations of what (their) animals should do and how they should behave. So many un-neutered animals because owners feel "bad" that their sex organs are being "chopped" off. Or owners that feel their animals are out to spite them when they do a "bad" behaviour and thus, need discipline, or worse things in order to make the behaviour obsolete.
The breeder's opinion of you is definitely not true. Like many have said, she has a different expectation of what kind of life she wants for her kitties. To her, keeping a cat out of a room and thus leaving them alone for 8-10 hours is not something she agrees with. But it's certainly not cruel! I guess she just has very strong opinions and it might also have to do with the breed she's breeding since Siamese cats are known to become depressed or develop separation anxiety when left alone for long hours.
But it's not a death sentence, obviously, to keep a Siamese out of a room. And you even mentioned you would consider getting your kitten a companion so she probably won't even be alone that long anyway!
Oh well! The good (and bad) thing about cats, is there are plenty of them and many of them waiting to be loved by you!
I wonder if the breeder would have a similar response if a potential buyer said that he / she works long hours every day so the cat would have to be completely alone for like 12 hours, either with full or partial access to the entire house or restricted to a bedroom or other room. Or if the buyer travels a l ot and would have to board or hire a pet sitter frequently.
My cats are left alone for around 12 hours while I'm at work and most weekends. The cats do not get access to the bedroom if I'm going to be gone for more than an hour.
Some breeds of cats may be more anxious than others if left alone. You could medicate but a better way is to get a second cat so the two can keep each other company.
My cats are left alone for around 12 hours while I'm at work and most weekends. The cats do not get access to the bedroom if I'm going to be gone for more than an hour.
Some breeds of cats may be more anxious than others if left alone. You could medicate but a better way is to get a second cat so the two can keep each other company.
I have one point to add. Many cats wants / needs a pal. Especially such a lively breed as siamese. So possibly, plan on two - the easiest is of course to take in a pair when you know from beginning they are good pals. Such is common esp if you take them from a shelter.
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The breeder lives quite far away from us. Actually we wanted to go for a visit to see the kittens... And the breeder said it's not how she does it and that we could infect the unvaccinated kittens.
That's good news.
Yep, we're definitely considering it. Especially if we find two siblings, we'll take'em both.
That's what we did and it has worked out really well. Our shelter did have some non-sibling bonded pairs, too, but these two fit us best!
