Should I just keep my mouth shut?

My brother and sister-in-law just had to have their cat euthanized due to kidney failure. She was only nine or ten years old--I don't remember exactly. They had fed her an all-dry and not so great diet her whole life (Purina Cat Chow I think), which I have heard can contribute to kidney failure. They also fed her A LOT of Whiskas Temptations treats. They always laughed at me for feeding my cats "special" food when they fed their cat cheaper food, and she had "never been sick her whole life." I have no idea if her diet contributed to her illness, and the vet really didn't know what caused it. They are considering getting another cat. If they do, should I say anything about feeding their new cat more wet or at least a higher quality food, or should I just mind my own business? My sister-in-law does not always take kindly to unsolicited advice, even though she loves to dish it out to others.

I know it can be difficult and not very economical to feed wet. I have only gotten one of my little dry food addicts to eat half dry and half wet so far (the other likes wet more), and I spend a lot of money.

Hmm. There's some internet chatter about Temptations Treats. Might not hurt to suggest she look that up, at least.

If they can get their next cat started in canned, even Friskies, it would be healthier than any all-dry diet.

You are right to be concerned and are to be thanked for trying to intervene on a cats' behalf, but it is a suggestion that may cause a rift in the family and you may have to step lightly. Hundreds of thousands of cats have survived on dry diets, maybe not perfectly, but survived. Many cats develop kidney/heart issues as they get older, even the ones who have received the best care in the world. Then I've had ferals that receive no vet care and all dry food and survive for 15 years. I try to feed the world, so dry food is my only option not to go bankrupt. (Although I do mix it with wet to get them to eat it better.) If dry food led to definite dangers I'm sure there would be an uproar and a recall on all dry food. A vegetarian diet is the 'best' for humans to maintain a healthy lifestyle, are most of us on it? NO! I have two cats that absolutely refuse to eat wet food, but they are encouraged to drink with fountains and many water bowls and are healthy and energetic. If you know your sister in law won't exactly welcome your advise, maybe you can "gift" the new arrival with a case of Friskies, I wouldn't go with an expensive one because you already know they won't buy more. Or gift them with a bag of better quality dry and tell them it has less grains which are not natural in a cats diet. Or encourage a cat water fountain. I'm happy another deserving soul may be getting a home, after all the most important thing in a cats' life is LOVE!

I'm torn on this one. If the kitty died from acute kidney disease (meaning it came on suddenly and progressed quickly), the food wouldn't have been a factor. If it was chronic - which spans over some period of time, like months or often years - then yes, it could have been a factor. I suppose with acute, one could argue the kidneys may have been more susceptible, but honestly I don't think it would matter.

There are also some cats that just seem to be genetically pre-disposed to health issues.

As for Temptations, when my Lucky was in acute renal failure, there was a point where that was the main thing he WOULD eat. When you have a cat that is so sick he will barely eat, but you find that one thing he will, it makes you so happy you'll want to do cartwheels. So I'm pretty thankful they exist.

Oh, and I'm not arguing about dry vs wet. I can say I have fed dry to my cats my whole life and yes, a few of them (out of very many cats) got kidney disease. The vast majority did not. I'm sure there are cats that eat an all-wet diet that also get kidney failure. I honestly don't know the percentages on that though. In recent years we started feeding wet as a treat. Not really sure when that started, to be honest, it was quite awhile back. Now they get a little bit more wet. But they still get dry also.

But if you want to help, to soften the blow, you might want to suggest canned food in addition to dry. I wouldn't go suggesting they get high-quality, grain-free, or any other label you want to put on it. Start small. Suggest they feed at least SOME wet, let them pick what they want and can afford. If you suggest they go all out, they may not take anything you say to heart.

Maybe phrase it in a positive way? "Oh, my cats seem to love [brand of food]! And I think I can really notice a difference -- their coats look really glossy and they're always full of energy." Make it so that feeding a higher quality food looks like a positive rather than you seeming like a know-it-all busybody to them.

If that seems to go down well, I agree with Di and Bob to try and welcome in the new cat with a gift of some food. Doesn't have to be a lot, but a bag of dried and a couple of cans of a reasonable (price & quality) wet. You run the risk of your SIL ignoring or even throwing out the wet, but I think that's the best you can do if you want to avoid strife in the family.

I can relate my Mother-In-Law feeds her cat 9 Lives and insists its what she has always fed her cats. We went on a group shopping trip to Target and she needed cat food . I convinced her to purchase Cat Chow Naturals it was the best they had at that store IMO. Her cat loved it but she only feeds it as a treat! She would probably have a heart attack if she knew I feed Blue Buffalo Sensative Systems. I understand some people are on a budget. Her cat is so fat and I believe it's because 9 Lives is so high in carbs. Plus she only feeds dry. To each there own I guess. My Sister-In -Law was trying to convince her to get the Cat Chow Indoor cause it has vegetables in it!

 I tend to not spoil mine with food very much. Meaning cat food. I do give them left over milk from children's glasses, and left over meats, and cheeses, the innards of the chicken we eat, cooked in a sauce pan with water to make a nice broth. I try to always keep fresh water for them. Also any other bones or meat that are not too spicy. I think the oily broth from the chicken makes them look very glossy, and slick. When I desire to put weight on them for winter I whip an egg, with a quarter cup heavy whipping cream, every three days, and they get all fat, and glossy with extra thick healthy fur. I have never had a sick cat in over forty years, except from them rarely fighting with other cats, raccoons, possums, and other creatures, and they always heal very quickly.

That's rough. It seems like these are the kind of people who are not likely to change no matter what you say, especially if the advice comes from you because they've already decided the way you take care of cats is silly. You could try mentioning very gently that you've heard that wet food is better for a cat's kidneys because it keeps them better hydrated, and leave it at that. It makes a lot of sense, so they can't really argue with you, and if might stew in their mind a bit because they don't want to go through kidney problems again. Or they'll just ignore you completely, and at least you tried. If you're any more insistent than that they'll just be more defensive and it won't do their cat any good, so it's not worth getting into a fight over. At least, that's been my experience with similar family members.

Dillon said:

 
 I tend to not spoil mine with food very much. Meaning cat food. I do give them left over milk from children's glasses, and left over meats, and cheeses, the innards of the chicken we eat, cooked in a sauce pan with water to make a nice broth. I try to always keep fresh water for them. Also any other bones or meat that are not too spicy. I think the oily broth from the chicken makes them look very glossy, and slick. When I desire to put weight on them for winter I whip an egg, with a quarter cup heavy whipping cream, every three days, and they get all fat, and glossy with extra thick healthy fur. I have never had a sick cat in over forty years, except from them rarely fighting with other cats, raccoons, possums, and other creatures, and they always heal very quickly.

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I don't mean to thread jack, but I wanted to let you know that cats cannot digest cows milk or heavy cream. If you wish to give your cats milk, Cats Sip or raw goat's milk are great as treats. Cats are also allergic to a lot of cooking spices (like onions) that we use when cooking - so be careful with meat.  Also, cats can choke on cooked chicken bones, since they splinter and can get lodged in the throat or intestines. A raw chicken wing is fine as an occasional treat if you wish to feed that. 

Tabbysia said:

 If they do, should I say anything about feeding their new cat more wet or at least a higher quality food, or should I just mind my own business? My sister-in-law does not always take kindly to unsolicited advice, even though she loves to dish it out to others.

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I personally would say something like "My cat loved "X" food, I bet your cats would love it too!" I super have a hard time keeping my mouth shut with stuff like that also, but it always turns into a pointless argument. 

It turns out they had not still been feeding their cat Cat Chow, but 9 Lives. I'm not sure if that makes a difference--just thought I would mention it.

I'm the one getting lectured about food choices now. My
brother and sister-in-law happened to be at my house a few days ago when a cat food shipment from chewy.com arrived. They watched me unpack the box, and my sister-in-law scoffed at my food selections and asked me why I bought that "expensive crap," and said that it was ridiculous to buy that kind of food. I explained to her that one of my cats has medical issues and can't have certain things. She didn't believe me. I let it slide, but since she was in the mood to talk about cat food, I hinted that some things in the cheaper cat foods aren't good for ANY cat. It didn't sink in, and she said some more snarky things to me, but at least I tried. I guess I'll just have to agree to disagree.

Now there's another issue. They have not gotten another cat yet, but if and when they do, they plan to make it an outdoor cat this time. They live in a rural area on 10 acres of land, so cars are not much of an issue, but there is an abundance of coyotes in the area. They have come right up to their backyard fence at night. I don't know if the coyotes can get over the fence or not, but a cat definitely can--and get snatched and eaten. I expressed my concern about this, and they said that it's the "circle of life" and they'll just get another cat. My sister-in-law lived in a rural area growing up and had several of her outdoor cats carried off by coyotes. She witnessed it happening twice (saw cat in coyote's mouth) and was traumatized by it, so I am not sure why she would want to do it again. I guess this is another thing that I will have to keep my mouth shut about!

This all sounds very frustrating. I live in a rural area and when i was growing up all of our cats were indoor outdoor. We lost two to coyotes when they were under a year old. 

However some cats do fine. We had a cat when I was growing up who was indoor outdoor and ate Purina Cat Chow all her life. She lived to be 17. 

I don't see how that is helpful, especially soon after euthanizing.

I fed my cats dry food their whole lives - I lost one to cancer and another has cancer, but none have had kidney diseases. My eldest needs to eat wet now, so I do that (I'm guessing it'd be considered "cheap stuff"). If someone brought that up after having to euthanize one for a kidney issue, I don't think I'd want to talk to them anytime soon.

If the vet has concerns about the food, then the vet should be the one bringing it up.

And as someone else stated - you really can't know it was food-related.

I am not big on outdoor cats, but I have relatives who made that work.

Unless people are actively abusing or neglecting their cats, just leave it alone.

I mean, a cat gets a home here, and they did seem to care about their last one.

rampionrampage I actually did NOT say anything to them about their food choice as it relates to kidney disease. I was careful not to. I just made a general statement about some ingredients not being good for cats AFTER they started harping on me about what I was buying and asking me why I bought it.

As for them caring about their last cat--not so much. My sister-in-law probably cared about the cat, but my brother hated her, and stated this several times. She would be shoved away and yelled at everytime she approached him to get some attention. FYI--he does the same thing with their dogs.

Is itt possible to make suggestions subliminally? I wouldn't even know the first thing about how to proceed, but it sounds like if it's not her idea she won't do it. My sister is like that. If you suggest something, be sure that is the ONE thing she won't do!

There is a divisiveness in the animal community based on dollars spent, hours at the vet, etc, and I don't think it's helpful. I think it's mostly generated by retail companies who honestly don't care what anyone buys as long as they are willing to pay for their product. The result is groups of animal caretakers against other animal caretakers over really small differences that have nothing to do with: "Does this cat get fed? Do they have a home that at least notices what's going on?" Even if that results in CKD (which, again, you have no way of doing and it's really pointless to do a post-mortem on a cat that you've never treated), would that cat necessarily have been better off in a shelter?

I'm sorry you felt put out by what they were saying to you. They still lost a cat. They are still willing to look after another. The end result is the same: Home, food, minimum care, still better than being at a shelter.

I know it's been a while, but I have an update. My brother and sister-in-law do have two outside cats now--well sort of. There is a neutered male cat that actually belongs to one of their neighbors, but they have claimed him as their own, and they feed him so that he will stay at their house. They have even (re)named him. I'm not so sure how their neighbor feels about that. The other cat is an unspayed semi-feral female that they also feed and have named. She has been pregnant several times, but they have never seen a kitten. I shudder to think what could have happened to all of those kittens. There are a lot of wild animals where they live. She is currently pregnant again.